白金狂人（2017）

that can't stop thinking about eating food. Yeah.
停不下来想吃东西
Good to put that out at first. Oh, special interests?
一开始就说这个牛逼啊 说到特殊爱好
Well, I like fun, having fun.
我喜欢享乐 喜欢找乐子
I suppose I'm looking for someone who likes having fun.
我觉得我想找个喜欢找乐子的人
Oh, wow, Brian! You're such an enigma!
哇 Brain 你真是个谜一样的男子呢
I never thought I'd meet another human who was interested in fun.
我这辈子都没遇到过第二个热衷享乐的人呢
You've probably already noticed I have incredibly deep brown eyes.
你可能已经注意到了 我的棕色眼眸极其深邃
I've been told that makes me seem mysterious.
别人说这让我看起来更加神秘
By who, the police?
谁说的 警♥察♥吗
I think it's vile.
我觉得这很无♥耻♥
Married men preying on desperate, vulnerable, single women like me.
已婚男人勾搭像我一样绝望又脆弱的单身女人
My friend.
像我朋友一样
I've got a good mind to show this to Maureen.
我特别想把这个拿给Maureen看
Who? Thyroid.
谁 甲状腺肥妹
Finally, I have no history of domestic violence,
最后 我没有家暴史
a clean driving licence.
也无不良行车记录
I do have a cat allergy,
我确实对猫过敏
but I'm willing to take an antihistamine for the right woman.
但我愿意为了我的真命天女吃点抗过敏药
Just to clarify, that is no, N-O history of domestic violence.
再强调一下 我绝对没有家暴史
Don't even know why I brought that up.
根本不明白我为什么要提这事
Unbelievable!
简直不可置信
This, this is a violation of my basic human rights!
这是对我基本人♥权♥的侵犯
Those protests would carry more weight
如果这抗♥议♥不是出自一个玩弄女性的混♥蛋♥之口
if they weren't coming from a philandering shitbag.
那么它将会更有说服力
She's got a point, mate.
她说得对 兄弟
Look, it's not what you think.
事情不是你们想的那样
She's left me. OK?
她离开了我 明白吗
Yeah?
懂吗
So, do me a favour,
所以 就当帮我个忙
and just bloody well leave it alone, will you?
别他妈掺和这事了 行吗
As an indirect result of getting hooked on Brian's amphetamine-based slimming pills,
由于Brian推销的含有兴♥奋♥剂♥成分的减肥药上瘾的间接后果
Maureen had started hitting her local aerobics class.
Maureen开始上本地的健美操课
One, two, three, four, thrust, six, seven,
一 二 三 四 用力 六 七
and, one, two, three, four...
一 二 三 四
**And I, I've got to have my way now, baby...*
*现在我要走我自己的路了 宝贝
OK, and down.
很好 下蹲
Then arch your back.
然后弓腰
As well as getting thighs like Jane Fonda's,
除了拥有如简·方达一样的大腿
she was also getting extra one-on-one tuition...
她还收获了额外的一对一家教服务
..In the art of home lesbionics.
关于女同性恋的艺术
Fitzpatrick was too embarrassed to tell us he turned Maureen gay,
Fitzpatrick觉得告诉我们他把Maureen变成了同性恋太丢脸了
so he moves out of the house and into his shed.
所以他搬了出去 住在他的破棚子里
**You spin me right round, baby*
*你把我转了一圈 宝贝
**Right round like a record, baby Right round, round, round*
*像唱片一样 一圈又一圈
**You spin me right round, baby*
*你带我转了一圈 宝贝
**Right round like a record, baby Right round, round, round.*
*像唱片一样 一圈又一圈
Look, it's probably for the best.
也许现在是最好的结果
I mean, you said yourself there were problems.
我是说 你自己也知道这感情有问题
Let me make you a nice cup of tea to say sorry.
我给你泡杯茶 以表歉意
I mean, don't get me wrong, we despise each other.
别误会 我们互相鄙视对方
It's like when I had that cyst removed last year.
就好像我去年切除的那个囊肿
It was fucking agony at the time, and it definitely had to go,
当时真是太痛苦了 那囊肿一定要切除
but even now, when I look at myself in the mirror,
但是就算现在 我看着镜子里的自己
I just feel like there's someone else staring back at me.
我就觉得好像是别人在盯着我
I thought that cyst was on your arsehole. It was.
我以为那个囊肿在你屁♥眼♥里 是啊
Why are you staring at your arsehole in the mirror, Brian?
Brian 你盯着镜子里自己的屁♥眼♥干什么
That's the only way you can see it.
只有这样才看得见啊
Fair enough. Anyway,
有道理 总之
I've got something that might cheer you boys up.
我有一些好消息 你们可能会喜欢
Bumped into Walshy the other day,
前几天我碰到了Walshy
he's getting back in the business.
他重操旧业了
"W-windows?" Is that a fucking typo?
窗-窗业 这他妈是打错了吗
Well, it's certainly a unique selling point.
至少是个独特的卖♥♥点
Britain's first double-glazing company with a stutter.
英国第一家结巴的双层玻璃店
He's pronouncing it as W Windows.
他把这个读作W窗业
That's just as fucking ludicrous.
