旺达幻视（2021）

才艺秀
为了孩子们
幸好我不是跟在这男人后面表演
Glad I don't have to follow this guy.
什么
Huh? What?
但你会表现出色的
Oh, but you're gonna be great.
现在几点了
What time is it now?
从你上次问完 过了两分钟
Mmm, two minutes after the last time you asked.
我不知道他在哪里
I don't know where he could be.
那是他吗
Oh, is that him?
他看起来有点步履蹒跚[故障]
Well, it looks like he's got a little hitch in his giddy-up.
旺达 我的小卷心菜 你看起来真美
Wanda, my little cabbage, you look smashing!
小幻
Vis.
你跑哪去了
Where have you been?
我和兄弟们玩了个
Uh, well, me and the boys were playing
很刺♥激♥的穿鞋马游戏
a rather thrilling game of horses with shoes.
不 不对
No, that's not it.
是鞋马 也不对
Shoe horses! No.
是马的鞋
Ah! Horse's shoes.
听着 多蒂身上发生了奇怪的事
Listen, something strange happened with Dottie.
在那之前也发生了奇怪的事
Well, something strange happened before that, too.
我很难解释
It's hard to explain.
我刚才在玩他的鞋子
I was just playing with his shoes.
到底怎么回事[谁上场]
What is going on?
该你了
You are!
非常感谢大家前来支持
I want to thank you all for coming out
西景小学"为了孩子们"才艺秀
to support Westview Elementary, "For the children."
"为了孩子们"
"For the children."
最后一个节目
And for our final act...
请欢迎 旺达和幻视
I give you, Wanda and Vision.
才艺秀 为了孩子们
喂 该你上了 牛仔
Hey! Hey! You're up, Cowboy!
什么
What?
对 该我上了
Oh! Yeah! I've to go!
下午好 西景的朋友们
Hello, Westview! Good afternoon.
非常高兴来到
It's so lovely to be...
对不起 不小心的
I'm so sorry. Excuse me.
我是美艳大♥师♥
I am Glamour
这是我可爱的助手 幻术小姐
and this is my delightful assistant, Illusion.
我才是美艳小姐 他是幻术大♥师♥
I am Glamour and he's Illusion.
她说得对
Yeah, what she said.
今天我们会骗你们
Today, we will lie to you
但你们却会相信我们的小把戏
and yet you will believe our little deceptions
因为人类对宇宙的内部运作
because human beings are easily fooled
理解有限
due to their limited
所以很容易被骗
understanding of the inner workings of the universe.
瞧好了
Flourish!
别大声说出来了 赶紧表演 亲爱的
You just do it, you don't say it out loud, honey.
现在我和我太太就等着看
And now my wife and I will delight
你们的蠢脸上的吃惊表情了
in your dumbstruck little faces.
瞧好了
Flourish!
看到了吗 他用了绳子
Ha! See there? He's using a rope.
旺达 怎么回事 不不不 旺达 拜托
Wanda, what's... Oh, no! Oh! No! Wanda, please!
亲爱的 放我下来
Darling, let me down!
我要吐了
I'm feeling pukey!
接下来是什么来着
Uh, what's next?
想起来了 是非常精彩的一个节目
Oh! Yeah, this is... This is gonna be great!
展现我的超凡实力
A staggering feat of strength.
幻术大♥师♥
Illusion...
充满神秘的幻术大♥师♥ 让我试试
Illusion, Master of Enigma, allow me.
什么
What?
我们变戏法的秘密可不该让观众看见啊
You weren't supposed to see how we did that trick.
那是我祖母的钢琴
That was my grandmother's piano.
谢布特 这是我的老朋友 谢布特
Oh, Sherbert! Yeah, this is my old mate, Sherbert.
快起来 谢布特 跟大家问个好
Stand up, Sherbert. Say hello to the crowd.
我是赫布特 赫
It's Herbert, Herb.
安静点 谢布 选一张牌 随便选
Pipe down, Sherbie, and pick a card. Any card.
