小丑梦摇篮（2016）

Yeah, they say it's gonna get pretty hot today.
-没事 -你好 911吗
- That's okay. - Hello. 911.
你好 能给我接警♥察♥局吗
Yeah, hi. Could I please have the police department?
听着 艾迪 我知道你是个牛仔
Look, Eddie, I know that you're a cowboy
你要像牛仔一样解决问题
and you have to do your cowboy things
而且你追求荣誉与正义
and you like honor and justice...
我不喜欢这样 可我必须这样做
I don't like it. But I gotta do it.
没错 但是我不是牛仔
Yeah, but I'm not a cowboy,
-艾迪 -我知道你不是牛仔
- Eddie. - I know you're not a cowboy.
但是你也一样要做好自己的本分
But you got your part to play just the same.
什么 我们能不能回家 拜托了
What? Can we just go home, please?
-快跟上 -天啦
- Come on. - Jesus!
我不想大惊小怪的
Well, I don't want to make a big deal out of this.
我可不是那种人
Like, I'm not one of those kind of people.
没关系 女士 只管告诉我发生了什么事
That's all right. Just tell me the problem, ma'am.
我想知道
Uh, I was wondering, though,
你能不能给地区检察官打电♥话♥ 确保我免受刑罚
could you call the D.A. And make sure I'll get immunity
以防我被这事牵连
in case I say anything incriminating?
你没喝酒吧
You haven't been drinking, have you?
没有 要是我喝了酒
Oh, uh, no. If I were drinking,
我现在就会自信多了
I'd be a lot more confident right now.
-艾迪 我们是不是不该来这里 -我知道不该来
- Eddie, are we even supposed to be here? - I know I sure ain't.
不行 不行
No! No! No!
玛格丽特 我知道已经很久没来看你们了
Now, Margaret, I know its been a long time.
没有你 我们生活得很好
And we've been just fine without you.
可玛格丽特 我大老远地过来
Oh, but Margaret, I've come a long ways.
-你是艾迪吗 -我叫艾德
- Are you Eddie? - My name's Ed.
好 天啦 气氛太凝重了 你知道我是谁吗
Well, hell, that's dignified. You know who I am?
你是我爸吗
Are you my dad?
我带了样东西给你
I brought you something.
我在你这个年纪的时候 我老爸给了我这个
My dad gave this to me when I was your age.
这玩意儿彻底改变了我的生活
It totally screwed my life up.
你现在长大了 所以该送给你了
So you're old enough now. You may as well have it.
我还给你带了个小丑
Oh, and I brought you a clown.
贝克尔斯菲尔德最棒的小丑
Best damn clown in Bakersfield.
他叫巴斯克兹 奇普·巴斯克兹
Baskets is the name... Chip Baskets.
-这是我儿子 艾迪 -你俩看起来一个饼样啊
- This is my son, Eddie. - You guys look just alike.
艾迪 我不擅长在生日派对上表演
Eddie, doing birthday parties really isn't my forte, so...
你是不是小丑呢
Well, you're a clown, ain't you?
如果你是小丑 那你就是小丑 如果你不是 那你是啥
If you're a clown, you're a clown. If you ain't, what are you?
-我只是个"玛莎" -你是个"玛莎"
- I guess I'm a Martha. - A Martha. Aww.
好吧 谁有手绢吗
Okay! Does anybody have a handkerchief?
-我有张餐巾纸 -也能凑合
- I have a napkin. - That will work.
谢谢你 酋长
Thank you, Chief. Okay.
好
Okay.
搞错了...
Okay, that's the wrong...
演完了
Ta-da!
齐活
Okay. It's okay.
又有条蛇 又一条
Oh! Another snake! It's another snake!
这是牛蛇 没有毒的
It's a gopher snake. Non-poisonous.
快给我扯开
Get it! Get it off!
谢谢
Thank you.
谢谢你 艾迪的儿子
Thank you, Eddie's son.
这里没什么事吧
Hey, everything okay here?
