十字剑

毒品让她变绿了
The drugs are turning her green!
这真是又酷又悲剧
That is so awesome and tragic.
躺倒的应该是我
Should be me lying there.
我要找到毒品 把它们一次性全干了
I'm gonna find the drugs and do them all at the same time.
赶紧 我们得救她
Come on! We can't lose her!
该死 我们不能进去
Damn it! We can't go in there.
帕特里夏 不用难为情
Patricia, don't be self‐conscious.
每个人的身体都是美丽的
All bodies are beautiful.
布罗斯 首先我们是成年人
Broth, we are "A," grownups,
其次我们是男的 而且我们还是警♥察♥
"B," penis‐havers, and "C," cops.
你说得对
Ah, you're right!
我们不能进 但克莱门汀可以
We can't go in, but Clementine can.
什么... 你... 你就是克莱门汀啊
Wha... Y... Clementine is you.
布罗斯就是克莱门汀
Broth is Clementine! Huh?
好了 给你
Okay, here you go.
这件事要一路追溯到...
This thing goes all the way to the top...
艺术部的高层
of the art department.
布利克太太 听说你有那玩意儿
Ms. Blick? We hear you have the goods.
是那一次吗
Oh, is it that time?
永远都是那次
It's always that time!
以后可能麻烦了
That could be trouble down the road.
每包五块
Five bucks each.
你的生意结束了 布利克
You're out of business, Blick!
去你的 你们今天休想抢劫我
Oh, hell no! I'm not getting robbed today!
我们不是想抢劫你
We're not trying to rob you!
只是想把你绑起来
We're only trying to tie you up!
我为问题青年提供艺术治疗
I taught art therapy to at‐risk youth!
你们以为能吓到我吗
You think you can scare me?!
接招吧 你这嗑药的嬉皮士
Eat this, you drug‐pushing hippie!
干得漂亮 克莱
Good thinking, Clem!
该死 快跑
Ah, shit! Run!
妈的
Ah shit!
天啊 这个窑炉有儿童安全锁
Jesus Christ! The kiln has a childproof lock!
捏住然后扭开 他妈的快点
Pinch and twist! Pinch and motherfucking twist!
打不开
It won't open!
她可能是睡着了
Maybe she fell asleep?
我要吐了
I'm gonna puke!
碧斯克 你有毒品能给我吗
Bisque! Do you have any drugs I can eat?
我想让自己增加一些声望
I'm trying to slap some cred on this ass.
首先 就算我有 我也不会给你
First, if I had drugs, I wouldn't give them to you.
其次 别在我练习领衔独唱的时候
Second, don't interrupt me while I'm practicing
打扰我
for my extra lead solo.
怎么有这么多台阶
Why so many stairs?!
我可能是个烂俗婊 但你是地窖碧
I may be a basic bitch, but you're a basement Bisque!
可惜没人听到
No one heard me.
我今天过得很不顺 你们最好有好消息
I've had a very stressful day. You better have good news.
毒品找到了
Here are your drugs,
还有毒贩子 这个骨灰瓮是布罗斯做的
and here is your drug dealer. Broth made the urn.
强烈的女权主义暗喻
A strong feminist metaphor.
这正是她所希望的
It's what she would've wanted.
小伙子们 做得好
Good work, hoes.
梅里曼 我最初对于你的手下的
Merriman, at first, I was skeptical
卧底行动持怀疑态度 但我现在大为改观
about your men running around undercover, but color me impressed.
这不是毒品 这是卫生棉条
These aren't drugs. They're tampons!
卫生棉条
Tampons?!
等下 这不是最近丧偶的布利克太太的手提包吗
Wait a minute. Isn't that recently widowed Ms. Blick's tote bag?
好了 说真的 我们得认真讨论下
Okay, real talk. We need to have a serious discussion
谁在庆典上当主唱的问题
about who's singing lead at the ceremony.
这看着像是两度战胜乳腺癌的
That looks like one of the tampons two‐time
布利克太太卖♥♥的卫生棉条
breast cancer survivor Ms. Blick sells.
布利克太太卖♥♥棉条
Ms. Blick sells tampons?
当然了
Hell yeah, she does!
厕所里的免费卫生巾跟砂纸似的
Those free pads in the bathroom are like sandpaper.
搞得月经期的每天都像周二的卷饼日
It's like every day of your period is raw taco Tuesday.
对吧 克莱门汀
Am I right, Clementine?
姐妹 不必多说
Preach, girlfriend.
