雷蒙·斯尼奇的不幸历险（2017）

A Series of Unfortunate Events S01E02

Part 4 July 20, 2020, 3:16 p.m.

Killing us will do him no good.
那参加《奇妙的婚姻》的演出
What good would it do to be in a performance
又有什么好处呢
of The Marvelous Marriage?
婚姻就像分享一份漂浮沙士
Marriage is like sharing a root beer float,
或是同意做马戏服的屁♥股♥部分
or agreeing to be the back half of a horse costume.
即使是一场表演
Even when it's happening onstage,
也只该跟你爱的人同台演出
you should only do it with the people you love.
我从没结过婚
I have never been married myself.
我曾经疯狂地爱上了
I once desperately loved
一位非常勇敢和了不起的女人
a remarkably brave and bravely remarkable woman,
当我问她能否嫁给我时
who, when I asked her if she would be my wife,
她却因为复杂而莫测的原因
found, for complicated and unfathomable reasons,
不能给我任何回答
she could give me no answer.
没人回应
No answer.
波德莱尔们好高兴见到你们
Baudelaires! I'm so happy to see you.
你们是来继续你们的研究吗
Are you here to continue your research?
施特劳斯法官我们其实是来研究其他东西的
Actually, Justice Strauss, we're here to research something else.
你有关于戏剧的书吗
Do you have any books on the theater?
戏剧
Ah, the theater.
看来你们开始适应由一位演员做监护人了
I see you're settling in to having an actor for a guardian.
我对戏剧很感兴趣
I have quite the interest in theater, you know.
背诵台词向观众屈膝敬礼
Learning lines and curtseying for the audience
穿戏服
and wearing costumes.
我愿意用我所有的假发换取一次穿戏服的机会
I would give up every last wig just to wear a costume.
施特劳斯法官你有地方法规书籍吗
Justice Strauss, do you have anything on local ordinances?
地方法规
Ah, local ordinances.
等等你确定吗
Wait, are you sure?
连我都不喜欢读这种书
Even I don't like reading such books,
我可是在高等法♥院♥工作
and I work at the High Court.
我其实在考虑做法律方面的工作
I'm actually considering a career in law.
我觉得这些书很有趣
I find those books quite fascinating.
各有所爱嘛
Well, to each his own.
这世上有各种各样的书
There are countless types of books in this world,
这也合情合理
which makes good sense
因为世上有各种各样的人
because there are countless types of people.
珊妮你哥哥姐姐沉浸在书本的海洋中
Sunny, would you like to come with me into the garden
你要不要和我去花♥园♥
while your siblings tackle all this reading?
克劳斯你的脸怎么了
Klaus, what's happened to your face?
我们也想弄清楚
We're trying to find out.
我有关于麻疹的书
Well, I do have a section on rashes.
就在中国车旁边
It's right next to Chinese cars.
好看吗老板
Isn't it beautiful, boss?
不行应该是精致迷人的
No, no, no, it should be delicate! Fetching!
还要有雪纺裙裾就像...
And a chiffon train rippling down like... like--
-就像瀑布 -就像撕裂的伤口
- Like a waterfall. - Like an open wound.
没错
Exactly.
*奥拉夫伯爵到他有点爱炫耀*
*Here comes Count Olaf A bit of a show off*
-什么 -没有别的和"到"押韵的词了
- What? - Nothing else rhymes with Count Olaf.
有很多词和"奥拉夫伯爵到"押韵
There are plenty of things that rhyme with Count Olaf.
风味饭
Rice pilaf!
知道了
Got it.
我只是觉得即使大环境有变
I just think, even in changing context,
婚姻本质上也是父权社会的结构
that marriage is an inherently patriarchal construction
这只会加剧这个星球上
that is likely to further the hegemonic juggernaut
原本就引发无数问题的
that's problematizing, uh...
核
Nuclear.
裸体主义
Nudism.
块金
Nugget.
婚姻
Nuptial.
我得出去一趟
Uh-oh, gotta go.
霸权主宰...
on the planet and...
你要走了吗
Are you leaving?
施特劳斯法官
Justice Strauss?
怎么了
Yes?
我能问你点事吗
May I ask you something?
当然了
Certainly.
好了小可爱
Oh, there we go, sweet girl.
好了
Good.
问吧这是法学家之间的交流
Yes, as one legal scholar to another?
"婚姻缔结的条件
"The only nuptial requirements are
