重造历史（2017）

简直就是屠♥杀♥神器啊
It's a mass-killing machine!
也许想要拥有一支枪和购买♥♥一支枪
Well, perhaps between wanting a gun and purchasing a gun
这中间有一段
there could be some...
等待的时间
period of waiting.
我不想抢走他们的枪
I don't want to take their guns!
但他们拥有的枪♥支♥太多了 让我感觉都得收走
But having so many makes me feel like I need to take them away!
但我怎么能确定你不是煽动暴♥乱♥的敌军呢
But how can I be certain you are not colonial rabble-rousers?
你说的不是英式英语
You don't speak the King's English.
那是因为我们太沉迷于当卧底
That's because we're so deep undercover,
忘记了原本的口音
we've forgotten our accents.
但我只知道一件事
The only thing I do know,
我就是杀人机器
I'm a human weapon.
长官 虽然我此刻插语有些冒昧...
Sir, I know I'm speaking out of turn, but...
但我的直觉告诉我 克里斯这小伙可信
my gut tells me this Chris chap is on the level.
但是 戴维
But, Davey,
你向来疑心很重
you're a natural skeptic.
我知道啊 但我感觉他靠谱
I know, sir. But I've got a good feeling about him.
我会用自己的声誉做担♥保♥ 克里斯说的是实话
I'd wager my entire reputation on Chris' good word.
我从没见过戴维这么信任一个人
I've never heard Davey say that about anyone before.
就是...
Just...
他们俩之间撞出基情的小火花了
They've made quite a connection.
好吧
Very well.
明天一早 我们就出发去莱克星顿
Tomorrow morning, we will march on Lexington,
收缴他们的枪♥支♥
and we shall secure their guns!
大人 我们能终中午时分过去吗
My liege, is there any way we could march around noon,
不要这么早 行吗
so it's not super early?
必须要早点去
It's going to be early.
早得他们没有防备
Super early.
英国人来了
The British are coming!
历史上是其父亲骑着马通知大家
英国人来了
The British are coming!
他们要来抢你们的枪了
And they want to take your guns!
英国人来了
The British are coming!
英国人来了
The British are coming!
他们要来抢你们的枪了
And they want to take your guns!
如果保罗这么说 肯定是真的
If Paul says it, then it must be true.
我们要为枪而战
We will defend our guns!
英国人来了
The British are coming!
保罗瘦了不少啊
Paul lost a lot of weight.
人家现在感觉自己是个肥仔了
Now, I feel fat.
我去储藏室了
I'll be in the larder.
好了 克里斯
All right, Chris,
你最喜欢乔叟哪首诗
what's your favorite bit of Chaucer?
英国第一位诗人
《米勒传奇》
The Miller's Tale.
哎呀呀 人家也是呢
Oh, my God, mine too!
你也读过吗
Oh, you've read it as well?
没有
I have not.
好吧
All right.
戴维 谢谢你刚才帮我们做担♥保♥
Hey, Davey, thank you for backing us up in there.
不客气 我一看你就是个好人
Oh, no problem. I could tell you were a good bloke.
所以我才没敲晕你
That's why I didn't knock you out.
但这个人不像
But this one.
你那是乍一看 你这回再仔细看看
Try it again. Seriously, try it again while I'm looking.
谢了
Thanks, uh...
我一直在想办法让他消停会儿
I've been looking for a way to quiet him down.
我没晕 打脸了吧
Nice try.
但我的医生跟我说 我再不能脑震荡了
But my doctor told me I actually can't get any more concussions.
他意思是你不要再让自己脑震荡了
Yeah, he probably meant that you shouldn't,
而不是不会再脑震荡了
not that it's impossible.
给我最喜欢的间谍来点茶
Tea? For my favorite spy.
太谢谢了
But of course.
等下 你也是先加奶吗
Wait, do you take your tea milk first, as well?
必须的 这能使...
Oh, yeah, absolutely. It helps get the...
温度刚刚好
Temperature right.
这是跟我实力争宠啊
What the hell is happening?
我们刚才这是干啥啊
What? What did we just do?
