重造历史（2017）

Well, that would be real egg on my face?
还好 门锁着
Good. It's locked.
或许这些书是开门的秘密机关
Maybe the door is connected to these books,
像《史酷比》里那样
like in Scooby-Doo.
2002美国冒险科幻喜剧电影
有同名卡♥通♥系列剧
都试下
Just try 'em all.
听起来那对小情侣玩得很高兴啊
The lovebirds sound like they're having a good time.
那感觉一定很好
Must be nice.
玫 你肤如凝脂
Mae, your skin is so soft,
你还擅长读表
and you can read a clock really fast.
我给你买♥♥了这束花
I bought you these flowers,
但是我刚才有点慌了
but then I got scared
因此我就把花藏在身后 没敢给你
and I sat in them instead of giving 'em to you,
现在我把花送给你
but now I am giving 'em to you.
阿尔 你以前从没给我买♥♥过花
Al, you've never brought me flowers before.
玫 我以前对你不够好
Mae, I haven't treated you very good
因为我怕你意识到自己有多优秀 然后离开我
because I was afraid you'd wise up to how great you are and you'd leave me.
阿尔 我永远不会离开你
Al, I could never leave you.
我根本没有勇气
I'm too scared.
这是我听过最美的情话
That is beautiful.
玫 你是我的知心爱人
Mae, you are my partner in love,
我的人生伴侣 还是我的...
my partner in life and my partner in...
我想「人生」已经涵盖一切了 是吧
Well, I guess "life" just kind of covers everything, doesn't it?
我应该先说「人生」的
I should've said "life" first.
阿尔 我很高兴你说了「爱」
Al, I liked that you said "love."
「爱」是「人生」的一部分
Love is part of life.
现在是了
It is now.
我很抱歉这不够浪漫
I'm sorry this isn't more romantic.
我超级开心的 因为我和你在一起
I'm having a wonderful time... because I'm with you.
他来了
He's coming.
这些椅子坐着太舒服了
These chairs are so comfortable to sit in,
我们一直坐在椅子上呢
which is all we've been doing.
没错 你那边怎么样 哥们儿
Yeah, how'd it go, pal?
她很喜欢
She loved it so much,
还给了我个热吻
and she gave me big kissies.
说实话 我希望能多听取些你们的建议
Honestly, I'm looking forward to taking credit for more of your ideas.
你们俩愿不愿意当我的「右臂」
How would you two like to be my... right-hand man
和我的左... 「腕」
and my left-hand... not a man?
你是说「顾问」
Like a... consigliere?
对 我也不清楚 大概吧
Yeah. I don't know. Sure. u202d
我猜我们的「顾问」身份
These advisors, I assume,
能让我们全权接触你的生活 业务
would have full access to your life and business
和你的保险库吗
and... I don't know, perhaps your vault?
干得漂亮
Nice.
对
Yes.
你们会参与一切
You would be involved in everything.
但我一般很难这样信任别人
But this kind of trust is a really big deal for me.
所以我需要你们为我做件小事
So I need you to do a little something for me
来证明你们对我的忠诚
to prove your loyalty.
好啊 你尽管说
Yeah. Anything.
你们得去杀了克里斯
I need you to kill Chris.
-没问题 我觉得这算不上 -当然可以
- Yeah. I mean, I don't think that... - Absolutely.
-什么难题 -我很乐意这么做
- should be a block in the road. - I would love to.
-完全没问题 -我想杀他很久了
- I don't think that's a problem. - I've been wanting to do that.
你看 浪漫起来了吧
See? It's getting romantic?
我们回来啦
Knock, knock!
铛铛铛
Zing-dee-dee!
-我们有怀表了 -怀表
- We got pocket watches! - Pocket watches!
我有「真·好消息」要宣布
I have actual good news.
我的计划奏效了
My plan worked!
没错 我向国税局递交了首次书面申请
That's right, I submitted the initial paperwork to the IRS,
然后呢
and after that,
再等几星期 他们就会寄来审计表格
it is mere weeks until they mail me the forms for the audit.
我们的计划也奏效了
Well, our plan worked, too.