现在放回牌堆里
Yeah, put it back in the deck.
我没看哦 好了 看我的
I'm not looking. All right. Watch this.
这是你的牌吗
Is this your card?
不是
Uh, no.
我可不同意
I beg to differ.
真的吗 这是你的牌吗
Really? Is this your card?
幻视
Vision...
这是你的牌吗 这是你的牌吗
Is this your card? Is this your card?
这是你的牌吗 这是你的牌吗
Is this your card? Is this your card?
这是你的牌吗
Is this your card?
这是你的牌吗 这是你的牌吗
Argh! Is this your card? Is this your card?
-不是 -这是你的牌吗
- No. No. No. No. - Is this your card?
这是你的牌吗 这是你的牌吗
Is this your card? Is this your card?
这是你的牌吗
Is this your card?
这张是
Oh, it is!
是什么
It is what?
是我的牌
It's my card.
不好意思 赫布 还给你
Well, pardon me, Herb. Have it back.
不 是你的魔术成功了
Oh, no, you did the trick right.
我的魔术当然成功了 我可是幻术大♥师♥
Well, of course I did the trick right! I'm Illusion!
瞧好了
Flourish!
现在 我的下一个魔术
And now, for my next trick...
我的老天
Oh, goodness me.
谁偷走了我的帽子
Who stole my hat?
快 抓住那只兔子
Oh! Oh, stop that rabbit!
我得从兔子里变出一顶帽子
I gotta need to pull a hat out of it.
挠挠先生有当大明星的潜质 是不是
Senor Scratchy's got real star quality, don't you think?
我们别折腾可怜的小兔子了 好吗
Maybe we leave the poor bunny out this one, shall we?
那好吧 那我就把这顶帽子
Well then, I will just have to pull this hat...
从我身体里变出来
...out of myself.
幻视 别
Vision, no.
我要开始了
I'm doin' it.
大家肯定不知道我们怎么变的
If only you all knew our secret.
镜子能起到这个作用吗
Is that how mirrors work?
闭嘴 贝芙
Shut up, Bev.
才艺秀 为了孩子们
女士们先生们 现在是我们的压轴大戏
And now, ladies and gentlemen, for our grand finale.
我为大家带来 神柜秘
I bring you, The Magnet of Crysteries!
是神秘柜
The Cabinet of Mysteries!
对 对 就是她说的这个
Yeah, yeah. What she said.
才艺秀 为了孩子们
现在 我要让我的妻子
I will now make my wife...
消失不见
...disappear.
你确定你不需要观众志愿者吗
Are you sure you don't want
比如我丈夫拉夫
an audience volunteer named "My husband Ralph?"
不要 阿布拉卡达布拉
No. Abracadabra!
-亲爱的 -怎么了
- Uh, sweetheart? - Yeah?
我在这呢
Hi.
柜子里有什么
What's in the box?
柜子里有什么 柜子里有什么
What's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the box?
对啊 柜子里有什么
Yeah, what's in the box?
柜子里有什么 柜子里有什么
What's in the box? What's in the box?
柜子里有什么 柜子里有什么
What's in the box? What's in the box?
太棒了
Oh, yes!
瞧好了
Flourish.
我们走吧
Let's get outta here.
对不起 对不起 我很抱歉
Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
-我太蠢了 -小幻 没关系
- I'm so stupid. - Vis? Vis, it's all right.
没事 没关系
It's all right. It's all right. It's all right.
但是你到底怎么了
But what is going on with you?
我不知道 我今天一直感觉很奇怪
I have no idea. I've been feeling weirdy all day.
好 好的 没事
Okay. Okay. Okay.
你看看啊
Would you look at that?
把我的零件都黏住了 对吧
That really gummed up my works, didn't it?
没有这个我就没那么好玩了吧
I'm not as funny without it, am I?
你恢复正常了 这是我唯一在意的事
Well, you're back to yourself and that's all I care about.
现在 让我们赶在多蒂和规划委员会