实习医生风云（2001）
Scrubs S08E10
Part 2
Dec. 16, 2020, 1:24 p.m.
我觉得你该把那根毛给我
because I've been scrapbooking the most disgusting things
因为我正在做一本我所能想到的最恶心
that I can think of, and I want to put it on the page
事物的剪贴簿 我想把它放在
in between my decayed molars and my snug,
蛀牙和蜗涕虫两页之间
which is a snail-slug hybrid
蜗涕虫是一个我在车♥库♥里
that I was able to splice together in my garage unsuccessfully.
让蜗牛和鼻涕虫连接在一起失败的混合产物
We didn't see each other yesterday.
我们昨天没见过面啊
Well, that was unexpected.
好吧 这招我没想到
Thank you.
谢谢
Okay, Brianna, your chest x-ray looks good.
好的 Brianna 你的胸部X光看上去没问题
We should be able to get you home tomorrow.
我们明天就能放你回家了
I'm just gonna go talk to your mom
我只是还需要找你妈妈
about some changes in your medication.
谈谈用药剂量调整的问题
Aren't moms the greatest?
妈妈们都是最棒的吧
My mom bought me these scrubs last week, just because.
我妈上周给我买♥♥了这身手术衣 就因为她乐意
Oh! And this morning, I found this little note.
噢 然后今早 我发现了这张小纸条
It says, "You're super special."
上面写着 "你是独一无二的"
If that's what moms do, I'm glad I never met mine.
要是当妈的就干这个 真庆幸我从没见过我妈
"Look at me, I'm dark and edgy."
"快看我啊 我阴郁又易怒"
I love my mom, but I wish she would ease up a little.
我爱我妈 但我希望她能放松点
I mean, I know I'm sick, but not all the time,
我知道我病了 但又不是一直病着
and she still never lets me leave the house.
可她还是一直都不让我出门
You know, I've never had a date.
知道么 我从来没约会过
It's like she's so freaked out about me dying
好像她如此惶恐我就要死去
that she won't let me have a life.
都不肯让我拥有自己的生活
She doesn't want your stupid note. You don't know that.
她不想要你那傻纸条 那可不一定
Do I know you? I'm a friend.
我认识你吗 我是个朋友
What is Jimmy the overly-touchy orderly doing here?
那个过度上下其手的护工Jimmy在这干嘛
Dude, he does amazing impressions. He's a ringer.
哥们儿 他"笑果"超强的 演谁都灵
We can put him in any bit that's not working.
我们可以把他加到任何不好笑的段子里
Like the Dr. Wen sketch.
比如Wen医生的那个段子
It's almost show time. Let's work out some of the kinks.
表演就要开始了 我们理清一下思路吧
You guys doing the Dr. Cox sketch, make sure you
你们表演Cox医生的段子 一定要确保
Really stretch out all your words, okay?
充分延伸开自己的台词 好吗
And under no circumstances are you to tell him
并且任何情况下都不许告诉他
that I wrote the joke implying he may have a sports car
影射他也许是因为鸡鸡太小而买♥♥了
because he has a small penis.
辆跑车的段子是我写的
Unless he finds it hilarious,
除非他觉得极其好笑
at which point you will break character
那时你们就可以停下来说
and say, "John Dorian wrote that joke."
"John Dorian编的段子"
I will then stand, give a humble nod, like so,
我会起身 谦逊地点下头 像这样
and then gesture for you to continue.
然后给你们比个继续的手势
Meghan, you're playing Carla. That's my wife.
Meghan 你扮演Carla 那是我老婆
Please show some respect. Kathy, you're playing Elliot.
请放尊重点 Kathy 你扮演Elliot
So I wanna see some bug-eyes, all right? And... Perfect!
我需要一些快瞪出来的眼球 好吗 完美
Plus, find some cardboard,
另外 找块硬纸板来
stick it down the back of your pants, right?
直接塞到你的裤子后面去 懂没
Make that ass flat, girl. Let me see what you got right now.
让那屁♥股♥平到家 妹子 我看看你现在什么样
Yeah, we could go flatter. We can go flatter.
嗯 可以再平点儿 可以再平点儿
We can go flatter. You know, I've chewed on that thing
可以的 要知道 我可是在上面啃过的
and it's flatter than dayold beer. I gotta tell you.
(味道)简直是比开了一天的啤酒还要平 哥们儿你神了
You know what? I made a funny. Turk, rewrite.
听见没 我又抖了个包袱 Turk 改一下
I am already on it.
改着呢
Katie, dynamite Beardface costume.
Katie 你这身大胡子道具服简直帅爆了
I can't see anything in this. Performers find a way, Katie.
我在里面什么也看不见 表演者在黑暗中求生存 Katie
Use your other senses. Where are Sunny and Denise?
用你的其他感官吧 Sunny和Denise呢
Well, you know, they're supposed to be...
你知道的 她们应该
No, thank you. Cool.
不用了 谢谢你 真棒
They're supposed to be playing us,
她们应该扮演咱俩的
but they haven't picked up their scripts or anything.
但是她们连剧本都没领呢
Hey, Dr. Reid, can we talk to you about Brianna?
嘿 Reid医生 我们可以和你聊聊Brianna吗
Her mom is being way too over-protective.
她妈妈对她太过于保护了
Unfortunately, my lady, I saw what I saw.
