白金狂人（2017）

Don't fuck this up for us.
别给我们把这些搞砸了
Ah, Brendan, just the man I wanted to see.
啊 Brendan 正找你呢
I need you to fast-track a conservatory for my new neighbours.
我需要你尽快去帮我的新邻居建个玻璃温房♥
I told them you'd get started next week.
我跟他们说你下周开始
Well, unless they want a conservatory built on the Isle of Wight,
除非他们想把玻璃暖房♥建在怀特岛
they'll have to fucking wait. I'm off on holiday Monday.
不然他们就得等着了 我从下周一起休假
I don't remember seeing a holiday form for Brendan,
我可不记得见过Brendan的休假申请表
do you, Carol?
你记得吗 Carol
Didn't know we had holiday forms.
没听说我们有休假申请表
You're not fucking going.
你♥他♥妈♥哪儿也别去
Hang on! Until I start receiving a company pension
等等 除非什么时候公♥司♥给我交养老金了
or getting paid in anything other than cash by this firm,
或者用现金给我开工资
I'll do as I fucking well please!
不然我他妈爱干嘛干嘛
OK, let me put this another way.
好吧 我换种说法
You either get my neighbours' conservatory built next week,
你要么下周把我邻居的玻璃温房♥建好
or you can holiday on the Isle of Sacked, forever.
或者你就在炒鱿鱼岛一直待着
OK, fine. Good.
好啊 行的 那就好
Carol's got the details, I'll tell them to expect you Monday.
详细信息在Carol那儿 我告诉他们你周一去
No, I meant, "OK, fine, sack me."
不 我意思是 "好啊 行 炒了我吧"
Walshy's looking for fitters, he called me last week.
Walshy也在招工人 他上周给我打电♥话♥了
You can fit the fucking glorified porch yourself!
你♥他♥妈♥自己去建你那了不起的走廊吧
I'll have driven him out of business by the time you get back from
不等你从那个垃圾拖车岛度假回来
that stinking fucking caravan holiday!
我就会把他搞破产的
Well, I suppose I won't be bringing you back any coloured sand now, then, will I?
这么看来 我也不用给你带彩沙回来了 对吧
The great British Jobcentre.
大不列颠就业中心
Chances are, if you're looking for a vocation in life,
如果你想找个靠谱的工作 十有八♥九♥
it's not going to be advertised on
它是不会发布在
a four-inch card in one of these graveyards for the unemployable.
这些失业者坟墓里的小纸片上的
Excuse me, sir.
先生 打扰一下
Are you available to work today?
你今天可以上岗吗
Depends. Depends on what?
看情况 什么情况
Depends on what it is.
看要我♥干♥什么
I'm not going to drive a van off the Dartford Bridge
我才不会把车开下达特福德大桥
just because someone's paying me, am I?
就为了拿点钱 对吧
Well, that's a very wise mantra to live your life by.
这还真是个不错的人生信条
I can tell I'm dealing with a high-calibre individual.
就知道你是个高素质人才
So, what is it? I represent Cachet Windows And Doors.
所以是什么活儿 我是金牌窗业的
we're currently running an induction course
我们最近在进行入门课程培训
for trainee fenestration engineers. What's fenestration?
培养窗棂工程师的后备人才 窗棂是什么
The science of windows. Have you got any carpentry skills?
窗户的艺术科学 你会木工吗
No.
不会
Can you lay bricks? No.
你会铺砖吗 不会
Do you have any experience at all in the building trade?
你在建筑方面有任何经验吗
I can dig holes. That will do.
我会挖坑 那就行了
Vincent Swan, pleased to meet you. Come with me.
Vincent Swan 很高兴见到你 跟我来
Hello, Patricia, love. This is Barry, he's our top fitter.
Patricia你好啊 这是Barry 我们最好的工人
I had to pull him from another job, but neighbours do come first.
我不得不把他从另一个活儿那儿拉过来的 但邻居更重要嘛
Oh, well, why don't you come in and get yourself settled, Barry?
你要不先进来坐坐安顿一下 Barry
I'll put the kettle on.
我去烧水
My name is not Barry, it's Derek. Yeah, it's a nickname.
我不叫Barry 我叫Derek 昵称嘛
"Barry who ain't Barry" his old apprentice gave him it,
"不是Barry的Barry" 他以前徒弟给起的外号♥
and it sort of stuck, didn't it, Bazzer?
就这么一直叫下来了 是吧 Bazzer
Oh, well, sugar, Barry?
噢行吧 要糖吗 Barry
Four and a half, please. Right.
麻烦加四勺半 好吧
I don't know how to build a fucking conservatory!
我他妈不会建玻璃温房♥
Well, there's no better place to learn than on the job.
边干边学是最好不过的了
It's easy. You lay the foundation, knock through to the lounge,
很简单 你打好地基 打通到客厅
then piece it all together. There's even an instruction manual.
最后把它们拼在一起就行了 这儿都还有指导手册呢
It's like a giant Lego set.
就像一个巨型乐高
My doctor told me to avoid stressful situations.
我的医生让我避开高压力的环境
Fuck me, Barry, would an extra 20 quid help relieve some of that stress for you?
操了 Barry 再加20镑可以缓解你的焦虑吗
Well, I'll pop back in an hour and see how you're getting on.
我一小时后回来 看看你的进度
Everything you need is in the van.
你要什么面包车里都有
Call the showroom if you need me.
