白金狂人（2017）

All right, Vincent?
还好吗 Vincent
Never fucking better, Pete.
他妈的好得不得了 Pete
He knows.
他知道了
Excluding the literal sense,
撇开字面意思不说(手♥淫♥)
there are three types of wanker in this world.
这世上有三种混♥蛋♥
There's the ones you pity, the sad, boring type of wanker
一种是可怜 可悲又无聊的类型
who life always seems to enjoy torturing.
好像老天特喜欢折磨他们
Not me.
我可不是这种
See you later, Pete!
拜拜 Pete
Then there's the irritating types of wanker,
然后还有一种是让人讨厌的混♥蛋♥
the ones whose only job in life
这种人一生都致力于
is to stop the rest of us enjoying our free school years and ten.
阻碍别人享受美好的校园生活及以后的日子
Again, not me.
我也不是这种
Excuse me, you can't park there, mate.
不好意思 你不能停在这 伙计
Finally, you have the show-offs.
最后一种 就是爱炫耀的
The posers.
装腔作势的
The "I'm better than you,
那种"我比你优秀
fuck everything and everyone twice," Type of wankers.
其他人都滚远吧"的那种混♥蛋♥
I prefer the term "Ambitious",
我喜欢用"野心勃勃"来形容
but whatever the label, we're the ones you'd better keep your eyes on.
但随你怎么叫 我们是那种你要小心的人
Good morning, arseholes!
早上好 混♥蛋♥们
Full disclosure.
直接告诉你吧
You're looking at a room of double-glazing salesmen.
你现在看到的这房♥间里的都是双层玻璃推销员
As this is 1983, we're not quite the social pariahs
现在是1983年 我们还不算是那种社会败类
you lot probably know and loathe, but give us time.
就是你们可能熟知且憎恶的那类人 但给我们点时间
This is the Monday morning sales meeting,
这是周一早上的销♥售♥例会
where the team hand in their weekly orders.
在会上团队要上交他们一周的订单
In theory, a small matter of financial housekeeping.
理论上说 就是对财务进行简单梳理
In reality,
实际上
a dick-swinging contest extraordinaire.
就是一个比谁更牛逼的精彩比赛
Right, Fitzpatrick, what you got for me?
好了 Fitzpatrick 你有什么可以给我说的
Oh, fuck off, I went first last week.
滚你丫的 上周我就是第一个说的
Come on, it's Lavatory's turn.
拜托 这次轮到"厕所"了
Don't call me that.
别这么叫我
All right, calm down, Lavatory, it's only a nickname.
好吧 别生气 "厕所" 这只是个昵称
No, a nickname is an affectionate term between mates.
才不是 昵称是好朋友之间的爱称
I think you're a massive prick,
我觉得你是个大混♥蛋♥(大屌♥)
ergo not a nickname.
这可不是昵称
Yeah, well, I'll show you a massive prick.
是吗 那我就让你见识见识什么是大屌♥
This reprobate is Brian Fitzpatrick.
这王八蛋叫Brian Fitzpatrick
In life, deeply unlikeable, smarmy and charmless.
生活上是个极度惹人厌又没魅力的马屁精
But give him something to sell,
但如果你让他卖♥♥点什么东西
and somehow, he becomes transformed.
不知怎地 他就像变了一个人一样
Strong?
结实吧
President Reagan has a fallout shelter
里根总统有一个辐射避难所
made entirely of our windows.
里面所有的窗户都是我们家的
Now, the science tells us these uPVC window frames will be around
如今 科学证明这些uPVC窗框就算在人类灭绝很久后
long after the human race is extinct.
依然能完好无损
Also, the proud owner of a massive penis
同时他也为长着大屌♥而自豪
which he loves to unfurl at any given opportunity.
一有机会就喜欢脱给人看
And that's fine, is it?
也就那样 对吧
And this lovely man is Martin Lavender.
这位可爱的男人是Martin Lavender
Honest, decent and well educated.
诚实 举止得体 受过良好的教育
All qualities which, in our line of work,
这些所有的品质 在我们这行看来
are about as much use as an aerated condom.
就跟胀气了的避孕套一样 全无卵用
Hello, I'm Martin Lavender from Cachet Windows.
您好 我是金牌窗业的Martin Lavender
Just eating dinner.
我们正在吃晚餐
No, you have your dinner. I'll call back another day.
那我不打扰您了 我改天再过来
Thanks, love.
谢谢 亲爱的
Formerly a musician,
从前是一个音乐家
he quit his struggling band to join my sales team.
他退出了艰难谋生的乐队 加入了我的销♥售♥团队
**Let me guess what's on your mind*
*让我猜猜你脑袋里在想什么
**That's all right cos it's on mine...*
*无所谓肯定想的全是我
Unfortunately, three months later,
不幸的是 三个月后
his now ex-band landed the biggest number one single of the year
他的前乐队就获得了年度冠军单曲
with Wherever I Lay My Hat.
