重造历史（2017）

《制♥造♥历史》前情提要
Previously on Making History...
我有时候会显摆些未来的知识
Sometimes I use things from the future to...
博取他们欢心
make them like me more here.
我叫杰森·伯恩
My name's Jason Bourne.
我是汤姆·克鲁斯
I'm Tom Cruise.
这是魔术·强森
This is Magic Johnson.
我又给你写了首歌♥
I wrote you another song.
♪每一夜的梦中♪
♪Every night in my dream♪
♪我都与你相会♪
♪I see you♪
♪触碰你♪
♪I feel you♪
真够逊的
Super pathetic.
准备好穿越到未来了吗
You ready to go to the future?
制♥造♥历史 第一季第三集
你肯定想1775年了吧
Bet you miss 1775?
并不
Not really.
能在未来和你一起野餐更好
Picnicking with you is even better in the future.
你说这个叫什么来着
What is this called again?
这叫喷雾芝士
That's spray cheese.
灵感源于芝士
It's inspired by cheese.
而且你住的街区太迷人了
And your neighborhood is so lovely.
这里连儿童墓园都没有
There isn't even a children's graveyard.
在未来有一点好处就是
One of the cool things about the future
大部分孩子都活下来了
is that most kids live.
这么棒
I love that.
我也觉得
Me, too.
-干杯 -干杯
- Clink. u202d- Clink.
如果此刻你能再为我唱一首歌♥
The only thing that would make this moment even more perfect
就是锦上添花了
is if you sang me one of your songs.
可以啊 那我唱首...
Okay. This one's about...
一个会飞的十字架 世界末日来了
A flying crucifix! It's the end of days!
宝贝 那只是一架飞机 一架飞机而已
Babe, that's just a plane. That's an airplane.
2017年相比过去 有很多不同
All right, a lot's different in 2017.
先复习下 图一
Let's review. Picture one.
-车 -很好
- Car. u202d- Very good.
-图二呢 -猫 我们也养的
- Picture two? - Cat. We had those.
很好 那你就知道喵星人是什么了
Great, so you'll know what they are.
图三
Picture three?
-亚洲人 -还有呢
- Asian person. - u202dAnd?
见到亚洲人 我们要说什么
What do we say when we see an Asian person?
-什么也不说 -什么也不说 因为
- Nothing. - u202dNothing. There's nothing...
看到亚洲人 这很正常
There's nothing about seeing an Asian person
没有什么值得好逼逼的
that I need to comment on.It's totally normal. u202d
很好
Really good.
我真为你骄傲
I am really proud of you.
你学习很努力
You've been studying really hard.
名♥师♥出高徒嘛
I have a great teacher.
我得去上班了
All right, I have to go to work.
我很想跟你一起去
I really wish I could go with you.
好吧
All right.
我们试试吧
Let's give it a whirl.
孩子 假如我告诉你
What if I was to tell you, mentee,
这是一次庆功桑拿呢
that this is a victory sauna?
传言说你将拿下终身教职
u202dYour name is being bandied around for tenure.
-真的吗 -真的
- Wait, for real? - Yes.
虽然这已成定局 我还得怎么做才能搞定
Well, how does one theoretically seal the proverbial deal?
你将经历严格的审查
You're gonna be under intense scrutiny.
你的一言一行
You've got to walk and talk,
甚至是给我递水
a-and even hand me that water,
都要拿出「值得终身教职」的派头来
as someone who is tenure-worthy.
很好
Very good.
我也并不一直是西奥多·安东尼·科贝尔博士
You know, I wasn't always Dr. Theodore Anthony Cobell.
以前他们都叫我「泰德·托尼」
I used to be "Ted Tony."
我评上终身教授后
Then I got tenure
就再没「泰德·托尼」这号♥人了
and I murdered Ted Tony.
我明白了
Message received.
现在我去冲澡 你来和我聊天吧
And now come talk to me while I shower.