找我的话就打店里电♥话♥
The first rule of sales warfare is "Know your enemy",
销♥售♥战的第一条规则就是"知己知彼"
so I sent the boys on a little reconnaissance mission.
所以我让伙计们去做了些小小的侦察任务
No, it's not bollocks, it's science. The sealed unit reduces...
不 这不是瞎说 是科学 密封配件可以降低
There's no need for that!
完全没必要这样
You're missing out, mate!
你可亏大了 朋友
Oh, for f...
噢 我♥操♥
Why didn't you tell me you were moving 45 fucking minutes ago?!
你四十五分钟前怎么不他妈跟我说你要搬家了
Next time you want to waste someone's time, call the Samaritans!
下次你再想浪费别人时间 打电♥话♥给撒玛利亚去
This is going to be easier than we all thought. Yeah, I know.
这比我们想的还容易 是啊
Good afternoon, W Windows.
下午好 这里是W窗业
Oh, hello, is that W-windows?
噢 你好 请问是窗-窗业吗
Yes, sir, but it's pronounced W Windows.
没错先生 但读作W窗业
Oh, right, I was after W-windows, never mind.
这样啊 我是找窗窗业的 打扰了
No, sir, it is W-windows, but it's pronounced...
不 先生 这里是窗-窗业 但其实读作
How can I help you today, sir?
你有什么事情 先生
Well, I was just wondering,, do you only do w-windows,
呃 我就是想知道 你们是只做窗窗户呢
or do you do d-doors as well, you d-daft w-wanker?
还是也做门门呢 你这个愚愚蠢的混混♥蛋♥
What?! What?!
什么 你说什么
Oh, shit, he's coming out!
靠 他出来了
Come on, go!
走了
Sam, can I have a quick word? Yeah, of course.
Sam 可以说句话吗 当然了
It's about the new conservatory.
是我们的新玻璃暖房♥
I have left several messages at the showroom,
我在展厅留了消息
but no-one's called me back yet.
但还没人回电♥话♥
We're having a few teething problems.
我们有一点"长牙期问题"
Teething problems?
长牙期问题
Hmm. A spot of leakage, some of the windows open inwards.
嗯 有点漏水 还有几扇窗户朝内开了
I mean, nothing that can't be tweaked, I'm sure.
但肯定稍微修一修就好了 对吧
Right.
是
Vincent's been away for a few days on a training course,
Vincent这几天出去培训了
but he'll be mortified when I tell him.
但我告诉他的时候他肯定会羞愧难当
In fact, why don't you come to us for dinner tomorrow
要不你们明天晚上过来吃饭吧
to make up for the inconvenience?
算给你们带来不便的一点歉意
And I promise I'll make sure Vincent gets those bloody tweaks sorted before then.
而且我保证在那之前就让Vincent把那些鬼问题修好
Marvellous. Thank you, neighbour.
好极了 谢谢你邻居
Vincent, you wanker.
Vincent你个混♥蛋♥
As predicted, not only is there a steaming great turd on our doorstep,
不出所料 现在不仅你在又他妈惹了一泡热腾腾的屎
but as fucking always,
而且和以前他妈的一样
I'm the one left to clean it up. Honey, I'll take care of it.
得我来收拾这个烂摊子 宝贝 我会解决好的
The customer always thinks they're right,
顾客总觉得自己是对的
it's my job to convince them otherwise.
我的工作是说服他们并不然
It's hardly a matter of opinion is it, Vincent?
这不是观点的问题吧 Vincent
They've either got a bloody leaking conservatory,
他们要么得到一个狗屁漏水的玻璃温室
or they haven't.
要么不会
Exactly.
是的
Look, don't worry
别担心
I'll tell Pat all our conservatories leak at first
我会告诉Pat我们的玻璃温室一开始都会漏水
they just need a bit of time to settle in.
过一段时间自己就好了
I mean, you couldn't have said anything more worrying.
没什么比你刚刚说的话更让人担心了
Barry. Barry, mate!
Barry Barry 兄弟
It's Derek.
我叫Derek
Derek, the newly qualified fitter, don't you mean?
Derek 你是说我们刚获得资质的装配工吗
Congratulations, you've made the grade.
恭喜你通过了考核
Now, come on, I need you to take a look at that test job you did for me.
现在快来 我需要你来看一下你在试用期做的工作
I can't, I've got to sign on
不行 我在登记领失业救济金
No, because that would be social security fraud
不 鉴于你现在有了工作
now that you've got a job, wouldn't it, Bazzer? Chop chop.
这就属于社保诈骗了 是不是 Bazzer 快点快点
Yeah, you need to switch the opening window units around,
好的 你需要把管开窗户的配件转个方向
straighten up the hinges on the door, and sort out the leak.
把门的铰链弄直 然后解决一下漏水的问题
And how do I do that?
所以这些应该怎么弄
If I knew the answer to that particular question,
如果我知道这个问题的答案
I wouldn't be paying fitters 100 quid a day, would I, Barry?
我就不会付给装配工一天100镑的工资了不是吗 Barry
Derek. And you pay me 50 quid a day.
是Derek 而且你付我50镑一天
At this juncture in your career, yes
在这个职业生涯的过度阶段 是这样的
because you're an apprentice.
因为你现在还是学徒
You do stellar job here and I'll make you a fully-fledged fitter.
出色地完成这里的工作 你就是正式的装配工了