雷蒙·斯尼奇的不幸历险（2017）

A Series of Unfortunate Events S01E02

Part 1 July 20, 2020, 3:16 p.m.

雷蒙斯尼奇的不幸历险第一季第二集
雷蒙斯尼奇的不幸历险
改编自雷蒙斯尼奇原著
电视剧本创作
丹尼尔·汉德勒
Look away
别看了
Look away
别看了
Look away
快别看了
Look away
真心别看了
This show will wreck your evening,
看了这剧晚上睡不着
your whole life and your day
白天闷得慌人生都绝望
Every single episode
每一集
is nothing but dismay
都只会让你心塞
So look away
所以别看了
Look away
别看了
Look away
别看了
Three children lose their home
三个孩子失去家园
and go to live with someone awful
搬进了大坏蛋家
He tries to steal their fortune
他想盗取他们的财产
with a plot that's not quite lawful
不惜使用违法手段
It's hard to fathom how the orphans manage to live through it
简直难以想象孤儿们是如何渡过艰险
Or how a decent person like yourself would even wants to view it
或是你这种正派的好人怎么忍♥心观看
Just look a way
快别看了
Look away
别看了
There's nothing but horror
等待你的只有
and inconvenience on the way
恐怖和麻烦
Ask any stable person
去随便问个正常的人
should I watch
"这剧该看吗"
and they'll say
他们都会告诉你
look away
"赶紧别看了"
Look away
别看了
Look away
别看了
Look away
别看了
Look away
别看了
Look away
别看了
Look away
别看了
Look away
别看了
Look away
别看了
坏开头
下
理发
城市地图
我家
还有能咬的东西
他是个酒鬼
他明显是觊觎我们的财产
是在商店买♥♥的
戏剧
戏剧
地方法规
地方法规
婚姻法
唉
真可怕
婚姻法
婚姻法
开什么玩笑
婚姻法
奥拉夫伯爵制♥作♥ 《奇妙的婚姻》
阿尔·方库特作品奥拉夫伯爵主演
呵呵
我学得快
当然
你的明星梦将我们置于险境
但你的初衷是好的
领养法和你
秘密组织不完整历史
剧院惊魂夜孤儿们获救
杰奎琳麻烦把波德莱尔的文件拿进来
Jacquelyn, could you bring the Baudelaire file in here, please?
你好我叫雷蒙·斯尼奇
Hello, my name is Lemony Snicket,
很抱歉告诉你
and I'm sorry to say that
你正在观看的这部所谓的娱乐节目
the alleged entertainment you are watching
极度地令人不快
is extremely unpleasant.
杰奎琳麻烦把波德莱尔的文件拿进来
Jacquelyn, could you bring the Baudelaire file in here, please?
从这个悲惨的故事的开头
From the beginning of this miserable tale
到它最后致郁的一幕
to the last melancholy scene,
没有一句台词一个词汇
I cannot think of a single line, a single word,
不令我感到刻骨的寒意
that does not chill me to my deepest bones.
杰奎琳麻烦把波德莱尔的文件拿进来
Jacquelyn, could you bring the Baudelaire file in here, please?
然而波德莱尔孤儿的悲惨历史
However, the sad history of the Baudelaire orphans
并不是从坡先生
did not begin in the private,
这间位于赔偿金理财的
somewhat ill-decorated office of Mr. Poe
寒碜的私人办公室开始的
at Mulctuary Money Management.
杰奎琳麻烦把波德莱尔的文件拿进来
Jacquelyn, could you bring the Baudelaire file in here, please?
也不是在海水滩
Nor does their story begin
这个阴沉多云的早晨开始的
on this gray and cloudy morning at Briny Beach,
波德莱尔家的孩子
where the Baudelaire children,
维奥蕾特克劳斯和珊妮
Violet, Klaus and Sunny,
就是在这里收到了噩耗
received terrible news.
你们的父母在一场大火中罹难了
Your parents have perished in a terrible fire.
实际上波德莱尔孤儿的故事
In fact, the tale of the Baudelaire orphans
早在发生那场
begins long before the fire
