白金狂人（2017）

but it has to be something we've never told anyone.
但必须是我们没同任何人讲过的
OK, sounds interesting.
行 听起来挺有趣的
Who's going first? I'll kick off.
谁先来 我先
I once had an affair with a married woman.
我曾经和一个有夫之妇有过一段
My, Lavender, you dark horse.
天哪 Lavender 真是想不到啊
Was it recent?
这事最近发生的吗
I'm not saying anything else about it. Your turn.
这事的其他信息我不会透露的 该你了
OK, my first orgasm
好吧 我第一次高♥潮♥
was at a sleep-over at my best friend's house.
是在我最好朋友家过夜时发生的
It was also on her fingers.
而且是她用手指帮我弄的
Jesus Christ, that's amazing.
老天啊 太令人吃惊了
No, not fair.
不行 不公平
I just delivered a lesbian fingering fantasy.
我刚爆了一个女同的指交小剧场
I want something juicier from you.
你得说点更有料的
You went to a singlesex school,right? So?
你以前上得男校 是吗 所以呢
So, boys are curious at that age.
所以 男孩们在那个年龄都很好奇
Any sexual experimentation? You know,
你们有没有过性探索实验啥的 比如
You scratch my dick, I'll scratch...
你帮我撸 我也帮你
Sorry, the only penis that has been touched
不好意思 被我这双玉手碰过的唯一丁丁
by these fair hands is my own. - OK, whose wife was it?
就是我自己的 好吧 那你的婚外恋对象是谁的老婆
I'm seriously not going there. What a sniff scandal.
我真的不会再讲这事了 我闻到了丑闻的气息哟
Right, I'm going to sing out some names to see how you react.
好吧 那我就说出名字来 看你的反应
Fitzpatrick. Oh, come on.
Fitzpatrick. 噢 得了吧
Walshy. This is daft, no, I'm not doing this.
Walshy 这太蠢了 我不要再继续下去了
Vincent.
Vincent
All right, I once wanked off a sixth former in the art studio at school.
好吧 我曾在学校的美术室给一个六年级学生打飞机
I knew it, so weird.
我就知道 好变♥态♥
Come here, you sexy wanker.
过来 你个性感撸管男
Is that the flyers?
这些是传♥单♥吗
Um, yeah.
是啊
RJ, what are these?
RJ 这是啥
The flyers for Saturday's event.
周六活动的传♥单♥啊
That says "catch it".
这上面写得 "抓它窗业"
Yeah. We're called Cachet. Cachet.
对啊 我们叫"金牌窗业" 金牌
RJ We can't use these, you haven't even put the address of the showroom on there.
RJ 我们不能用这堆东西 你连展厅的地址都没写上去
And it's got the wrong fucking telephone number.
而且连他妈的电♥话♥号♥码都写错了
One, one, one, one, one, one, one. How did this happen?!
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 这怎么回事
Look, nobody warned me not to spill ejaculate on the film.
听着 没人警告过我不要射在胶片上
Because nobody needs to be told that. Fucking hell.
因为是人就知道不行 见了鬼了
Look, don't panic, OK?
不要恐慌 好吗
This is the sort of problem-solving exercise
我在玩陆军棋的时候
I encounter in Stratego all the time.
也老解决这样的麻烦
What, you get jizz all over the playing pieces?
什么 你还会把精♥液♥弄到棋子上吗
Tell me, RJ, tell me how exactly Stratego is going to help us
教教我 RJ 教教我陆军棋要怎么帮我们
get back the £500 you literally spunked away at the printer's.
拿回你在打印店射掉的500镑
Yeah, actually, do you boys mind taking the rap for this?
好像确实不行 事实上 你们介意帮我背这黑锅吗
It's not the sort of thing
要是我爸听说了这事
my dad would take any pleasure in hearing about.
他肯定要大发雷霆
In return for keeping schtum about his 500 quid fuck-up,
作为对我们不向他爸爸提那打水漂的500镑的回报
RJ agreed to go on a sales training course
RJ同意去上销♥售♥培训课
the Anglian Windows training course, to be more precise.
更确切地说 是盎格鲁窗业的培训课
We made him promise to tell his dad that he was head-hunted,
我们让他告诉他爸他被猎头相中了
so that was RJ out of our hair.
因此RJ不会再来搅局了
But we still had the disastrous Page 3 promotion to deal with.
但是我们还得处理灾难性的三版女郎促销活动
Cancel the whole thing. It's a fucking waste of time.
取消整个活动 这他妈就是浪费时间
It's not that simple,
没那么简单
we're cancelling within 48 hours she'd expect paying.
我们是在活动前48小时内取消的还是要付钱
How much are we in for? Another grand.
我们要给多少钱 一千镑
Are you pricks trying to get me killed by Ronnie?
你们这些混♥蛋♥是想让我被Ronnie杀掉吗
Look, it'll be fine. I'll have a word with Donna,
没事的 我来和Donna谈一谈
tell her how things work in the real world.
告诉她真实世界的法则
I mean, this is Brendan's daughter we're talking about here.
