雷蒙·斯尼奇的不幸历险（2017）

A Series of Unfortunate Events S01E01

Part 3 July 20, 2020, 3:16 p.m.

晚安小波德莱尔们
Good night, Baudelaires.
记住我们家就是你们家
Remember, our home is your home.
但什么都别碰
But don't touch anything.
你们怎么做到的
How'd you do it?
什么
Do what?
放火
Set the fire.
后来
In the years since,
我打听过坡兄弟的情况
I've inquired what became of the Brothers Poe.
一个追随父亲进入银行业
One followed his father into the world of banking.
另一个住在洞里跟羊说话
The other lives in a cave and talks to sheep.
他们都认为另一个过得更好
They each think the other has it better.
我很遗憾地告诉你
I regret to inform you,
小波德莱尔们的命运更糟
the Baudelaires' fate was worse.
快点波德莱尔们
Chop-chop, Baudelaires!
我给你们找到了合适的监护人
Now that I've found you a suitable guardian,
我要赶在银行开门之前
I'm going to take you to your new home
带你们去新家
before banking hours begin.
我知道你们对跟监护人住肯定很紧张
I know you must be nervous about living with a guardian.
我还记得我像你们这么大时候的样子
I remember how I was when I was your age.
我们年龄都不一样
We're all different ages.
我认为你们的不快乐至少会有那么一点
Well, I should think at least a fraction of your unhappiness
在见到此人后将变成兴奋
will turn to excitement when you meet this man.
我知道他是很急切想见到你们
I know he's certainly very eager to meet you.
而且他是个演员
And he's employed as an actor,
所以你知道他的兴奋不是装的
so you know his excitement is genuine.
他叫奥拉夫伯爵
His name is Count Olaf.
-没听说过 -他是...我想想什么来着
- Never heard of him. - He's either... Let's see. What is it?
你们差三代隔四辈的亲戚
Your third cousin fourth time removed,
或是差四代隔三辈的亲戚
or your fourth cousin three times removed.
总之他是远亲
In any case, he's removed.
不过他家只有三英里远
Still, he's only three miles away,
你们父母明确指示
and your parents' will was very specific
要让你们住得最近的亲戚抚养你们
about your being raised by your closest living relative.
他真以为是"住得"最近不是"关系"最近吗
Does he really think that's what "closest living relative" means?
坡先生
Mr. Poe?
如果他住得那么近
If he lives so close by,
我们父母怎么从没请他来过家里
why didn't our parents ever invite him over?
可能是因为他很忙
Possibly because he was very busy.
作为银行家我也总在忙
As a banker, I'm often very busy myself.
所以送你们去监护人那里得速战速决了
Which is why this guardian drop-off is going to be a bit hasty.
"速战速决"是"快点"的意思
"Hasty" means "quickly,"
因为我还得赶去银行
because I'm due at the bank soon.
我们知道"速战速决"的意思
We know what "hasty" means.
你们好致意你好
Hello there! Salutations! Shalom!
你们是波德莱尔家的孩子吧
You must be the Baudelaire children!
对我是维奥蕾特·波德莱尔
Yes, I'm Violet Baudelaire,
这是我弟弟克劳斯我妹妹珊妮
and this is my brother, Klaus, and this is my sister, Sunny.
这是坡先生他一直在帮我们作安排
And this is Mr. Poe. He's been arranging things for us.
赔偿金理财名字和头衔在名片上
Mulctuary Money Management. My name and title are on the card.
不过我或许能升职那名片就得改了
Although I may be in line for a promotion, so that might change.
好我是高等法♥院♥的施特劳斯法官
Oh, well, I am Justice Strauss of the High Court.
原谅我不跟你们握手但是你们看到了
Forgive my not shaking hands, but as you can see,
我抱着一堆东西呢
I am a mountain of parcels.
我刚买♥♥了新工具箱我的食物处理器坏了
I just bought a new toolkit because my food processor broke.
不过真不知我想骗谁呢
Although I don't know who I think I'm kidding,
我完全没有发明或机械方面的知识技能
because I have no inventive or mechanical skill whatsoever.
我还给我的私人图书馆买♥♥了新档案卡来奖励自己
Then I treated myself to new file cards for my private library,
