十字剑

我的老天爷
Oh, dear god.
你们看得不开心吗
Are you not entertained?
这些门票可不便宜
These tickets are not cheap,
所以我一定要让你们看得开心
so it's important to me that you're entertained!
有时我就是会很没安全感 你们懂吗
Sometimes, I just get insecure, you know?
接下来将是空前绝后的决斗
Next match is a real doozy.
一打六 但他肯定没问题
Six versus one, but he can certainly hold his own
因为他杀死了传奇的MDX爵士
since he killed the legendary Sir MDX!
没错 你们嘘的是我朋友
Hell yeah! That's my friend you're booing!
你最后的晚餐到了
Your last meal is here.
提示 是我的屁♥股♥...
Hint, it's my pussy...
就放在凳子上吧 我一会儿拿
Just leave it on that bench, and I'll pick at it later.
听着 白♥痴♥ 我认识你以来 你一直过分高尚
Listen, idiot! You've been noble to a fault since we met,
现在 如果你不去战斗 这份高尚
and now, that nobility is going to get you killed
可能会害死你 -正有此意
if you don't fight. ‐ That's the plan.
我杀了午夜黑暗·X爵士
I killed Sir Midnight Darkness X.
如果我杀了骑士同伴 我也该死
If I killed a fellow knight, I deserve to die, too.
天啊 我可能真得去看心理医生
Oh Christ. Maybe I do need therapy.
操♥他♥妈♥的 你去死吧
Oh, fuck it. Go ahead and die.
你将永远活在我的打屁♥股♥名单里
You'll live on forever in my spank bank.
我其实是来告诉你
I actually came here to let you know
爷爷为最终决战准备了些可怕的东西
that Granddad has something... awful in store for the finale.
所以 你还是在那之前死掉吧
So, better hope you're dead before then.
女士们先生们 请欢迎其他的角斗士
Ladies and gents, please welcome the rest of the gladiators!
为双截棍·约翰尼鼓掌
Give it up for Nunchuck Johnny!
还有克拉姆波
Clambo!
以及全王国最凶残的疯子 削皮者帕特里克
The most murderous psycho in the land, Patrick the Peeler!
还有各种你们不需要知道名字的
Plus miscellaneous gladiators
角斗士 他们不会有周边
you don't need to learn the names of. They will not have merch.
拿着
Here, take this.
我不需要多余的累赘
Don't need any extra baggage.
我要直接下地狱
I'm going straight to Hell.
随你怎么说吧 怪胎
Whatever you say, weirdo.
把那些混♥蛋♥削了皮 削了她们
Peel those fuckers! Peel 'em!
我们来赌他能坚持多久 他会怎么死
Now taking bets on how long he'll last and the way he's going to die.
最多两分钟 然后头骨被棍子戳穿
Two minutes tops. Skull caved in with a cudgel.
11秒 然后被警♥察♥击毙
11 seconds. Suicide by cop.
你们真不够意思 帕特里克可是我们的朋友
Um, not cool, you guys. That's our friend Patrick.
谢了 高尚司令 之前不知道你对钱过敏
Thanks, Commander Highroad. Didn't know you were allergic to money.
10分钟 然后被生吞
10 minutes, eaten alive.
我不会反击 速战速决吧
I won't fight back. Just make it quick.
他装的 别信他
He's faking it! Don't trust him!
是的 他在引诱你靠近 然后戳瞎你的眼睛
Yeah, he lures you in, and then he stabs you in the eye.
帕特里克 我看不下去了
Oh, Patrick. I can't bear to look!
快亲嘴
Kiss each other!
帕特里克 给我的削皮刀签名吧
Patrick! Sign my peeler!
上啊 卡尔
Uh, go get him, Carl.
你上啊 乔纳森
You go get him, Jonathan.
女士优先
Ladies first.
去你♥妈♥的♥
Fuck off!
快看 削皮者帕特里克如此强大
Look! Patrick the Peeler is so powerful,
他甚至不用动手就杀了两个人了
he killed two people without even touching them!
我没有 -他是魔鬼
No, I didn't! ‐ He's a demon!
他控制了我们的思想 别跟他对视
He's controlling our minds! Don't make eye contact!
大家快闭上眼 吹口哨
Everyone, close your eyes and whistle!
我最好的朋友都死了
All my best friends are dead.
我要摔到谁的剑上才能赶紧死掉
Whose sword do I have to fall on to get a quick death around here?
你们被削了 混♥蛋♥们
You've been peeled, motherfuckers!
太棒了 再来一次
That was amazing! Encore!
所有人鞠躬致意
Everyone, take a bow!
我要用长矛刺穿你这白♥痴♥的头
I'll have your fool head on a pike!
爸
Daddy?