<不管我将帽子放哪>
**Wherever I lay my hat*
*不管我将帽子放在哪里
**That's my home...*
*那都是我的家
Naturally, we rallied around to help him through this difficult period.
自然 我们也团结起来帮他渡过这个难关
Hey!
嘿
Unlucky, mate, could've been you!
真倒霉 伙计 本来该是你上封面的
Right, come on, look, I want to see some orders.
好了 让我看看你们的订单
Don't be shy, Lavender.
别害羞 Lavender
Yeah, his mother wasn't.
他妈妈可一点都不害羞
Four. Bollocks!
四 垃圾
4,000. That's got to be a personal best for you
四千 这是你个人最高记录了吧
Could've been seven
本来可以达到七千的
if this snake hadn't undercut me on Warren Close.
要不是这个贱♥人♥以低价抢了我的Warren Close那单
You're having a laugh.
你在说笑吧
There's nothing wrong with my prices, it's just you.
我的价格没有任何问题 有问题的是你
You couldn't sell ice to a bloody Eskimo.
你♥他♥妈♥连把冰块卖♥♥给爱斯基摩人都做不到
But Eskimos don't need ice. Why would I sell it to them?
但是爱斯基摩人不需要冰块啊 我为什么要卖♥♥给他们
Well, you know, cos of the saying,
不是有句俗语嘛
"He could sell ice to the Eskimos."
"他都能把冰块卖♥♥给爱斯基摩人"
You're the fucking opposite, ain't ya?
你♥他♥妈♥就恰恰相反 不是吗
Yeah, that's not how opposites work.
是个鬼 "相反"可不是这么回事
I get a lot of this.
他们老这么斗嘴
All right, then, you couldn't sell food to a starving Ethiopian
好吧 这么说吧 你都没法把食物卖♥♥给埃塞俄比亚的饿鬼
with flies round his eyes and pot belly... shit up his legs.
哪怕他的眼周和肚子上都是苍蝇 腿上还有屎
I'd just give him some food.
我会直接给他点吃的
I'm not a monster.
我又不是禽兽
Which is why I will always outsell you in any sales environment.
这就是为什么不管卖♥♥什么 我的业绩都比你好
So you reckon you could sell ice to the Eskimos?
所以你觉得你能卖♥♥冰块给爱斯基摩人
Not only sell it to them.
不只是卖♥♥给他们
By the time I'd left their little igloo,
等我离开他们的冰屋的时候
they'd be asking me to be godfather to their adorable slanty-eyed kids.
他们还会求我做他们可爱的斜眼宝宝的教父
Tell me, is it only lazy cultural stereotypes you sell to,
告诉我 你是卖♥♥东西给你自己这刻板印象
or real people, too?
还是真实的人啊
Well, unlike Professor No Nuts over there,
我和那边的那位"没种"教授可不一样
I could sell anything to anyone.
我能把任何东西卖♥♥给任何人
So, taking the ice and Eskimos analogy
所以 就拿冰块和爱斯基摩人来作类比
you reckon you could sell new windows
你认为你能把新窗户卖♥♥给
to someone you've recently sold new windows to?
最近才买♥♥了你窗户的人吗
Yes.
可以
I've got a ton says you can't.
我赌一百英镑你做不到
You had a ton.
赌你一百英镑
You might as well hand over those notes now, Lavatory.
要不你现在就把钱给我得了 "厕所"
Right, if you bucks are done rutting,
好了 如果你俩发够情了
I want to see some orders. Brian?
我想看看订单 Brian 你的呢
13 five.
一万三千五
Impressive.
厉害
Who'd have thought a weaselly fucker with terrible BO like you
谁能想到你这么个体臭熏人老奸巨猾的混♥蛋♥
could charm the life savings out of anyone?
竟也能施展魅力 让任何人掏出毕生积蓄
Well, here's mine.
这个是我的
Just the 17K.
区区一万七
Which makes me employee of the fucking century.
这样一来 我就是本世纪最牛逼的员工了
But don't feel too bad about it, boys,
不过别太难过了 孩子们
it's still a record week.
本周还有机会
And to celebrate, I've lined up a special treat
为了庆祝 周六晚上我给大家
for us all on Saturday night.
准备了特别的款待
Now, let's get out there.
现在 快出去跑客户吧
These windows aren't going to sell them-fucking-selves.
这些破窗户可不会自我推销
Morning, Vincent. Morning, Carol.
早上好 Vincent 早上好 Carol
Can you dig out the address for the Solomon house?
你能挖出Solomon家的地址吗
I've got time to pop by later...
我等下有时间去拜访
Guess who...?
猜猜我是谁
The last time I saw these beautiful fingers,
我上一次见到这些美丽的手指
they were wrapped around my...
它们可正握着我的
..Has got the kids with them. ..My neck.
孩子们一起来的 我的脖子
They were wrapped around my neck.
它们握着我的脖子