重造历史（2017）

Big Sammy is here to help,
但你得接受帮助
but you have to take it!
接受帮助
u202dTake the help!
接受帮助
Take the help!
好吧 我
Okay! I... the...
你都这么... 吼我了
now that you're... yelling at me,
我承认我童年的确历了一些创伤
there was something that happened to me in my childhood
至今没能解开这个结
that I guess I never got over. u202d
-精神创伤吧 -嗯 精神创伤
- Something traumatic? - Yes, something traumatic.
丹尼尔 如果你不克服这个障碍
Daniel, if you do not overcome this obstacle,
我敢保证
I can promise you...
你永永远远也做不成大事
you will never accomplish anything of note, ever!
你是说我得先治愈过去的伤痛
So you're saying I need to fix my past...
我才会在事业上大展宏图
before my business can have a future.
什么
What?
-什么 我说啥... -对
- What? Was that... - u202dYeah.
-对吧 -对
- Yeah. - u202dYeah.
-对吗 -对 当然
- Right? - Yeah, sure.
我决定好了
Well, I've made a decision.
我的决定是 我回到过去解开个人心结之前
And that is that I can't make a decision until I get back
我不能做出任何决定
to the past and fix what's wrong in my personal life.
什么意思
What does that mean?
意思是赶紧翻出你的夏洛特黄蜂队球衣外套
That means get your Charlotte Hornets starter jacket
我们要回九十年代去了
out of storage-- we're going to the '90s.
公共电♥话♥
「查德威克家」冰淇淋店
天啊
My!
他们的牛仔外套怎么这个色
What happened to everyone's denim?
只是酸洗过了
It's just acid-washed.
他们也穿不了多久了
They won't be wearing it much longer.
你带我们来了冰淇淋店
You brought us to an ice cream place?
这可不是一般的冰淇凌店
Not just any ice cream place.
这是「查德威克家」
This is Chadwick's,
我爸就是在这里第一次骂我一无是处的
the place my father called me a failure for the first time.
-丹尼尔 我很遗憾 -我要吃完
- Daniel, I'm sorry. - But I'm gonna prove
小时候因胃容量欠缺而没吃完的「巨无霸」冰淇淋
my dead dad wrong by finishing the 40-scoop Belly Buster
把我那死去老爹的脸打得啪啪作响
that I could never finish when I had the stomach of a boy.
不不不不
No, no, no, no.
我们穿越回来不是为了让你吃冰淇淋的
We did not travel back in time so you could eat ice cream.
来自海明威同名小说《白鲸》
象征「难以征服而使人痛苦的东西」
克里斯 「巨无霸」冰淇淋就是我的「白鲸」
Chris, the Belly Buster is my white whale,
虽然我一直用这个比喻
which is an expression I use
但从不知道到底什么意思
all the time without really knowing what it means.
你用得没错
You're saying it right.
我一直想证明
I... I always wanted to prove
我能吃完一份「巨无霸」冰淇淋
that I could finish the Belly Buster,
但这家店后来就歇业了
but then Chadwick's went out of business and...
我就没机会了
I never got the chance.
你这是浪费穿越机会啊
This is a complete waste.
我就知道你会这么说
I thought you'd say that.
所以我带来了这个
Which is why I brought... this.
自从你炸了你朋友戴维之后
Now, you feel you owe the universe something
你就觉得亏欠了这世界 对吧
after you exploded your friend, Davey, right?
这事大家都有责任 好吗
Okay, we all exploded him.
枪是你开的
You fired the shot.
火是你点的
You lit the wick!
我想我们都同意 是你白白地杀了他
I think we can all agree that it was you that murdered him senselessly.
是吧 朱迪·弗莱利一小时后会被车撞死
Right? Well, Judi Forelli gets hit by a car and killed in an hour.
你去救她 然后你就不欠这世界什么了
Go save her life-- then you and the universe are even.
谢了
Thank you.
包在我身上
I'm on it.
这太令人兴奋了
This is so exciting.
-我从来没尝过冰淇淋 -什么
- I've never tried ice cream before. - u202dWhat?!
我父亲吃过一次
Well, my father had some once,
我当时也想尝一下
and I had hoped for a taste,
但他把剩下的拿去喂猪了
but he fed the remainder to the pigs instead.
