雷蒙·斯尼奇的不幸历险（2017）

A Series of Unfortunate Events S01E06

Part 3 July 20, 2020, 3:17 p.m.

听起来棒极了
Well, that sounds wonderful!
给超特别的一家来一份
Extra Special Family Fun Appetizer
超欢乐家庭开胃菜
for an extra special family.
我的一家
Mine.
我要一杯水就好谢谢
I'll just have a glass of water, thank you.
我也是还有请给我小妹妹拿一杯冰块
Same for me. And a glass of ice cubes for my baby sister, please.
我要一杯加植脂末的咖啡谢谢
I'll have a cup of coffee with nondairy creamer, please.
不坡
Oh, no, Poe.
我们一起喝瓶上等的红酒吧
Let's, uh, share a nice bottle of red wine.
不了谢谢贾船长
Oh, no, thanks, Captain Sham.
银行营业时间我不喝酒
I don't drink during banking hours.
对但这是庆祝的早午餐
Yeah, but it's a celebratory brunch.
我们应该举杯祝酒
We should drink a toast.
毕竟人不是每天
After all, it's not every day
都有机会成为三个孩子的父亲
that a man becomes a father of three children.
拜托贾听说你乐意抚养孩子
Please, Sham. It's heartening to know that
很令人振奋但你要理解
you're glad to raise the children, but you must understand,
孩子们刚失去了约瑟芬婶婶所以很难过
the children lost their Aunt Josephine. They're rather upset.
我也难过
I'm upset, too. I'm...
我可能更难过
I'm probably more upset.
约瑟芬是我的...
Josephine was my...
是我相识最久感情最深的朋友谢谢
Josephine was my oldest and dearest friend. Thank you.
你昨天才在镇上的集市兼宠物动物园认识她的
You met her yesterday at the town market and petting zoo.
感觉确实恍如昨天
It really does seem like yesterday,
但其实那是好多年前了
but actually it was many years ago.
我们在烹饪学校相识
She and I met at cooking school.
我们在高级烘焙课上是烤炉搭档
We were oven partners in the Advanced Baking Course.
你们才不是烤炉搭档
You weren't oven partners.
约瑟芬婶婶特别害怕打开烤炉
Aunt Josephine was desperately afraid of turning on an oven.
不久我们就成了挚友有一天她对我说
Soon we became fast friends, and then one day she said to me,
"要是我哪天收养了几个孤儿后突然离世
"If I ever adopt some orphans and then meet an untimely death,
答应我你会像对待亲生子女一样抚养他们"
promise me that you will raise them as if they were your own."
我当然同意了
Of course, I agreed,
但我完全没想到我有天还得遵守那个诺言
but I had no idea I would have to keep that promise.
约瑟芬死了
Josephine is dead?
对
Yes.
昨天深夜约瑟芬·安威瑟
Josephine Anwhistle jumped out of
从她自家的窗户跳出去了
the window of her own home late last night.
你没听说吗
Didn't you hear?
我不知道你们有伤心事那么
I didn't realize this was a sad occasion. In that case,
允许我推荐开心点芝士汉堡
allow me to recommend the Cheer-Up Cheeseburgers.
泡菜芥末和番茄酱
The pickles, mustard and ketchup
在汉堡上拼成了一个小笑脸
make a little smiley face on top of the burger,
肯定也能让你们笑起来
which is guaranteed to get ya smilin', too.
吃之前一定要看一眼里面
So make sure you look inside before you eat it.
这主意真好
Well, that's a wonderful idea.
每人一份开心点芝士汉堡拉里
Cheer-Up Cheeseburgers for everyone, Larry!
这儿的服务真奇怪
Odd service, here.
现在是淡季
It's the off-season.
表演得不错
Nice performance out there.
按剧本演我们就不把你丢给水蛭
Stick to the script and we won't throw you to the leeches.
别搞鬼小丑
Yeah, no funny business, clown.
拉里我告诉过你我叫拉里
It's Larry. I told you my name is Larry.
-我们才不在乎你叫什么 -或是你是男是女
- We don't care what your name is. - Or what gender you are.
或是你头发是不是真的
Or whether that hair is real.
-是小丑假发 -我们不在乎
- It's a clown wig. - We don't care!
我们只在乎你别给老板演砸了
All we care is we make sure you don't blow this for the boss.
-你要是想从这儿出去 -活着出去
- So if you want to make it out of here... - Alive.
-双手齐全地出去 -你就要完全按我们说的做
- With both hands. - you better do exactly what we say.
你要为大家提供一顿丰盛的午餐
You're gonna fix a nice lunch for everybody.
-别耍花招 -别下迷♥药♥
- With no tricks. - No knockout drugs.
别下毒
No poison.
别在里面留下秘密讯息不管是用
And no secret messages written in...
