欲望都市（1998）

Sex and the City S04E04

Part 3 July 15, 2023, 1:22 p.m.

I guess they've had sex.
-显而易见 -我们那里有三个洞
-Apparently so. -And we have three holes down there.
好吧不要说你们的事了
Okay, stop talking about your relationship.
还有更美好的连老二都到不了的地方
But it's fascinating! There are places a dick just can't go.
有些老二其实还是可以的
Oh, some dicks manage just fine.
拜托玛莉亚就像有十根老二
Please, Maria has ten dicks.
顺带一提是你开启话题的
For the record, you started this.
抱歉
I am sorry,
但是手指并不算老二
but a finger is not a dick.
比较像是三分之一的老二
Yes, a finger is more like a third of a dick,
所以准确的说玛莉亚只有三又三分之一根
so technically, Maria only has three and a third dicks.
我可以告诉你们
I can tell you right now,
这样...
this...
跟这样可不一样
is not the same as this...
好吧不要比了
Okay, put that away.
我只能说尺寸不是问题
I'm just saying, size has nothing to do with it.
你是怎么了？
What's happening to you?
我正在受教育
I'm getting an education.
我只需要去了解
Not only do I now know everything there is to know
伟大的“葡赛塔”
about the glorious boceta.
葡萄牙文的“阴♥道♥”
That's Portuguese for pussy.
葡赛塔她阴♥道♥ 我们不要再谈这个了
Boceta, schmagina, let's call the whole thing off.
最重要的是...
The most important thing...
玛莉亚教会我如何跟她相连结
...is that Maria has taught me how to connect during sex.
这不只是动物的行为...
It's not just some animal act...
而是两个人做♥爱♥做的事
It's about two people making love.
我还没决定穿哪一件
-I couldn't pick a shirt. -Oh.
蓝还是红我不知道进来
Red, blue, I didn't know. Come on in.
我帮你调杯玛格丽特
-I'm making margaritas. -Hey!
看我买♥♥了什么
Look what I bought today.
第一张爵士唱片
My first jazz CD.
你一定要听听这个
No. You gotta hear that on vinyl.
等一下雷
Wait, Ray.
雷...
Ray, Ray...
雷停下来
Ray! Ray, stop.
不要放音乐
Don't play anything.
不要急不要切菜不要调酒不要...
Don't scat, don't chop, don't blend, don't...
我们...
Could we...
我们可以坐下来聊一会儿吗？
Could we just sit and talk for awhile?
非得聊天不可
Oh, the "gotta talk" girl, gotta talk, gotta talk.
你在想“我们可以进展到什么地步？”
"What are you thinking? Where is this going?"
我不是那种女孩...
No, I'm not that girl, I'm not, um...
我只是想跟你聊聊
I'm not any girl, I just want to talk.
就是聊聊而已
You know, talk...
比如...你的家乡在哪里？你曾经提过泽西海岸
Like... Where are you from? You said something about the Jersey Shore.
没错我在那里待过几个夏天
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I spent a couple summers there.
我当时在海岸工作
Used to work on the boardwalk.
还和朋友们去玩过飞镖射击
There was this skeet shooting place I used to go to with my buddies.
-在泽西海岸？ -在纽约北部
-Um, on the Jersey Shore? -Upstate New York. College.
拉弓
And, pull!
这个城市为什么没有飞镖？
Man, why no skeet in the city?
我爱死飞镖了
I love the skeet.
我应该在纽约市开一家俱乐部
I should open one in New York, maybe sell a club.
你上一次吃罐头玉米是什么时候？
Canned corn, when was the last time you had canned corn?
感觉很好吃你饿了吗？
That sounds good right now. You hungry?
不饿因为…
Well, no, because I...
我记得...
...remember I met...
我曾在赌城吃过塞满玉米的肉馅派
I had a pot pie in Vegas once, loaded with corn...
当雷不停地讲话时
As Ray talked,
我突然意识到他不是真的如我想的那般迷人
I realized he wasn't spontaneous and unpredictable and thrilling.
他有注意力缺失症
He was a guy with ADD.
不能谈心算什么感情？
What kind of relationship could I have with a guy I couldn't even talk to?
我必须结束它
I'd have to end it.
喜欢吃派吗？
