重造历史（2017）

《制♥造♥历史》前情提要
Previously on Making History...
我们要在棒球世锦赛上下注
We are gonna bet on the World Series of baseball.
1919年的芝加哥
1919 Chicago!
你在过去待了多久
However long you're in the past,
你就错过了多久的「当下」
that's as long as you've been gone from the present.
这下肯定拿不到终身教职了
I'm not gonna get tenure now!
可能连工作都要丢掉了
I may not even have a job!
跟我的子弹打声招呼吧
Say hello to my little friend!
我们回来了 并且满载而归
We are back, and we got all this money.
《制♥造♥历史》 第一季第七集
您要见我
You wanted to see me?
快进来 孩子 坐吧
Come on in, muchacho. Take a seat.
克里斯 我们知道了
Chris. We know.
-知道什么了 -一切
- You know what? - Everything.
为何你总是缺课 行为古怪 我们都明白了
Why you've been missing work, acting so erratic. All of it.
请容我解释 我...
Let me explain. It was...
-你是个瘾君子 克里斯 -什么
- You're an addict, Chris. - What?!
我看得出来 因为我也曾是个彻头彻尾的酒鬼
u202dI can tell because I used to be one, too: full-blown alcoholic.
但我战胜了酒瘾
But I beat it.
尽管现在终日饮酒 也不会影响正常生活
Now I drink safely every day. Tons.
你对什么上瘾了 年轻人
What's got its hooks in you, son?
酒吗
Booze?
娱乐性药物 吸入后可提高性快♥感♥
广泛存在于空气清新剂或洗甲水等溶剂中
还是芳香剂
Poppers?
是不是芳香剂
Is it poppers?!
不是 不 只是...
No! No. It's...
这非常私人...
private and...
是...
It's...
-是性成瘾 -苍天啊
- It's sex addiction. - Mama.
但我向你保证
But you have my word...
我的私生活不会影响到课堂
nothing from my personal life will ever make its way into the classroom.
不仅仅是课堂的问题了 克里斯
It's more than just the classroom, Chris.
学期末之前发表几篇文章
Publish something by the end of the semester,
不然要你好看
or I'm-a light ya up.
其它事暂且按下不表
Far as all that other stuff goes...
但我们都很「饥渴」 兄弟
we all get horny, man.
兄弟 会开得怎么样 你被开了吗
Hey, buddy, how was your meeting? Did you get fired?
假如我确实被开除了
Let's say I had been fired.
你觉得你这样问我 合适吗
Do you think that's an appropriate way to ask?
我看出来你觉得不合适了
Well, I can tell you don't think so,
但我也得忠于自己啊
but I got to be true to myself on this, too.
我没被开除 但我现在如履薄冰
No, I'm not fired, but I'm on thin ice.
幸运的是 我为时空穿越想出了完美的掩饰
Luckily, I just came up with the perfect cover for time travel.
我说自己有性成瘾
I told them that I'm a sex addict.
这算什么完美的掩饰
Why is that the perfect cover?
-这样我就能继续饮酒作乐了 -机智
- 'Cause I still get to drink and do poppers. - Smart.
我们不是想用从芝加哥抢来的钱
So you know how we wanted to take our Chicago money
给小黛买♥♥下冰淇淋店吗
and buy that ice cream parlor for Deb?
我没这么想
That is not what I want.
我又想到修暖气的帅哥和性成瘾的变♥态♥教授
I was also thinking it might be a little suspicious that
拿出这么多钱买♥♥店
a heating guy and a sex addict, weirdo, creep, pervert professor
有点让人生疑
would have enough money to do something like that.
确实 并且我们亲眼目睹前店主惨死街头
Right, and we watched the previous owner get killed right in front of us.
没错 因此我想出了替我们做交易的最佳人选
Exactly. So I came up with the perfect front
他们不会引得旁人额外关注我们
that will not draw any added attention to us.
你好
Hello!
大爱啊
So much love!
约翰·汉考克和萨姆·亚当斯
John Hancock? Sam Adams?
我没搞错吧
They can't be here.
学校的管理层已经对我「特殊关注」了
I've got administrative eyes all over me.
你们怎么会如此擅长
How'd you guys get so good at this?
我们悟性好
They're highly intuitive.
要看的书有那么多
There are just so many books
可我的时间却那么少
and not enough time to read them all.
我对山地车杂♥志♥也有同感
I feel the same way about dirt bike magazines.
谢谢你和我说话
Thank you for choosing to speak to me.
我正着手开创我的冰淇淋事业
I'm starting an ice cream business,
有太多需要学习的了
and there's just so much to learn.
