艾伦对决法罗（2021）

叫她离我远一些
and he'd be calling her away.
但是她会反抗
And she would kind of stiffen up
试着从他身边离开
and she would try to scramble away from him.
她自己也很怕爸爸一直这么盯着她
And she was frightened of this stuff.
有时候她会和我谈这件事
She would talk to me at the time about being,
哦 我不想和爸爸待在一起了
"Oh, I don't wanna be with Daddy.
我们能一起玩儿吗 我们可以做点别的事情吗
Can we keep playing? Can we do anything other than this?"
他一过来 她就会从门口走出去
He would come. She would run away from the door,
然后说 把我藏起来 把我藏起来
and say, "Hide me! Hide me! Hide me!"
一开始 我以为她是在玩游戏
And at first, I thought it was like a game.
但是之后 我意识到她感觉到了
But then, I realized that she actually sensed
爸爸在一点点控制着她 让她感觉到很窒息
this kind of smothering energy from him.
因为迪伦对这件事的反应
Casey: I only started questioning things
让我开始有些怀疑
because Dylan's reaction to it
让我察觉到这种情况是不是不太好
made me think that it wasn't good
因为可以看得出来她很抗拒
because you could see her withdrawing from it.
嗨
Mia: Hi.
这是你的秘密地点吗
Is this the secret place?
这是米奇妙妙屋吗
Is this the clubhouse?
她开始逃离他
She started running away from him.
开始把自己锁在浴室
She started locking herself in bathrooms.
他会说她这是
And he would say she was
在逃避现实什么的
retreating from reality or something,
但是他不在她身边时她就不会这样
but she wasn't like that when he wasn't there.
她很亲近人的 但当他走进来的时候
She was fully conversant, and then the minute he would walk in,
她就好像变成了一只动物
she'd become an animal.
有时像是死了一样 有时像是受伤了一样
Sometimes a dead animal, sometimes a wounded animal,
就那么躺在地上
like, lying on the floor.
跟她说什么都没有回应
Anything that didn't talk.
慢慢的
Ronan: Over time,
迪伦从一个外向的
Dylan went from being outgoing
总是很兴奋 健谈的小孩儿
and effervescent and talkative,
变成了总是很悲伤
to her having this sadness
又沉默寡言的小女孩
and this withdrawn quality.
作为一个孩子 我不知道她这是怎么了
And I didn't know as a kid how to contextualize that.
但是现在 我回想起来 我明白了
But now, in retrospect, I understand
那是一种非常严重 在警告我们的
that that was a pattern of something
表现方式
very serious and alarming.
我有很多很形象的快照
Dylan: I have very vivid snapshots.
就是公♥寓♥的一些不同的角落
Just different places in the apartment
或者乡间别♥墅♥ 不同的房♥间
or the country house, different rooms.
大多数都是拍一扇窗户 想表达当时的情感
Mostly just a window with a feeling attached.
我记得我坐在他的床边上
I remember sitting on the edge of his bed,
房♥间里的灯光
the light in the room.
缎子床单
The satin sheets.
还有单簧管
There were clarinet reeds.
我记得他陪着我一起睡觉
I have memories of getting into bed with him.
他穿着短裤
He was in his underwear,
我也穿着短裤 他搂着我
and I'm in my underwear, cuddling.
我能感觉到他的呼吸
I remember his breath on me.
他会用身体包裹住我
He would just wrap his body around me,
非常亲密
very intimately.
我第一次看见的时候
Priscilla: The first time that I saw it,
我走进房♥间
I was coming into the room,
他正从床上下来
and he was getting out of the bed.
我看到他只穿着短裤
And so I saw that he was only wearing underwear.
我就直接转身离开 走掉了
And I just kind of turned around and walked the other way
因为我不想让他知道我看见了什么
because I didn't want him to know that I had seen.
有时我会突然走进去 就会看见他们两个
Mia: I would suddenly walk in, and there she would be
穿着短裤在床上躺着
in his bed with him in his underwear.
