老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）

How I Met Your Mother S02E21

Part 2 Oct. 30, 2020, 3:53 p.m.

and if you can look me in the eye
如果你能看着我的眼睛
and tell me that you want to marry Marshall,
告诉我你想嫁给马修
I will leave right now and be out of your life forever.
我就立马走人并且永远离开你的生活
I want...
我想...
I want...
我想...
Scooter!
斯古特
I need a glass of wine.
我要一杯酒
And I need you to get out of my face.
我要你从我眼前消失
It's for the bride, so...
是给新娘的所以...
White or red?
白酒还是红酒
White.
白酒
And, uh... she'd also like a scotch and soda.
还有她还想要点加苏打的威士忌
You got it.
马上好
She'd also like a bowl of smoked almonds.
她还要一碗熏杏仁
I don't have any,
这没有
but I guess I could run out to the corner and get some.
不过我想我可以跑去拐角买♥♥一些
Well, it's only the biggest day of her life, so...
好吧这只不过是她人生最重要的一天所以...
Let the games begin.
好戏开始了
Here. Can't stay. Got to try something.
给你不能久留有试验要做
Maybe my words won't change your mind,
也许我的话无法改变你的心意
but maybe the words of a poet will.
但一首诗或许可以做到
I read from "November Rain."
我在《十一月的雨》里读到的
By W. Axl Rose.
艾克索•罗斯所写
That is a good song.
那是首好歌♥
Barney said you needed me to bounce some guy named Scooter?
巴尼说你需要我把某个叫斯古特的人赶走
What's up with Bill?
比尔怎么了
That's Scooter.
那就是斯古特
I'm on it.
交给我了
Hey. Hey.
嘿嘿
Can I have your phone number?
我能要你电♥话♥号♥码吗
No.
不行
It's for the bride.
是给新娘的
Oh. Hold on. Let me go get a pen.
噢等等我去拿支笔
The bride wants you to walk slower.
新娘要你慢点走
Oh, wow.
哇
Oh. Robin...
哦罗宾
My makeup looks perfect right now,
我的妆现在看上去很完美
and I'm about to cry. Do something.
但我快要哭了快帮帮我
I have hairy nipples.
我的乳♥头♥多毛
Really?
真的吗
No, but it worked, didn't it?
假的但这起作用了不是吗
Hey. Funny story.
嘿有个搞笑的事
I tackled this guy I thought was Scooter.
我处理了一个家伙我以为那是斯古特
Turns out it was your photographer.
结果是你的摄影师
Don't worry. I got this sweet camera phone, so we're covered.
别担心我这个照相手♥机♥很棒所以没事的
There's a photographer?
那有个摄影师吗
Oh, my God.
噢天呐
Okay, I just have to call... Robin, stop. Stop.
好吧我要打电♥话♥ 罗宾冷静冷静
It's okay.
没事
I am not gonna let anything get to me today.
今天我不会让任何事影响我
I just got a call from the florist. The flowers won't be here
我刚接到花商的电♥话♥ 花要等到
till halfway through the ceremony.
婚礼中途才能到
I'm okay.
没关系
I hate to bother you, but...
我不想打扰你可是
I think I found your veil in the parking lot.
我想我在停车场捡到了你的头纱
I'm fine.
我很好
Just FYI,my water broke.
我只是来说一声我羊水破了
But I can probably...
但是我还是可以
...make it through.
挺过去
Totally cool.
太好了
Oh, no.
噢不
Lily, I think I forgot your bridal panties.
莉莉我好像忘拿你的新婚小内♥裤♥了
I-I thought I had them. I'm so sorry.
我以为我带着的对不起
Oh, it's okay, I'll just wear the ones I have on.
没关系我穿身上这条就行了
Are you sure?
你确定吗
I'm marrying Marshall today.
今天我要嫁给马修了
So it doesn't even matter that I'm gonna walk down the aisle
其他都无关紧要就算我没有头纱可戴
without a veil in a room that has no flowers
在一个没有鲜花的大厅伴着一个临产的女人
to the music of half a harp played by a woman who's crowning,
弹奏半个竖琴的音乐以及我的高中男友
as my high school boyfriend reads Guns N' Roses lyrics.
