幻灭（2018）

And then you won't like my wife, but later, I'll divorce her,
最后我们成为比以前更要好的朋友 怎么样
and we'll be better friends than ever, okay?
我该回去了
I'd better go.
我准备睡觉之前再哭泣一小时
I try to get an hour of weeping in before I go to sleep.
明天见 小粘粘
See you tomorrow, Slimy.
多希望你是我的姐姐
I wish you were my sister.
天啊 你刚吃了一只海鸥吗
Oh, my God. Did you just eat that seagull?
我也总这么干
'Cause that's what I do.
第十七章
爱是粘粘的拥抱
你没能给我弄到长生灵药
You couldn't give me the Elixir of Life.
至少得帮我得痛风吧
The least you could do is give me a nice disease.
但是我许下过巫师誓言
But I've taken the Wizardocratic Oath.
我的鬼把戏只能用来行善
I can only use my flimflam for good.
我不能帮你得痛风
I cannot help you get gout.
那我就找个愿意帮忙的人
Then, I'll find somebody who will.
我我我我我
Me, me, me, me, me.
你你你你你什么
You, you, you, you, you?
本来我已经放弃了散播苦难的职业生涯
I kind of gave up my dream job making people suffer,
但帮助一个人类暴饮暴食直到生病的话
but helping a human overindulge to the point of illness?
我想我义不容辞
I think you could be my masterpiece.
太好吃了
This is good.
你还有什么
What else you got?
用培根卷的雪茄 专为酒囊饭袋定制的
It's a bacon-wrapped cigar, you fat tub of lard.
你被录用了
You're hired.
德里克 咋了爷们
Yo, Derek. What's up, my man?
我还不是个爷们
Well, I'm not actually a man yet.
但有时候我看到书里的动物标本
Though, sometimes, I do get a funny tingle
的确会有一种莫名的兴奋感
when I read about taxidermy.
好吧 我看你没有朋友挺寂寞的
Anyway, you seem kind of lonely without friends,
所以我就想 那个
so I figured I'd, you know...
过来看看你怎么样了
I'd just drop by, see what's up in here.
我有一个朋友 你想见见他吗
Well, I have a friend. You want to meet him?
好呀 你好 德里克的幻想朋友
Sure. Hi, Derek's invisible friend.
很高兴见到你
Pleased to meet you.
他不是幻想出来的 他住在海边的池子里
He's not invisible. He lives in a tide pool.
我在找暗门的时候发现了这个暗门
I discovered this door when I was looking for hidden doors.
每天晚上老鼠应该就是从这里溜进房♥间的
I think this is how the rats get into my room at night.
小心 台阶很滑
Watch out. These steps are slippery.
一个隐蔽的 发臭的密室
A secret, smelly chamber.
这些奇怪的小瓶子是干嘛用的
What the hell are those weird little bottles?
这不是瓶子 你个蠢货 这是瓦罐
They aren't bottles, you stupid moron. They're amphorae.
卡住了
It's stuck.
你知道吗 这片海滩上可以裸体
You know, this is a clothing optional beach.
拉倒吧
No.
艾尔弗 来见见小粘粘
Elfo, meet Slimy.
小粘粘 出来打个招呼 来啊朋友
Slimy, come say hi! Come on, boy!
他有点社恐
He's socially awkward.
能喂他点东西吃就好了
I wish we had something to feed him.
他除了松果什么都吃
He'll eat anything except pinecones.
小粘粘 你长大了
Oh, Slimy, you're getting bigger!
他是一只独眼章鱼
He's a one-eyed octopus.
你认识他多久了
So, how long have you known him?
他是我最久的朋友 认识四天了
Oh, he's my oldest friend. Four days.
艾尔弗 你愿意发挥自己的想象力吗
Hey, Elfo, do you like to use your imagination?
不
No.
接招吧
En garde!
小心点 木棍上长藤壶 了
Hey, careful with that stick. It's got barnacles.
那是我剑上的宝石
Yeah, those are the jewels.
我的右鼻孔
My right nostril.
差点就要了我的命
A near-mortal blow.
我胜利了
Victory!
现在你就是我胖胖的俘虏了
You are now my portly prisoner.
不 我受不了被折磨 我意志薄弱
No! I'll break under torture. I'm very weak-willed.
等会等会 这些都是啥
Wait, wait, wait, wait. What is all this?
肺片面包 猪油蛋糕 猪血汤
Lung loaf, lard cakes, blood gravy,
猪肝肉球 还有饮用芝士
liver balls and drinkable cheese.
