十字剑

我的遗愿就是尝尝棉花糖的味道
My last wish is to taste the fairy floss.
可以吗 拜托
May I, please? May I?
但是第一口是属于国王的
It's just that the first bite belongs to the king.
抱歉了 小朋友
I'm sorry, little buddy.
什么 这招明明屡试不爽 你个混♥蛋♥
What?! That always works! You're an arsehole!
帕特里克
Patrick!
在摸鱼呢
Sleeping on the job?
没关系 我被炒了
That's cool. I got fired!
请看 大家梦寐以求的"第一口"
Behold! The coveted First Taste!
什么... 第一口在哪
Wha... Da... Where's the First Taste?
棉花糖行业有句古老的俗话
Well, there's an old idiom in the cotton candy business.
打瞌睡你就输了
You snooze, you lose.
回来 我以国王之名命令你
Come back! In the name of the king!
为了那个棉花糖 我愿意
I will lick the inside of your entire asshole
给你舔屁♥眼♥
for that cotton candy.
五分钱
It's five cents.
如果你肯借我五分钱
I will lick the inside of your entire asshole
我愿意给你舔屁♥眼♥
if you let me borrow five cents.
你觉得小便天使什么时候出来 快了吗
When do you think Piss Angel's gonna come out? Soon?
你能消停会儿吗
Would you keep your dong in your drawers?!
我是说
I mean,
正如我们的婚姻咨♥询♥师希望我说的
as our couples' counselor would want me to phrase it,
我感觉 你应该消停会儿
I feel like you should keep your dong in your drawers.
宝贝
Honey.
有人看见一小孩拿着插了国王的头的金棍子吗
Has anyone seen a kid with our king's head on a gold stick?
你没打算停下来 好吧
Oh, you're not stopping. Okay.
有人吗
Um, hello?
心灵泄密先生 你有看见...
Mr. Mind Leak? Have you seen a...
我的肺在这套紧身衣中被压紧了
My lungs are constricting in this straightjacket.
我随时可能丧命
Every breath I take could be my last!
除非...
Unless...
紧身衣不是这么玩儿的
Uh, that's not how straightjackets work.
我自♥由♥了
And I'm free!
很好 很酷
Great. Cool. Tight.
你好 我是帕特里克 我在找...
Um, so hi. I'm Patrick, and I'm looking for...
看着我的嘴
Watch my mouth.
天啊
Jesus H. Christ!
为什么 你会穿破你的结肠的
Why?! You're gonna shred your colon!
让我来揭秘你的心灵...
Let me leak your mind...
我看到你穿过活板门了 这些都不是魔术
I saw you go through the trap door. None of this is magic.
我把他变不见了
I made him disappear?
我就是魔术
I am magic!
求求了 我从没像渴望一杯伏特加一样
Oh, please! I have never wanted anything more
这么渴望过一件事
than a shot of vodka.
不 是一次上舞台的机会
Gah! Shot at the stage!
我们不能随便让白♥痴♥上舞台
We can't just let any schmo up there.
你得有傻瓜和笨蛋的双学位
You need a degree in tomfoolery and a minor in jackassery.
拜托 区区一张纸
Oh, come on! A piece of paper
又不能说明你能不能当小丑
can't tell you if you can clown, man!
这是发自内心的
It comes from the heart!
而且我的心可大了
And I've got an enlarged one!
走开吧 白♥痴♥ 你不过是个
Buzz off, cornball. You're just a loser
白日做梦的废物罢了
with a dream that'll never come true.
红鼻子登场
Red nose goes! Aw, yeet yeet!
上演魔法 金枪鱼罐头
Juju on the beat! Tuna can!
欢迎来到大帐篷 大帐篷
Hello to the big top! The big top! Woof woof!
兄弟们 我们去惊艳全场吧
Let's go get 'em, boys. Let's go!
我要让你们看看 谁才是真正的傻瓜
I'll show ya who's the real fool.
馅饼攻击
A pie to the face!
我从没见过这种把戏 这些人是天才
I've never seen that before! These guys are geniuses!
什么 他们超越了自我 没想到他们还能进步
What? They topped it! I didn't think they could improve on that!
我真的很喜欢你和小丑的表演
I really loved what you did with the clowns.
我们把它编进节目里吧 -不好意思
Let's write it into the act. ‐ Excuse me,
你们在附近有看到一个孤儿吗
have you seen an orphan around here?