-番茄酱 -芥末
- Ketchup. - Mustard.
还是开心点芝士汉堡里的青芥末蛋黄酱写
Or wasabi mayo in the Cheer-Up Cheeseburgers!
你们永远别想战胜我们
You'll never defeat us.
你们可以包围我们把我们扔出窗外
You can surround us. You can throw us out of windows.
可以威胁我们逼我们给你们做饭
You can threaten us and make us cook for you--
抱歉打扰今日例汤是什么
Sorry to interrupt, but what's the soup of the day?
我要强调一下维奥蕾特成年之前
I want to emphasize straightaway that the Baudelaire fortune
波德莱尔财产都将由我监管
will still be under my supervision until Violet comes of age.
什么财产我不知道有什么财产
What fortune? I don't know about any fortune.
波德莱尔夫妇
The Baudelaire parents,
给孩子们留下了一大笔财产
have left behind an enormous fortune
等维奥蕾特成年孩子们就会继承
that the children will inherit when Violet comes of age.
我对财产没兴趣
I have no interest in a fortune.
我有帆船
I've got my sailboats.
坡先生珊妮说得对
Mr. Poe, Sunny's right.
你肯定能看出来这个人
Surely you can finally see that this man--
饮料来了
Beverages!
-先生们的咖啡 -谢谢
- Coffee for the gentleman. - Thank you.
水手的绒毛脐鸡尾酒
A Fuzzy Navel for the sailor.
-什么 -厨房♥里某人送的礼物
- What? - A gift from someone in the kitchen.
还有给小波德莱尔们的水和冰
And water and ice for the Baudelaires.
你知道我们叫什么
You know our names?
我当然不知道了
Of course I don't know your names.
我完全忘记我们说到哪了
I've completely forgotten what we were saying.
你们不讨厌这样吗
Don't you hate that?
我们说那是奥拉夫伯爵
We were saying that is Count Olaf.
什么服务员吗他确实挺古怪的
What, the waiter? He did seem odd.
不是服务员是你
No, not the waiter. You!
你对约瑟芬婶婶下了毒手
You've done something terrible to Aunt Josephine
还想谋夺我们的财产
and you're scheming to get our fortune.
贾船长为什么要对他最亲密的朋友下毒手呢
Why would Captain Sham do something terrible to his closest friend?
说得好坡
Good point, Poe.
-他不是贾船长 -他是奥拉夫伯爵
- He isn't Captain Sham. - He's Count Olaf.
小波德莱尔们我对你们够耐心的了
Baudelaires, I've been more than patient with you.
我理解失去双亲和家园
I understand that losing your parents and your home
影响了你们的情绪
has had an emotional effect,
我想很多人都会有这种反应
as I imagine it would have on many people.
我已经竭尽全力给你们找个合适的家
I've done the best I can to find a suitable home for you,
但我做什么似乎都不够好
but nothing I do seems to be good enough.
如今有了这份完全合法的遗嘱
And now, faced with a perfectly legal last will and testament
你们将会被托付给一个
that will place you in the care
你们昨天才认识的水手
of a sailor you met yesterday,
而你们这时开始
you start to spout these
嚷嚷这些无稽的指责
wild, McCarthyesque accusations.
他说得对
What he said.
但假如你们坚持的话...
But if you insist...
我会向你们证明贾船长和奥拉夫伯爵
I will prove to you that Captain Sham and Count Olaf
是两个完全不同的人
are two completely different people,
我会逐条解释
step by step,
像说给婴儿听那样
as if you were babies.
你们的开心点芝士汉堡
Here are your Cheer-Up Cheeseburgers!
奥拉夫伯爵有一根长眉毛
Count Olaf has one long eyebrow.
我想问问...
I meant to ask...
而贾船长戴了个眼罩
While Captain Sham has one eyepatch.
在潮湿的天气里我几乎眨不了眼
During damp weather, I can hardly wink.
你们中有没有人对什么食物过敏...
if any of you had any food allergies...
奥拉夫伯爵左脚踝上有文身
Count Olaf has a tattoo of an eye on his left ankle.
我好知会厨师一声...
so I might've informed the chef...
而贾船长左脚踝处
While Captain Sham has half a broomstick
只有半根扫帚
where his left ankle should've been.
我们喜欢称之为"假腿"
We prefer the term "peg leg."
他绝对不会希望
who certainly would not want
有人因食物过敏...
anyone to have an allergic reaction...
奥拉夫伯爵和约瑟芬之前应该没见过
Count Olaf would have just met Josephine.
而被迫离开餐厅
that would force them to leave the restaurant.
而贾船长和她认识好多年了
While Captain Sham has known her for many years.
和她的丈夫也是他叫什么来着
Along with her husband, what's-his-name.