自此之后 猪看我的眼神都不一样了
The pigs looked at me differently after that,
感觉猪见识的东西都比我多
as if they knew something I didn't.
猪很聪明
Pigs are very smart.
所以很多明星都养猪当宠物
That's why a lot of celebrities have them as pets.
「巨无霸」挑战分三个阶段
The Belly Buster has three stages.
第一阶段 「暴风吸食」
The stage one, the Gorge.
我会狼吞虎咽地吃满脸
I stuff ice cream into my fat face.
第二阶段 「消化」
The stage one, The Settle.
我吃掉的35勺冰淇淋要顺着肠子消化到屁♥眼♥
This is where I have 35 scoops of ice cream that need to drop
我胃里面才有空间容纳更多冰淇淋
to my butt so I can fit more of it into my tummy.
第三阶段 「完成」
Stage three: the Finish.
这是步步惊险的阶段
This is where I'm walking a tightrope
要么光荣完成 要么拉肚子
between glory and diarrhea.
-希望是光荣完成吧 -希望是吧
- Let's hope for glory, Dan. - We can hope.
但你要知道我患有乳糖不耐症「不能吃乳制品」But you should know I am lactose intolerant.
九十年代真好玩
1990's fun!
好了 「巨无霸」冰淇淋
All right, Belly Buster,
哥来征服你了
you're about to get busted.
丹尼尔 你把幸运的「希♥特♥勒♥勺子」拿来了
Daniel, you brought your lucky Hitler spoon!
「米德乐勺子」
Midler spoon.
指贝蒂·米德乐
Like Bette Midler.
贝蒂·米德乐是我家人的朋友
Bette Midler is a family friend of mine,
我偷了她的勺子
and I stole her spoon.
不不 是阿道夫·希♥特♥勒♥
No, no. Adolf Hitler.
我们一决高下吧 老爸 「暴风吸食」开始
It's me against you, Dad. Let The Gorge begin.
朱迪·弗莱利 你到底在哪儿啊
Come on, Judi Forelli, where are you?
当地女子被车撞死
她是个老师
She's a teacher.
这世界会爱死我的
The universe is gonna love me.
好了
Okay...
虽然这很令人兴奋 但我还是没尝到冰淇淋
In all this excitement, I still haven't had a chance to try ice cream.
我怕我会禁不住要去抢你嘴里的冰淇淋了
I was afraid to have my arms close to your mouth.
如果你想 你可以去柜台边上
If you want, you can go up to the counter
去免费品尝啊
and get some free samples.
他们会让我免费品尝冰淇淋吗
They'll let me taste iced creams for free?
女人骑在男人脸上 自己想象
就像那个主动提供「胡骑」的人那样吗
Like that man whose hat offered mustache rides?
是 再说一次
Yes. And again,
就别再提这件事了
please stop bringing that up.
去免费品尝吧
Now, go enjoy your samples.
我要进行「消化」阶段了
I'm gonna work on The Settle.
好
Okay.
小心
Careful, now.
天呐 那辆卡车差点杀了我
My God. That truck would have killed me.
我知道 朱迪
I know... Judi.
你怎么... 你怎么知道我叫什...
How do you... how do you know my...
你是我的守护天使吗
Are you my guardian angel?
是
Yes. u202d
我是
Yes, I am.
所有黑人都是守护天使
All black people are guardian angels.
记住这点
Remember that.
臭名昭著的辛普森杀人案凶手 却无罪释放
OJ也是吗
Even O.J.?
是的
Yeah.
妈妈咪呀
Josiah's britches!
你说这是什么口味来着
And what did you say this kind was?
巧克力
Chocolate.
他们是怎么把巧克力弄进冰淇淋的啊
How did they get the chocolate into the ice cream?
你嗑嗨了「被扔石头」吗
Are you stoned?
没有 我从来没被人扔过石头
No. No, I have never been stoned,
也没朝游街的人扔过石头 不管他们有罪无罪
nor have I stoned another person, innocent or criminal.
好吧 你不是城里人吧
Right. You're not from around here, are you?
我是大老远从城外过来的
A few towns over.
我很高兴我过来了
But I'm so glad I made the trip.
你每天来这里工作都觉得很快乐吧
You must smile every day you come to work.
我以前是
You know, I used to.
开这家店是我的梦想
Opening this place was my dream.
但梦想成为现实以后