有时候 他会跪在她面前
And sometimes, he would also kneel in front of her,
或者坐在她旁边
or sit next to her
把他的脸贴在她的腿上
and put his face in her, in, in, in her lap.
我看到他好几次那样了
Which I caught a couple of times,
我觉得他这么做略有不妥
and I didn't think that was right.
那时候 我以为
Dylan: At the time, I thought this was
父亲都是和女儿这样互动的
how fathers interacted with their daughters.
那时候 我还是个孩子 所以我
I mean, I was a kid, so I...
我自己消化掉了这种情绪
I internalized it
觉得
in a sense that I...
如果
I felt that if,
如果我觉得很奇怪的话 是我想多了
if I felt weird about it, that was on me.
那是我的错
That was my fault
我这么感觉肯定是因为我想多了
and that was because I was doing something wrong.
那是个夏天
Tisa Farrow: When I went to the country house,
我去了乡下的别♥墅♥
it was a summer day.
我们当时都在外边
We were all outside,
孩子们在沙滩上没穿衣服跑着
and the kids were running around naked by the beach.
米娅给伍迪
Mia handed Woody
防晒霜让他涂上
a thing of sunscreen to put on,
他当时在揉迪伦的后背
and he was rubbing Dylan's back and his--
我妈妈当时也在那儿
My mom was there, too.
他的手一直往下一直到她的屁♥股♥中间
His hand went down between her buttocks
在那儿停了一会儿
and kinda lingered there,
我说的很委婉
and suggestively...
我必须那么说 因为他的手指
I have to say suggestively because that's what it was...
在她的屁♥股♥蛋儿中间
went between her buttock cheeks
来回晃动
with his finger, and then came back.
米娅也看见了 然后把防晒霜拿走了
And Mia saw it, too, and snatched the sunscreen away.
我逐渐变得 我感觉我当时更像是个警♥察♥
Mia: I started being-- I felt more like a policeman,
看着他 我会看到一些
you know, coming into him, like, am I gonna see something that, um,
不应该发生的事
I-- that shouldn't be happening.
有一次 我们都在地上坐着
One time, we were all sitting on the floor,
他把她的手用力拽开了
and he slapped her hand away.
然后我说 你这是干什么
And I said, "Why did you do that?"
然后他说 她碰到不该碰的了
And he said, "She grabbed at my penis."
所以
So...
我当时在安慰他
I was comforting her,
同时 我在想
and at the same time, I was thinking,
为什么一个小女孩要那么做呢
"Why would a little girl do that?"
什么
What...
我尽力不去想这件事 但是
I tried to push it out of my mind, but...
一个小女孩
what, what kind of thing was going on of...
怎么会
that involved...
碰到那么私密的部位呢
private parts, at all?
也许发生了一些
Maybe there were things that I didn't know
我不知道的事情
that might be happening.
我记得
I remember...
当时和他一起坐在乡下别♥墅♥的台阶上
sitting on the steps with him in the country house.
周围没有其他人
There was nobody else around, and...
他教我
He was...
怎么吸他的拇指
directing me on how to suck his thumb.
教我怎么用我的舌头
Telling me what to do with my tongue.
而且
And...
也就一小会儿吧
I think that lasted a while.
但是感觉好像过了好长时间
Um, it felt like a long time.
我见过她吸着他的拇指
Priscilla: I saw her sucking his thumb,
真的 非常非常奇怪
which was really, really weird.
他说 这个可以帮到她
And he said, "Yes, this helps her.
可以让她冷静下来
"This calms her down.
让她平静
Soothes her to do this."
最后我说 你对待她和看她的方式
Mia: I finally said, "You know, I'm not comfortable
让我觉得很不舒服
with the way that you're handling her and looking at her."
然后他就跟我生气了
And he just got so angry with me.
天哪
Oh my gosh.
就好像我在指控他
It was as if I had
是一个斧头杀手一样
accused him of being an axe murderer.
就会说 你有毛病吗
Like, "What is wrong with you?
你怎么能那么想
You know, how could you think that?"
最后我就哭了 然后向他道歉
Finally, I was crying and I was apologizing.