不幸的是 女士 我看见就是看见了
You either plucked a giant hair, or you have mini chest snakes.
你要不是拔掉了一根巨大胸毛 就是你有迷你胸蛇
Maybe you're just imagining things.
也许是你自己瞎想像呢
Like that time you thought you
就像那次你以为自己
built a giant sand castle in the parking lot.
在停车场建了个巨大沙堡
Or the time you said you hung J.D. Up like a flag,
或者是那次你说你把J.D.当成一面旗给挂起来了
totally defying the laws of physics.
完全违背物理学定理啊
I did those things. Did you?
我真的做过这些事 是吗
At least I thought I... Head games aren't gonna work on me.
至少我觉得我 心理战术对我没用
Unfortunately for you, I have a photographic memory.
对你来说不幸的是 我有着精准的记忆力
For instance, I arrived here yesterday at 7:45 A.M.
举例说明 我昨天早上7点45分到了这里
At 7:"50 A.M., I took a nap.
在7点50分的时候 我睡个了小觉
At 2:45 P.M., I awoke to find you
下午2点45分 我睡醒睁眼看见你
plucking a comically large hair off of your baby-feeder.
正从你的天然哺乳器上拔一根长到滑稽的胸毛
I then took my afternoon nap,
接着我又睡了下午觉
then I went on break, and then I went home.
然后是休息时间 再然后就回家了
Couldn't sleep a wink. Damnedest thing.
一夜没合眼啊 真操蛋
Sad.
好悲伤啊
Stop walking away from me.
别说走就走了
And now I'm sleepy again.
现在我又困了
Brianna should totally get to live her life.
Brianna绝对理应过自己的生活
I'm gonna go talk to her mom.
我会去和她妈谈
But you guys gotta do me a favor.
但你俩必须得帮我个忙
She's really starting to get in my head
对于整个我和她是同龄人这件事
with this whole we're-the-same-age thing.
真的开始影响到我了
So I'm just gonna start throwing out numbers
所以现在我开始说数字
and you guys stop me whenever I get to the age
你俩觉得我看上去是这个年龄
you think I look like. Okay?
的时候就喊停 好吗
22, 23, 24, 25, 25, 25...
22 23 24 25 25 25
You know what? This is a really stupid game, okay?
算了 这游戏有够傻♥逼♥的
Aren't you guys late for some sketch show?
你们那个什么表演快迟到了吧
Crap.
该死
Idiots.
俩蠢货
Isn't this fun, running together?
这样是不是很有趣 奔跑在一起
Shut up, Sunny. Okay.
闭嘴吧 Sunny 好吧
Oh, my God, I'm so nervous. Welcome to live theater.
噢 天呐 我紧张死了 欢迎来到直播剧场
I'm Bob Kelso.
我是Bob Kelso
And my life is so empty that I still come here every day
我的生活实在太空虚了 所以我仍然每天都来医院
to stuff my face with muffins.
狂吃玛芬蛋糕
And I like prostitutes.
另外 我喜欢妓♥女♥
That's funny 'cause it's true.
真好笑啊 都是大实话
Hey, I'm The Todd. Wow.
嘿 我就是Todd了 哇喔
Looks like we got a full house. I got a full house in my pants.
看来今天高朋满座啊 我裤子里也是一样"高"哦
Hello. I'm Dr. Beardface.
你们好啊 我是大胡子医生
I was up all night sewing.
我为了缝这个一宿没合眼
My beard is only this big.
我的胡子只有这么大
Lighten up, Seymour. I took my lumps.
想开点儿吧 Seymour 我自己这口气都咽下了
Okay, one last chance to admit the truth before this gets ugly.
好了 事情变得难堪之前再给你最后一次承认事实的机会
Did I see the nipple hair or not? You did not.
我到底有没有看到乳毛 你没有
Beardface!
大胡子
And so it begins.
好戏开场喽
Hi, I'm Dr. Wen, and it's
嗨 我是Wen医生 很荣幸
an honor to have you as a patient, Owen Wilson.
可以成为你的医生 Owen Wilson
Oh! Come on, Doc. What about patient-doctor privacy?
噢 少来了 医生 医患保密协议怎么办
How's that supposed to make me feel?
你这让我作何感受
Mr. Jack Black. Thanks, buddy.
Jack Black先生 谢了 老兄
Sacred Heart!
圣心医院
Mr. Brad Pitt. Thank you, Dr. Wen.
Brad Pitt先生 谢谢你 Wen医生
I do have to say it's very hard covering the medical bill
不得不说 养14个孩子 付医药费可
when you have 14 children.
真不是件容易事
You know, people are always asking me,
知道么 人们总是问我
"Hey, hey, Dane Cook. Hey, Dane Cook."
"嘿 嘿 Dane Cook 嘿 Dane Cook"
Yeah, they use my full name.
没错 他们叫我全名
Hey, what's the deal with tongue depressors?
嘿 你那压舌板是要干嘛
Is it supposed to make your tongue sad or something?
是想让你的舌头变得压抑吗
Like, taste it... This muffin tastes sad.
就好像 尝尝 这小蛋糕尝起来真忧伤
Why do people find me funny?
人们为什么会觉得我幽默呢
Dude, we gave them too much Jimmy.
哥们儿 咱给Jimmy安排的戏份太多了
Off the stage, Jimmy! Okay, Jimmy. Yay!
实习医生风云（2001）
Scrubs
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