欲望都市（1998）

Sex and the City S01E11

Part 1 July 15, 2023, 1:10 p.m.

“回归现实”
纽约人满脑子想的都和性有关
New York City is all about sex.
有人正在享受性♥爱♥
People getting it.
有人想得到
People trying to get it.
有些人却得不到
And people who can't get it.
难怪纽约是个不夜城
No wonder the city never sleeps,
人们根本忙得没时间睡
it's too busy trying to get laid.
但如果你想和某人上♥床♥
But if you ever actually do manage to get someone in bed,
有趣的事就来了
the real fun begins.
里面好像有坚果
That's the kind with nuts in it.
我们爱坚果
We love our nuts.
我和大人物同床共枕几星期后
After sleeping together for many weeks,
我们好像越来越习惯睡在一起
Mr. Big and I had gotten comfortable enough to really sleep together.
这种感觉很棒
It was nice.
这是我梦寐以求的相处方式
It was the way I'd always dreamed it could be.
早
Good morning.
早
Morning.
是你？
Was that you?
天啊
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
有可能更糟
I think it might be worse under there.
闭嘴
Shut up. Shut up!
闭嘴
Shut up!
我飞快穿好衣服好像是在男生宿舍被抓到一样
I hadn't dressed so quickly since the time I was caught in the boy's dorm sophomore year.
等一下你要喝杯咖啡？
Wait. Don't you want some coffee?
不我迟到了
Oh, gosh. I'm late for a thing.
天啊真是糗死了
Oh, my God. I was mortified. Oh.
接着一整天我都没打给他
I didn't call him the rest of the day.
想让自己忙于工作
I tried to lose myself in work,
但每次一停下来
but every time I stopped for a second to think,
那声音就是挥之不去
I'd relive my hell all over again.
隔天我意识到自己的行为实在太幼稚了
The next day, I realized how childish I was behaving.
所以决定化解僵局用成熟的方式来解决
I decided to stop avoiding the situation and take the grown-up approach,
全盘否认
complete and utter denial.
我看到麦特画廊要举♥行♥哥雅的画作展
Oh, so I saw The Met is opening a new Goya exhibit.
这星期六你要去吗？
Do you want to go this Saturday?
好
Sure.
麻烦帮我再拿点酱？
Could you get me some more duck sauce, please?
没问题
I most certainly can.
我们可顺便去看雷诺瓦的画
Oh, and then we have to stop and see the Renoirs.
我好喜欢雷诺瓦
I love the Renoirs.
好
Okay.
这就是每段恋情从浪漫转为现实的时刻
There's a moment in every relationship where romance gives way to reality.
你知道吗？我累惨了
You know, you know what? I'm exhausted.
我们今晚休息
You mind if we just call it a night?
-好吗？-好
-Okay? -Sure.
对不起
Sorry.
晚安
Goodnight.
这是我们第一次睡在一起却没做♥爱♥
That was the first night we slept together and didn't make love.
到下星期已经连续发生三次
By the middle of the next week, it was three times in a row,
我开始担心起来
and I was beginning to worry.
三次？试试三个月吧
Three times? Try three months.
-不会吧？-没错
-No. -Yes.
到了三个月时你脸上就不会有这种恐惧表情
Now would be a good time to wipe that horrified look off your face.
抱歉我只是…
Sorry, sweetie. I'm sorry.
不知道到底怎么回事？
I just... wow, I didn't know. Where have I been?
你只是没有做♥爱♥
You've been having sex.
而我却可怜到只能去租录影带
I've been at Blockbuster renting videos. It's tragic.
累积的金额已可以得到很多免费的ＱＱ糖
I'm like two rentals away from a free pound of gummy bears.
放轻松这只是一阵子
Oh, relax. You're just in a dry spell.
真不敢相信你会这么讲
I can't believe you said that.
三次你就大惊小怪
You're all freaked out about three times.
-而我说的是三个月 -那不一样
-I'm talking three months. -Yeah, but that's different.
有男朋友却没做♥爱♥
Not doing it when you're with someone means much more
比没有男朋友做♥爱♥还更严重
than not doing it when you're not with someone.
你到底担心什么？
What are you worried about?
你不是说一切都很顺利感觉很棒？
