世代（2021）

No, no. Wait.
什么类型的玩
What kind of hang?
不知道
I don't know.
像朋友那样 还是约会那样 还是普通的玩
Friend hang? Date hang? Hang-hang?
可能什么都不说 我也不知道
It's probably nothing. I don't know.
你要怎么知道
How do you know?
她有说"鱼"
Well, she did say "Fish."
-不 -我帮你准备
- No! - I'm getting you ready.
呕 不要 不要
Ew! God, no! No!
但我不想打扮成我有所期待的样子
But I-I don't want it to look like I think it's something.
可能没什么
It's probably nothing.
别说了 没有期待就什么都得不到
Ah -- No. Stop. Expect nothing, get nothing.
这个野花壁纸是什么鬼
What is this wildflower-wallpaper shit?
不 我们要重新装饰 什么都不在乎
No. We are redecorating. We are giving zero fucks.
你要打扮成你想被注意到的样子
You are dressing like you want to be seen.
来吧
Let's go.
格蕾塔
Greta!
嗨 卢克姑爹和贝蒂埃尔姑妈
Hi, Uncle Luke and Aunt Bethuel.
瞧瞧你们穿着匹配的衣服
Well, look at you in your matching outfits!
欢迎来到飞翔的水手
Welcome to The Flying Seaman.
娜塔莉亚和乔丹以及我们所有人都很开心
Natalia and Jordan and all of us are so happy
你们能加入我们的彩排晚宴
that you could join us for the rehearsal dinner.
那是你们妈妈 对吗 犹大圣徒 超厉害的一个女人
That's your mother, isn't it? Judas Priest, what a woman.
我说了对不起了 还有 那事发生的时候
I said I was sorry. Also, when it happened,
你根本还没碰他的屌♥
you hadn't even touched his dick,
所以根本没那么严重
so, obviously, it wasn't that serious.
-你们好 -嗨 卡秋什卡姨妈
- Hello! - Hi, Aunt Katyushka!
欢迎来到飞翔的水手
Welcome to The Flying Seaman.
娜塔莉亚和乔丹以及我们所有人
Natalia and Jordan and all of us
都很开心你能加入我们的彩排晚宴
are so happy you could join us for the rehearsal dinner.
很高兴见到你 可以安全跟内森拥抱
It is so good to see you. And it's safe to hug Nathan.
不知道你有没有听说 但他的眼睛问题
I don't know if you heard, but that thing with his eye
不是红眼病 所以你不会被传染
was not pink eye, so you definitely won't get infected.
其实就是被刺♥激♥到了
Turns out it was just an irritant.
不是普通的刺♥激♥物
Not just an irritant,
很大一团的刺♥激♥物
a really huge glob of an irritant.
但是男生就这样 对吧
But boys will be boys, right?
很高兴你好点了
I'm glad you're feeling better.
我好期待今晚
I am so excited for tonight.
还有 我一直对你很好
Also, I have been so nice to you.
你把洗甲水倒进我丝塔芙洗面奶的事我都没告诉妈妈
I didn't even tell mom when you put nail-polish remover in my Cetaphil.
欢迎来到飞翔的水手
Welcome to The Flying Seaman!
以后不能再这样了
That can never happen again.
你们来了
There you are!
神奇女侠
I mean, Wonder Woman!
盖尔·加朵和琳达·卡特
Gal Gadot and Lynda Carter
此刻肯定倍感威胁
are feeling very threatened right now.
什么 我什么都没做 我找的派对策划
What?! No! I did nothing. It was 1-800-Party-Planner.
我只是为娜塔莉亚感到高兴
I'm just so happy for Natalia.
你们有见到她吗
Have you seen her yet?
她可以登上《VOGUE》封面
She's a Vogue cover.
已经有三个人说
Three people have already commented
我们长得像了 我说
how much we look alike, and I said,
拜托 你不用恭维我
"Please, you don't have to flatter me.
寿司本来就不要钱
The sushi's already free."
你们懂的 我们不要钱
I mean, you know, for us.
一个人两百
You know, $200 per person.
别跟马克说
Do not say a word to Mark.
不过讲真 她是不是美到能登上《VOGUE》封面
But, really, is she not Vogue?
-你们真是姐妹 -哪有
- You are literally sisters. - No, no, no!
我就是个饱经风霜的老太婆
I'm a weathered old hag.
我好开心
I'm so happy!
感觉要结婚的是我
I feel like I'm getting married.
你们看到乔丹的鞋码了吗
Have you seen Jordan's shoe size?
