幻灭（2018）

as you can see right here,
我听说里面布有最先进的警报系统
which I hear has a state-of-the-art alarm system.
然后 我们把钱拿走
Then, we gotta get the money out.
我不太懂 这图是倒的
Oh, I don't know. This looks upside down to me.
别担心
Don't worry about it.
你只要带我们越过守卫
You just get us in the castle past the guards,
剩下的交给我们 最后在这里汇合
and we'll handle the rest. Then we'll rendezvous back here.
别管守卫了
Forget the guards.
最难的一关肯定是通过我爸
The hardest part is going to be getting past my dad.
懂吗 因为他体型很大
Get it? 'Cause he's so big?
就像个胖子一样
Like... He's like a fat man.
我开玩笑的 我一紧张就会说笑话
I'm kidding. I joke when I'm nervous.
我还挺害怕这种情况的
I'm actually really scared of the situation.
别担心 亲爱的 我们是一个团队
Don't worry, honey. We're all a team here.
我们都会为你打气
We're rootin' for ya.
搞砸了我立马翻脸
Blow this and I will turn on you so fast.
天哪 有马戏团来城♥堡♥了
Oh, boy, a circus right here in the castle!
我们甚至都不用挪屁♥股♥
And we don't even have to get off our fat asses.
我要对看到的每一样东西做现场转述
I'm gonna give a running commentary of everything I see.
爸 安静点 要开始了
Dad, be quiet. It's starting.
别担心
Don't worry.
不要一小时 就会结束了
We'll all be in and out of here in less than an hour.
但我将会永远珍藏这份回忆
But my memories will last a lifetime.
欢迎 欢迎
Welcome, welcome,
欢迎来到格里夫托大♥师♥的扯淡马戏团
welcome to Master Grifto's Flimflam Circus!
做好惊艳的准备吧 我敢说 会闪瞎你们的眼
Prepare to be amazed, dazzled, dare I say, blindsided?
因为今晚会是一个特殊的夜晚
Because tonight is a special night!
我们为国王专门准备了一个演出
The show we've got planned is fit only for a king.
好吧 我想还不错
Okay, yeah, that's pretty good, I guess. Sure.
你逗我玩呢吧
Are you freakin' kiddin' me with that?
他们在逗你玩
They are freakin' kiddin' you with this!
那边的家伙
This guy right there!
扔刀
Pull!
没扎到 没扎到 没扎到
Missed. Missed. Missed.
这太恶心人了
That's disgusting.
感觉没新花样了 是吗
Seems a little lackluster, no?
他没其他精灵那么有天赋
He's not as talented as the others.
也许他只是精灵的表亲
Maybe he's a cousin.
别摸我
一切按计划进行 顺带一提 巴掌宝被杀了
Everything's on schedule. Slight hiccup, they killed Slappo.
什么 -就是啊 他们怎么办到的
What? - I know! How'd they do it?
巴掌宝怎么了 天哪
What happened to Slappo? Oh, my God!
没事 一切正常
Everything's fine. It's fine.
谁说没事 有人死了 你怎么这么冷静
No, it isn't! Someone's dead! How are you so calm?
这就是现在的我 你一手造就的
This is who I am now. This is who you've made me.
你带我们经历了这么多生死攸关的时刻
You've gotten us into so many life-threatening scenarios,
我的身体都不会表现出恐惧了
my body no longer registers fear.
赶紧上去 小碧 -但是
Run on upstairs, Bean. - But--
快跑
Skedaddle.
蒂尔碧妮 -该死的
Tiabeanie. - Damn it.
自己解释一下吧 还有他们和楼上那家伙
Explain yourself. And them. And the guy on the floor.
就现在
Now.
我要拿出我的铃铛了
I'm reaching for my hand bell.
好吧
Well, see... Okay.
是这样的 我想让你知道
Here's the thing... that I wanted you to know,
就是 我们抱歉
which is... I'm sorry!
这道歉不怎么真诚啊
Ow! That apology doesn't seem very sincere.
该死的 跑过头了
Dang, I went too far.
你见过像这样的表演吗 太神奇了
Have you ever in your life seen anything like this? Amazing!
你现在喜欢精灵了 -当然 太精彩了
So, you like the elves now? - How could I not? So impressive!
小碧 这表演让我不禁思考
Beanie, this show has me thinkin'.
我不该向那些穷苦的精灵们强制征税
I shouldn't be taxing those poor elves the way I've been doin'.
他们对王国来说不是负担 而是欣喜
They're not a burden on the kingdom, they're a goddamn delight.
我要把钱还给他们 每一分都还
So I'm gonna give them back their money. Every last bit.
等等 什么
Wait, what?
