白金狂人（2017）

Whom do we have here, brother?
兄弟 所来何人
Messrs Swan, Lavender and Fitzpatrick, Worshipful Master.
是Swan先生 Lavender先生和Fitzpatrick先生 尊主
All recommended in open lodge, come of their own free will
他们在分会中被推荐 自愿来到这里
to be admitted to the mysteries of Freemasonry.
加入神秘的共济会
Do you feel anything?
有感觉吗
Steady on.
轻点哦
Sorry.
抱歉
Sorry, I've got sensitive nipples.
抱歉 我的乳♥头♥很敏感
It's a medical condition.
是一种病症
Er, actually, do you think we could do the other leg?
呃 我们能不能换一条腿
What are they laughing at? Nothing.
他们在笑什么 没什么
Silence!
安静
As decreed by our founding brothers,
创立共济会的先辈们规定
any man transgressing the vows you are about to partake
但凡有人违反以下誓言
will have his throat cut,
将会被割开喉咙
his tongue removed and his bowels fed to the birds.
拔出舌头 肠子被掏出来喂鸟
Welcome to the crazy, fun world of Freemasonry.
欢迎来到疯狂 有趣的共济会
In case you didn't know, the Masons is a secret club for local businessmen,
如果你不了解的话 共济会是由本地商人组成的秘密俱乐部
a bit like the Boy Scouts, only much, much creepier.
有点像童子军 只不过要诡异得多
Exclusively male, fiercely secretive and murderously loyal,
只招收男性 极其保密 无比忠诚
its members swear to help their brothers whenever in need,
共济会成员发誓无条件帮助其他兄弟
which is handy, because I have a pressing need
还挺方便的 因为我现在迫切地需要
to sell my brothers shitloads of new windows.
向我的兄弟们推销一大堆新窗户
Now, in case you were wondering how the Cachet boys came
如果你在好奇 金牌窗业的伙计们
to join the Moonies...
如何想到要加入共济会
A few weeks back,
几周前
I took Ronnie out for a liquid lunch to soften him up.
我请Ronnie吃了一顿"液体午餐"来讨好他
Now, maybe it's not a great idea to be driven around by a drunken psycho
或许被一个喝醉的疯子开车载着不是个好主意
who's trying to open his car door with a flick knife.
尤其是当他还试图用弹簧刀打开车门
But then you might not need an actual cash bonus as much as I do.
但你应该不像我那样迫切地需要一笔现金奖励
So, what is it you want, Vincent?
你想要什么 Vincent
I'm old enough and ugly enough
我活了这么多年 长得又丑
to know when I'm being buttered up.
一眼就能看出谁想巴结我
I need to talk to you about bonuses.
我要跟你谈谈奖金的事
Jesus!
老天爷
You're on the wrong side of the road, mate.
你开错道了 兄弟
I gave you boys a bonus last month.
我上个月刚给你们发了奖金
Yeah, a lovely glass chess set it was, as well, Ronnie,
是啊 那盘玻璃象棋很漂亮 Ronnie
but it isn't going to put my number-one son
但是它没法帮我把宝贝儿子
through private school after he fails his 11-plus.
在他小学毕业考不及格后送进私立学校读书
Look, I know sales haven't been spectacular...
听着 我知道最近业绩不太理想
What the fuck do you call that? Terrible timing?
那个他妈的是什么 糟糕的时机
You assured me you had this under control, Vincent.
你向我保证过你能控制好局面 Vincent
I'm working on it.
我在努力
Well, evidently not hard enough.
很显然还不够努力
And while we're at it, since you sacked Brendan,
顺带一句 自从你开除了Brendan
we've been leaking casual repair work
我们频繁给人提供修理服务
like rainwater through one of Barry's bodge-job conservatories.
就像雨水从Barry搭的垃圾玻璃暖房♥里漏出来一样汹涌
I've a good mind to take that glass chess set back.
我都想着把那盘玻璃象棋要回来了
Red light! Nah, I'll make it.
红灯 放心 来得急
Fuck's sake.
他妈的
Bollocks.
该死的
Now look what you made me do.
瞧瞧你都让我做了些什么
Is it all right if I borrow your Bentley while you're banned from driving, boss?
在你被禁止开车期间 我能借你的宾利车用一用吗老板
Sir, are you aware that you just jumped a red light?
先生 你知道你闯了红灯吗
Cor blimey, how much have you had to drink?
老天爷 你究竟喝了多少
Out of the car, now.
赶紧给我下车
Blessings of the holy order upon you.
共济会保佑你
May brotherly love prevail.
兄弟之爱万岁
What the fuck just happened?
刚刚他妈的发生了什么
Ah, he's on the square.
啊 他是会员
He is a fellow member of the Essex illuminati.
是埃塞克斯光明会的一员
He a fucking Freemason, you nugget.
他是共济会兄弟 你个蠢货
Like me.
和我一样
The Masons.