You like pies?
雷？
Ray?
想要演奏我吗？
Wanna play me?
好
Yeah.
总有一天
Eventually.
与此同时在上城区
Meanwhile, uptown...
夏洛特给崔最后一次机会
Charlotte gave Trey one more chance
让他开口请她搬回家
to ask her to move in.
我要说了
Uh... I'm just gonna say it.
下次我勃起时
Next time I'm hard,
能不能请你帮我量尺寸？
would you consider measuring my John Thomas?
什么？不要
What? No!
我知道这样很幼稚
I understand, it's juvenile, I know.
只是我从没见过它这样
But I've just never seen it like this.
我去洗澡
I'm taking a shower.
夏洛特向来都不那么重视老二
Charlotte was never a woman who cared much about penises,
现在老二却主宰着她的生活
and now a penis was running her life.
算了
Forget it.
就在洗澡的同时
As Charlotte lathered up,
夏洛特开始激动起来
she really started to get lathered up.
他以为他是谁？
Who did he think he was?
他们可是结发夫妻
He was her husband, and she was his wife.
她为什么要忍♥受这样的噩梦？
What the hell was going on in this Upper East Side nightmare?
我受够嫁给你的老二了
I'm tired of being married to your penis!
我是个人
I am a person
这应该是段感情
and this is supposed to be a relationship!
我不要再这样小心翼翼了
And I am done walking on eggshells!
不要在它面前谈搬回来的事
"Oh, don't talk about moving in in front of the penis
它可能会软掉
'cause it might go soft.
它喜欢这样不喜欢那样
The penis likes this and the penis doesn't like that!
现在它又想要量尺寸
And the penis wants to be measured!"
-我只是想想而已 -不如这样吧
-It was just a thought. -Well, here's another thought!
把我们的婚姻丢掉吧
You can shove this marriage up your ass!
夏洛特不要走
Charlotte, don't go.
不我要回到我租的公♥寓♥
No, I'm going home to my own apartment where I have a lease.
祝你和你的老二有个愉快的夜晚
I hope that you and your penis have a very lovely night!
与此同时米兰达开始厌倦自己了
Meanwhile, Miranda was getting fed up as well...with herself.
你好是我请留言
Hi, it's me, leave a message.
我知道你可能忙着
I know you're probably busy
享受兴奋至极的性♥爱♥
having mind-blowing sex right now,
但我觉得你有必要知道
but I feel that you need to know
你的好朋友米兰达霍布斯
your good friend, Miranda Hobbes,
刚才从垃圾桶里捡蛋糕来吃
has just taken a piece of cake out of the garbage and eaten it.
等你到医院看我的时候
You'll probably need this information
才不会觉得奇怪
when you check me into the "Betty Crocker Clinic."
当晚米兰达领悟到
That night, Miranda realized
巧克力只是性的替代品
she'd been using chocolate as a substitute for sex,
她现在需要巧克力的替代品
and now she needed a substitute for chocolate.
罢♥工♥正式结束了
The strike was officially over.
太棒了
That's perfect!
正当她以为她对女人了若指掌
And just when she thought she knew everything there was to know about women...
莎曼珊遭遇了前所未有的经验
...Samantha caused the very elusive female ejaculation.
这是好是坏？
Was that good or bad?
好的不得了
That was very good.
莎曼珊同时拥有感情和性
Samantha got the relationship and the sex.
甚至比她预期的要多一点
In fact, a little more sex than she'd expected.
我想喝水
I want some water.
你呢？我马上回来
You want some water? Be right back.
隔天早上我有了新的想法
The next morning, I woke up with a new thought.
或许雷就像爵士乐
Maybe Ray was like jazz
与其试着改变他
and instead of trying to make him be something else,
不如试着欣赏他以及他...
I needed to let go, and appreciate him for what he was...
令人神魂颠倒的性
truly mind-blowing sex.
雷？
Ray?
不幸的是
But unfortunately,
他对我的兴趣
I got the feeling Ray had stopped playing me
已经转移到其他乐器身上
and moved on to another instrument.
早安女士