旺达幻视（2021）

旺达 那也很好
Oh, Wanda, that's good.
大家快一点
Everybody, hurry up please.
你好 多蒂 你的玫瑰真是太棒了
Hiya, Dottie! Your roses are divine.
谢谢你
Well, thank you.
扶轮社在我们说话这会儿正在完成舞台布置
The Rotary Club is finishing the stage set-up as we speak.
他们给凉亭重新刷了一层漆
They've given the gazebo a fresh coat of paint
马上就要去镇广场上
and will be installing the final decorations
布置最后的装饰
all through the town square.
如果你发现里面有古董脚灯
And if you recognize the antique footlights,
那是因为这是我店里出的
it's because they're from my store.
椅子呢
And the chairs?
很抱歉 多蒂 我没有问椅子[主持]的事
I'm sorry, Dottie. I didn't ask about the chairs.
那你以后也不要问我
So you better not ask me
能不能主持任何一个委员会了呢
if you can chair any committees in the future.
恶魔往往藏在细节中 贝芙
The devil's in the details, Bev.
不仅仅只在细节中
That's not the only place he is.
大家都知道才艺秀
As you all know, the talent show
是西景小学唯一的募捐会
is the sole fundraiser for Westview Elementary.
这也许能让你好过点
This might help.
在我成立这个小团体的八年来
In the eight years since I founded our little club,
这个盛会举办得越来越大 越来越好
this event has gotten bigger and better every season.
这些裤子可真漂亮
Say, those pants are peachy keen.
你真的这么觉得吗
Do you really think so?
其他女士都穿了裙子 我还担心呢
The other ladies are in skirts. I was worried.
距离表演开始只有几个小时了
We only have a few hours until show time,
所以少点闲聊 多点关注
so a little less cross chatter and a little more focus.
好吧
Okay.
那些小男孩和小女孩都指望着我们呢
Those little boys and girls are counting on us.
一切都是为了孩子们
All of this is for the children.
为了孩子们
"For the children."
为了孩子们
"For the children."
所以 我希望大家都要热烈鼓掌...
So, I want you all to give yourselves a big hand...
当然了 是在恰当的时机
...at the appropriate time, of course.
但首先 我们来回顾一下活动礼仪
But first let's review event etiquette.
着装要求是高档花♥园♥派对...
Dress code is upscale garden party...
我不鼓掌的唯一原因是我吓得不敢动了
The only reason I didn't clap is because I'm afraid to move.
是啊
Yeah.
我其实不知道自己来这儿干什么
I actually don't know what I'm doing here.
我也有这种感觉了 我叫旺达
I'm starting to feel that way myself. I'm Wanda.
我是杰拉丁
I'm, uh... Geraldine.
我是很生气
And I'm irritated.
今晚的票卖♥♥得一张都不剩了
Tickets for tonight are completely sold out.
大家可以鼓掌了
Now, you can clap.
停
And stop.
讲真 清醒的人怎么忍♥得了她这一套
Really, how is anybody doing this sober?
公共图书馆
-绿的吧 -嗯
- Let's say green. - Yeah.
另一边可能是尘土
I mean, the other side could be dirt.
打扰了 请问这是社区联防会吗
Pardon me. Is this the neighborhood watch meeting?
你好 幻视
Oh, hiya, Vision.
没想到你会来参加
Didn't expect to see you here.
其实我们在聊"仅限内部成员"那种话题
This is sort of a "members only" type deal.
是啊 对
Certainly. Right. Well...
我就安安静静默不作声地待着
I'll just stay here and be as quiet as a church mouse
等你们说到新的话题
till you open up the floor for new business.
其实我们正好要说到新话题
Well, in truth, we were just getting to new business.
那太好了
Oh, splendid!
能告诉我你们巡逻多久换一次岗吗
Could you tell me how often you rotate security patrols?
你们直接跟本地的执法部门对接吗
Do you interface directly with local law enforcement?
你们对于入室盗窃
What are your protocols regarding threats
涂鸦和危险驾驶等威胁的规程是什么
such as burglary, graffiti, and reckless driving?
-不 幻视 -我知道这些事情十分重要
- No, Vision. - I know these are indeed grave matters.
"新话题"其实是再吃一轮酥皮点心的意思
"New business" actually means another round of Danish.
你要树莓馅的还是奶酪馅的
Raspberry or cheese-filled?
