幻灭（2018）

吃第六个肉桂卷也理所应当
you deserve that sixth cinnamon roll.
这一幕
Now, this scene...
这一幕尤其艰难
This scene in particular is tough.
你看 我不确定我们要
You see, I'm not sure how we...
爸爸
Dad!
你向妈妈求婚的时候
When you proposed to Mom...
他们为什么要把郁金香拔掉
Why are they ripping out all the tulips?
我准备建一个射箭场
I'm putting in an archery range.
我想采用一种站着不动的运动方式
I wanted a form of exercise that was mostly standing still.
听上去不错
Sounds great.
有一次你跟我提起过
Okay, so one time you told me
你是怎么向妈妈求婚的 那是
how you proposed to Mom. Was it--
我不记得了
I don't remember.
我还没问问题呢
I didn't even ask the question yet.
往事已矣
What's past is past.
我也不想再回想了
And I'm not interested in reliving it.
但是达格玛曾是你生活的一部分
But Dagmar was part of your life,
我是说 二十年来 是我们生活的一部分
I mean, both our lives, for almost 20 years.
我们不能装作没有发生过
We can't just pretend that never happened.
我是国王 我想做什么就做什么
I'm king! I can do whatever I want!
比如说在工具间里躲到我离开
Like hide in the toolshed until I go away?
可能吧
Maybe.
我不需要帮助 这故事就是我的生活
I don't need anybody's help. I lived this story.
它是我的一部分 我会让它栩栩如生的
It's a part of me and I am going to make it real.
妻子 你伤害了我 你的心冷若冰霜
You wound me, wife. Your heart is as if gripped by ice.
占据我心的是高于你那琐碎世俗的忧虑
I am gripped by purpose higher than thy petty, worldly concerns.
"你的尽是虚幻 但一场浩大战争中
"Thou art but one fallen horseman
一个落马的骑士比你所想伟大得多"
in a grand battle waged far beyond your understanding."
"在战争中落败只是一次死亡
"To fall in battle is merely one death.
在真爱的背叛中沦陷却是百般折磨"
To fall in true love's betrayal is a hundred score."
退场 闭幕
"Exit stage right, and scene."
漂亮 中等级别天才写出的令人心碎之作
Bravo! A heartbreaking work of average-to-moderate genius.
这可是梦幻之杰作
A dramatic tour de force, it was.
我从来没有坐下来专注这么久
I've never been permitted to sit down for this long.
不对 我期待的是医学惊悚题材
Meh. I was really hoping for more of a medical thriller.
写得太棒了 好评
Terrific work. First-rate.
想以自杀庆祝吗 -不要
Want to celebrate with a little suicide? - No!
各司其职而已
Just doin' my job.
你准备把剧本怎么处理
So, where does your script go now?
扔垃圾桶吗 还是扔到屋外
Rubbish bin, outhouse?
我觉得应该到舞台上演出
Well, I think it should be performed onstage.
写得非常好 但是我也不懂
It's quite brilliant, but what do I know?
真的不太懂
Not much, really.
梦想之地剧院
通向舞台
蒂尔碧妮公主
Princess Tiabeanie?
请问能否把我写的剧本交给 -不行
Hi. I wanted to ask if I could submit my play-- -No.
我能预约和 -不行
Can I make an appointment to-- - No.
我就想问问我能不能 -不能
I'd just like to see if I'd be able to-- - No.
那我至少能进剧场吗 -不能
Can I please just come into the theater? - No.
为什么这世上除了我以外的所有人
Why is it that everyone else in the whole world
都能走进那扇门
can just march right in that door except me?
你不知道吗 -不知道什么
Oh. You didn't know? - Didn't know what?
女人居然不能在剧场工作
Women aren't allowed to work in theater!
小碧 我知道你很失望
I know you must be disappointed, Bean,
但你在期待什么呢
but what did you expect?
像战争和选美比赛评审什么的
Like war and beauty-contest judging,
剧场是男人们神圣的工作之地
theater is the noble work of men.
太荒谬了
That's ridiculous.
女人不能在剧场工作 毫无理由
There's no reason women can't do theater.
这想法大错特错 还有什么 男人婆
It's a slippery slope. What's next, male cows?
知道吗 我很擅长滑板
You know, I, myself, have been known to tread the boards.
真的滑板吗
Real boards?