这太他妈可笑了
Guess I'll have to put him out of business again.
看来我得再把他轰出这一行了
Was he tapping you up to sell for him?
他是想挖你过去帮他销♥售♥吗
No, no. That's the best part,
不 不 精彩的来了
he's going to be doing his own selling.
他要自己卖♥♥
I cannot think of anyone
我想不出还有谁
less suitable to sell windows to the public than that fucking lunatic.
比那个傻♥逼♥神经病更不适合推销窗户的了
Present company excepted, of course, lavatory.
当然除了我们现在公♥司♥的"厕所"
Oh, you chill up.
你行了
I think the shit salesman jokes might be slightly past their sell-by date.
我觉得那个垃圾推销员笑话已经过期了
I've outsold you for the past three weeks.
过去三周我的业绩都比你高
Oh, really? Come see me when you've posted the numbers I do over a 12-month period,
真的吗 等你卖♥♥到我十二个月的总销量再来找我
then we'll talk, sunshine.
那时候我们再说 宝贝
The past does not equal the future, Fitzpatrick.
过去的不代表未来 Fitzpatrick
For those of you wondering
如果你们好奇
if there are downsides to all this new-found success, may I present exhibit A -
成功有什么弊端 容我展示样品A
a dinner party with the new neighbours.
和新邻居共进晚餐
Emily? James?
Emily James
Robbie and Nat are here. Do you want to go up?
Robbie和Nat来了 你们想上去吗
I'd prefer to stay down here and talk with the adults.
我想待在这里和成年人说话
Sweetpea, if Patricia and Ralph had wanted a disturbing presence at the dinner table,
亲爱的 如果Patricia和Ralph想要有人在餐桌上烦他们
we would've brought a Ouija board.
我们就会带个通灵板来了
When are you going to grow up?!
你什么时候才不这么幼稚啊
And now magazine publishing, how did you,
杂♥志♥出版 你是
how did you find your way into that?
你是怎么入的行
Um, it was a colleague of Vincent's that actually offered me the job.
呃 其实是Vincent的一个同事给了我这份工作
I wouldn't call him a colleague. Ooh, intriguing.
他可不是我同事 哦 有意思
What's the story?
来讲一讲
Well he's actually a very good boss,
他其实是个很好的上司
but him and Vincent don't really see eye to eye.
但他和Vincent互相看不太对眼
That's because I'm three foot taller than him,
那是因为我比他高90公分
and he's a fucking midget.
他就是个狗屁侏儒
You don't approve, Vincent?
你不赞成吗 Vincent
Well, luckily, I don't need Vincent's approval,
好在我不需要征求Vncent的同意
but despite what he's been saying,
而且尽管他嘴上这么说
you've actually been very supportive, haven't you, baby?
你其实还是非常支持我的 对吧亲爱的
Now, listen, apologies for, uh, for talking shop, Vincent,
那个 很抱歉现在提工作 Vincent
but I just wanted to confirm,
但我还是想确认一下
it's Monday that the fitters are coming?
是周一会有人来对吗
Yeah, let me know when it's convenient,
是的 你们什么时候方便就告诉我
and I'll make it happen. Great.
我叫人到时候来 太好了
Oh, what's this? The new conservatory.
噢 这是什么呀 新的玻璃温室
So, Robbie, your mum tells me you're taking the 11 plus.
Robbie 我听你妈妈说你要考小升初考试了
Yeah, even harder when I go to grammar school.
是啊 等去了文法学校只会更痛苦
It's for the posh ponces and gays, ain't that right, Dad?
那儿全是装腔作势的娘娘腔和基佬 是吧 爸
Absolutely. Robbie!
可不是吗 Robbie
That's where Emily and James go. I mean, absolutely not.
Emily和James就在那儿上学 我是说 可不是这样的
Well, don't worry, Rob.
行了 别担心 Bob
If your actual results are as bad as your marks,
如果你考试结果和你平时成绩一样差
you won't have to suffer the indignity of a first-rate education.
你就不用受一流教育的羞辱了
If he's as bright as he seems,
如果他像看上去那么聪明
there are always other avenues to getting selected.
总有其它办法选上的
No point in being a school governor if you don't get a little sway in these matters.
做校董事这点后门都不能走 还有什么意义呢
Patricia, you're a governor?
Patricia 你是董事吗
Right, that's it, you're dead! Oh, I'm scared Rob!
行了 你死定了 噢 Rob我怕死了
Did you have to sell them a bloody conservatory?
你就一定得卖♥♥给他们个破玻璃温房♥吗
Seeing as they already have new windows, yes.
既然他们都有新窗户了 没错
Don't get fucking cute with me.
别他妈嬉皮笑脸的
Sweetheart, they said they needed an extra room,
亲爱的 他们说想再要个房♥间
I offered to help. What was I supposed to do?
我就提出帮忙 不然我能怎么办
Send them to Walshy?
让他们去找Walshy吗
I'm warning you - don't shit on our doorstep,
我警告你 别在家门口惹事
I like it here.
我喜欢这里
I like having neighbours that haven't been to prison,
我喜欢我们的邻居既没进过监狱
or aren't sex offenders.
也没猥亵过别人