谢谢 不必了 我不吃食物
Oh, neither for me, thank you. I don't eat food.
我是说
What I mean to say is that
我两顿饭之间不吃食物 三餐还是吃的
I don't eat food in between meals but at mealtimes.
按时吃饭有如机器
I'm a regular eating machine.
朋友们 幻视说得有道理
Hey, fellas. Vision here has got a point.
听我说 我有绝密情报要告诉你们
Now, listen up. I got some top secret intelligence for you.
太好了
Oh, excellent.
你们知道约翰逊一直在吹嘘
Now, you know how Johnson's been braggin' about
他亲手为孩子们建的树屋吗
that treehouse he built for his kids?
知道
Yeah.
其实是预置的
It's a prefab job.
那个傻瓜连挥锤子都不会
That blockhead can't even swing a hammer.
我给你们讲个更好的
I can do you one better.
你们知道亚瑟常常擦拭的那些保龄球奖杯吗
You know those bowling trophies Arthur's always polishing?
那些都是他从哈肯萨克的庭院跳蚤市场买♥♥的
He bought 'em all at a yard sale in Hackensack.
我就知道 我从来没在保龄球场见过他
I knew it. I've never once seen him down at the lanes.
我也有绝密八卦要分享
I too have some top secret gossip to share.
诺曼是个共♥产♥党人
Norm here's a Communist.
幻视 你真会开玩笑
Vision, you're a real cut-up.
我总觉得你有点方头方脑的
You know, I always thought you were kind of a square.
我吗 不 我圆得很
Me? No, I'm as round as they come.
想来一条大红口香糖吗
Hey, care for a stick o' Big Red?
等一下
Well, hold on there a second.
你没听他说吗 他不吃食物的
Didn't you hear the man? He doesn't eat food.
口香糖算是食物吗
Is gum food?
我觉得这种东西纯粹是为了咀嚼
Well, my understanding is that it's purely for mastication.
我不嚼
No, I don't do that.
既然都来西景了... 干杯
Well, when in Westview... Cheers.
原来你是个这么风趣的人
Who knew you were such a funny guy?
你刚进来的时候
And to think you came here
还一心挂念着规程什么的
all hot and bothered about protocols and nonsense.
我们还以为你是认真的
We actually thought you were serious.
他真逗 好了 继续说烤肉的事
He's funny. All right, so, back to this barbeque.
所以安排座位前一定要填饱肚子
That is why you never do a seating chart on an empty stomach.
天啊 多蒂 你真是这些委员会事务的魔法师
Golly, you're a whiz at all this committee stuff, Dottie.
谢谢你今天选择我
Thank you for choosing me
帮你收拾现场 我觉得好幸运
to help you clean up today. I feel so lucky.
你的确很幸运
You are.
多蒂 我不禁在想
I can't help but wonder if you and I
我们是不是一开始没给彼此留下好印象
haven't gotten off on the wrong foot, Dottie.
如果可以 我想扭转这一点
And I would like to correct that if I can.
你要怎么做到
And how would you do that?
我听说过关于你的传闻
I've heard things about you.
你和你丈夫
You and your husband.
我不知道你听说了什么
Well, I don't know what you've been told,
但我向你保证 我对谁都没有恶意
but I assure you I don't mean anyone any harm.
我不相信你
I don't believe you.
旺达 旺达 能收到吗 完毕
Wanda. Wanda, can you read me, over?
-旺达 -那是谁
- Wanda? - Who is that?
旺达
Wanda?
你又是谁
Who are you?
旺达
Wanda?
旺达
Wanda.
是谁把你变成这样了 旺达
Who is doing this to you, Wanda?
旺达 旺达 旺...
Wanda? Wanda? Wan...
多蒂
Dottie!
你...
You... Oh!
突击测验 旺达
Pop quiz, Wanda.
家庭主妇如何洗掉白亚麻布上的血迹
How does a housewife get a bloodstain out of white linen?
答案是 自己洗
By doing it herself.
人们说男人有这两样重要配饰
They say a man is never fully-dressed
才算盛装打扮好了
without two important accessories.
他的特别女伴
His special lady...
和他的"男爵"手表
and his Strücker.
男爵 他会为你腾出[制♥造♥]时间
Strücker. He'll make time for you.
男爵手表
瑞士制♥造♥
九头蛇公♥司♥