你总能从缩写和双重否定词中看出他是孤儿
You can always tell an orphan from the contractions and double negatives.
这儿没孤儿
There ain't no orphan 'round here!
你是说 这附近没有一个孤儿
You mean there isn't an orphan around here?
滚开 松鼠展翅
Fuck off, buddy! Squirrel wings!
松鼠展翅 这是丹妮尔的招式
Squirrel wings? That was Danielle's thing.
这地方处处能让我想起我前女友
This place is crawling with reminders of my ex.
抓到你了
Gotcha!
看 我在操国王的脸
Look! I'm face‐fucking the king!
前女友 天啊 是你前女友
Ex‐girlfriend. OMG, it's your ex‐girlfriend.
我爱你
I'm in love with you,
但我要杀了所有你在乎的人
but I'm gonna kill everyone you care about.
来抓我啊
Come and get me.
我也爱你 我要封你为骑士
I'm also in love with you, and I'm going to knight you.
快让这个孤儿把鸡鸡拿开
Now, get this orphan's wiener out of my face.
我怎么办 我怎么办
What do I do, what do I do, what do I do?
那是个刺客 拦住她
That's the assassin! Stop her!
没这么容易
Not so fast!
杂技陷阱
Juggle trap!
我们马戏团的人团结一心
Us circus folks stick together!
你想抓她 就得先过我这关
You wanna get to her, you gotta go through me!
天啊
God!
她要逃跑了 别保护她了
She's getting away! Stop protecting her!
燃♥烧♥弹♥鸡尾酒
Molotov cocktail!
必须... 停止... 耍杂技
Must... break... the... juggle.
如果你再敢回来
If you come back 'round here,
你就得拿着鱼耍杂技
you'll be juggling with the fishes!
女士们先生们 小女孩小男孩们
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
二元性别和非二元性别者们
binaries and non‐binaries,
你们期待已久的时刻到了...
it's the moment you've all been waiting for...
小便天使
Piss Angel!
正是金童他本人...
It's the golden boy himself...
小便天使·心灵泄密大♥师♥
Piss Angel Mind Leak?!
让我们热烈欢迎...
Give a warm Cirque du Circus welcome to...
小便天使·心灵泄密大♥师♥ -小便天使... 心灵泄密大♥师♥
Piss Angel Mind Leak! - Piss Angel... Mind Leak!
让开
Move.
帕特里克... 我♥干♥了件坏事
Patrick... I did a bad thing.
我追着棉花糖龙跑 然后抓住了它
I chased the cotton dragon, and I caught her.
你看见我奶奶了吗
Have you seen my grandma?
什么...
What the...
我问天问大地 只想寻找一名志愿者
I ask the wise, I ask the weak, a volunteer is what I seek.
我 请选我
Me! Please pick me!
就你了 先生 戴着闪耀的王冠的
You, sir! The eager young man
热心的年轻人 请上台
with the gleaming crown. Come forward.
让开 给本王让路
Outta the way! Outta the way! Make way for the king!
一边去 我很特别 你们都很普通
One side! I'm special! Not you!
是我 小红帽 没错
It's me... Little Red Riding Hood. Yup.
我现在要去我外婆家了
I'm just going to go my gram‐gram's now.
回见
TTYL[Talk To You Later]!
天啊 太棒了
Oh boy! Oh good!
祈神保佑
Blessed be the squash.
我是使女 你想听我的故事吗
I am the Footmaid. Would you care to hear my fable?
听起来要讲很久 不用了 谢谢
This sounds long. No, thank you.
等下
Wait!
你就是帕特里克
You're Patrick.
丹妮尔给你写了封信
Danielle had a message for you.
我上来了
I did it!
我就是志愿者
I'm the volunteer.
年轻人 你叫什么
What is your name, young man?
梅里曼国王
King Merriman.
好的 梅里曼国王 请看
Well, King Merriman, behold!
"报应之箱" -报应
The Box of Comeuppance! ‐ Comeuppance?!
我喜欢报应
I love comeuppance!
感觉像站在一个棺材里
It's like I'm standing in a coffin!
你们现在没了国王 你们将重新得到一个国王
A king you now lack, a king you'll get back.
大喊三遍"把国王带回来" 小便天使就会
Chant "bring back the king" three times, and Piss Angel
揭秘你们的心灵
will leak your minds!