重造历史（2017）

并不 里面注满了甘油
no, they pumped it full of glycerin.
闭嘴
Shut up.
你们哪里都不准去
You're not going anywhere,
除非有人能告诉我
until somebody tells me
为什么几个我从没见过的纽约佬
why a New York crew i've never seen before
在我的地盘撒野
is running around my town
还打着我的名号♥
using... my name. u202d
我们这么做 是有正当理由的
There is a good explanation for it.
理由就是...
And that explanation is that,
我们... 我们确实认识你
we-we-we-we do know you.
你不记得我们 这情有可原
You-you don't remember us,
因为我们上次见面是在十年前
'cause we met ten years ago,
而且 我们现在都变样了
and we all look different now.
我长胖了
I-I got fat.
我胖了好多斤 因为一有压力我就狂吃
I gained a lot of weight, 'cause I'm a stress eater,
而且我烦心事[盘中食物]太多了
and I've had a lot on my plate.
我在想象你瘦时的样子
You know, I'm picturing you skinny.
嗯 画面感很强
Yeah. Yeah, I can see it.
你的脸瘦下来太美 我不敢想
That would really slim down your face.
没错 大脸是我的特色
Yes, I have fat face features.
大脸是你的特色 好吧
Yeah, you have fat face features. All right.
那他们俩呢
What about them?!
我换了发型
I... I changed my hair.
-发型确实挺有影响 -没错
- Hair really does make a difference. - Yes, it does.
发型能塑造你的脸部框架
It acts as, like, a frame for the whole head.
确实有影响
It does make a difference.
那他哪儿变了
What did he change?!
他其实哪儿也没变 他就是长了张大众脸
He actually didn't change anything. He's not memorable.
我能给人留下深刻印象 我会吹单簧管
I'm memorable. I play the clarinet.
就算他这么说 我也什么都没听进去
Even as he was saying that, I was, like, tuning him out.
-是吧 是吧 -对
- Right? Right? u202dRight? - Yeah.
我说不好
I don't know, guys.
这一切都很难让我相信啊
This all sounds a little hard to believe.
但你刚才还信了
But you were just believing it seconds ago.
你想想
Think about it.
一群我数十年没见过面的正统黑帮成员
A crew of legit gangsters, who I haven't seen in a long time,
刚巧在我手下全都得了猩红热的这天
comes to town on the very same day my normal crew
到镇上来了
is all sick with scarlet fever?
今天你的手下都得了猩红热吗
Your whole crew came down with scarlet fever on the same day?
你知道这意味着什么吗
You know what that means?!
我不用取消之前计划好的抢劫了
It means I don't have to cancel the stickup I planned!
-我真是世界上最幸运的人 -太好了
- Am I the luckiest damn guy in the world?! - Yeah!
几个自作聪明的家伙在玩扑克
Some wiseguys have been running a poker game
竟敢不叫上我
without giving me a piece of the action.
这些家伙
Those fiends. u202d
我们要冲进去 拿走我们那一份
So we're gonna go in there and take our cut...
让他们还敢不叫我
that'll teach them not to invite me.
阿尔
Now, Al,
你能不能不要因为钱
could you maybe, possibly not really be mad about the money
以及他们没叫你去玩扑克的事 这么生气
and be upset that you didn't get invited to the poker game?
行 「大众脸」 你控场
Yeah. Forgettable, you're on crowd control.
你进去之后
You go in there,
-要是有人逞英雄 你就废了他 -什么
- and someone tries to be a hero, you waste 'em! - What?
-「大饼脸」 -大饼... 「大饼脸」
- u202dFatface! - Fatf... yes, Fatface.
-就是你 「大饼脸」 -「大饼脸」
- Yeah, you, Fatface! u202d- Fatface.
我们进去之后
When we get in there,
你立马干掉门后的保镖
you take out the bodyguard just inside the door!
干掉他 用枪吗
Take him out, like, with a gun? u202dYeah.
-直接射穿他的脸 -「直接射穿他的脸」
- Shoot him in the face! - Shoot him in the face?
「长发女」 你来当接应我们的逃跑司机
Long-hair, you are our getaway driver.
也就是说 我要用手脚来开车
Then I will drive the car with my... hands and feet.
我知道怎么开
I know how.