并且即刻生效
And it'll work right now.
对 卡彭爱死我们了
Yeah. Capone loves us.
我们只要向他表一下忠心就行了
All we have to do is show him a simple act of loyalty.
没错 算不上什么大事
Yeah. It's not even a big deal.
怎么做
Okay, like what?
只要我们在他面前杀了你就行
All he wants us to do is kill you in front of him.
-我的天啊 -只是块表
- My God! - It's just a watch.
别担心 也就八美元
Don't worry about it. It's, like, eight bucks.
我才不担心什么破表
I'm not talking about the watch!
我惊讶的是 你们要残忍♥谋杀了我
I'm talking about being murdered!
他并不是真要杀你 克里斯
He's not actually going to kill you, Chris.
当然 你个白♥痴♥
Yeah, you dum-dum.
我拿到枪之后 我不会对着你
When he gives me the gun, instead of shooting you,
我会瞄准他的腿
I'll shoot him in the leg.
对 然后我们就逼他打开保险库的门
Yes. And then we'll make him open the vault
我们就能拿回时光机啦
and get our time machine back.
没门
No way.
为什么 就因为这不是你想出来的吗
Why? 'Cause you didn't think of it?
不 因为你们的办法是要我死啊
No. Because your way brings me to an execution.
而我的办法
And my way,
尽管对你们这群无知的人来说有点无聊
though it may seem boring to the uneducated mind,
但这才是符合历史真♥相♥的扳倒卡彭的办法
is the thing in history that actually takes down Capone.
行吧 你要是想花个几年
Well, fine, if you want to wait years
等你的「国税局计划」奏效
for your IRS scheme to work,
你等吧
go for it.
又或者你可以信任我
Or you could trust your buddy...
我们马上就能回家了
now.
我宁愿等几年
I'll take the years.
然后等我们拿回时光机
And when we get the time machine,
我直接穿越回我们离开的时间就好了
I'll just beam back to the moment we left.
时光机原理不是那样的
It doesn't work like that.
你在过去待了多久
However long you're in the past,
你就错过了多久的「当下」
that's as long as you've been gone from the present.
什么 你现在才想起来告诉我吗
What? You're just now telling me this?
是啊
Yes.
天啊 我竟然缺了一周的课
My God. I've missed a week of class!
这下肯定拿不到终身教职了
I'm not gonna get tenure now.
可能连工作都要丢掉了
I may not even have a job!
我们得赶紧去找卡彭
We got to go to Capone's,
你得抓紧时间杀了我
and you got to kill me right now.
你最好好好干啊
And you'd better do a good job.
遵命 我绝对给你个痛快 「老大」
Yeah, I'll kill you good, boss.
这么说 准备实行「信任兄弟」这一套了吗
So you're going with "trust your buddy"?
好极了
u202dNice.
当心墙
Watch the walls.
玫
Mae!
能麻烦你一下
If it's not too much trouble,
帮客人倒几杯咖啡吗
can I get some coffee for our guests?
咖啡还没准备好呢
It's not ready yet.
没关系
That's okay.
你的感受
What's most important...
才最重要
is your feelings.
一会儿见
Toodle-loo.
我的老天啊
My God! My God!
他是谁 我都认不出他来了
Who was that man? I didn't even recognize him.
他是你丈夫阿尔啊
That was your husband, Al!
我知道 我只是太惊讶了 开个玩笑
No, I know. I was making a joke.
好吧 我没意识到那是个玩笑 毕竟并不好笑
Right. I didn't know, because it wasn't funny.
丹尼 这就是我一直想给你看的那把新枪
Danny, this is that new gun I've been wanting to show you.
阿尔 我想见识的那把有原木饰条的枪
Al, the one I wanted to see, with the wood inlays.
没错
u202dCorrect.
抱歉 克里斯 你的死期到了
Sorry, Chris. That's curtains for you.
不要啊 丹 你怎么能背叛我呢
No, Dan. How could you betray me?
有什么遗言吗
Any last woids?
有
Yes.
「将你一军」
Checkmate!
你这个小笨蛋