雷蒙·斯尼奇的不幸历险（2017）

A Series of Unfortunate Events S01E02

Part 2 July 20, 2020, 3:16 p.m.

There are many police inspectors,
热心市民和电视台高管
concerned citizens and television executives
纷纷对波德莱尔孤儿
who have expressed confusion
为何会沦落到
as to how the Baudelaire orphans
奥拉夫伯爵的"监护"之下表示不解
ended up in Count Olaf's so-called care.
我身后的场景被称为"闪回"
The scene you see behind me is called a flashback.
这个词在这里的意思是
That is a word which here means
"发生在上一集
"taken place during the events of the last episode,
波德莱尔大火之后不久
shortly after the Baudelaire fire
波德莱尔家的孩子们
and during the Baudelaire children's
凄惨地待在坡家的期间"
unfortunate stay with the Poe family."
我现在展示给你们看
I present it to you now
是希望警探热心市民
in the hopes that the police inspectors, concerned citizens
和电视台高管们
and television executives
能别再来烦我了
might finally leave me alone.
你好银行的
Hello, banker man.
我来这里正是为波德莱尔大火
The Baudelaire fire is precisely why I'm here.
是文件不是大火
File, not fire.
我说的是文件
I said file.
请允许我自我介绍一下
Allow me to introduce myself,
因为从我的痣就能看出
because, as you can see from my mole,
我们从未见过
we've never met before.
从我的大衣帽子和领巾上就能看出
As you can see from my coat, hat and ascot,
我是来办正事的
I'm here on business.
从我的墨镜就能看出...
And as you can see from my sunglasses...
外面很亮
it's bright out.
我是来向你咨♥询♥波德莱尔遗嘱的
I'm here to consult with you on the Baudelaire will,
我知道你是遗嘱的行刑人
for which I understand you are the executioner.
执行人
Executor.
是在发生一场可怕的大火之后
Person who controls people's fortunes
掌控人们的财产的人
after a terrible fire has just happened.
我的名字...
My name...
是堆西卡·理发
is Yessica Haircut.
奇了怪了
That's strange.
我现在正好预约了理发
I have an appointment for a haircut right now.
杰奎琳麻烦取消掉那个理发
Jacquelyn, please cancel that haircut.
坡先生有件急事...
Mr. Poe, there's an urgent matter--
不我想听听这位理发先生要说什么
No, no. I wanna hear what this man Haircut has to say.
我想提款
I'd like to make a withdrawal.
我不知道这位先生
Well, I don't know, Mr.--
-是伯爵... -伯爵
- Count... - Count?
我一定会告诉你我的名字我叫...
...on me to tell you my name, which is Mr...
堆西卡·理发先生
Yessica Haircut.
好吧理发先生波德莱尔遗嘱
Well, Mr. Haircut, the Baudelaire will
对波德莱尔夫妇若过早离世
states very clearly what is to happen
该如何安排后事做了非常清楚的陈述
in the event of the untimely deaths of Mr. And Mrs. Baudelaire.
孩子们将送由最亲近的亲戚抚养
They are to be raised by their closest living relative,
看来是一位颇有声望的科学家叫做...
who appears to be a renowned scientist by the name of--
一方面要讲科学银行家先生
It is one thing to listen to science, Mr. Banker Man.
-我叫坡 -一方面还要倾听顾问的意见
- Poe. - It is another to listen to the advice of a consultant.
而我正好从事重要的真正的专业咨♥询♥工作
And in my important actual consulting expertise business,
我认为"最亲近的亲戚"唯一的意思就是...
the phrase "closest living relative" can mean only one thing...
"住得最近的亲戚"
"whoever lives nearby."
真的吗你这么认为吗
Really? You think so?
我愿用我的身家打赌
I would stake my fortune on it.
否则我就不叫我告诉你的那个名字
Or my name's not whatever it is I told you it was.
这样的话
Well, in that case,
我们需要一张城市地图
we're going to need a map of the city.
我觉得和波德莱尔一家住得最近的
I think the person nearest to the Baudelaires
是著名演员
is renowned actor
英俊的奥拉夫伯爵
and handsome man, Count Olaf.
伯爵...
Count...
从未听说过这个人
Never heard of him.
有多本小杂♥志♥的戏剧评论
