世代（2021）

-我也不会 -不 我和小乔谈过了
- Me, neither. - No, J and I talked about this.
你需要去找一个想要照顾你的人
You need to go to someone who wants to take care of you.
天 这个不能问问题的政策太有才了
God, this no questions asked thing is genius.
你可以把小孩交给医院 警♥察♥局
You could do it at a hospital, a police station...
-去他妈的警♥察♥ -或者消防局
- Fuck the police. - ...or fire station.
真的吗啊 我第一次高♥潮♥
Seriously? The first time I achieved orgasm
就是对着一份澳大利亚消防员日历
was to an Australian Firefighters calendar.
那边
Over there.
天 我疯狂流汗
Oh, God. I'm literally sweating right now.
你们看上去好暴躁
Oh, y'all look crusty.
你好 小小人
Hi, tiny human.
这以前是我的
This was mine.
我外婆从不扔掉任何东西 现在派上用场了
My Nonna never throws anything away, and we glad for it now.
抱歉你不得不出生
Sorry you had to be born.
不过看看我们
But, hey, look at all of us, you know?
我们也不是主动要求被生出来的
We didn't ask to be born, either,
我们一定会成功的
and we're making it work.
好了
There you go.
-我们去消防局 -好耶
- We're going to a firehouse. - Yes.
我先得从家里拿点东西出来
I just need to get something from my house first.
我知道这就像跟踪狂 但你太美了
不发给你就太可惜了
我在这边桌上很想你
我也想你
你想聚聚吗
你收到我的留言了吗
Did you get my voicemail?
你有...有没有收到我的留言
D-did -- Did you get my voicemail?
没有
No.
等一下 我收到了
Oh, wait, no. Yeah, I did.
我过会儿会听的
I'll listen to it later.
不不不 没事的
Oh, no, no, I-I-I-it's fine.
你可以就...你就删掉好了
You can just -- you can just delete it.
宝贝
Oh, honey.
现在我是一定要听了
Now I am definitely listening to it.
我马上出来
I'll be really quick.
德莱拉的东西
请勿乱动
我的天
Oh, my God.
没事的
No, it's okay.
没事的
It's okay.
没事的 没事的
It's okay. It's okay.
我来吧
I got it. I got it.
谢天谢地 我今天哄得够多了
Okay, thank God, 'cause I've done enough today.
我不是谁的阿姨
I am nobody's auntie.
我知道 我知道
Oh, yeah, I know. I know.
没事的
It's okay.
你没事
You're okay.
你好小宝宝
Hi. Hi, baby.
♪姐是恶女♪
♪ I'm a savage, okay ♪
♪顶级美女 上流 别人的眼中钉♪
♪ Classy, bougie, ratchet, okay ♪
♪时髦 喜怒无常 还无礼♪
♪ Sassy, moody, nasty, okay ♪
♪装傻 你有事吗♪
♪ Acting stupid, what's happening? ♪
♪有事吗你♪
♪ Yes, what's happening? ♪
♪时髦 喜怒无常 还无礼♪
♪ Sassy, moody, nasty, okay ♪
你们破坏了我摇篮曲的气氛
You're killing my lullaby vibe.
抱歉
S-sorry.
♪姐是恶女♪
♪ I'm a savage ♪
没事的 没事的
No, it's okay. It's okay.
好了 我准备好了
Okay. I'm ready.
最近的消防局还是
So, nearest firehouse, or...
是的...就是...
Yeah, uh... uh, it's just...
是去消防局没错 但我不知道去哪家
Yes to a firehouse, but I don't know which one.
我猜无论我们去哪家
I mean, I'm assuming whichever one we choose,
妈妈
无论是谁收养他 应该是一个本地人
whoever's gonna adopt them is someone local,
如果让这个小孩生活在安纳海姆
and sentencing this kid to a life in Anaheim
感觉就是妥妥的犯罪
just seems straight-up criminal.
小德 我不想催你
D, I definitely don't want to rush you,
但是越来越晚了 我妈妈开始抓狂了
but it's getting late and my mom's starting to freak out.
