十字剑

Crossing Swords S02E01

Part 4 Jan. 5, 2022, 4:30 p.m.

不行没听我刚说的吗
No! What did I just tell you?
据说就算只拿走一个宝石
They say doom befalls anyone
都会有厄运降临
who removes even one of these gems.
我要走了
Well, I'll be on my way now!
但记住别碰那些宝石
But remember, don't touch the gems!
宝石... 宝石... 宝石...
Gems... gems... gems...
它们被诅咒了诅咒... 诅咒... 诅咒...
Cursed! Cursed... cursed... cursed...
有回声回声... 回声... 回声...
Echo! Echo... echo... echo...
孩子这罐金子应该能让你
Well, kid, this gold should keep
不用被老鼠啃脸了只要你不再闯祸
the rats off your face until you screw up again.
太感谢了库特尔爵士
Thanks for everything, Sir Kutter.
我不喜欢你一直说我没趣
I didn't love you constantly dragging me for being lame,
但你是对的成为骑士一定很有意思
but you're right. Being a knight should be fun.
我需要拥抱冒险和刺♥激♥的感觉
I need to embrace the adventure and the excitement.
孩子走出去 "煮"出你人生吧
Get out there and fondue it, kid.
你现在可以喝解药了吧
I hope you're gonna take that antidote now?
你知道吗我也从你身上学到了东西
You know what? I learned something from you, too.
我还没准备好去死
I'm not ready to hang it up yet.
也许我就是个无所忌惮的疯子
Maybe I'm a wild card with a devil-may-care attitude,
但同时我可能是因为离婚得了抑郁症
but also, maybe I'm clinically depressed about my divorce
需要寻求治疗
and should seek treatment.
我要继续活下去
I shall live another day!
解药在打斗中被砸破了现在空了
The antidote was damaged during the battle and is now empty.
糟了那你怎么办
Oh no! What are you gonna do?
我们来时经过了一家药店如果我冲过去
We passed a drugstore on the way. If I run at a solid sprint,
应该能及时赶到
I should make it there in time.
还有件事能借我二十吗
One more thing. Could you float me $20?
我周五拿工资...
I get paid Friday...
我♥操♥ 他竟然爆♥炸♥了
Holy shit! He fucking exploded!
这毒药里有什么啊
What was in that poison?!
我得说这种死法确实够疯的
I gotta say, as deaths go, that was pretty wild card.
看我找到了什么
Look what I found.
你都不敢相信拿到它
You wouldn't believe the hell
有多艰难 -就这么多
I had to go through to get this. - That's it?
这就是一整罐了把啃脸的老鼠拿上来
That's the whole pot? Fetch the face rats.
等下我还带回来了这个
Wait, wait! I also got you this.
好家伙帕特里克你可真会做铺垫
Oogly-moogly, Patrick. Way to bury the lead.
你在哪找到的
Where'd you find these?
这附近有个山洞里面堆满了宝石
Oh, there's a whole cave filled with them not too far from the castle,
但我被警告绝不要碰它们...
but I was warned to never touch them,
碰它们... 碰它们
touch them, touch them.
我们绝对会碰它们的好吧
We're gonna touch 'em, alright.
要像猥琐的叔叔一样对它们下手
Touch 'em like a bad uncle.
你是史上最了不起的侍卫这次是真的
You're the greatest squire ever, for real this time.
有一天你会成为很棒的骑士
And someday, you're gonna make one hell of a knight.
谢谢您陛下
Thank you, Your Majesty.
既然现在我又富有了
Well, now that I'm rich again,
我要去把钱浪费在没用的东西上了
I'm off to squander money on something pointless.
别着急陛下你还有...
Not so fast, Your Majesty. You got some...
一些事没做完
unfinished business.
灌屁♥股♥ 灌屁♥股♥
Butt chug! Butt chug!
这就像反方向拉屎
It's like pooping in reverse.
而且没你想象的那么好玩
Which is not as much fun as you'd think.
灌屁♥股♥
Butt chug!
太棒了
That was amazing.