重造历史（2017）

到了那边 你还是和现在一样年纪
you will be the same age you are now when we get there.
这归她们考虑 不关我事
Well, that's their problem, not mine.
亲亲 亲亲 亲亲
Kissy, kissy, kissy.
是这样 启动时光机
You know, we actually don't have to be touching
-不需要有肢体接触 -我只是太激动了
- in order for this to work. - I-I'm just so excited.
1945年那会儿 人们吻技要好多了
People used to kiss better in 1945.
没那么多舌头的互怼
Less tongue.
干吻怎么就不流行了呢
Whatever happened to dry pecking?
这是什...
What is the...
我的心脏
My heart!
科贝尔博士
Dr. Cobell...
我理解你第一次坐时光机
I know you're new to the bag,
但麻烦闭嘴
but please shut up.
科贝尔博士
Dr. Cobell?
停止运行
Stop the bag!
我的妈呀 妈呀 他死了
My God... My God, he's dead!
克里斯的导师兼偶像死了 他死了
Chris' mentor and idol is dead-- he's dead
还穿着套小水手服
and he's in a tiny sailor suit,
这都是我的错 丹 快想想
and it's all my fault. Dan, focus!
如果克里斯在这儿 他会让我怎么做
What would Chris be yelling at me to do if he was here?
回到过去
Travel back in time
阻止科贝尔进入时光机
and stop Cobell from getting in the bag.
科贝尔博士 我等一下会过来
Dr. Cobell, I am about to come in here
乞求您和我一起时光旅行
and beg you to time-travel with me.
不管你有多想 都克制一下 不然...
Whatever you do, do not, or...
还有这种操作
You got to be kidding me.
科贝尔博士 离我远点 否则这就是下场
Dr. Cobell. Hey, stay away from me, or this will be you.
我靠
Come on!
一具尸体已经够多了
This bag is already heavy.
别归西
Don't die!
这锅算我的
That one's on me.
科贝尔博士 请您看下这份便签
Dr. Cobell, please read this note.
上面解释了一切
It will explain everything.
-看来这就是命啊 -啥
- It would appear this is my destiny. - What?
不要啊
No!
五金家具
我记得这个味道
I know this smell.
空房♥子
Spare house?
谁有空房♥子吗
Does anyone have a spare house?
有人有空房♥子吗
Does anyone have a spare house?
塞缪尔·亚当斯 是你吗
Samuel Adams, is that you?
你看起来像是快死了
You look like you're on the brink of death.
黛博拉·列维尔
Deborah Revere.
你擅自一人出来在这儿瞎逛悠什么呢
What are you doing wandering around without permission?
丹呢
Where's Dan?
我可以自己做主
I don't need permission.
你听听 她说她可以自己做主
She doesn't need permission.
你再这么怼我 我就走了
If you're going to scoff at me, I'll just leave.
别别别 别走呀
No, no, no, no, no, no.
小黛 黛黛 小黛黛
Deb, Deb, Deb, Deb, Deb,
对不起
I'm sorry.
黛博拉 你也知道我一饿 就嘴贱
Deborah, you know I say crazy stuff when I'm hungry.
说出你的故事吧
What's befallen you?
我去了个酒吧
So, I was in the pub,
只是想站上吧台秀下舞技
and I just want to get up on the bar and dance a little,
但遭到了单身女郎聚会方的拒绝
but... a bachelorette party objected.
于是呢 我们就打了起来
Naturally, a fight ensues,
打得我丢盔弃甲 伤痕累累
and I end up sustaining some serious wounds.
那他们没给你脏抹布威士忌什么的
Did they give you a dirty rag and a bottle of whiskey
-让你清理一下自己吗 -没
- to clean yourself? - No.
但因为有个叫「奥巴马医保」的东西
Because of something called Obama's Care,
他们倒的确送我去了医院
they did send me to a hospital.
结果我缝了几针 还查出了坏血病
Turns out I need stitches and I have scurvy.
这个时代的人们痴迷于柑橘类的水果
People in this time are obsessed with citrus!
