重造历史（2017）

Making History S01E01

Part 2 July 14, 2020, 11:10 a.m.

Okay, You're insane.
那我怎么会有殖民地时期的破纸呢
How do I have all this Colonial junk then, man?
这是1775年那个年代的邮费价目表
This a vintage postal rate chart from 1775.
是啊
Yeah.
瞧瞧上面的日期
Look at the date!
你干什么啊住手
What are you doing? Stop!
你还吃上了
Are you eating it?
我不在乎
I don't care!
这东西要多少有多少
I could get so much more of that crap!
瞧瞧这玩意儿
What about this? huh?
-这个殖民时期的烟斗 -冷静丹
- This classic colonial pipe. - Okay, all right, Dan...
什...
Wha--
住手吧行了
Stop! Okay, okay.
-丹 -还有这个钟
- Dan, Dan... - Look at this clock.
这是无价宝
It is priceless!
你这是闹哪样啊
What are you doing?
我给你一个机会
I'm offering you a chance
发起美国独♥立♥战争
to start the American Revolution.
如果我说的这事有几万分一是真的
If there's even a .00001% chance that I'm right about this,
你不想亲自去确认一下吗
Don't you owe it to yourself to find out?
这实在太二了
This is so stupid.
-我脚边是什么 -火腿
- What's at my feet? - Ham.
可以自己吃也可以用来送人情
You can eat it, trade bites for favors.
十八世纪
In the 1700s,
火腿就是钻石可♥卡♥因♥海♥洛♥因♥
ham was pretty much like diamond-covered heroin.
这是真的啊
It's real?
是啊不知道你喘个什么劲
Yeah, I don't know why you're breathing so heavy.
又不是跑着来过去的
It's not like we ran to the past.
我们就躺在袋子里而已
We were just lying down,
好吧
Okay?
忘了告诉你
Oh, I forgot to tell you,
过去的空气闻着一股屎味
the past smells like poop
因为到处都是粪
because there is doody everywhere.
这真是太赞了
This is amazing!
指什么那个吃南瓜的酒鬼吗
What, that alcoholic eating a pumpkin?
不是我们穿越到过去了啊
No, man, we're, like, in the past!
嗯
Yeah.
你发明了时间旅行
You invented time travel!
是啊
Yep.
算是吧
Well, sort of.
总之欢迎来到1775年4月21号♥
Either way, Welcome to April 21, 1775.
就说一下那些穿红衣服的人应该是英国人
Just so you know, I think the guys in red are British.
这可不妙啊
This is really bad.
美国独♥立♥战争
The American Revolution
两天前就发该起了
was supposed to start two days ago.
你都在这里干了什么啊
What have you been doing back here?
说不好就一些事呗
I don't know. Stuff.
修正历史吧
So, fix it.
美国开国元勋他们以前常常
The founding fathers, they used to gather
去巴克门酒馆聚会
at this place called Buckman Tavern.
曾是列克星顿民兵的集♥合♥点
-我知道巴克门酒馆 -是吗
- I know Buckman Tavern. - Yeah?
我上次去那里时醉得不省人事
Last time I was here, I got trashed there.
你喜欢狂欢吗
You like to party?
白葡萄酒两三杯的量吧
Been known to have a white wine or three.
天呐这下肯定没劲了
Oh, my God, this is gonna suck.
我们要到巴克门酒馆了吗
Are we close to Buckman Tavern?
是啊快了
Yeah, we're close.
我就是要先去见一下我女友
I just got to see my girlfriend real quick.
啥你在过去交了个女友吗
Wha-- you're dating someone in the past?
跟你说过了我在过去就是万人迷
Look, I told you, I'm really popular around here.
我们得赶紧发起美国独♥立♥战争
We have to start the American Revolution!
反正都没发生了
It already didn't happen.
所以等个十分钟
What's the difference if it doesn't happen
有什么大不了
for another ten minutes?
你现在能找个地方消失一下吗
Now, could you please, like, give me some privacy?
我不想让她看见你她很快就来了
I don't want her to see you. She'll be here any second.
我怎么消失啊
Where am I supposed to go?
这是林子啊找个洞钻进去
I don't know, it's the woods. Burrow!
丹尼尔
Daniel!
丹尼尔
Daniel.
黛博拉
Deborah.
我好想念你
I've missed you.
我也好想念你
I've missed you, too.
给
Here.
-这是什么 -一件礼物
- Oh, what is this? - A gift.
小心意啦
It's nothing, really.
我就是在想你肯定冻坏了
I just was thinking about how cold you must be,
所以给你做了个帽子
so I made you a hat.
快戴上
Put it on.
好...
Oh, yeah, let...
好
Okay.
我假扮成母熊尸体
I disguised myself In a female bear carcass
当公熊勃起时我宰杀了他
and then slaughtered the male when he became aroused.
我没给你带什么礼物但...
I didn't get you anything, but,
我又给你写了首歌♥
I wrote you another song.
♪每一夜的梦中♪
♪Every night in my dreams♪
♪我都与你相会触碰你♪
♪I see you. I feel you♪
♪因此确信你依然守候♪
♪That is how I know you go on♪
♪穿越♪
♪Near far...♪
你是谁啊
Who are you?
黛博拉这是...
Deborah, This is, um...
魁克尔
Queequag.
《白鲸记》中的人物
我要护送他到北方
He's going north and I'm helping him.
美国内战前南方严重排斥黑人
-你好 -你好
- Hello. - Hi.
魁克尔来自西印度群岛Queequag is from the West Indies,
17和18世纪西班牙、英国、荷兰和丹麦之间对西印度群岛的领土进行瓜分奴隶制严重
所以他只会说「你好」
so The only word he knows is hello.
那他肯定会说一点荷兰语
Oh, well, then He must speak some dutch.
魁克尔
Queequag...
欢迎来到这里
魁克尔撞上一群骡子
Queequag got ran over by a bunch of... loose mules,
脑袋被骡子踢了
and it kind of scrambled him.
所以你懂的
So...
你怎么会说荷兰语
How do you speak dutch?
你太棒了
That's amazing.
你才棒啊
You're the amazing one,
你帮这个智障之人获取自♥由♥
Helping this halfwit To freedom.
我得走了
Well, I should go.
我父母要找我了
My parents will be looking for me.
亲爱的再会
Byesies.
亲爱的再会
Byesies.
别取笑我俩这么腻人
Don't make fun of the byesies thing.
小两口「热恋」时
You know how couples get
都这么你侬我侬的
when they're in that "in love" stage.
你怎么回事啊
What are you doing?
怎么了
What?
你穿越到过去
You travel back in time
扮装成男版「席琳·迪翁」吗
and then pass yourself off as some male celine dion?
不是就是殖民地这些人
No, it's just... these colonial people,
他们没啥见识
They don't know any better.
我有时候会显摆些未来的知识
Sometimes I use things from the future
博取他们欢心
to make 'em like me more here.
真够逊的
Super pathetic.
传说中的巴克门酒馆
The Buckman Tavern.
如果美国独♥立♥战争是在这里开始的
If the american revolution started here,
我们在这里重新发起就行了吧
We just need to restart it, right?
我的小心脏啊
Oh, my God,
一些美国开国元勋在这里啊
Some of the founding fathers are here!
那是詹姆斯·斯旺和约瑟夫·瓦伦吗
That's James Swan and Joseph Warren and...
那是威廉·道斯吗
Is that William Dawes?
我将发表一场演说召集起义