念着枪与玫瑰的歌♥词走上红毯
But that's okay,
也无所谓了
because there's no photographer
反正也没有摄影师
there to take any pictures of it anyway.
把这些拍下来
Lily, are you okay?
莉莉你还好吧
What do you think?! Of course I'm not okay!
你说呢当然不好啊
Everything that could possibly go wrong at my wedding has!
婚礼上可能出现的倒霉事全让我碰上了
It's ruined!
我的婚礼毁了
What happened to "I don't want a perfect wedding"?
你不是说"我不想要完美的婚礼"吗
Oh, grow up, Robin! Of course I want a perfect wedding!
成熟点吧罗宾我当然想要完美的婚礼
Oh, God. I wanted... I
天哪我其实
wanted not to care about the wedding, but... I do.
真不想去在乎这个婚礼但我还是在乎
I... I'm supposed to feel like a princess today.
今天的我本该得到公主一样的待遇
And you will.
你会的
It's gonna be okay, sweetie.
会没事的亲爱的
Why don't we go outside?
我们出去走走吧
I have something that'll make you feel better.
我有能让你开心点的东西
What could you have that could possibly make me feel better?
还能有什么东西会让我开心
God, I hope Marshall's having a better day than I'm having.
希望马修过的比我好一点
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
完蛋了完蛋了
Oh, my God.
完蛋了
Oh, my God.
完蛋了
Oh, my God! What?
完蛋了怎么了
Well, it's not too short.
至少不是太短
My hair! Look at my hair! She ruined my hair!
我的头发看看我的头发她把我的头发毁了
I look like one of the Backstreet Boys!
我看起来就像后街男孩
You totally do.
真的很像
And not even the good Backstreet Boys,
还不是他们年轻帅气的时候
the older, lame dance move, comeback tour Backstreet Boys.
而是复出巡演时又老又土跳舞瘸腿的时候
The good Backstreet Boys?
后街男孩有年轻帅气的时候吗
Guys! Guys! What am I gonna do?!
伙计们我要怎么办啊
What-what the hell happened to you?
到底发生什么了
Lily's cousin is in beauty school,
莉莉的表妹在上美容学校
and Lily didn't want her to do her hair,
莉莉不想让她做自己的头发
so she said she could do mine.
就答应表妹可以给我弄
So, um, just not-not too short, okay?
不要剪的太短好吧
Oh, no, we don't even have to cut it at all.
哦没事我们根本不用剪
Could just give it some style.
弄个造型就可以了
Oh, okay, yeah, that's great.
好吧那太好了
'Cause, um, when it gets too short, it starts to look weird.
要是剪太短我的发型看起来就会很怪
And I don't want to look weird when I'm up there, you know.
我可不想在众人面前像个怪人
Ooh, I could give you some cool guy tips.
我可以让你变得更酷点
I don't think I need advice on how to be cool,
我觉得我已经够酷了
but yeah, great, lay that on me.
不过尽管放马过来吧
I can't get married like this! There's no way!
我绝对不能这个样子结婚
Ah, let me see what I can do.
我看看有什么办法
What? What can you do?
你能有什么办法
I have a superpower.
我有超能力
Lily is gonna kill me!
莉莉会杀了我的
Look at me!
看看我
She's not gonna want to marry me like this.
她不会想嫁给这样的我
That's crazy. Of course she will.
别胡思乱想了她当然会的
Would you marry me?
你会嫁给我吗
No. But not because of the hair. It's because I have a rule:
不会但不是因为发型而是因为我有原则
never marry anyone you've had a farting contest with.
不和跟我玩过放屁比赛的人结婚
Oh, great. So now you're
太好了你是说
saying Lily and I shouldn't even get married?
莉莉和我根本不该结婚是吧
Could I have everyone's attention, please?
大家能听我说两句吗
It's for the bride.
是新娘的事
One, the bride would...
第一新娘想
like all of this tension out of my shoulders.
让我的肩膀放松放松