我会抹掉你的 混球
I'll deny you, you punk‐ass bitch!
你♥他♥妈♥去哪了
Where the fuck have you been?
丹妮尔逼我工作 还让我正眼看人盾
Danielle made me get a job and look Human Shield in the eye.
花花 你太惨了
Petal, that's terrible.
我要把人盾"四叶草"了
I'll have Human Shield drawn and quartered.
不要 她是我最好的朋友
No, don't! She's my best friend.
那行吧
Alright then.
我得进去
I need to get inside.
这个马上要死的人说我密♥码♥不对
This future dead man says my gate code isn't working.
是的 爷爷改了 现在是"瓦妮莎屁♥股♥很美"
No, Grandpa changed it. Now, it's "Vanessa got dat azz,"
"屁♥股♥"还是带两个z的
and ass is spelled with two Z's.
帕特里克死了吗 -不知道
Patrick dead? ‐ I don't know.
丹妮尔无缘无故不让我去看处决
Danielle wouldn't let me go to the executionnn for no reasonnnn!
我们得赶紧去救他
We have to save him before it's too late.
去梅里曼之车
To the Merriman‐mobile!
削皮者
Peeler!
好了 大家都下车 我去找车位
Okay, everybody out. I'll find parking.
这是老爸的工作
This is dad business.
削皮者 削皮者...
Peeler! Peeler! Peeler...
现在将迎来压轴大戏
And now, for the grand finale!
欢迎我们的冠军 削皮者帕特里克
Our champion, Patrick the Peeler!
帕特里克表现还不错 看看他的小屁♥股♥
Patrick's actually doing great. Look at that little tushy.
他遗传他妈妈的
He gets that from his mother.
还有我们的神秘挑战者
And our mystery challenger,
最高等级的濒危物种
from the top of the endangered species list,
一条他妈的龙
a motherfucking dragon!
天啊 这只鸟真♥他♥妈♥大 我去
Oh boy. That is a big fucking bird. Fuck!
很好 这下我应该能死了
Oh yeah. This oughta do the trick.
削皮者 削皮者...
Peeler! Peeler! Peeler...
宝贝 我爱你 别放弃
I love you, sweetheart! Don't give up!
天啊 我在干什么
Oh my god, what am I doing?
我不能放弃 我还被爱着
I can't give up. I have people who love me.
不能让我妈看到我穿着丁字裤死掉
I won't let my mom watch me die in a G‐string.
这味道好香 让我又高兴又不安
I am delighted and disturbed by how good that smells.
布林克夸兹 你♥他♥妈♥给帕特里克找个队友啊
Blinkerquartz, give Patrick a fucking teammate!
我在他身上赌了50块
I have... 50 bucks on Patrick.
我也想参与
I want some of that action.
我赌十万亿美元有帽子戏法
$10 trillion on Hat Trick!
帕特里克 别慌
Don't panic, Patrick!
我是经认证的龙类专家 我来帮你了
I'm a certified dragon specialist, and I'm here to help.
别慌 帕特里克
Don't panic, Patrick!
我们来救你了
We're here to save you!
我♥操♥ 这他妈是条龙
Oh shit! It's a motherfucking dragon!
花花 他们真的很恨你
Wow, Blossom. They really hate you.
梅里曼垃圾 梅里曼垃圾
Merriman sucks! Merriman sucks!
我们对花花态度很矛盾 但梅里曼真垃圾
We're ambivalent about Blossom, but Merriman sucks!
梅里曼和花花
Merriman?! And Blossom?!
她怎么在公开场合穿着穷♥人♥的戏服
Why does she have that poor person costume on? In public?
看来我的小东西回来了
My little crotch fruit returns, eh?
把角斗士放出来
Release the gladiators!
向RKG-55问好吧
Say hello to the RKG‐55!
这是人力的噩梦
It's an HR nightmare.
我得上去抓那个老头
I need to get up to the old man!
你♥他♥妈♥从哪学的
Where the hell'd you learn that?
公立学校
Public school.
我♥操♥
Holy shit!
你偷了我的王冠 小兔崽子
You stole my crown, sonny boy.
你要被我打屁♥股♥了
Come get your spanking.
乐意至极
With pleasure.
这话说出来怪怪的
That came out weird.
我是说 我要揍你 你休想打我屁♥股♥
I mean I'm about to hurt you, and you won't be spanking me.
这将会精彩绝伦
Oh, this is gonna be epic.
后退
Back off!
不要 你才后退
No! You back off!
你先后退
You back up first!
精彩绝伦
Epic.
堂姐 回来这里
Cousin! Come back here!
离他远点 你这婊♥子♥或和混♥蛋♥
Get away from him, you bitch and/or bastard!