He's been favorably mentioned in theatrical reviews
都对他赞赏有加
in several small magazines.
他的名字叫...
His name is pronounced...
奥拉夫伯爵
Count Olaf.
如果我没弄错的话他就住在...
And if I'm not mistaken, he lives right...
这里
right here.
这真的是离得最近的吗
Is that really the closest?
是的绝对肯定
Yes, absolutely, for sure.
杰奎琳你能拿一把很大的尺子进来吗
Jacquelyn, can you please bring in a very large ruler?
杰奎琳
Jacquelyn?
我想我只能自己去拿了
Guess I'll get it myself.
在赔偿金理财发生的事情
These events at Mulctuary Money Management
导致了各种不幸的事件
resulted in unfortunate events far and near,
从一位被困在一座偏僻公园的女士...
from a woman trapped in a remote park...
你是逃不掉的
You'll never get away with this.
我已经逃掉了
I already did get away with it.
到故事后面三个孤儿的恐怖遭遇
...to three orphans in horrifying circumstances, as our story resumes.
卖♥♥力干活
Put some elbow grease into it!
坡先生把我们送来这里真是大错特错
Mr. Poe must have made a horrible mistake when he took us here.
我们的父母不可能希望奥拉夫伯爵照顾我们
There's no way our parents would want us in Count Olaf's care,
如果这也叫照顾的话
if we can even call it that.
我们要趁奥拉夫伯爵不注意
As soon as Count Olaf's back is turned,
离开这里
we need to leave this house.
我宁愿冒险流浪街头
I'd rather take my chances on the streets
也不愿再待在这里了
than stay here any longer.
如果真流落街头谁知道会发生什么
Who knows what would happen to us on the street?
至少现在我们有个遮风挡雨的地方
At least here we have a roof over our head.
真希望现在就能用父母留给我们的钱
I wish our parents' money could be used now,
而不是要等到你成年
instead of when you come of age.
那我们就能买♥♥一座城♥堡♥住了
Then we could buy a castle and live in it
安排持械护卫在外面巡逻
with armed guards patrolling outside
防止奥拉夫伯爵和他剧团闯入
to keep out Count Olaf and his troupe.
还要一间大发明工作室
With a large inventing studio.
和图书馆
And a library.
麻利点孤儿们还要修椅子呢
Hurry up, orphans. There's reupholstering to be done.
施特劳斯法官说她随时欢迎我们去她家
Justice Strauss said her home was always open to us.
她说她的法律图书馆随时向我们敞开
She said her legal library was always open to us.
这是两回事
It's not the same thing.
坡先生还说我们有什么疑问可以联♥系♥他
Mr. Poe did say we could contact him if we had any questions.
我们并不是有疑问我们是有抱怨
We don't really have a question. We have a complaint.
要我为你热一下吗我还有些坏消息
Can I warm that up for you? And also give you some very bad news?
-什么坏消息 -那个秘书...
- What is it? - It's that secretary--
别在这里说
Not here.
紧急情况
An emergency?
好吧但我很忙
Very well, but I'm quite busy.
我原来的秘书一个得力助手
My old secretary, a distinguished professional
多年来从未请过假莫名失踪了
who showed up without fail for many years, has vanished.
我雇了一名没有工作经验的失业艺术家
I've hired an underemployed artist with no prior experience
还说偶尔需要请假去参加试镜和表演
who needs the occasional day off for auditions and performances.
而且我已经不得不数次重新安排理发时间了
Plus, I've already had to reschedule a haircut several times.
你们有什么事吗
What can I do for you?
奥拉夫伯爵是个疯子
Count Olaf is a madman.
我们不能和他住
We can't stay with him.
他扇了克劳斯一巴掌看见这淤青了没
He struck Klaus across the face. See his bruise?
不好意思
Oh, excuse me.
我是坡
Poe here.
好的
Yes.
好的
Yes.
好的
Yes.
好的
Yes.
好的
Yes.
绝对不行
Absolutely not.
谢谢
Thank you.
很抱歉刚才说到哪了
I'm sorry. What were we talking about?
对了奥拉夫伯爵
Oh, yes, Count Olaf.
很遗憾你们对他的第一印象不好
I'm sorry you don't have a good first impression of him.
他只给我们一张床睡觉
He only provided us with one bed.
他让我们做很多很难的家务活儿