重造历史（2017）

But once that dream became a reality,
我意识到每天干的活就是刮桌下 地上的口香糖
I realized it was mostly scraping gum off stuff.
但你看到孩子脸上快乐的表情 不感觉都值了吗
But isn't it all worth it when you see the joy in a child's face?
老实说 我想卖♥♥了这家店 当个邮递员
Honestly, I'd like to sell this place and become a mailman.
真是太可惜了
Now, that's a shame.
你要是能瞧见我在这里品尝的幸福滋味就好了
I wish you could see what I taste in this place.
等下 你喜欢巧克力
Hang on. You like chocolate?
尝尝这个
Try this.
这是「石板街冰激凌」
This is Rocky Road.
我走过很多石板街
I have traveled many a rocky road,
但没有一条街有这么美味啊
but none have been this delicious.
-我开玩笑啦 -想到了
- That was humor. - Yeah, I figured.
我不会去吃真的街道啦
I'd never taste an actual road.
除非是遇到饥荒
Unless there was a famine.
NBA嘉年华 一天遇到两件好事啊
NBA Jam? Two miracles in one day.
大灌篮喽
Boomshakalaka.
下一个轮到我啦
Got next.
想得美 我还有两卷硬币呢
No, you don't. I have two rolls of quarters.
-接下来二十场游戏都归我 -这不公平
- I have the next 20 games. - Yo, that's not fair.
「这不公平」
"That's not fair."
九十年代 有部喜剧叫《凡人琐事》 剧中有个人气很高的丑角叫「乌克尔」
造型跟克里斯很像
-吊带裤挺拉风啊 「乌克尔」 -「乌克尔」
- Nice overalls, Urkel. - Urkel?
「乌克尔」
Urkel?!
「乌克尔 乌克尔」
"Urkel? Urkel?"
模仿剧中台词
「是我做的吗」
"Did I do that?"
你向你的鬼魂父亲证明自己了吗
Have you proven yourself to the ghost of your father yet?
没有
No.
「消化」阶段进展不顺
And The Settle is not going great.
九十年的小痞子真令人蛋疼
There is some real '90s garbage in this place.
我刚才可是救了一个女人一命
I just saved a woman's life.
放尊重点吧
Show some respect.
天啊 我认识那个小孩
My God. I know that kid.
那是凯文·克劳利
That's Kevin Crowley.
你认识那个年轻的小伙子吗
You know that young adult?
他以前上初中时总欺负我
He used to bully me in junior high.
我被他欺负得太惨了 不得不假装自己有学习障碍
It got so bad that I had to pretend I have a learning disability
好让自己跟他上不同的高中
to make sure we ended up at different high schools.
真糟心啊 我真替你难过
That's really tough, man. I'm sorry.
最奇怪的是 我们之前还是好朋友
And the weirdest thing was that we were actually friends.
结果有一天 毫无缘由地
And then one day, out of the blue,
他就开始揍我了
he showed up and started waling on me.
你没做什么事惹毛他吗
You didn't do anything to deserve it?
没有 我什么都没做
No. I-I did nothing.
我们还是朋友时 我还挺吃得开
And when we were friends, I was actually kind of cool.
我就是班上的「马特·达蒙」
I was basically the Matt Damon of my junior high class.
而被欺负以后
And after the bullying,
我差不多就是「马文·达蒙」了
I was pretty much just the Marv Damon.
他是我们当地的议员
My local congressman
因为在图书馆打飞机被抓走了
who got arrested for masturbating in a library.
对着书自♥慰♥吗
To a book?
当时最令人不解的是
And the weirdest thing about the whole situation was that,
他揍我的时候
while he was beating me up,
有几个大人就站在那里
there was a bunch of adults just standing there,
看着我被揍 无动于衷
watching, doing nothing.
我不会坐视不理
Well, I'm not gonna do nothin'.
你打算干什么
What are you gonna do?
-想个招 -什么招
- Something. u202d- Yeah, but what?
什么事
Yeah?
没想到我会再见到你
Never thought I'd see you again.
你是谁
Who are you?
二十年前被你欺负的人
Someone you bullied 20 years ago.