是的 而且我们出来的时间越久
Um, yeah. Also, longer we're out,
我们越容易被交♥警♥拦下
the more likely we are to get pulled over,
这样就完蛋了
and then we're fucked.
好的
Okay.
最近的消防局
Nearest firehouse.
我们走
Let's go.
"耶稣是庆祝这时节的缘由"
"Jesus is the reason for the season?"
我们确定要把宝宝留在这里吗
Are we sure we want to leave the baby here?
我感觉到他以后只能在家里学习
I'm getting homeschooling vibes.
所以不行 不能留在这儿
So, like, no. Definitely not here.
除了奥克兰 哪里还住着拉拉
I mean, where other than Oakland do unicorn lesbians live?
我在找加州除了旧金山
I'm looking up best places in California for queers
还有哪里最适合酷儿居住
besides San Francisco right now. Okay?
等等 拉古纳
Wait, Laguna?
"阳光沙滩和幽静海湾
"Sunny beaches and secluded coves,
拉古纳是南加州地区最吸引人的海滨小镇"
Laguna is Southern California's most alluring beach town."
我不确定 那里的小孩都是这种
I don't know. Like, what kid's, like,
"生活不完美
"Life ain't perfect,
但至少我还有幽静的海湾"吗
but at least I got secluded coves"?
她怎么回事
What is going on with her?
我不知道 但我感觉有什么事
I don't know, but I feel like something happened.
干嘛
What?
-糟糕 -怎么了
- Oh, shit. - What?
在商场里我手♥机♥上传到云端了
My phone uploaded at the mall,
你们亲吻切斯特的视频
and the video of you guys kissing Chester
上传到家庭共享云盘了
is on the family iCloud.
不是吧
No way!
为什么家庭共享一直有问题
Why does iCloud never work,
等到好用的时候
and then when it does,
偏偏毁了我的生活
it screws up your whole life?!
那她告诉我爸爸们了吗
Did she tell my dads?
我要接吗 妈的 我必须接
Do I answer? Fuck! I have to answer.
不 你们为什么跟我说 不直接和内森说
No, why are you talking to me about this and not Nathan?
你难道没发现这是大问题吗
Do you not see how problematic that is?
信♥号♥♥很差 拜拜
My service sucks! Bye!
"大问题"真是我最爱的词 谢谢你
Problematic is literally my new favorite word. Thank you.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
贱♥人♥ 别想了
Bitch, don't even.
iCloud就是婊♥子♥
iCloud is a cunt.
我爸爸们也不能因为3p就责怪我 对吧
And, I mean, my dads can't be on me for threeways, right?
她用座机打给我了
She's calling me form the landline.
她还给我打视频通话
And she's FaceTiming me!
她真的是对我们双重出击
She is literally double-fisting us!
首先 看在老天爷的份上 你在哪里
First, where in the name of God are you?
你知道我有多担心吗
Do you have any idea how terrified I've been?
你弟弟在哪里
And where is your brother?
-妈妈 -谢天谢地
- Hi, Mom. - Oh, thank God.
你在哪
Where are you?
外面
J-Just out.
姐妹 我只是想
Hey, girl, hey. I just wanted to...
等等 她卡住了
Wait, she froze.
我们能把手♥机♥关了吗
Can we just turn our phones off?
不 我得跟她说一下
No, I...I think I should deal.
我们 我们得走了
We have... no, we have to go.
不 我只是不想让她报♥警♥
No, I just...I just don't want her calling the cops.
我看过那个视频 好吗
I saw that video, okay?
你瞧我厉害吧
So how do you like them apples?
-妈妈 我们能谈谈吗 -不 不
- Mom, can we just talk? - No, no!
不 我们不仅要谈谈
No, no, no, no, no, we cannot just.
我受够了 你们两个立马回家
this is it. You two are coming home right this minute.
当你们踏进家门的时候
When you walk through that door,
我要狠狠骂你们一顿
I am gonna come down on you so hard,
骂到你们头晕目眩
it's gonna make your head spin.
再也没有好好女人了 懂吗
No more Mrs. Nice Mujer, okay?
你们在听吗
Are you listening to me?