这叫「击掌」
It's called a high-five.
我喜欢
I love it!
敬先加奶的汉子们
Here's to the milk first boys.
永远都是好兄弟
Now and forever.
我去 阿呆遇上阿瓜了
Oh, my God, a couple of dorks.
亲爱的 你看起来气色不好
My love, you look ill.
你被人折磨了吗
Were you tortured?
是啊 他们让我们起了个大早
Yes. They made us wake up super early.
各位 这太不可思议了
You guys, this is incredible.
莱克星顿战役
The Battle of Lexington,
美国成立的一刻
the moment America was born.
如果这是场战役 为什么没人开枪
If this is a battle, why is no one shooting?
你永远别想抢走我们的枪
You'll never take our guns!
你需要那么多枪干什么
Why do you need so many guns?
因为要阻止你们抢我们的枪啊
Because we need to stop you from taking them!
要不是你们的枪♥支♥太多 我们也没想收走
We weren't planning on taking them until you had too many!
那我们有枪就对了
Then we were correct to have them!
先生们 别争了
Gentlemen, stop.
肯定有合理的解决办法
There's got to be a reasonable solution to this.
也许枪♥支♥管制方面可以出♥台♥折衷的条例
Perhaps gun regulation could be some sort of compromise. I--
他戴的假发不俗啊
He is wearing an excellent wig.
别添乱了 戴维 让历史发生吧
Come on, Davey. Let history happen.
谁是戴维
Who is Davey?
一个插足我和克里斯的「小三」
The guy that's tearing Chris and I apart.
比如 如果一个人脑子不好使
For instance, if a person is daffy in the head,
就不该准许他们买♥♥枪
maybe they shouldn't be allowed to procure a gun.
我们不想在「枪宝宝们」面前讨论这事
I don't want to have this conversation in front of the guns!
我们找个没枪的地方再谈吧
Yes, let's adjourn somewhere away from the guns.
我不得不出手了
I know what I have to do.
我要打响这第一枪了
I have to fire the shot heard round the world.
-让我来吧 -啥
- Oh, let me do it. - u202dWhat?
-我想开 -别抢了 你没资格啊
- I want to do it. - Stop, you don't deserve this.
我都没干出点惊天地泣鬼神的事呢
I haven't done anything yet.
-我太无聊了 -你太不懂事了
- I'm kind of bored. - You're being an infant, man.
-才不是 我想干点大事 -别抢了
- I'm not. I haven't gotten to do anything! - Stop!
他们开枪了
They're firing their guns!
他们想用枪来抢走我们的枪
They're trying to take our guns with their guns!
三二一
Three, two, one,
开火
Fire!
-我做到了 -我做到了
- I did it. - I did it.
-不 我♥干♥的 --不 我♥干♥的
- No, I did it. - No, I did it.
你是不是没有脑回路 我开的枪
No, are you kidding me? I did it.
显然是我开的
Clearly, I did it.
-我开了一把火枪啊 -我刚改变了历史...
- I fired a musket. - I just changed history by...
黛博拉 你看到了 你说谁开的枪吧
Deborah, you were here. Who shot it?
克里斯
Chris.
准备 开火
Present! Fire!
开火 开火
Fire! Fire!
开火
Fire!
好了 革命开始了 美国成立了
Okay, the Revolution's started. America's been born.
此时不溜 更待何时
Now feels like as good a time as any to bail.
等下 形势不对啊 英国人占上风了
Hold on, this isn't right. The British are winning.
开火
Fire!
我将同胞们引来这里送死了
So I led my people here to die.
绝对不是这样
No, absolutely not.
-这百分之百都是克里斯的错 -不
- This is Chris's fault, 100%. - No.
这些人命都算在他头上
Their lives are on his head.
我要去帮他们 战死也在所不惜
Well, I have to help them or die trying!
等下 小黛
Wait, wait, Deb.
我有主意了
I have an idea.
你吗
You do?
嗯
Yeah.
那间谷仓里有枪吧
So, in that barn are the weapons, right?
-炸♥药♥和枪♥支♥吧 -对
- Explosives and guns? - Yeah.