我只有十二岁
I'm only 12. u202d
我来这里为了战胜我父亲带给我的心魔
I came here looking for some dad-sized demons to conquer.
结果突然间 我看到了一个小恶魔
And all of a sudden, I ran into a little turd demon.
你确定你没找错人吗
You sure you have the right person?
没有 虽然你欺负过我
Yeah. You may have bullied me,
但你别想再欺负我的好朋友 克里斯
but you're not gonna bully my friend Chris.
「你欺负了我」「模仿角色语气」"You bullied me."
好了 「乌克尔」
Okay, Urkel.
「乌克尔」
Urkel?
「乌克尔 乌克尔」
"Urkel? Urkel?"
到屁♥眼♥了
It settled.
你让冰淇淋「消化」到屁♥眼♥了
You made the ice cream settle.
天呐
My God.
谢谢你
Thank you.
现在该我处理一些事了
And now it's my time to settle something.
算旧账
The score.
这一脚是替丹·钱伯斯踢的
This is for Dan Chambers.
你们都看见是这个小子先踢我的吧
You guys all saw that kid hit me first, right?!
所以我才踹了他的小鸡鸡
That's why I had to kick him in the penis.
好吧 死去的老爸 瞧瞧谁才是废柴吧
All right, dead Dad, let's see who the failure is now.
我做到了
I did it!
还没吃完
That's not done.
-啥 -还没吃完
- What? - That is not done.
饼干碗也是其中一部分
Cookie bowl is part of it.
饼干碗也是其中一部分
Cookie bowl is part of it.
我做不到 我不行了
I can't do it. I can't do it.
我爸说得对
My dad was right.
我就是个废柴 一事无成
I'm a loser and a failure
一只小肥猪
and a fat pig.
我是个肥猪 还吃不完所有冰淇淋
And I'm even a failure at being a fat pig,
我感觉自己更没用
because I didn't eat all the ice cream.
不是那样的
No, no.
有我在 你不会输
You are not going to fail on my watch,
你个小肥猪
you fat pig.
我爱你 谢谢你安慰我
I love you. Thank you for that.
你拿下了那个欺负你的恶霸
You busted that bully,
是时候撑开肚皮拿下「巨无霸」了 猛♥男♥
and now it's time to bust that belly, buster.
谢谢你们这么相信我
Thank you, guys, for believing in me.
我来了
Here I go.
我做到了
I did it.
太棒了
Yeah!
你去「死」吧 老爸
Screw you, Dad!
我做到了
I did it.
好了 查德威克夫人
All right, Mrs. Chadwick,
-赐予我衬衫吧 -你干什么呢
- T-shirt me. - What are you doing?
你什么意思 我吃完了「巨无霸」冰淇淋
What do you mean? I finished the Belly Buster.
不给我衬衫吗
Don't I get a T-shirt?
我这里好像有一件
I might have one back here.
能快点吗 我有点冷
Could you check on it quick? I'm kind of cold.
还刚吃完那么多冰淇淋
I'm also, like, filled with a bunch of cold.
还有一件
I have one left.
-太好了 -这件衬衫的主人应该是她
- Great. - And the only person here who deserves it is her.
小女子何德何能 获如此殊荣
I... What did I do to deserve such an honor?
你对冰淇淋童真般的喜爱
Your infantile love of ice cream
让我意识到 这里不仅仅是做生意
made me realize that this is not just a place of business.
这是充满欢乐的地方
This is a place of joy.
我名字就是乐乐
My first name is Joy.
我好喜欢这个名字
I love that name.
这太棒了
That's wonderful.
这么说你不打算关掉「查德威克家」了吗
So you're not thinking of closing Chadwick's anymore?
不关了 我其实想再雇一名员工
No. I'm actually thinking of hiring one more employee.
你想在这里工作吗
Do you have any desire to work here?
想 我太想了
Yes! Yes, I would love to.
-我想啊 -不不不
- I would love to. - No, no, no.
她不行
She actually can't.
我们从城外过来的
We're from out of town,
而我们的车都坏了
and all of our cars are broken.
嗯 我...
Yes. I-I...
我不行 我忘了 我不行
I can't. I forgot. I can't.
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