变速箱不太容易操控
Okay, well, the shifter is a little tricky,
让我来教你怎么用
so let me take a moment to show you how to work it.
你看 时光机
Dude, check it out. The time machine.
快收起来
Put that away.
你在干...
What are you...
聪明
Smart.
装钱的袋子
A bag to carry the money.
我一直双手抓着钱跑
I'm always running out with it in my hands,
像个傻♥逼♥ 把钱撒得到处都是
dropping wads everywhere like a big galoot!
这不错
That is great.
-给我 -不行
- Give me this. - u202dNope.
-把袋子给我 -不
- Give me this. - u202dNo.
-装钱的袋子 -好吧
- It's a bag for the money! - Right.
说实话 我很喜欢你们 真的
u202dYou know what? I like you guys. I really do.
好了 让车运转起来
Okay! Keep the car running!
我们 冲吧
Let's... do it!
天啊
Man!
阿尔·卡彭拿着我们的时光机
So, Al Capone has our time machine.
大家真「棒」呀
Good job, everybody.
他不是故意的 克里斯
He said "Oops," Chris.
希望他射完了 还没有
Well, hopefully, he's done shooting. He isn't.
我们没和他一起冲进去 他会生气吗
You think he's gonna be mad we didn't go in there with him?
我们走
Let's go!
我们走 快走
Let's move. Let's move, move, move, move, move!
-抱歉 -没事
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - It's okay.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
-我猜 你们不是真的黑帮 -不是
- So, I guess you guys aren't, like, real gangsters? - Nope.
快点走
Let's go. Come on.
来吧 孩子们 我们谈谈
Come on, boys, let's go have a little talk.
你留在这儿
Why don't you... stay up here
帮我的厨娘做意大利面吧
and... help my dinner lady make the pasta.
来吧
Come on.
举起手来 我得搜身 以免你们携带武器
Arms up, boys. I got to check for weapons.
快点 转过去
Come on. Turn around.
我的苍天啊 这姑娘是谁
Hachi machi! Who's the dame?
天啊 我愿付出一切
Boy, what I wouldn't give to see
看看她泳衣之下的美妙胴体
what's underneath that bathing suit?
把她倒过来再看
Turn her upside down.
我的苍天啊
Hachi machi!
-我们那块儿还有更多这玩意呢 -真的吗
- And there's more where that came from. - Really?
假的 你为什么这么跟他说
No. u202dWhy would you tell him that?
我没管住自己的嘴
No, I don't know why I said that.
好了 两位
All right, boys,
找个好点的理由给我
why don't you give me one good reason
说说我为什么不现在就爆了你俩的头
why I don't blow both your brains out right now.
说理由之前
And before you do,
我来说说我以前听过的一些理由
let me give you a list of reasons I've heard in the past
-你们就别再用这些理由了 -遵命
- that I would prefer not to hear again. Good? - Yes, sir.
第一 「我要结婚了」
One-- "I'm getting married."
我怎么没收到邀请啊
Did my invitation get lost in the mail?
如果现在才告诉我 你们要结婚
If I'm just now hearing about your wedding,
-你觉得我是什么心情 -很伤心
- how do you think that makes me feel? u202d- Bad.
经典音乐剧 1971年百老汇首演
第二 「我要去看《富丽秀》了」
Two-- "I'm going to the follies tomorrow"!
好吧 你自己去吗
All right... are you going alone?
你就只买♥♥了一张票吗
Do you only have one ticket?
还是说你买♥♥了好几张票
Or do you in fact have several tickets,
而你都没客套地问我去不去
I just didn't even get a courtesy phone call?
他们怎么谈了这么长时间啊
They're taking an awfully long time.
阿尔让我安守本分 别插手他的事
Al kind of tells me to keep my nose out of his business.
他说你是他的「厨娘」
He called you his "Dinner lady."
这份工作有意思吗
Is that a fun job?
我是他妻子 他就这么叫我
I'm his wife. That's just what he calls me.
太过分了
That's terrible.
一直这么叫吗
All the time?
从我16岁嫁给他开始 他就这么叫了
Ever since we were married when I was 16.
什么
What?
这不跟我长大的年代一样吗
That hasn't changed since I was growing up?
你是什么年代长大的