我能看一眼吗
Can I see that for a second?
宾果的尸体就埋在这里吗
Um... Is this where Bingo's body's buried?
生日快乐
Um... happy birthday.
那宾果怎么回事
So what happened with Bingo there?
从头到尾我都以为你是在找他报仇
This whole time I thought you were going after him for revenge.
我给了我堂弟50块让他把宾果的腿给打折了
Oh, hell. I just gave my cousin 50 dollars to break his legs.
-两条都打折了吗 -没错
- Both of his legs? - Yeah.
-你太差劲了 -作为一个父亲 给你点忠告
- You suck. - Some fatherly advice...
千万不要生孩子 他们有可能长成恶毒的小混♥蛋♥
Don't ever have kids. They can be mean little bastards.
喂 别往女士身上扔
Yeah. Hey! Hey! Not the lady.
有这个定速巡航功能 开长途也不是太辛苦
These long trips aren't so bad with cruise control.
好
Okay.
设置完就不用管它了
I can just set it and forget it,
然后我的脚爱搁哪儿就搁哪儿
you know? Then my feet can do whatever.
对不起我到踢了你 艾迪
Sorry I kicked you, Eddie.
奇普 你有150英里没出声了
Chip, you haven't said anything in, like, 150 miles.
-你没事吧 -对不起
- Are you okay? - Uh, sorry, um...
-你能靠边停吗 -好
- Hey, can you pull over? - Okay.
等等 艾迪 如果我靠边停
Wait, Eddie, if I pull over,
我就得关了定速巡航 真的有必要停车吗
I have to break cruise control. Is it worth it?
可能没必要 不过你还是停吧
Well, maybe not. But, uh, can you pull over anyway?
好吧
Okay.
-你好 -佩内洛普 是我 奇普
- Hello. - Penelope, hi, it's Chip.
奇普
Chip!
听我说 我只有80秒时间 我犯了个大错误
Let me speak. I only have 80 seconds, okay? Listen. I made a huge mistake.
我们没必要生孩子 我错了
We do not need to start a family. I was wrong.
我错了 我的想法把你吓跑了
I was wrong, and I think I scared you off,
现在我知道到了
and I now realize that, and I...
不 你没有把我吓跑
No, you did not scary me off, okay?
什么意思 没把你吓走
What do you mean, I'm not scaring you off? What?
我走跟你无关
It was nothing you did. No.
那...
Well...
那是为什么 到底...
Well, what was it then? I mean...
是...是你妈
It was... It was your mother.
我妈 到底怎么回事
My mother. What do you mean?
她找到了我爸 懂了吗
She contacted my father. Okay?
等等 你能再说一遍吗
Wait, can you say that again?
她给我爸打了电♥话♥
She called my father,
他们联手把我给赶回来了
and they both together, everybody kick me out.
这太不爽了
It's not so cool.
都结束了 而且我
It's over. And I'm...
现在有新生活了
I have new life now.
好吧
Okay. Okay.
奇普
Chip?
艾迪 一会儿我们到了
Hey, Eddie, um, when this is done,
可以一起去吃个早饭
I was thinking we could go to breakfast?
-早饭 可以啊 -我们可以去...
- Breakfast. Yeah, huh? - We could go to...
送我去我妈妈家 谢谢
Take me to my mother's, please.
行 我们刚说先去吃个早餐
Okay, um, we were also talking about maybe going to breakfast first.
因为国际饼干屋有新出炉的果味根状小猫饼
Because IHOP has the rooty tooty fresh and fruity.
不过
However...
-丹尼家有... -大满贯套餐
- Denny's has... - Grand Slam.
丹尼家有大满贯套餐 而且他们还有火腿煎蛋
The Grand Slam and they have the Moons Over My Hammy.
而且他家
And then it's also...
今晚是培根之夜
I think it's bacon night at Denny's.
-你想去那儿吃吗 -早饭吃吗
- Do you wanna go there? - Breakfast?
不想吃
I'm good.