旺达幻视（2021）

《旺达幻视》前情提要
Previously on WandaVision...
我们是不寻常的一对 知道吧
We are an unusual couple, ya know?
我妻子和她的飞碟啊
My wife and her flying saucers.
我丈夫和他坚不可摧的脑袋啊
My husband and his indestructible head.
亲爱的 我是艾格妮丝 你右边的邻居
Hello, dear. I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right.
你就像台行走的电脑
You're like a walking computer.
什么 我才不是呢
What? I most certainly am not.
跟哈特先生和他的好妻子哈特太太一起吃饭
Dinner with Mr. Hart and his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart.
你们为什么会来这里
What brought you here?
-你们结婚多久了 -你们为什么搬来这里
- How long have you been married? - Why did you come here?
该死 为什么
Damn it, why?
停下 停下
Stop it. Stop it.
幻视 帮帮他
Vision, help him.
什么声音
What was that?
旺达
Wanda?
怎么了 亲爱的
Yes, dear?
你在用你的魔法开灯吗
Are you using your powers to turn on the light?
是的 亲爱的
Yes, dear.
我来吧 亲爱的
Allow me, sweetheart.
你看到了什么
What do you see?
只看到你那些可爱的玫瑰花丛
Only your lovely rose bushes.
没别的了吗
That's all?
你用了你的夜视吗 幻视
Are you using your night vision, Vision?
我向你保证 亲爱的 我什么都没看到
I assure you, my love, I see nothing amiss.
你根本不需要害怕...
You have absolutely no reason to be frightened...
你刚刚说什么
You were saying?
其实最近我上班的时候听几个同事
Actually, I did overhear a couple of lads at work
提起附近出现了一些麻烦人物
remarking on a few unsavory characters settling in the neighborhood.
谁知道那些无所事事的家伙会干什么
Now, who knows what those ne'er-do-wells might be up to?
抢房♥子啊 搞破坏啊
Robbing houses, vandalizing property.
穿墙啊 不用手就能把东西移来移去吗
Walking through walls, moving objects without touching them.
旺达 亲爱的 你不会想说
Wanda, darling, you can't be suggesting
我的同事们说的是我们吧
my colleagues were referring to us.
我们中得有一个人搞清楚这声音到底是哪里来的
One of us should really determine the source of that sound.
是啊 得有一个人
Yes, one of us should.
真是太扯了
Oh, this is getting ridiculous.
我要看一看
I'm going to take a look.
天啊 亲爱的
Oh, God! Darling!
看来我们应付得很好
Well, I think we handled that well.
是的 我要声明我很自豪
Yes, I must say I'm rather proud of myself.
瞧瞧你多么会把握重新装♥修♥的机会啊
And look how you seized on the opportunity to redecorate.
这样更好吧
This is better, isn't it?
旺达 亲爱的
Wanda, darling?
怎么了 亲爱的
Yes, dear?
关灯
Get the light.
欢迎来到西景
旺达幻视
旺达幻视
WandaVision!
旺达幻视
WandaVision!
主演
旺达·马克西莫夫
和幻视
*旺达幻视 旺达幻视*
*WandaVision Wa-WandaVision*
*旺达幻视 旺达幻视*
*WandaVision Wa-WandaVision*
*旺达幻视 旺达幻视*
*WandaVision Wa-WandaVision*
旺达幻视
WandaVision!
旺达幻视
女士们 先生们 最后一个魔法
Ladies and gentlemen, for my final trick,
我将为你们带来 神秘柜
I bring you the Cabinet of Mysteries.
亲爱的 你该上场了
Darling, that's your cue.
你说了"神秘柜"吗
You said, "Cabinet of Mysteries?"
我说了"神秘柜"
I said, "The Cabinet of Mysteries."
那我该出场了
Oh, that's my cue.
我的老天啊
Holy Toledo!
亲爱的 那个才艺秀的其他表演节目
Darling, do all the other acts in the talent show
都要用这么精良的道具吗
have such elaborate props?
你在开玩笑吗
Are you kidding?
弗雷德和琳达要做一条护城河
Fred and Linda are building a moat
还有一扇能开合的吊闸 鬼知道是为什么
and a fully-functioning portcullis and no one even knows why.
我们继续
Let's keep going.
对 对 我说到哪里了
Yes, yes. Where was I? Um...