I thought you said everything felt really comfortable and great.
对可能是太顺利了
Yeah, well, maybe too comfortable.
什么意思？
What do you mean?
我放屁了
I farted.
在我男朋友面前放屁
I farted in front of my boyfriend.
然后呢？
And?
接着我们就不做♥爱♥了
And we're no longer having sex
他可能把我当成哥儿们
and he thinks of me as one of the boys.
接着我要搬到另一个城市去
And I'm gonna have to move to another city
确定这个耻辱不会永远跟着我
where the shame of this won't follow me.
你是人当然会放屁
You farted! You're human.
但不想被他知道
I don't want him to know that.
我是说他是个完美的人
I mean, he's this perfect guy.
有间完美的房♥子穿着完美入时的服装
You know, he walks around his perfect apartment with his perfect suit.
一切就是太完美…
And he's just perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect.
而我却是个会放屁的女人
And I'm the girl who farts.
-难怪我们不能做♥爱♥ -你哪根筋不对了？
-No wonder we're not having sex. -You're insane.
三次而已这相当正常
It's been three times. It's perfectly normal.
谁说的？
Says who?
谁说不做♥爱♥…
I mean, say it's not the...
那么以后怎么办？
then what else is going on?
睡在一起却不做♥爱♥ 这很正常吗？
I mean is it normal to be in the same bed and not do it?
那得看你对正常的定义
I guess it depends on what's normal for you.
天啊真是讨厌
Oh, God, I hate that.
我怎会知道什么才算正常？
Who am I to know what's normal?
我又没有身经百战的恋爱史根本无从得知
I've been dating a hundred years, I don't have a clue.
对我来说三个月算不正常
Well, three months is not normal for me.
一个月时还蛮有趣的
One month was interesting.
两个月就开始麻木
Two months was numbing.
三个月我可能快疯了
Three months, I am going out of my mind.
纽约有130万单身男性
There are 1.3 million single men in New York.
180万单身女性
1.8 million single women.
总共超过300万的单身人口
And of these more than 3 million people,
却有12%的人觉得没得到足够的性♥爱♥
about 12 think they're having enough sex.
究竟多久做一次才算是正常？
How often is normal?
我一天得手♥淫♥三次才能解决需求
I have to masturbate three times a day just to make it through.
有些人是咖啡休息时间我则是手♥淫♥休息时间
Some people take coffee breaks. I take jerk off breaks.
有人说33岁的女性平均一星期要做3.5次
They say the average 33-year old woman has sex 3.5 times a week.
我很想知道她是谁
I'd like to know who that woman Is.
从孩子出生后我和老婆就没再做过爱
You know, my wife and I haven't had sex since the baby was born.
明年秋天时小孩就要申请进入耶鲁大学
The baby's applying to Yale next fall.
平均一天一次但特殊的日子则一天两次
Oh, once, one time a day, but two time on very special day.
所谓“正常”就是理想与现实的中间点
Normal is the halfway point between what you want and what you can get.
就算在这混沌状况下
Even in the plow position,
莎曼珊的性♥爱♥解析仍值得信赖
I could count on Samantha for amazing sexual clarity.
好换成狗吠式
Very good. Let's move on to downward facing dog.
呜
Whoof.
如果是他我可以不眠不休大战一场
With him, I could do it every hour on the hour.
如果大人物和我一起睡却不做♥爱♥
Do you think it means something if Big and I are sleeping together
你觉得这代表什么？
but we're not sleeping together?
说实话？
The truth?
我不是一向都听实话？
When have I ever wanted that?
好说吧
Yeah, okay, tell me.
我觉得麻烦大了
I think there's trouble.
做♥爱♥是检验彼此关系的气压计
I mean, sex is a barometer for what's going on in the relationship.
我本来不打算说但…
Well, I wasn't going to tell you this, but, um...
我放屁了
I farted.
把那垫子拿走
Then move your mat away.
我不是说现在
Not now.
我在大人物面前放屁了
I did it in front of Big.
天大的错误
Huge mistake.
真的？
You think?
又不是我能控制
It wasn't a choice.
我是个人
I'm human. It happened.
不你是个女人
No, honey, you're a woman,
男人不喜欢女人像个人类