欢乐一家亲（1993）
Frasier S02E06
Part 3
Dec. 8, 2022, 9:48 a.m.
作为对此的回应
and performing "Secondhand Rose".
这样人们又喜欢她了吗 - 没错 短暂地
And that made people like her again? - Yes, briefly.
管他呢 告诉他们我会去主持
Oh, What the hell, tell them I'll emcee.
最好 告诉他们我要订下晚宴上的一整桌
You know, better yet, tell them I'll take a whole table at the banquet.
我已经搞定了 你欠那些修女800块
I already did. You owe those nuns 800 bucks.
800 - 她们可招惹不得
800! - Don't mess with them.
我把自己置于了一个危险的境地
I've put myself in such a precarious position.
我必须慎重选择我的演讲素材
I've got to choose my material very carefully.
我知道几个好笑的笑话 - 不 Niles 你不知道
Oh, I know some good jokes. - No, Niles. You don't.
你要是需要笑话 可以用我的
You know, if it's jokes you need, feel free to use some of mine.
是啊 我确信修女们会喜欢的
Oh, yes. I'm sure the nuns would just love that.
还不如打给Bulldog 要几个
Why don't I call Bulldog and ask him
出自他楠塔基特岛主题节目里的打油诗
for a couple of limericks from his Nantucket series?!
我要打给Mike神父
I'll just call Father Mike.
我相信他知道一些不会冒犯别人的笑话
I'm sure he knows a couple of inoffensive jokes.
你好 是的 我不在乎你有什么感受
Hello. Yes, well, you know, I don't care how you feel.
我现在想用电♥话♥
I want to use the phone right now.
Daphne 你奶奶的髋骨又错位了
Daphne, Your grandmother's hip was out again.
开个玩笑 玩笑
Just kidding! Kidding!
有人落水
我希望你为我们准备了一些幽默的故事
I do hope you'll have some humorous stories for us,
当然 不要太猥琐或者太下流
though, of course, nothing too racy or risque.
当然 我没想那么做 - 那就好
Oh, no, no, of course not, I wouldn't dream of it. - Good.
去年 Kathie Lee Gifford讲了关于新婚夫妇和
Last year, Kathie Lee Gifford told the most unfortunate story
滑雪缆车的不幸故事
involving newlyweds and a ski lift.
你们好 - Mike神父 最近好吗
Hello, all. - Hey, Father Mike. How are you doing?
谢谢你们的到来 你们的来意太好了
Thank you for coming out for such a good cause.
我愿随时效劳
Hey, I'd support this cause anytime.
我就是在圣巴茨医院做的髋部手术
St Bart's where I had my hip surgery.
把我照顾得很不错
They treated me good.
我刚刚看见了Frasier 不得不说 他看起来有些紧张
Oh, I just saw Frasier. I must say, he seems a bit nervous.
他该紧张 今晚他的表现极其重要
Well, he ought to be. There's a lot riding on his performance tonight.
谢天谢地 有个贴心的老修女在旁安慰他
Well, thank goodness he's got that sweet old nun there to comfort him.
她没那么贴心 那是Joselia 擦洗修女
She's not so sweet. That's Sister Joselia, the scrubbing nun.
被称为"三号♥病房♥的噩梦" - 你还记得她
Better known as "The Terror of Ward Three". - You still remember her?
你记得那个让我尖叫着
Hey, you know that nightmare
醒来的噩梦吗 "别用海绵擦 别用海绵擦"
where I wake up screaming, "Not the sponge! Not the sponge!"?
那就是她
That's her!
我小的时候 考虑过当修女
You know, when I was a girl, I considered being a nun.
是吗 后来怎么改变想法了
Really? What changed your mind?
我不想周末上班
I didn't want to work weekends.
Maris去哪了 - 我想Crane夫人在那边
Hey, where did Maris go? - Well, I believe Mrs Crane is over there.
哪里 哦 上帝保佑她那忙碌的小心脏
Where? Oh, bless her busy little heart.
她堵到了Lydia Beaumont 博物馆董事长
She's cornered Lydia Beaumont, head of the museum board.
Maris想加入那董事会好多年了
Maris has been angling to get on that board for years.
看来Lydia要逃走了
Yeah, it looks like Lydia's getting away.
没错 你那"加饮料"的招数
Oh yes, your "Freshen-the-drink" Ploy.
可怜的Lydia没有意识到她在跟谁打交道
Poor Lydia has no idea with whom she's dealing.
就是这样 Maris 灌下那杯雪莉酒 追上去吧 好的
That's right, Maris. Chug that sherry. On with the chase! Yes!
她去了 她接近了 她接近了
There she goes! She's gaining! She's gaining!
到了冰雕附近
She's coming round the ice sculpture...
Beaumon夫人和Maris Beaumon夫人和Maris
It's Mrs Beaumont and Maris... Mrs Beaumont and Maris...
太棒了 她们再次相遇
And yes! They meet again.
我确信在甜点被收走之前她们就会变成同事
I fully expect they'll be board-mates before they clear away the desserts.
大家晚上好 - 你来了 儿子
Good evening, everyone. - Hey, son.
我们正在说你刚才看上去多么英俊自信呢
Ah Dr.crane. we were just saying how handsome and confident you looked.
真的吗 - 当然 擦擦额头的汗吧
Really? - Absolutely! Forehead.
你还记得我给你的那些笑话吗
You memorise those jokes I gave you?
记得 所以我才看起来如此帅气又自信
Yes. Yes. They are the reason I look so handsome and confident.
现在不是应该开始了吗
Shouldn't they have started this thing by now?
我们在等Cologie主教
Oh, well, we're waiting for the Bishop Cologie.
该由他介绍我
He's supposed to introduce me.