看好了 我是幻术大♥师♥ 充满了神秘
Watch closely as I, Illusion, Master of Enigma,
我将让我迷人的美艳助手凭空消失
make my captivating assistant, Glamour, disappear.
你真的很有范儿
You really are very dashing.
谢谢你 亲爱的
Mmm, thank you, darling.
不要害怕 美艳助手
Fear not, Glamour.
我幻术大♥师♥保证将会让你完好归来
For I, Illusion, vow to bring you back exactly as you are.
阿布拉卡达布拉
Abracadabra!
好吧 旺达 你就不担心
Yes, um, Wanda, you're not at all worried
这些观众可能会看穿这个小把戏吗
that the audience might just see through this little charade?
这就是这个表演的意义啊
Well, that's the whole point.
真正的魔术表演中 一切都是假的
In a real magic act, everything is fake.
亲爱的 才艺秀募捐会
Darling, the talent show fundraiser
是每季度最重要的事
is the most important event of the season
我们住在这里就有义务参加
and it's our neighborly duty to participate.
再说了 我们这样
Plus, it's our chance to
也是一个尽量假装正常人的好机会
appear as normal as possible while doing so.
我觉得那应该不成问题
Well, I don't think that should be a problem.
现在这里是我们的家了
This is our home now.
我希望我们可以融入进来
I want us to fit in.
亲爱的 我们融入了 我们会的
Oh, darling, we do. We shall.
我们会把他们的袜子都惊艳掉
And we're gonna knock their socks off,
特别是等你穿上这个
especially with you wearing this.
这正好是从你的服装上抠出来的那一块呢
Oh, that's actually the rest of your costume.
要是我还想赶上
Well, I better get going
筹备委员会会议 就得赶紧出发了
if I'm gonna make the planning committee meeting.
我其实也要忙这事
That's me off as well, actually.
社区联防会要在公共图书馆
There's a gathering of the neighborhood watch
集♥合♥开会
at the public library.
在经过昨天刺♥激♥的一晚以后
And after last night's excitement,
我要确保这个小镇的绝对安全
I want to make sure this town's security is up to snuff.
真是一个好主意
That's a swell idea.
告诉那些树杈子 谁才是老大
You tell those tree branches who's boss.
瞧瞧我们啊
Would you look at us?
旺达和幻视 融入西景的居民
Wanda and Vision, Westview fitter-inners.
谢幕时见
I'll see you at curtain call.
瞧啊 是我们的大主演
Look, it's the star o' the show.
艾格妮丝
Agnes.
不好意思 你刚刚说什么
I'm sorry. What did you say?
我给你送我的宠物兔 给你们的魔术表演的
Oh, I brought my pet rabbit. For your magic act.
对了 谢谢你 艾格妮丝
Yes, of course! Thank you, Agnes.
我们会照顾好它的
We will take good care of him.
挠挠先生最喜欢舞台了
Senor Scratchy just loves the stage.
它在去年的圣诞盛典上扮演了婴儿耶稣呢
He played baby Jesus in last year's Christmas pageant.
早上好 丹尼斯
Oh, morning, Dennis.
早上好 艾格尼丝
Morning, Agnes.
举起来
Stick 'em up.
别开枪 我只是一个送信的
Don't shoot. I'm just a messenger.
-走吧 -好的
- Shall we? - Oh, we shall.
你准备好见见
So, are you ready to meet
屁♥股♥皇后和她的那群快乐的主妇了吗
Queen Cul de Sac and her Merry Homemakers?
艾格尼丝 多蒂不会像你说的那么坏的
Agnes, Dottie can't be as bad as you say.
你嗅一嗅她的玫瑰 就会被判死刑了
Hmm, well, you'll notice her roses bloom under penalty of death.
旺达 我能给你一点友好的建议吗
Wanda, can I give you a bit of friendly advice?
是关于我的穿着吗
Is it about the way how I'm dressed?
那也需要 不过已经太晚了
Yes, but it's too late for that.
多蒂是这个镇子上一切的关键
Dottie is the key to everything in this town.
乡村俱乐部会员资格 派对 入学申请...
Country club memberships, parties, school admissions...
还是别说得太早了
Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
你和多蒂处好关系
You get in with Dottie and
你在这里就能如鱼得水
it'll be smooth sailing from here on out.
凡事小心 你绝对没问题的
Just mind your P's and Q's and you're gonna do just fine.
或者也许我能或多或少地做我自己
Or maybe I could just be myself? More or less?