只需双方都声明自愿同意
a statement of active acquiescence by both participants,
必要的话可是代替父母同意
utilizing in loco parentis if necessary,
以及新娘亲手签署一份说明文件"
and the signing of an explanatory document in the bride's own hand."
这是我所理解的意思吗
Does that mean what I think it means?
我想这取决于你认为这到底是什么意思
Well, I suppose it depends upon what you think it means.
意思是你要当明星了
It means you're going to be a star.
奥拉夫伯爵
Count Olaf!
请称我为你的守护演员
Please, call me your guardian actor.
施特劳斯法官你马上就会发现
Justice Strauss, you are about to find
你那无聊的法律"乏律"生涯
your drab, legal beagle existence
将要变得光彩夺目却不失优雅
transformed into something mind-blowing, and yet extremely classy,
你将成为奥拉夫伯爵
when you become the exciting new face
下一部作品中的新面孔
of the next Count Olaf production.
你是说...
You mean...
你有成为阿尔·方库特新剧中
You have got the star quality necessary for a
一个小龙套角色的完美潜质
small walk-on role in Al Funcoot's new play.
我从小就想当一名演员
I've wanted to be an actress since I was young.
但是我的戏剧老师说我的机会很渺茫
Although, my drama teacher told me my chances were slim
因为我的身姿所以我投身法律
because of my posture, and so I went into the law,
-但现在... -现在你可以看到
- but now-- - Now, you can see it.
-幕布升起 -幕布
- The curtain rises. - Curtain?
-观众鼓掌 -观众
- The audience applauds. - Audience!
而你走上舞台扮演一名法官
And you walk onto stage, dressed as a judge.
-一名法官 -这是一个非常重要的角色
- A judge! - It's a very important part,
尽管演员表上不会有你的名字
although you won't be listed in the program.
你将站在一名非常帅气的人面前由我饰演
You will stand in front of a very handsome man, played by me...
我能和奥拉夫伯爵同台演出
I get to share the stage with Count Olaf?
而光彩照人的新娘
...while a stunningly-costumed bride,
则由维奥蕾特饰演将会站在我身旁
played by Violet, stands beside me.
你真幸运维奥蕾特
You are so lucky, Violet.
我这辈子一直想成为新娘
All my life I wanted to be a bride,
但我遇到的男人不是被我的法律学位吓倒
but it seems all the men I meet are intimidated by my law degree,
就是痴迷于模型火车
or obsessed with model trains.
由我亲自设计的
A gorgeous...
华美结婚礼服
bridal dress of my own design...
你则会主持整场婚礼仪式
while you perform the entire wedding ceremony,
分毫不差地说出每句台词
getting each and every word exactly right,
与此同时我们签一份
while we sign a document
由你从市政厅带来的文件以增加真实性
which you shall bring from City Hall for added realism.
施特劳斯法官他在密谋些什么
Justice Strauss, he's up to something.
我只想
What I am up to
让施特劳斯法官的梦想成真
is making Justice Strauss' dreams come true.
你会突然发现自己
You will suddenly find yourself
成了一位令人羡慕的奋斗的中年演员
in the enviable position of being a struggling actress in middle age.
简直美好得不真实
It's almost too good to be true.
确实不是施特劳斯法官奥拉夫伯爵要
It is. Justice Strauss, Count Olaf is--
奥拉夫伯爵是在欢迎你们走进他的生活
Count Olaf is welcoming you into his life
让你们成为这个戏剧项目重要的组成部分
by making you an important part of this theatrical enterprise.
孩子们走吧
Children, go.
回家吧
Go home.
多花点时间跟新爸爸相处
Spend some time with your new father.
抓住今天
Carpe diem!
抓住那些孩子
Seize the children!
-抓住今天 -我说的是今天
- Seize the day. - I said day.
老板我这儿有三种奶油糖霜
Boss, I have three kinds of butter cream icing here
供你品尝
for you to sample.
一种是香草味的一种有点肉豆蔻味
One's vanilla, one has a hint of nutmeg
还有一种有点柠檬味[雷蒙]
and the other's a little lemony.
我告诉过你不许说那个词
I told you never to say that word.
带孤儿到楼上卧室去周五之前不准下来
Take these orphans upstairs to their bedroom until Friday.
这期间我都用不到他们