他随时都有可能到 祝你成功 Frasier.
I'm sure he'll be here any minute. Break a leg, Frasier.
听着 我也有几次在宴会中上台的经验
Now, listen, I've done a few bowing banquets in my time.
重要的是 保持微笑
The thing to remember is, keep smiling
看起来你很乐在其中
and look like you're having a good time.
好的 - 如果笑话冷场了 别在意
Right. - Yeah, and if a joke bombs, don't pay any attention to it.
学学Johnny Carson 自嘲一下笑话很烂
Do what Johnny Carson used to do, just make a joke about how bad it is.
美国电视节目主持人 喜剧演员
"烂透了" 我怀念那家伙了
"Mmm, Bomb-o!" Boy, I miss that guy!
你♥爸♥说得没错 Frasier 自信地去吧
Your dad's right, Frasier. Just go up there and be confident.
我会的 等我先找到洗手间
Yes, well, I will do that just as soon as I find a men's room.
没事的 你只是胃里有几只忐忑的小蝴蝶
Oh, you will be fine. You've just got a few butterflies in your stomach.
它们呆不长 我很快回来
Not for long! I won't. I'll be right back.
晚上好
Good evening.
我是Mike Mancuso神父 我刚被告知需要
I'm Father Mike Mancuso and I've just been asked
宣布一个非常悲伤的消息
to make a very sad announcement.
众所周知 每年我们的嘉宾发言人
As you know every year our guest speaker
都是由Cologie主教来介绍
has been introduced by Bishop Cologie,
他是我们的主席 也是星期天早晨
our chairman and host of
热门的有线电视节目"煎饼与寓言"的主持人
the popular Sunday morning cable TV show "Pancakes and Parables".
然而我们刚被告知
However, we've just been informed that
主教出了可怕的意外
the Bishop has suffered a terrible accident.
他今天下午外出钓鱼
It seems that he was out fishing this afternoon
他的船被风暴击中并打翻
when his boat was hit by a storm and capsized.
现在他仍旧下落不明
At the moment, he remains missing.
有新消息会通知大家的
However, I'll keep you abreast of any further developments.
怎么什么事都让Frasier碰上了
Why does everything happen to Frasier?
虽然大家都有些惊慌失措
But, fazed as you all are,
但我们都知道这个夜晚对主教来说有多重要
we know how much this evening means to the Bishop
每年他有多喜欢用圣经相关的手影表演
and how he'd delights in entertaining us each year
来给大家助兴
with his biblical hand shadows.
我们也知道他将第一个坚持
We also know that he would be the
让我们在没有他的情况下进行下去
first to insist that we proceed without him.
所以 我进入主题 介绍今年的发言人
So, I'm going to step in and introduce this year's speaker.
我们用热烈的掌声欢迎
Won't you extend a cordial, gracious welcome
我的朋友兼同事 Frasier Crane医生
to my friend and colleague, Dr Frasier Crane.
Crane医生 Crane医生
Dr Crane? Dr Crane?
我在这儿
Ah!
谢谢你 Mike神父 非常感谢
Thank you, Father Mike. Thank you very much,
今晚非常荣幸能来到这里
I can't tell what an honour to be here this evening.
我本希望能由主教来介绍我
I expected the Bishop to
但我想他最终会"漂"来的
introduce me but I'm sure he'll drift in eventually.
观众席中能看到这么多牧师
You know, it's a real comfort to see
真是一种安慰
so many priests out there in the audience.
这些天 要是身边没有一个可以做
These days, I don't dare speak in public
临终祈祷的人 我都不敢在公开场合发言
without someone standing by who can perform the last rites.
真是一群虔诚的观众 我明白了
Whoa! Very religious crowd, I see.
我知道因为你们发了沉默之誓
I can tell because of the vow of silence.
希望你准备了圣水 神父
I hope you've got some holy water standing by there, Father?
我都快干♥死♥了
I'm dying here.
说到水 这让我想起一个小故事
And speaking of water, that reminds me of a little story.
一个拉比 一个神父和一位牧师
A rabbi, a minister and a priest
犹太宗教领袖 尤指精于犹太法典的犹太教堂主管
一起坐在泰坦尼克号♥的酒吧里
are all sitting at the bar on the Titanic.
Crane医生 主教
Dr Crane! The Bishop!
我听的版本是一个牧师
Oh, well, I heard the story with a priest,
不过管他呢 换成主教更有趣 对吧
but what the heck? A bishop's even funnier, isn't it?
谢谢你 修女 好吧 那就是
Thank you, Sister. OK, then...
一个拉比 一个神父和一位主教
A rabbi, a minister and a bishop...
都坐在酒吧里
...are all sitting at the bar
这时乘务长冲进来宣布了坏消息
when the purser rushes in to give them the horrible news...
Frasier 主教在海上失踪了
Frasier, the Bishop is lost at sea!
是你讲故事还是我讲故事
Hey, look, are you telling this story or am I?
Frasier - 拜托 女士 我喜欢一个人讲故事 谢谢
Frasier... - Hey, come on, lady, I work alone, all right? Hey, thank you.
接着讲 乘务长冲进来
Alright. Anyway, so the purser rushes
跟他们宣布了有关于船的坏消息
in to give them the horrible news about the boat.
拉比起身说到 "老天 我的人♥民♥将会需要我"
So the rabbi gets up and says, "My God, my people will need me."
神父正打算离开
The minister is about to leave
这时牧师说 抱歉 是主教
when the priest said, oops, oh, sorry, the bishop...
主教说 "放轻松 再喝一杯吧 我相信拉比可以搞定"
...says, "Oh, relax. Have another drink. I'm sure that the rabbi can handle it."
神父说 "我的天 你怎么能在我们"
欢乐一家亲（1993）
Frasier
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