我就在这儿吃午饭
So, this is where I eat lunch.
丹尼尔
Daniel,
那个女的拿着个滑板哎
that woman is holding a skateboard.
你怎么会知道滑板的
How do you know what a skateboard is?
你以为你跟我说你所有发明的时候
Do you think I wasn't listening when you told me
我没好好听讲吗
of all your inventions?
我将其起名为帕尼尼机
So, I call it the Panini press.
随你在烤盘上放什么食物
Basically you take any food on the planet,
你可以将其加热 压扁
you can heat it, flatten it.
超级好吃
And it's delicious.
我的新发明是一种面具
So my new invention is a mask.
将其戴上
Right, when you put it on,
别人就以为你是个猩猩
people think you're a gorilla.
自《东京漂移》之后 我花了5年构思
The next book I'm writing picks up five years
我接下来要写的新书
after Tokyo Drift left off.
多米尼克发现莱蒂被杀了
Dominic finds out that Letty has been murdered.
她也是卧底吗
Was she working undercover, too?
你永远看不♥穿♥这帮人
You never know with these guys.
他们速度太快了
They're too fast,
又太富于激♥情♥了
and they're way too furious.
难以置信
I can't believe it.
到处都是你的发明
Your inventions are everywhere.
那个男的还戴着你设计的「丹·魔声」耳机呢
That man is even wearing your Beats by Dan headphones!
-去打个招呼吧 -不不不 那个
- Let's go say hi. - Oh, no, no, no. You know what?
来短♥信♥轰炸了
I'm blowing up.
他们告诉我今天的工作结束了
They're telling me work is done for the day.
刚收到邮件
Just got an e-mail.
又是你一项伟大的发明
Another wonderful creation of yours.
我们回家吧
Let's go home.
快 从侧门出去
Uh, quickly, out the side door.
这一切完全不会让我无措和害怕
That wasn't overwhelming or scary at all.
我超爱这里各种五颜六色的墙
And I loved seeing all the different colors walls can be.
墙想什么色都行
Yeah, walls can be whatever.
烦人
No.
工作有情况了
There's an emergency at work.
我得回去了
I have to go... back.
好吧 我会想你的
Okay. I'll miss you.
我也会想你的
I'll miss you, too.
你能给我唱首歌♥吗
Perhaps you can sing me one of your songs
这样你走后好给我留个念想
to think of while you're gone.
小黛 我的那些歌♥呢
Deb, the thing about my songs...
你真是太有才了
You're such an amazing talent.
就好像你读懂了我的心思
It's as if you read my private thoughts
用美妙的旋律表达出来一样
and put them to wondrous melodies.
那就表达一下你的心声吧
Well, here are some more of your thoughts.
♪如果时间能倒♥退♥♪
♪If I could turn back time♪
♪如果能有法子♪
♪If I could find a way♪
♪我会挽回对你造成的伤害♪
♪I'd take back all those times that I'd hurt you♪
♪你会留下♪
♪And you'd stay♪
可以了吗 不够吗 好吧
Is that enough? No? Okay.
♪如果我伸手就能摘到星♪
♪If I could reach the stars♪
♪我会放在你手心♪
♪I'd give them all to you♪
丹尼尔 你是绝世奇才啊
Daniel, you're a genius.
好吧 五点见
All right, see you at 5:00.
-亲爱的再会 -亲爱的再会
- Byesies. - Byesies.
亲爱的再会
Byesies.
同学们 下午好
Good afternoon, class.
罗伯特·奥本海默曾经说过
As Robert Oppenheimer once said,
原♥子♥弹♥之父
「这一刻我变成了死神
"Now I am become Death,
成为世界万物的毁灭者」
the destroyer of worlds."
你们知道这是什么意思了吧
You know what that means, huh?
突击测验
Pop quiz!
身为人师 不让学生蛋疼
If you don't have haters in this job,
就不是一个称职的好老师
it means you're not doing it right.