我是说 她只是Brendan的女儿
Not Richard fucking Branson.
又不是他妈的理查德·布兰森的
So, Donna. I can understand that feelings will be hurt,
Donna 我明白这可能会伤了你的心
but this is a business and I'm afraid the situation is
但这是谈生意 而且恐怕情况是
that you're not going to get paid.
我们没法给你报酬了
It's a contract like any other, Brian.
这和别的合同一样 Brian
On top of that,
最重要的是
we have a first-rate legal team of a major national newspaper behind us,
我们背后有全国大报的一流的法律团队
which, I would imagine, would take you into territory you can't afford.
这个我觉得 可能会把你们拖进承受不起的领域
So, yeah, I'll be taking that payment in full, please.
所以说 我要拿到全薪 谢谢
OK, sure.
好的 没问题
Morning, Brian.
早上好 Brian
Jesus!
妈呀
RJ, what are you doing here?
RJ 你怎么在这儿
I thought you were sacked.
我以为你被炒了
I mean, I thought you were training.
我是说 我以为你去培训了
It look the course leader less than six minutes
导师花了不到六分钟
to ascertain I was vastly overqualified.
确认我已经完全够格了
I agreed and he gave me the week off.
我也觉得是 然后他放了我一周的假
It's a good call from him, to be fair.
说实话 他的决定是对的
I felt partially responsible for the printer mix-up the other day, so
那天的印刷事故 我觉得我有部分责任 所以
I dived into Dad's Rolodex, made a few calls and,
我翻了我爸的名片盒 打了几个电♥话♥
well, what would you say
如果我说
if I could get a world champion in their field
我能请到某个领域的世界冠军
down to the showroom this afternoon
今天下午来我们展厅
to put in a personal appearance?
亮个相 你觉得怎么样
I'd say if it's a world champion in Stratego,
我觉得如果你说的是西洋陆军棋的世界冠军
you can fuck off now.
你现在就可以滚了
You will have noticed I'm still here, Brian.
可以看到我还在这儿 Brian
And joining me this afternoon will be none other than
今天下午来的不是别人
Steve fucking Davis.
正是他妈的Steve Davis
It comes down to this final pink.
比赛来到最后一个粉球
That's it, the World Snooker champion.
斯♥诺♥克世界冠军诞生了
For once, RJ had managed to pull off something other than himself.
这一次 RJ除了脱裤子 终于做成了一件事
Steve Davis was managed by an old drinking pal of Ronnie Senior's
Steve Davis的经纪人是老Ronnie的老酒友
a certain Mr Barry Hearn.
一个叫Barry Hearn的人
When RJ called, Barry just happened to be sitting down with Steve.
RJ打电♥话♥过去的时候 Barry正巧和Steve在一起
It turned out Steve was free that afternoon
Steve那天下午正好没事
and RJ had just fluked the 147 of lucky breaks.
RJ侥幸打出了单杆最高分147分
Ladies and gentlemen, Steve Davis.
女士们先生们 让我们欢迎Steve Davis
Can I have your autograph, please, Steve?
麻烦你能帮我签个名吗 Steve
There you are.
好了
So what's it like playing at the Crucible?
在克鲁斯堡剧院打球是什么感觉
Yeah, it's a good place to play snooker.
还不错 那里是打斯♥诺♥克的好地方
What's going through your head in a high-pressure shot?
在高压情况下 你击球前一般会想什么
Yeah, you know, I'm just trying my best to not miss.
我想着尽量不要打偏
Do you know any good trick shots?
你会花式台球吗
Mate, I'm the king of trick shots.
兄弟 我是花式台球之王
But there's no table, so...
但是这里没有台球桌 所以
Right.
好吧
To be honest, I was surprised
说实话 我很惊讶
because I normally do bookings at snooker clubs.
因为我一般都在斯♥诺♥克俱乐部演出
There's not really anything I can do here.
今天在这里我还真没啥可表演的
Thanks anyway, Steve.
还是谢谢你 Steve
Where is everyone?
大家都去哪儿了
I know we didn't have time to advertise,
我知道我们来不及做宣传
but Steve Davis is quite impressive, right?
但Steve Davis够大牌了吧
Until you actually meet the boring fucker.
见到本人就会觉得无聊了
Was it two sugars, Martin?
是要加两颗糖吗 Martin
Oh, yeah, thanks, Steve.
哦 没错 谢谢 Steve
Listen, I was thinking, seeing as it's quietened down,
我在想 既然现在没什么人了
would it be OK if I shot off a bit early?
我可不可以早点走
No, it fucking wouldn't, Steve.
当然不行了 Steve
Is there sugar in that?
你放糖了吗
Oh, Brian, I'm sorry, I'll get you another one.
哦 Brian 对不起 我再给你泡一杯
Oh, the love of my life.
哦 我的爱人
Couldn't resist the allure of a snooker superstar.
无法抵挡斯♥诺♥克明星的魅力
Look, I warn you, he takes a bit of warming up.
提前说一下 他要热身一下
I think that Page 3 girl you had booked
我觉得你们之前预约的三版女郎