好吧
Oh, okay.
多喝点容易得痛风
Down the hatch, gouty.
就这么吃下去很快你就会身患绝症了
Keep this up and you'll be gravely ill in no time.
那盘肉丸子吃光没
You done with that plate of balls yet?
还差一个
One more.
我到底是怎么想的
What was I thinking?
别嘟囔了 有客人来了
Quit your moanin'. You got a visitor.
你看不出来我现在痛苦万分吗
Can't ya see that I'm in excruciating pain here?
我的脚趾肿的像个西瓜一样
My toe is swollen up like a blood melon.
现在这样我可不待客
I'm in no shape to see nobody.
是闪光镇公爵
It's the Duke of Twinkletown.
让他进来
Send him in.
老天爷啊 佐格国王 看来传言说的是真的
My God, King Zog. So the fantastical stories were true.
这是我见过最壮观的脚指头
It's the most glorious thing I've ever seen.
可以让我碰一下吗
Do you deign that I might touch it?
碰吧
I so deign.
叮当
Doink.
诸王之王的国王啊
Oh, King of King of Kings,
我在这世上最雄壮最肥大的脚趾面前俯首称臣
I bow before the greatest, fattest toe in the land.
一切痛苦都值了 现在给我看看你的脚趾
It was worth it. Now, show me your toe.
没人给你讲过痛风的下一个阶段吗
No one told you about the next stage of gout?
请看吧
Oh, my. Check this out.
没错 医生把坏掉的脚截肢了
That's right. They chopped off my infected foot.
可惜这年代麻醉剂还没发明出来
It's a shame anesthesia hasn't been invented yet.
你就等着瞧好吧
You're in for a treat.
接见到此为止了 公爵 快滚吧
Okay, show's over. Duke, scram your ass out of here.
那会说话的黑猫真嚣张
That talking cat was so bossy.
又怎么了
What now? Oh!
监狱
你要是能把面包直接递给我就好了
I would prefer it if you would just pass me the bread.
我的监狱我说了算
My jail, my rules.
艾尔弗 你以前还挺酷的 怎么堕落了
Oh, Elfo, you were almost cool, and now look at you.
他就是很酷 他依字母顺序整理了我的娃娃
He is cool. He alphabetized my stuffed animals.
别乱动娃娃 上面全是虱子
Don't touch 'em. They're crawling with lice.
监狱
出什么事了 -不知道
What was that? - I don't know.
这城♥堡♥里总有惨叫声
But there's always screaming around here.
毕竟下面就是地牢
I mean, we do have a dungeon,
还有拷问室 托儿所 还有
and a torture chamber and a day care center and also--
听声音不是托儿所的孩子 快去看看谁死了
That's no toddler scream. Let's see who died.
应该是痛风爆♥炸♥了
I think the duke exploded from gout.
吸盘的痕迹 触手形状的伤口
Suction marks, tentacle hole...
这人是被章鱼杀死的
This man was obviously killed with an octopus.
你喝多了吗
What are you, high?
你给我闭嘴 城♥堡♥里有杀人凶手
Quiet, you. There's a murderer loose in the castle.
要小心能控制章鱼的男人或女人
Be on the lookout for a man or woman or elf
或者精灵
wielding an octopus.
小碧 你的父亲可以帮我们抓住凶手
Bean, your dad can help us catch the murderer.
他是有史以来最伟大的战士
He's the greatest warrior of all time.
我的拖鞋掉了 能帮我捡一下吗
My slipper fell off. Can you get it?
下水道里有一条可怕的大虫子
Big, scary worm is down in hole.
行了行了
Sure, sure.
十分钟之前你还说有个可怕的大影子跟着你
Ten minutes ago, there was a big, scary shadow following you.
我说的是实话
Two things can be real.
站住 是谁
Halt! Who goes there?
我说站住 不许再滑行了
I said halt, not slither!
只要他还在这一层 就能抓到他
As long as he's on this floor, we got him.
或者她 -我打赌是奥德瓦干的
Or her. - I bet it's Odval.
任何比我眼睛多或少的人我都不相信
I can't trust anyone with more or fewer eyes than I have.
你们了解了奥狄之后就会发现他是个好人
Oh, Oddie's a good guy once you get to know him.
重要的是大家团结在一起
The important thing is that we stick together
组成一个缓慢而强大的整体
in a big, moving clump of safety.
这样就没有人能
That way, no one--
德里克
Derek!
小碧 跟我来
Bean, come with me.
谁把我转过去 我什么也看不见