你这是怎么了 算了 我不在乎
What the hell happened to you? Who cares.
总之 我听说布利克太太的新品是三叶草香型
Anyway, I heard Ms. Blick's latest batch is clover‐scented,
而且所有利润都会捐给一个
and all the proceeds go to a charity
帮吸毒的小狗找领养的慈善机构
that helps drug‐addicted puppies get adopted!
我的天 没有布利克太太的世界
Like, oh my god! I wouldn't wanna live in a world
会是什么样啊
without Ms. Blick!
我得躺会儿
Oh, I need to lie down.
布利克太太真了不起
Ms. Blick is exceptional.
虽然她很爱生气 但人无完人
Quick to anger, but nobody's perfect.
我们要在今天的仪式上向她颁发
We're honoring her with a lifetime achievement award
终身成就奖 她到底去哪了
at today's ceremony. Where is she anyway?
她被... "窑"死了
She's been... kilned.
没有上下文 这句话毫无意义
Without context, that means nothing.
仪式取消了
The event is canceled.
我们正深陷于毒品流行危机中
We're in the midst of a drug epidemic,
我们的独唱也不见了 而且根据我的排名
and we're missing our soloist, who also happens to be
她碰巧还是她们年级最受欢迎的女孩
the most popular girl in her grade as per my ranking.
我们还有解决的机会
We can still solve this.
我们得像15岁女孩一样思考
We need to think like 15‐year‐old girls!
好吧 我们知道女孩们以为自己要变成...
Okay, we know girls think they're turning into...
龙 -没错 她们尖叫...
Dragon! ‐ Exactly. They scream...
我变成一条龙了 -布罗斯
I am now a dragon now! ‐ Broth!
是卫生棉条的问题 快拿出来
It's the tampons! Take them out!
一条龙 -布罗斯 回来
Dragon! ‐ Broth! Come back!
一条龙
Dragon!
放我出去
Let me out!
我已经知道滥用毒品背后的秘密了
I've learned the secret behind the drug overdoses!
我知道 是因为棉条
I know! It's the tampons!
得让所有人把棉条都取出来
Go tell everyone to take their tampons out!
我要去拯救世上最美的女孩了
I gotta go save the most beautiful girl in the world.
大家快把你们的棉条拿出来
Everyone! Take out your tampons!
我们看看是什么情况
Let's see where this is going.
它们充满了毒品
They are full of drugs!
扯出来
Yank it!
这让我想起了我的单身派对
This reminds me of my bachelorette party.
糟了
Oh no!
布罗斯 天啊
Broth! Oh my god, Broth!
你不是一条龙 你是我哥哥
You're not a dragon! You're my brother!
你♥他♥妈♥逗我呢
Are you shitting me?
我还让你给我涂脚趾甲了 怪胎
I let you paint my goddamn toenails, you freak.
碧斯克
Bisque?
天啊 我刚真是疯了
Oh my gosh, I was out of my mind!
我还以为你是教皇 -是吗
I thought you were the pope! ‐ Yeah?
教皇会这样亲嘴吗
Does the pope kiss like this?
他们不会要... 恶心
They're not gonna... Ew!
这样岂不是很奇怪
Wouldn't that be weird?
经典的维京人恶作剧
Classic viking prank.
我们会亲吗 还是不会
Will we? Won't we?
对吧 大家都在想 "这是真的吗"
Right? Like, everyone's like, "Is it real?"
别说了 -谁快点解释下
Stop talking. ‐ Someone explain this at once!
是棉条引起了滥用毒品
Well, the tampons were causing the overdoses.
但我不知道是怎么引起的
But what I don't understand is how.
我能回答这个问题
I can answer that question.
布利克总在阴暗的地下室里
Ms. Blick was always tinkering
捣鼓她自♥制♥的卫生棉条的配方
with the recipe for her homemade tampons in the shady basement.
她用一种叫做苯环利定的化学物质
She perfected the clover scent using a chemical
改进了三叶草的香味
called phencyclidine,
这种物质又名... 天使尘
AKA... angel dust.
碧斯克 皮肤变绿又如何解释呢
But, Bisque, what about the green‐colored skin?
这种药物会损害肾脏功能
The drugs shut down kidney function,
导致皮肤变黄 并导致缺氧 使皮肤变蓝
turning skin yellow, and also cut off oxygen, turning skin blue.
根据布利克太太的色轮
According to Ms. Blick's color wheel,
黄色加蓝色等于绿色
yellow and blue make green.
你是个天才
You're a genius!