烧毁了一切的大火之前就开始了
which left the children with practically nothing to their names.
他们的故事开始于
Their story begins before their
他们在坡家短暂而令人不快的借宿之前
brief and unpleasant stay with the Poe family.
开始于他们遇见施特劳斯法官之前
It begins before the children meet Justice Strauss,
她是位和善的女士但很不幸
a nice lady who, unfortunately,
并非他们的监护人
is not their guardian.
开始于一位脚踝上文了
And before the Baudelaire orphans
神秘眼形文身的可怕演员
were placed under the care of a terrible actor
成为他们的监护人之前
with a mysterious tattoo of an eye on his ankle,
他让小波德莱尔们睡在一间可怕的房♥间里
who made the Baudelaires sleep in an awful room,
逼他们做一系列又难又烦的家务
do a series of difficult and irritating chores,
还让他们为他那个
and cook dinner for his
名声狼藉且毫无才华的剧团准备晚餐
disreputable and largely untalented theater troupe,
并导致了一个
resulting in an act of
本不该在屏幕上放出来的暴♥力♥之举
violence that ought not to be shown on-screen.
你也许会问"为什么"
"Why?" You may ask.
波德莱尔孤儿
Why did the Baudelaire orphans
为什么会遭遇这一系列的不幸
suffer through this series of unfortunate events?
为何一对善良细心的父母养育出来的
How did the resourceful and intelligent children
聪明机智的孩子
of kindly and attentive parents
最终竟落入了奥拉夫伯爵手中
end up in the care of Count Olaf?
这个问题的答案
That answer,
在那场吞噬了波德莱尔家的大火发生后不久
at least, can be found shortly after the fire
终于可以揭晓了
that claimed the Baudelaire home.
就在坡先生这间位于赔偿金理财的
Inside the private, somewhat ill-decorated office of Mr. Poe
寒碜的私人办公室里
at Mulctuary Money Management.
杰奎琳麻烦把波德莱尔的文件拿进来
Jacquelyn, could you bring the Baudelaire file in here, please?
你们知道我最常被问到的问题是什么吗
Do you know what the question I'm asked most is?
"能请你离开这里吗"
"Will you please leave the premises?"
"我为什么要做这个"
"Why do I do it?"
"奥拉夫伯爵" 他们问道
"Count Olaf," they ask me,
"你为什么要当演员"
"why are you an actor?
为什么不去做模特
Why not a model,
或者去做有钱的花♥花♥公♥子♥
or a millionaire playboy?
为何要响应那首
Why respond to the siren song
西语中叫《剧院》的海妖之歌♥
that the Spanish call 'El Theater'?"
-为了名和利吗 -错
- For fame and fortune? - No.
-为了起立欢呼吗 -错
- For standing ovation? - No.
为了那些戏服
For the costumes!
戏服呢
Where are the costumes?
没人带戏服来吗
Nobody brought the costumes?
待在车里
Stay in the car.
我们能听广播吗
Can we listen to the radio?
不能
No.
我们必须联♥系♥上他们试试秘鲁
Well, we've got to reach them. Try Peru.
继续试没错有急事
Well, keep trying. Yes, it's an emergency.
我正努力盯着呢但是...
I'm keeping an eye on things best I can, but...
我等下再打给你
Let me call you back.
-我预约了的 -姓名
- I have an appointment. - Name?
理发
Haircut.
理发
Haircut?
对...西卡·理发就是我的名字
Yes... sica Haircut is my name.
堆西卡·理发
Yessica Haircut?
对堆西卡
Yes. Yessica.
杰奎琳麻烦把波德莱尔的文件拿进来
Jacquelyn, could you bring the Baudelaire file in here, please?
有许多的警探