为此我欠了一屁♥股♥债
So, I get hit with this huge bill,
之后我就一直睡着大街 风餐露宿
and I've been living that street life ever since.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
切食物啊
Cutting my food.
所以你用那小小的三叉戟叉住食物
So you pin the food with your little trident
以便你更快地切食物
to make your tiny sword strokes more effective.
小黛
Deb.
妙不可言啊
That's brilliant!
我觉得你把这看得太简单了
I think you're oversimplifying it a bit,
但大体来说 没错
but... basically, yes.
你在嘬管子
Tube sipping?
小黛 你真是个博学的女人
Deb! You truly are a learned woman.
你若倾囊相授 我必感激不尽
I would be grateful if you would teach me everything you know.
我可以教你 但我得找到汉考克
I will. But I need to find Hancock.
他的气味到坎布里奇之后就消失了
I lost his scent back in Cambridge.
我知道
I know.
他现在开始洗澡了
He's bathing now.
再给我看下你怎么嘬管子的
Show me the tube sipping again.
我没有管子
I don't have one.
很好 准备好了吗
Okay, are you ready?
慢慢来
Take a second.
让你的眼睛适应下
Let your eyes adjust.
我能看见了
I can see.
我能看见了
I can see.
谢天谢地
Thank God.
谢谢你
Thank you.
别 别 想都别想
No, no. None of that.
抛 我从没见过这么熊的市
Sell! I've never seen a worse market!
马库斯 是我 约翰 买♥♥
Marcus, it's the J-man. Buy.
不 现在是最好的时候了
No, there's never been a better time.
好的
All right.
这就是我一整天的工作
So, this is what I do all day,
玩划船机时 我再顺带吸点可♥卡♥因♥
and I snort cocaine off my rowing machine.
这就是我现在的生活了
That's my life.
你怎么会这么快就坐进这么奢华的办公室
How did you end up in such a lavish office so quickly?
当萨姆在酒吧出尽洋相的时候
Well, while Sam was making an ass of himself at the bar,
我遇到了一位穿着哈佛毛衣的绅士
I espied a gentleman wearing a Harvard sweater.
他就那么一个人坐着 穿着件哈佛的毛衣
He just sat by himself and wore a Harvard sweater?
是啊 这就是哈佛人的风格
Yes. That's what people who went to Harvard do.
总之呢 我们聊了起来
Anyway, we got to talkin',
结果发现 我们都是带过绿帽子的人
come to find out we're both class of '63.
当然不同世纪的版本了
Different centuries, of course.
他给了我这份工作和一点可♥卡♥因♥
He gave me this job and some cocaine,
现在我富得流油
and now I'm rich.
这就是美国梦
It's the American dream.
可是你抛弃了你的朋友
But you abandoned your friend.
不 我没有 我每天见他一次
No, I didn't. I see him daily.
他和他的土豪朋友每天来看我
He and his banker friends stop by
给我钱让我和其他流浪汉打架
and pay me to fight with other vagabonds.
小黛 你听说过「屁♥股♥战斗」
Deb, have you heard of bum fights?
非常有意思啊
It's marvelous fun.
他也是活该 谁让他穷呢
And he deserves it because he's poor.
住口 现代社会让你彻底变了个人
Stop! Modern society has changed you so much.
挺好 我喜欢这个2.0版本的我
Good. I love the new me.
约翰逊·汉莫考克 为您服务
Jonathan Hammercock at your service.
约翰·汉考克
经纪人
我要是能回到以前就好了
I wish I could go back to the old me.
现代世界毁了我
This modern world has torn me apart.
-你个没出息的窝囊废 -看看他
- You broke garbage. - Look at him.
他两天前 还是你最好的朋友
He was your best friend in the world just two days ago.
你该帮他
You should be helping him.
帮他 凭什么
Help him? Why?
他都没帮过我
He's done nothing to help me.
你这个要求根本不合理
You're not making a rational argument!
我只讲情义 不论常理
No, I'm making an emotional one.
-情义 -现代社会
- Emotions? - In modern times,
大家的感受才是重中之重