我懂 我卖♥♥卵子时 也是有无尽的表格要填
I hear ya. When I sold my eggs, there were so many forms to fill out.
我是黛博拉·列维尔
I'm Deborah Revere.
真巧 我在里维尔长大的
Cool. I grew up in Revere.
你和保罗有血缘关系吗
Are you related to Paul?
他是我父亲
He's my father.
真会逗趣啊
You wise-ass.
我是梅勒妮·芭左恩
I'm Melanie Barzoon.
要不是我得了葡萄球菌感染 我绝对和你握手
I'd shake your hand, but I got a staph infection.
你就是人生赢家啊
Well, you seem to have it all...
有工作 有标了自己名字的衣服
a job, a shirt with your name on it.
你成功的秘诀是什么
What's your secret to success?
就是水 每个人都需要水 不然就会干渴而死
It's water. People need it, or else they dry up to death.
真简单
It's simple.
这也正是冰淇淋最吸引我的地方
And that's what I like about ice cream.
我喜欢把「石板街冰激凌」中的巧克力块挖出来吃
Yeah, I like to dig out all the chunks out of the Rocky Road.
-所以我前夫离开了我 -真酷
- That's why my ex-husband left me. - Cool.
我喜欢你的气场 你是荷兰人吗
I like your vibe. Are you Dutch?
我求之不得
I wish!
新泉房♥地♥产♥
别流泪
No crying.
不要 不要 不要
No, no. No, no, no, no!
按住他
Hold him down...
你会如此对待你母亲吗
Would you do that to your mother?
这主意糟透了
This is a bad idea.
汉考克和亚当斯是他们当代的「智慧之星」
Hancock and Adams are brilliant in their time.
但他们对现代合同法一无所知
They don't know anything about modern contract law.
他们无需了解 他们是谈判行家
They don't need to. They're expert negotiators.
他们用一袋小麦就换来了整个纽约州
They bought the entire state of New York for a bag of wheat.
丹 我是历史学教授
Dan, I am a history professor.
你的瞎掰骗不了我
I know that didn't happen.
-兄弟们 -感谢你做的一切
- My boys! u202d- Thank you for everything.
你被重新激活了 兄弟
You've been rebuilt, brother.
我准备采纳你的建议 向黛安求婚
I'm gonna take your advice. I'm proposing to Diane.
-谁想要冰淇淋 -我要
- Who wants ice cream? - I do!
这就是了 我们的冰淇淋店
Here it is... our ice cream shop.
你被骗了
You got ripped off.
这是什么破地方啊
This place is a dump.
抱歉我来迟了
Sorry I'm late.
我第一次穿裤子
First time in pants.
裤子 女人怎么能穿裤子
Pants?! But-but you're a woman!
你先是违抗了你父亲 现在又穿起裤子
First you disobey your father, and now this?
天啊 快收了她
God, smite her now!
这个时代 女人想穿什么就穿什么
Women can wear whatever they want in this time.
没错 而且小黛就要经营这家冰淇淋店了
That's right, and Deb here is actually going to run this ice cream shop.
女人来掌管生意吗
A creature ruled by the lunar cycle in charge of a business?!
太荒谬了 你脑子被驴踢了吧
Absurd! Have you gone insane?!
遗憾地告诉你 白人男性不再能主宰一切了
I'm sorry, but white men don't run everything anymore.
我们想即刻打道回府
We would like to go home now.
好 你们也许能顺便带回一些现代思想
Fine. Maybe you could take some of our modern ideas
消除性别歧视
about ending sexism to the past with you.
没问题 丹 「我们回去就这么干」
Sure, Dan. u202dWe'll, get right on that.
回到过去之后 告诉所有人
We're gonna go back in time and tell everyone
我们要让女人管事
that we're putting women in charge,
还要「把太阳沉入海中」
and we're sinking the sun into the sea.
克里斯 你能把他们送回1775年吗
Chris, can you take the boys here back to 1775?
我们得去修下冰箱
We have to go fix the freezer.
带走我们吧「上我们吧」 「老爹」「同性恋类型之一」Bag us, Daddy.
我的教学工作上 可能需要二位的帮忙
I might be able to use your help with something at work.
毕竟《独♥立♥宣言》是你们俩签署的
I mean, you guys signed the Declaration of Independence.
你说什么
The what now?
《独♥立♥宣言》
The-the Declaration of Independence.
也许是吧 干我们这行 要签很多东西
Maybe. In our line of work, we sign a lot of things.
写断很多鹅毛笔
Go through a lot of quills.
池塘里的鸽子根本不够用