共济会
An ancient all-male brotherhood devoted to spirituality,
一个古老的兄弟会 致力于提升思想
good works and breaking the law to benefit your mates.
行善积德 和违反法律包庇兄弟
Perfect for me, apart from the good works.
很适合我 除了行善的部分
And the spirituality.
还有提升思想的部分
This is disappointing. Why?
这也太令人失望了 为啥
I don't know.
我不知道
I thought these lodges were a cover
我以为这些分会只是掩护
for respectable men to get up to all sorts, you know?
让体面的人私下里乱来 你懂吗
Getting shit-faced and cavorting with strippers and prozzies.
喝到烂醉 跟脱衣舞♥女♥和妓♥女♥寻欢作乐
No, that's the double-glazing industry.
不 在双层玻璃产业才会这样
I must admit, though, I had hoped it would be a bit more...
但我得承认 我一开始还期待着它会更
..Satanic.
邪恶一点
Well, maybe they lull you into a false sense of security
或许他们只是假装营造一种安全感
by making it seem like a more boring version of the Chamber of Commerce,
让它表面上看起来比商会还无聊
and then - wham! -
然后砰的一下
they sacrifice a goat and fire up a pagan orgy.
他们开始献祭活羊 开始了异教♥徒♥群♥交♥大会
We're not here for the shits and giggles, gentlemen,
我们不是来嘻嘻哈哈的 伙计们
this is a business opportunity. Speaking of which...
这是一次商业机遇 说起这个
An honour to be admitted to your order, Worshipful Master.
很荣幸加入你们的共济会 尊主
Now, can I interest you in a conservatory?
请问你对玻璃暖房♥感兴趣吗
Are you kidding me?
开什么玩笑
They've let George fucking Worst into the Masons before us.
他们居然让这位George Worst比我们先加入共济会
Christ. What sort of exclusive society IS this?
老天爷 这算哪门子高档组织
A fucking shit one, that's the answer.
一个狗屎组织才对
Apart from the opportunities to drink and drive.
除了有酒后驾车的机会
Yeah, obviously, the drink-driving is a massive perk.
显然酒后驾车是个巨大的好处
Here you go, Worshipful Master.
给 尊主
Thank you very much.
非常感谢
Don't mind if I do.
那我就不客气了
Brother Ronnie said you're a cheeky bugger.
Ronnie兄弟说过你是个厚脸皮的玩意儿
Didn't think this would be your scene.
没想过你会来这里
Why is that?
为什么
Well, Freemasonry is built on moral rectitude,
共济会以道德和正直为基本
helping good men become better men through personal growth.
通过个人成长 让好人变得更好
It just doesn't sound very you, that's all.
听起来不太像你的风格罢了
Not very brotherly, is he?
这位好像没什么兄弟情啊 对不对
Brother Andrew, is that a fitting way to welcome a novice brother?
Andrew兄弟 这样欢迎新入会的兄弟合适吗
Now jog on.
你先走吧
Brother Vincent's flogging me a conservatory.
Vincent兄弟正在给我推售玻璃暖房♥
With a very healthy discount, I imagine.
折扣应该很大吧 我想
A very fucking healthy discount indeed, your Highness.
折扣很他妈大 尊主
As boring as it was - and trust me, it was fucking boring -
虽然很无聊 相信我 真♥他♥妈♥无聊至极
the Masons was at least a distraction from Brian's
共济会至少能让Brian分心
depressing shed-dwelling home life.
暂时忘记他那住在储物棚里的可悲生活
Mind you, it wasn't his only distraction.
不过这不是唯一能让他分心的东西
We can see you perving over us, pervert!
我们看见你在那里偷♥窥♥了 死变♥态♥
I'm not perving.
我没有在偷♥窥♥
We want a word. Get in here.
我们有话要说 进来
All right. Just a minute.
好的 稍等
Brian! I'm coming. Just a minute. Jesus.
Brian 马上就来 天啊
That porch Vincent sold Stacey's mum, it's still bloody leaking.
Vincent卖♥♥给Stacey妈妈的那个门廊 它还在漏水
I've told you, it's not leaking, it's just settling in.
我跟你说过了 那不是漏水 现在是磨合期
It's a porch, not a foster child,
那是门廊 不是寄养的小孩
it shouldn't need time to settle in.
哪里来的磨合期
So funny, Stace
你太搞笑了 Stace
Humour, that's what was missing from our marriage, Brian.
幽默感 我们的婚姻缺的是这个 Brian
Settling in is an industry term.
"磨合"是行话
Give it a week or two, it will be right as rain.
再等一两个礼拜就没问题了
Industry term, my arse.
行话个屁♥股♥
I'd love to, my dear!
我很乐意 亲爱的
Sorry, are you still here?
对不起 你还在啊
You can fuck off to your shed now, you pervert.
你可以滚回你的棚子了 变♥态♥
And stop wanking yourself to death,
然后别撸管把自己撸死了
and sort out Stacey's mum's porch.
赶紧把Stacey妈妈的门廊给解决了
Wench.
女人