十字剑

Would you shut up about heroes?!
看看我这该死的脸
Look at my fucking face!
行 是我偷了那些宝石
Know what? I stole those gems.
是我害了大家
I started us down this path.
我必须下去
I've gotta go down there.
我只是从没想过 宣誓保护王国的人
I just never thought it'd be a question
跟不跟我一起去 会成为一个问题
whether the realm's sworn protectors went with me.
够了 帕特里克 别高谈阔论了
Alright, Patrick, enough preachy‐preachy.
你想下到地狱的咽喉里
You wanna go down into the jaws of Hell?
我给你一小时 然后我就炸毁大坝
I'll give you one hour before I blow the dam.
可以吧
Fair?
我接受
I'll take it.
真希望你们和我并肩作战 但就这样吧
I wish I had you by my side, but I'll take it.
你加入吗
You in?
当然 在地下被后院的害虫吃掉
Hell yeah. Dying underground, eaten by backyard pests?
这是我梦寐以求的英雄之死
That's the hero's death I've been craving.
谢了 帕特里克
Thanks, Patrick.
别着急 公主
Not so fast, Princess.
没有骑士陪护 你哪儿都不能去 规矩就是规矩
You're not allowed anywhere without an escort knight. Rules are rules.
行吧 那你们来个人
Fine. Give me one of yours.
绝对不行
Absolutely not.
是吗 既然我这么需要骑士
Oh yeah? If I need a knight so bad,
我他妈就自己封一个
maybe I'll fucking make one!
等等 这是真的吗
Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Is this really happening?
你是骑士了 我们走吧 帕特里克爵士
Boop, boop, you're a knight. Okay, let's go, Sir Patrick.
帕特里克爵士...
Sir Patrick... Sir Patrick...
我现在是骑士了...
So, I'm a knight now...
这真是莫大的荣幸...
This is such an honor...
你也是骑士了 -等下 什么
Boop, boop. You're a knight, too. ‐ Wait, what?
也是时候了 对吧
Wow! I mean, about time, huh?
我想感谢很多人
There's so many people I wanna thank.
我也是骑士了 走吧
Boop, boop! I'm a knight! Come on!
真棒 真好 随便了
Great, fine, whatever.
希望你们在我们放水前能回到地面
Hope you make it back to the surface before we start the Drownening.
祝你好运 帕特里克爵士
Good luck, Sir Patrick.
希望我们不会错过放水
Aw, I hope we don't miss the Drownening.
好了 计划如下 我们要躲开鼹鼠
Okay, so here's the plan. We're gonna avoid the moles,
找到国王和王后 然后逃出来
find the king and queen, and get out.
注意听我指令 保持绝对安静
Watch for my signal, and be very quiet.
布罗斯 想来场尖叫比赛吗 -好
Broth, wanna have a screaming contest? ‐ Yes.
不行
No!
天啊 帕特里克 你太鲁莽了
Jeez, Patrick! Reckless!
我听到声音了
I hear something!
没准是不错的好东西
It's probably something good and not bad.
去那里
There!
好吧...
Okay...
帕特里克 我们应该能打过它们
Patrick, I think we can take 'em.
那什么 我算错数了 我们绝对打不过
You know what? I did the math wrong. We absolutely cannot take them.
立刻给我现身
Show yourselves at once!
或者挑个你们喜欢的时间地点
Or at a time and place of your choosing.
重要的是你们怎么开心怎么来
The important thing is that you feel comfortable.
我的...
My...
天啊
God!
你太可爱了
Oh, you are so cute!
谁是可爱的小南瓜
Aw, who's a little pumpkin pie?
你是 你的新名字是小花花
You are. Your new name is Blossom Junior.
没错
Yes, it is.
它们可能仍然很危险
They could still be dangerous.
我们应该砍死这些婴儿来示♥威♥吗
Should we hack these babies to death as a power move?
你说了算 帕特里克
Say the word, Patrick.
它们太多了
There are so many.
谁知道它们在这待多久了
Who knows how long they've been down here,
它们是不是因为栖息地被侵犯了才攻击我们
and they only attacked us after we drilled into their habitat.
就像我们这些万恶的资本家一样
Like the capitalist pigs we are.
万一它们是爱好和平的呢
What if they're peaceful?
要是能跟它们对话就好了
If only there was a way to talk to them.
我 是 帕特里克
I. Am. Patrick.
人类和鼹鼠
Human and mole.
