幻灭（2018）

幻灭
第二季 第十集
国王遭到了袭击
The king has been stricken.
公主对他挥舞了魔杖
The princess drew her magic wand on him.
上面的魔法还热乎着
Still hot with magic.
一切都还好吧
Is everything all right?
不 你这白♥痴♥ 出事了
No, you idiot. Everything is not all right.
现在快去发布官方声明 就说一切都好
Now, go make a public proclamation that everything is all right.
巫师 为国王提供最好的医疗服务
Sorcerio, get the king the finest medical care in the kingdom.
这就去
I'm on it.
你说"这就去"的时候
Now, when you say "I'm on it,"
是代表你会去
does that mean you will go out
寻找全国最好的医疗费服务
and find the best medical care in the kingdom,
还是你认为凭你自己
or that you think you, yourself,
就可以提供全国最好的医疗服务
can provide the best medical care in the kingdom?
这就去
I'm on it?
梅尔兹 特比什 带陛下
Mertz, Turbish, take His Majesty
回到卧室 悉心照料
to his bedchamber with the utmost care.
小心点
Careful!
我来照顾我爸 你把王国的事打理好 行吗
I can take care of my dad. You take care of the kingdom, okay?
很好
Very well.
彭德格斯特 把公主收押
Pendergast, place the princess under house arrest.
什么
What?
对不起 爸 等等 收押是什么意思
Sorry, Dad. Wait, what do you mean, "House arrest"?
我只是通过收押你这个刺客的方式
I'm simply taking care of the kingdom
来保护王国
by detaining you, the assassin.
等等 你看到发生什么了
Wait a minute. You saw what happened.
这是意外 我谁都没想杀
It was an accident. I wasn't trying to kill anybody.
蒂尔碧妮 我只是想规避一场宪法危机罢了
Tiabeanie, I am merely trying to avoid a constitutional crisis.
我们根本没有宪法
We don't even have a constitution.
所以才会有危机啊 带她下去
That's what makes it a crisis. Take her away!
我真喜欢说这句话
I love saying that.
第二十章
蒂尔碧妮的陨落
真是噩梦一场
Ugh. What a nightmare.
他们不可能永远把我关在这
They can't keep me in here forever.
对不起 我收到了严格的命令
Sorry, I'm under strict orders
要一直把你关在这 还有特比什
to keep you here forever. Also, Turbish.
特比什呢 -他在盯着你的窗户呢
So, where is Turbish? - He's watching your escape window.
你好 小碧
Hi, Bean.
没时间睡觉了 疯子杀人狂
Now's no time for a nap, psycho killer.
你们俩来干什么
What are you two doing here?
我们来帮你的
We came to help you.
在你和守卫对话的时候 我们溜了进来
We walked in while you were talking to the guard.
这就是矮的好处之一
It's one of the benefits of being short.
艾尔弗经常会潜入你的房♥间
Elfo sneaks in and out of your room all the time.
为了研究
It's for research.
我们都知道老鼠就是传播肮脏疾病的吸引源
We all know rats are magnets for filth-borne disease.
还有什么更好的方法 比用一堆洗干净的老鼠
So, what better way to pull the disease from his body
放在他身上 还能更有效地祛除疾病呢
than by covering him in freshly shampooed rats?
他动了 身体正在恢复
He's moving. The recovery is underway!
行吧 爬进去吧 又没什么坏处
Sure, crawl in. What could it hurt?
天哪 他们在对他做什么
Oh, my God! What are they doing to him?
这些家伙根本不懂可学和医学
These fools don't know anything about stience or medicine.
得赶在他们治死我爸之前把他救出来
I gotta help my dad before they cure him to death.
谋杀罪名一扣 你麻烦真的大了
I think you're in serious trouble with the murder and all.
是企图谋杀
Attempted murder.
而且这根本不算谋杀 我什么也没有
And it wasn't even murder, and I didn't attempt anything.
他们心里也清楚
And they know it.
为什么他们要这么对我
Why are they doing this to me?
月亮便士小姐 女祭司来了吗
Miss Moonpence, is the Archdruidess here?
是的 部长 -很好 带她进来
Yes, Minister. - Good. Send her in.
祝福你的帽子
Blessings on your hat
和你帽子下面的头 部长
and the head that fills it, Prime Minister.
你也是 女祭司
And also with you, Archdruidess.
听说国王身体越来越虚弱了
I hear the king grows weaker.
你从哪儿听说的
Where did you hear that?
佐格国王还活着 不过情况很糟糕
King Zog is alive, but in a very bad way.
蒂尔碧妮伤得他很重
Princess Tiabeanie wounded him severely.