我感觉娜塔莉亚
I have a feeling Natalia
会是个非常幸运的女孩
is going to be one very lucky girl.
-这是切斯特和格蕾塔 -嗨
- This is Chester and Greta. - Hi!
-这是帕布罗 -你好 帕布罗
- This is Pablo. - Hi, Pablo.
-费尔蒙怎么样 -垃圾
- So, how's Fairmont? - Shitty.
我讨厌私立学校的学生 你很幸运你离开了
I hate private-school kids. You're lucky you left.
如果你想被开除 也不是那么难
Well, if you want to get kicked out, it's not that hard.
如果你的屁♥股♥在前面
What if your butt was on your front
而你前面在后面呢
and your front was on your back?
我觉得厕所会变得很奇怪
I think the bathroom would be really weird.
天 那样你就得俯身于马桶上
Oh, my God. You would have to, like, lean over the toilet.
-想象下 -弯腰驼背
- Imagine? - Hunch.
嗯 身体根本不能那样弯
Yeah. Your body doesn't even bend that way.
等等 我的天 这是你第一次吗
Wait. Oh, my God. Am I taking your virginity?
真的吗 天啊
Really? Oh, my God!
棒
Yes!
-我们支持"大♥麻♥童贞女王" -对 就这样
- We stan a virgin queen. - There. You got it.
然后吸住
And hold it...
-好了 -很好
- That's okay. - Very good.
你在水族馆工作真酷
It's cool you work in an aquarium.
你知道有一种鱼的阴♥茎♥长在下巴上吗
Did you know that there is a fish with a penis on its chin?
不知道
I didn't know that.
这样会很方便吧
I feel like that would be pretty convenient.
你知道三分之一的鱼
Did you know that 1/3 of all fish
都是人假扮的吗
are just people in fish costumes?
我不能和陌生人说话
I'm not allowed to talk to strangers.
但是这个人人都知道
But, literally, everyone knows that.
-你还好吗 -嗯
- You okay? - Yeah.
我好想要♥射♥了♥
I think I'm gonna cum.
睁开眼睛
Open your eyes.
睁开
Open them.
看着我 别闭眼
Just look at me and keep them open, okay?
我忘了你有多古怪了
I forgot how weird you are.
-抱歉 -没事
- Shit. Sorry. - It's okay.
我有次被水母蛰过
I was stung by a jellyfish once.
-真的吗 -嗯
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
我跟外婆在沙滩上
I was at the beach with my Nonna.
我当时大概8岁
Maybe I was like 8.
我叫得特别大声
I was screaming so loud.
我附近的一个男的很同情我 他说
And this guy nearby felt bad and was like,
你该在上面撒尿
"Oh, you're supposed to pee on it."
然后我外婆说 去他妈的
And my Nonna basically was like, "Fuck that."
我开始叫得更凶
And I started screaming more
部分是因为我想看他的鸡鸡
kind of 'cause I just wanted to see his penis.
当他掏出来后 当时
And when he took it out, which at the time
没有现在说出来这么猥亵的感觉
didn't seem as molester-y as it sounds now,
那是我见过的最大的屌♥
it was the biggest thing I've ever seen in my life.
超级大 我忘记了疼痛
Like, it was so big, I literally forgot to be in pain.
然后有水开始洒在我腿上
And then there was this gushing waterfall on my leg.
我大概也是在那时意识到被淋尿
And that's also probably when I figured out that being peed on
激不起我的性♥欲♥
is not a turn-on for me...
大鸡♥巴♥才行
but a big penis is.
我感觉你刚才不是在想这个
I feel like that's not what you were just thinking about.
我刚在想没有大脑 没有心
I was just thinking what it would feel like
在生活里四处漂泊
to go through life with no brain and no heart...
是什么样子
and just drifting.
她是个忧愁的瘾君子
Ooh! She's a sad stoner.
她感到透明
And she feels see-through.
我好平淡无奇
I'm so obvious.
我刚说的是你还是我
But was I talking about you or me?
我想我们都是水母婊♥子♥
I guess we're all just jellyfishy bitches.
信息
莱丽
-你知道我妈妈在我结婚那天跟我说了什么吗 -什么
- You know what my mother told me on my wedding day? - What?
她说 老公就像马
She said, "Husbands are like horses.
如果你不骑他们 他们就会跑掉
If you're not riding them, they're runnin' off."
你得承认你妈妈仍然风韵犹存
Oh, you do have to admit your mother's still a head-turner.
很高兴见到她这么开心