和谐地一起打嗝 -不是
Belching in harmony. ‐ No.
它意思应该是我们有办法沟通
I think it means there's a way for us to communicate.
难道这颗宝石能把鼹鼠语言的知识
Could this gem transmit knowledge of the mole language
直接传入我的大脑
directly into my brain?
难道这门科学远远超出我们人类的理解
Is this science so far beyond our human understanding
以至于我们感觉它就是魔法
that it seems to us not unlike magic?
什么...
What the...
你说的是法语吗 切换成英语
What is that, French? Make the switch to English.
英语才是未来 它没有重音符号♥
It's the future, baby. No accent marks,
我们也不在乎拼写
and we pull spellings right out of our ass.
猜猜我们在军队怎么拼写"上校" 试试嘛
In the army, guess how we spell "colonel". Just fuckin' try.
我知道是怎么回事了
Oh, I see what this is about.
行吧 我跟你签分时租赁合同
Fine, fine. Yeah, I'll sign up for the timeshare.
天啊 我要跟谁指交
Jesus Crumb. Who do I have to finger bang
才能达成交易 我不效忠于谁
to cut a deal around here? I have no allegiances,
而且在法律上和床上都非常灵活
and am willing to flip sides, both legally and sexually.
帕特里克
Patrick?
帕特里克
Patrick.
帕特里克 我叫托德
Patrick, my name is Todd.
我算是这儿的公♥关♥
I'm kinda the public relations guy down here.
我扶你起来
Let me help you up.
谢了 托德
Thanks, Todd.
谁是托德
Um, who's Todd?
等下 托德 我能听懂你的话
Wait! Todd, I can understand you!
它们把帕特里克搞疯了
They broke Patrick!
你头部受到的撞击影响了你的听力
The blow to the head affected your hearing.
现在 我们的高音在人类可容忍♥的频率上共振了
Now, our high‐pitched voices resonate at a tolerable human frequency.
副作用可能包括失去平衡
Side effects may include fucking up your balance.
我们还有时间
We still have time.
拉弓
Pull!
看来时间到了
Looks like time's up!
感觉有一小时了吧
That felt like an hour, right?
去他的 沙漏能有多准确呢
Oh, screw it. It's sand falling through a hole, how accurate can it be?
几世纪以来
For centuries,
我们一直在容忍♥你们地上的人把垃圾
we tolerated you surface people throwing trash
和偶尔的凶案受害人扔到大坑里
and the occasional murder victim down into the big pit.
你是说无底洞 它不是无底的
You mean the bottomless pit? It's not bottomless?
当然了 我们生活在一个球体上
Of course it's not bottomless! We live on a globe!
怎么可能掉进球体里 不撞到什么东西
How do you fall forever into a globe and not hit something?
这不重要 当你们开始侵犯我们的主♥权♥领土
Never mind that. When you started invading our sovereign territory
偷走那些宝石 我们不得不反击
to steal those gems, we had to act.
我们击沉了你们的一些地面建筑物作为警告
We sunk several of your surface monuments as warnings.
一些建筑物 哪些
Several monuments? Which ones?
我想想 一座大金字塔
Let's see. A large pyramid,
一座完全由大♥麻♥织成的城♥堡♥
a castle woven entirely from hemp,
还有一个床垫批发仓库
and a wholesale mattress warehouse.
拉米国王 托弗国王和托尼·索丁
King Rami, King Topher, Tony Saltine?
这下麻烦大了
Oh, that's gonna be trouble.
我们甚至用你们的石头男孩发出了最后警告
We even sent one final warning with your boy made out of stone.
巴瑞 怪不得他身上写满了记号♥
Barry! That's why he had all that writing on him!
所以 我们别无选择
And so, we had no choice.
你们的统治者正在受到我们王国的审判
Your rulers are on trial for their crimes against our kingdom.
但这一切都不是故意发生的
But none of this happened on purpose!
这只不过是一堆愚蠢的决定
It was just a bunch of dumb decisions
长年累月地叠加在一起
that kept piling up on top of one another.
是的 历史一般就是这样的
Yeah. That's generally how history works.
这就是"小肚腩"一词的由来
And that's how you get the word "gunt".
法语能这样吗
Try doing that in French.
等下 -谢天谢地
Wait! ‐ Oh, thank God!
我的蒜香面包终于送来了
My garlic knots are finally here.
妈咪 爹地
Mama! Daddy!
他们还活着
They're alive!
没有花花国王了