我以为自己是出于正当原因才去做坏事的
I thought I was doing something bad for a good reason,
但事实证明 我只是做坏事而已
but it turns out I was just doing somethin' bad, you know?
是啊 我太熟悉
Mmm-hmm. Yeah, I'm familiar.
我先失陪一下
Would you please excuse me for a moment?
伙计们 伙计们
Guys! Guys!
我爸想把钱都还给精灵
My dad wants to give all the money back to the elves!
你们得终止行动 等等 出什么事了
We have to call it off! Wait, what the hell is going on?
事实上 公主
The thing is, Princess,
我们才不管那些臭精灵 我们是穴居人
we don't care about no stinkin' elves. We're trolls.
你们是装的 为什么
You were faking it? Why?
我们到处搞诈骗
We run scams all over the place.
当我在酒吧听到你的谈话
And when I overheard you at the bar,
我就知道这会是我们最成功的一场诈骗
I knew this would be our greatest scam of all.
恕我失陪
Now, if you'll excuse me,
我得上楼完成闭幕式了
I'm needed upstairs for the grand finale.
可惜你和你的小朋友见不到这一幕了
Too bad you and your little friend here are gonna miss it.
雪莉
Shelly?
你逃不了的 你这小东西
You'll never get away with this, you tiny little--
我的天 你这女人还真强壮
My goodness, you're a strong lady.
谢谢 我经历得太多了
Thank you. I've been through a lot.
小碧 -怎么了 艾尔弗
Bean? - What, Elfo?
有一次 我有麻烦了
One time I got in trouble,
我爸把我捆成这样
and Daddy Elfo tied me up like this, and um...
然后他抽我屁♥股♥
he slapped me on the bum-bum.
你现在说这个干嘛
Why are you bringing this up right now?
大伙们 我真的很荣幸
Well, folks, it's been a real pleasure.
希望你们能享受与我们共度的这一晚
I hope you enjoyed your time with us tonight.
三 二 一
Three, two, one!
别对表演艺术产生坏印象
Don't let this reflect badly on the performing arts.
小碧和艾尔弗呢 -他们怂了
Where's Bean and Elfo? - They chickened out.
我就知道 这年头谁都不能信
I knew it. Can't trust anybody these days.
这闭幕式真不错
That was a wonderful finale.
听听这铃♥声♥ 整个城♥堡♥都快乐起来了
Listen to all them bells. The whole castle is happy.
蒂尔碧尼 每个公主都梦想着
Tiabeanie, every princess dreams of the moment
被帅气的骑士解救 你的梦想成真了
she gets rescued by a handsome knight. Your moment is now.
这句台词你准备多久了
Ugh. How long you been waitin' to use that line?
两周吧 我一直在上勾引课
Two weeks. I've been taking seduction classes.
快给我松绑 -好的
Dude, just untie me. - Okay.
好吧 这是最后一袋了 真够累的
All right, that's the last of it. Quite the haul.
肯定能帮上不少精灵
Gonna help a lot of elves with all this.
是啊 帮助精灵 咱就是为了这个
Yeah, helping elves. That's what it's all about.
我一直以能够了解别人
I pride myself on knowing people,
我可以肯定 你是个好人 格里夫托
and I can tell you're a good guy, Grifto.
是啊 你也是很好的 你是什么 土豚吗
Yeah, and you're a real nice... What are you, like an aardvark?
别担心
Don't you worry,
我们保证每一个金币都用在正确的地方
we'll make sure these coins get to the right place.
记得回来看看 听到了吗
Y'all come back now, you hear?
不 他们逃走了 他们逃走了
No! They got away? They got away!
当然 好多袋金币
Sure did. So many bags of coins.
不敢相信马车居然都装下了
Can't believe they all fit in the carriage.
坏人 他们
Bad guys, they...
我的天 我是骑马来的
My God, I rode a horse.
为什么我会像跑来的一样喘粗气
Why am I breathing like I ran here?
他们朝哪儿走了 也许我们能追上
Well, which way did they go? Maybe we can still catch them.
是啊 我们会砍下他们的头
Yes! And we'll cut off their heads
然后示街游♥行♥ 以表警告
and parade them through the street as a warning!
天哪
Good God.
没必要 他们已经跑了
No need. They're already gone.
我猜此时此刻
Yeah, I bet at this very moment,
他们肯定在一边休息 一边嘲笑你们这些笨蛋
they're kicking back and having a good laugh at you suckers.
他在嘲讽我们吗
Is he mocking us?
是啊 但当他把手放在屁♥股♥上时
Yes, but when he puts his hand on his hip,
通常只是在表明观点
he's usually making a point.
请说得有意义一点
Please let there be a point.
好的 他们会一直笑 直到他们发现
Yep, they'll be laughing right up until the moment...
"美味巧克力币"
"E pluribus num num"?