我在闪光镇大学时
In my days at Twinkletown University,
我是年度蠢材的不二人选
I was the toast of the annual follies.
我的粉丝们惊叹于我的才华
My fans, stunned by my talent,
用自♥制♥的砖块和熟透的番茄砸我
showered me with homemade bricks and fresh, ripe tomatoes.
都过去了 我的光辉岁月
Bygone days. The most glorious time of my life.
你好 我知道你们
Hello. I understand women are prohibited
不让女人在剧场工作
from working in the theater.
没错
Yep.
那猪呢 -进来吧
How about pigs? - Come on in.
我得警告你 我身上都是自己的粪便
I must warn you, I am smeared in my own manure.
我说了 进来吧
I said, come on in.
你让他们演出我的剧本了 天哪 谢谢你
You got them to put on my play? Oh, my gosh, thank you!
恶心
Ew.
但是 有一个小问题
Though, there is one small condition.
他们以为是我的剧本
They think it's my play.
你说什么 什么叫"你的剧本"
What? What do you mean, "Your play"?
我没跟他们解释清楚
Well, I couldn't very well tell them
这剧本是一个女人写的
it was written by a woman.
出名的可能是我 但是赚的钱都是你的
The credit may go to me, but the payment is all yours.
你用印我头像的钱支付我吗 我不需要钱
You're paying me with me? I don't need money.
我写这个剧本是为了
I wrote the play so I could come to terms
展现我的家庭 我的过去
with my family and my past.
我为此倾注心血
I poured my heart and soul into it.
你不能明码标价
You can't put a price on that.
就算是建议都是侮辱人
It's an insult to even suggest it.
我拿走了 谢谢
I'll just be taking this, thanks.
幸运的是 我让他们给我了一个
Fortunately, I got them to give me
比现金更值钱的东西
something far more valuable than cash.
领衔主演
The starring role.
你要扮演我吗
Whoa, you're starring as me?
我的角色是这个剧目的核心
My character's the star of the play.
我不得不做一些调整
I had to make a few adjustments.
悲伤
Sad.
小碧 -怎么了
Bean? - What?
我有个问题 请别把我扔出窗外
I have a question. Don't throw me out the window.
这不是个问题
That's not a question.
请别把我扔出窗外吗
Don't throw me out the window?
我还有一个问题
Also, I have a second question.
我可以去剧院给你当间谍
I could go down to the theater and be your little spy.
这也不是个问题吧
That's not a question, either.
我觉得有个小个子可能要被扔出窗外了哦
I think someone tiny's going out the window.
我讨厌你们
I hate you guys!
即将上演
《国王与我》
由韦蒙德·小气编剧 导演
我不识字 但我喜欢新造型和花体字
I can't read, but I like them new shapes and squiggles.
我不喜欢尖尖的那种字
I don't like the pointy ones.
好吧 排练吧
All right, let's rehearse.
第一幕 第二场 佐格与达格玛
Act one, scene two, Zog and Dagmar,
由韦蒙德·小气编剧 导演
written and directed by Wymond Petty.
等等 你居然抢功劳
Wait, you're taking credit?
如果你不高兴
If you're not happy,
在肉铺有出戏在选角 叫《猪排二号♥》
they're casting for Pork Chop Number Two at the butcher shop.
《猪排二号♥》
Pork Chop Number Two?
我可不是普通肉饼 我是领衔火腿
I'm no common cutlet, I'm a leading ham!
那就赶紧演
Then, action.
诗人写诗从未写过如此崇高的快乐
The poets ne'er wrote of pleasures so sublime.
我无上的王国河山 让我大饱眼福
My glorious kingdom, a feast for my eyes.
我无上的新娘 灵魂的早午餐
My glorious bride, a brunch for my soul.
早午餐
For my soul.
该达格玛了
Cue Dagmar!
快去叫医生
Get a doctor, now!
我见过这个场景 死亡
I've seen this before. Death.
他这一辈最好的演员
The finest actor of his generation,
第一次排练就被♥干♥掉了
struck down at his first rehearsal.
我觉得可能是因为主演的妆画的不好
I think maybe it was the lead makeup.
你总是这么说
That's what you always say.
现在脱掉他的衣服 把尸体扔到巷子里去
Now take off his clothes and throw his corpse in the alley.
别忘了把假发摘下来
Don't forget the wig.
我太倒霉了 现在谁做我的达格玛呢