神哪 众神哪 我们的王国未来会怎么样
Dear God, or Gods, what is to become of our kingdom?
月亮便士小姐 你可以去公园吃胡萝卜了
Miss Moonpence, you may go to the park to eat your carrot now.
是 部长
Yes, Minister.
所以
So?
我说了现在就去 月亮便士小姐 -是 部长
I said now, Miss Moonpence. - Yes, Minister.
梦想之地的法律规定 如果国王不能继续当朝
Dreamland law says that if the king cannot serve,
王位就会流传给他最年长的男性继承者
the crown goes to his oldest male heir.
那就是德里克了
That would be Derek.
但如果孩子还没成年
But if the child is not an adult,
那他的母亲将代为摄政
then his mother shall serve as regent
直到孩子成年
until the boy reaches adulthood.
是的 但如果母亲无法代为摄政呢
Yes, but what if the mother is not available to serve?
那会由离婚判决书所定的
Then, the regent would be the child's caretaker
孩子的监护人代为摄政
as named in the divorce decree.
在你主持的离婚判决中
And whose name was inserted as caretaker
又把谁指认为孩子的监护人呢
into the divorce decree over which you officiated?
佐格国王 奥娜王后
奥德瓦 孩子的监护人
卧♥槽♥ 是你
Son of a bitch, it's you!
这说明 如果德里克成为了国王
That means, if Derek becomes king,
你就能摄政了
you become regent,
年轻的国王会成为你的木偶
and the young king becomes your puppet!
是我们的木偶
Our puppet.
有人提到木偶了吗 -出去 德里克
Did someone mention puppets? - Get out of here, Derek!
蒂尔碧妮公主或许会成为阻碍
Princess Tiabeanie may be an obstacle.
她挺受人欢迎的
She's quite popular.
很有雄心 从十三世纪的角度看 她很现代化
And willful. A very modern woman, positively 13th-century.
但我们可以改变大众的观点
But we can change popular opinion.
在苦难的日子里
In times of trouble,
我们或许会把一切都归咎于一个人身上
we may be tempted to assign blame to just one person.
那就这么办吧 好吗
So, let's do that, shall we?
我当然说的是蒂尔碧妮公主
I am talking, of course, about Princess Tiabeanie.
出去放话
Now, get out there and spread the word.
快去吧 赶紧出去
Go on, get the hell out of here.
找人背锅 这宗教终于有点名堂了
Scapegoating. Finally, this religion is going somewhere.
我的孩子在城♥堡♥工作
My boy works in the castle,
他说她用魔杖把他刺伤了
and he says she shot him with a magic wand.
以我鱼贩子的专业经验来看
Well, in my professional opinion as a fishmonger,
公主是个女巫
the princess is a witch.
她经常和那个
And she's always hanging out with
有大鼻子的黑猫混在一起
that black cat with the big nose
还要那个招人厌的精灵帽蛤♥蟆♥
and that annoying toad in the elf hat.
为什么她周围的人一直在死
And how come people always seem to die around her?
今天只要砒霜 谢谢
Just the arsenic today, thanks.
我听说 如果你直视她的眼睛
I heard, if you look her in the eyes,
她就会让你爱上她
she makes you fall in love with her,
然后把你变成蛤♥蟆♥
then turns you into a toad!
她就是对艾尔弗这么做的
And that's just what she did to Elfo.
所以他一直绿绿的 看起来很奇怪
That's why he's all green and weird-looking.
小声点 不然艾尔弗蛤♥蟆♥会听见我们的
Quiet, or Toad Elfo will hear us.
我一直都是绿绿的 长得很奇怪
I've been green and weird-looking all my life.
你们知道的 我得告诉小碧
You know that. I've gotta tell Bean.
小碧 你不会相信的
Bean, you're not gonna believe this.
都听好了 向大家宣布
Hear ye, hear ye! Let it be known
德里克王子将会继承王位
that Prince Derek shall be crowned king
蒂尔碧妮公主将以企图谋杀的女巫这一身份
and Princess Tiabeanie shall be tried
受到审判
for attempted murder as a witch!
我信了
I believe it.
国王 但爸爸不是还活着吗
King? But isn't Daddy still alive?
我恐怕他不能再统领王国了
I'm afraid he's in no shape whatsoever to rule.
我们需要一个像你一样拥有领导才能的人
And we need someone of your obvious leadership abilities.
但这些只是玩具兵
But these are just toy soldiers.
如果你把真正的士兵
It's best if you think of
也看得一文不值 那真是再好不过了
the real ones as cheap and expendable, too.