老实说我的文字感不强
and frankly I don't have an acute literary sense.
雪上加霜的是我忘记买♥♥新面包刀了
And then, to top it all off, I forgot to buy a new bread knife.
所以我根本没法把这根法国面包棍切成
It means I have no possible way of cutting up this baguette
可食大小的段
into bite-sized pieces,
这太不幸了
which is really unfortunate
因为我本打算拿切好的面包
because I was gonna take the bread that was cut up
配白鹰嘴豆泥
with a white bean hummus--
我们非常乐意帮忙施特劳斯法官
We'd be more than happy to be of assistance, Justice Strauss.
我姐姐很有机械头脑
My sister is very mechanically minded,
我擅长图书馆学
and I'm quite adept at library science.
我妹妹是在说她的牙正好能切面包
What my sister means is her teeth are perfect for slicing bread.
太棒了
Well, how wonderful!
我真是幸运能遇上这么不寻常的孩子
How lucky am I to have such unusual children in my life?
你是奥拉夫伯爵的妻子吗
Are you Count Olaf's wife?
什么
What?
不
Oh, no!
不不老天爷不是
No. No. Goodness me, no.
不我跟他并不熟
No, I don't even really know him that well.
他是...我的邻居
He's... he's just my neighbor.
他家就在那边
His house is over there.
好奇怪
That's strange.
他还特别说
He said specifically
他迫不及待想把你们弄到手
he was waiting very eagerly to get his hands on you.
你好不
Hello. No.
你好
Hello.
你好你好你好
Hello, hello, hello.
你好你好
Hello. Hello.
你好你好你好孩子们
Hello, hello, hello, children.
我是奥拉夫伯爵
I am Count Olaf,
著名演员你们的新监护人
the renowned actor and your new guardian.
你们不客气
You're welcome.
谢谢
Thank you.
你们不客气
You're welcome.
请进在垫子上擦擦鞋
Please, come in, and mind you wipe your feet on the mat
别把泥带进来
so you don't track in any mud.
别忘了你们的巨额财产
And don't forget your enormous fortune!
欢迎光临寒舍孤儿们
Welcome to my humble home, orphans.
还有
And...
-戴帽子的男人 -坡[穷]
- a man with a hat on. - Poe.
其实我就要有钱了
Actually, I'm about to be rather wealthy.
原谅我...
So if you'll excuse me--
不我们通过电♥话♥ 我是赔偿金理财的
No, we spoke on the phone. I'm from Mulctuary Money Management.
"金"是耳熟但
"Money" sounds familiar, but--
银行我是银行的
The bank. I'm from the bank.
是这样银行
Ah, yes, the bank.
欢迎光临寒舍
Well, welcome to my humble home.
这里是需要修葺一下
It does seem to need a little work.
我知道这里不如波德莱尔别♥墅♥豪华
Well, I realize it's not as fancy as the Baudelaire mansion,
但或许孩子们有了你们的钱
but perhaps, children, with a bit of your money,
我们能把这里收拾得好一些
we'll be able to fix it up, make it nicer.
奥拉夫伯爵
Count Olaf,
波德莱尔财产不能被用来做这种事
the Baudelaire fortune is not to be used for such matters.
波德莱尔的遗嘱中
The Baudelaire will is very specific
明确规定了一旦发生不幸
as to how the children are to be raised
要如何养大孩子
in case of an unfortunate event.
是啊火灾
Ah, yes, the fire.
他们要被最近的亲属养大
They're to be raised by their closest relative.
那就是我奥拉夫伯爵
That is I, Count Olaf.
全部的波德莱尔财产都会被好好保管
And every cent of the Baudelaire fortune is locked up
直到维奥蕾特成年
until Violet comes of age.
-哪个是维奥蕾特 -长女
- Which one is Violet? - The eldest.
那好吧
All right, then.
希望我可以证明自己是你们从未有过的父亲
Well, I hope I can prove myself to be the father you never had.
我们有过父亲
We had a father.
我知道
Yes, I know.
还有母亲
And a mother.
了不起的女人
Remarkable woman.
可燃的
Flammable.
坡我还要签字接收他们吗
So, Poe, do I need to sign for them or something?
什么不用
What? No. No.
那么
Well, then,
就像我们戏剧界说的右侧下台
as we say in the theater, exit stage right.
再见维奥蕾特
Goodbye, Violet.