外星也难民

这是什么东西
Whoa, hey. Oh, what is that thing?
别扔 我可以在易贝上卖♥♥掉
Oh, don't throw that out. I can sell that on eBay.
它里面有个不稳定的灰洞
It has an unstable gray hole inside.
你才是不稳定的灰洞
You're an unstable gray hole.
-接得好 -垃圾箱装不下它
- Nice. - It's too big for the trash.
我要把它扔在汉堡王后面
I'm gonna dump it behind the Burger King.
别啊 我可以把它卖♥♥掉 买♥♥个巧克力喷泉
Don't, no, I can sell it and then buy a chocolate fountain
这样我就不会再把微波炉弄得一团糟
so I can stop making a mess in the microwave
你也不用再吼我了
and you won't have to yell at me anymore!
看看噗噗 我说了不要再给噗噗吃糖了
Look at the Pupa. I told you to stop giving the Pupa candy.
他不能吃糖 吃了会生病的
He can't eat candy, it gets him sick!
我没...我不再给他糖了
I didn't-- I don't give him candy anymore.
反正有人给他糖
Well, he's getting it from someone!
天啊 不就一次吗
God, one time.
好极了 又是什么事
Oh great, now what.
业主协会又更新规定了
The homeowners association is updating the rules again.
"园丁必须有带标记的卡车
"Gardeners need to have marked trucks.
不许将房♥车停放在车道
No RV parking in the driveway.
所有伸出屋外的宇宙飞船
All spaceships sticking out of houses
必须被粉刷成搭配饰面的样式"
need to be painted to match the trim."
-你听到了吗 -我们真该买♥♥辆房♥车
- Are you hearing this? - Ooh, we should totally get an RV.
现在这样挺好看的 我不想让它和房♥屋搭调
It looks fine the way it is. I don't want it to blend into the house.
这是我仅有的东西 我最爱宇宙飞船
It's my whole thing, I'm the spaceship guy!
靠 有个灰洞 特里 屋子里有个灰洞
Damn it! There's a gray hole, Terry! A gray hole in the house!
要是我们有辆房♥车 这就没什么大不了的了
If we had an RV, that probably wouldn't even be a big deal.
因为我们可以住在房♥车里
'Cause we could just live in an RV.
傻♥逼♥业主协会 专挑我们麻烦
Stupid HOA, singling us out.
特里 这说明所有邻居都讨厌我们
You know, Terry, this proves that everyone in the neighborhood hates us.
只是讨厌你吧 老兄 我可是很受欢迎的
Oh, speak for yourself, man. I am extremely likable.
不然你以为为什么我走在街上
I mean, why do you think everybody gives me more room
每个人都给我让位置
when I'm walking down the street?
-那是他们躲着我们 -他们爱着我们
- They're avoiding us! - They love us.
我想只有一种办法能知道谁是对的
I think there's only one way to find out who's right.
-纳米机器人 -买♥♥辆房♥车
- Nanobots. - Buy an RV.
纳...纳米机器人
Nan-- Nanobots.
什洛普星曾是个完美的乌托邦
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
直到被小行星撞上
Until the asteroid hit.
一百个成人以及他们的复♥制♥人分到了一只噗噗
One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa
逃往了太空
and escaped into, uh, the space,
在杳无人迹的世界里寻找新家
searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.
我们坠落在地球上
We crashed on Earth,
困在了一个已经人口过密的星球
stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.
是的 我一直在说这个
That's right, I've been talking this whole time.
抱着噗噗的人是我 我叫科尔沃
I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.
这是我的节目
This is-- this is my show.
我的噗噗掉了 你看到我了吗
I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?
这太荒唐了
This is ridiculous.
我讨厌地球 这是个糟糕的家园
I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
人们愚蠢至极
People are stupid.
我不明白人们为什么有这么多穿搭选择
I don't understand why people have so many outfit choices
明明只穿一件粗糙的厚长袍就好
when you could just wear a thick, coarse robe.
这是完美衣着 靴子配长袍 轻而易举
It's the perfect garment. Boots and a robe. Easy.
外星也难民
第一季 第二集
我以为你不再缩小儿童了
I thought you weren't shrinking kids down anymore?
这些是成年人
These are adults.
有几个乱丢垃圾的人
I got a couple litterbugs,
一位在12件结账通道购买♥♥15件商品的女士
a lady who had 15 items in the 12-item lane,
和一个把"日程表"念成"谢朱尔"的家伙
and a guy who pronounces schedule like "shed-jewel".
那不是你炫耀的资本 是你在犯浑
That's not wall worthy, that's you being a jerk.
放心 他们很享受
Relax, they love it.
看看他们
Ha ha ha, look at 'em.
看来有人需要受教训了
Seems like somebody needs to learn a lesson.
小家伙
Hey, little guy!
警报响了
That's the alarm!
你真走运 当你把时间浪费在睡觉上的时候
Lucky for you, I've been teaching myself to hack at night
我教会了自己夜间入侵
while you've been wasting your time sleeping.
亚历克萨 关掉警报
Alexa, turn off alarm.
警报解除
Alarm deactivated.
愚蠢的亚历克萨 总这么听话
Stupid Alexa. Always listening.
举起手来 我有武器
Hold it right there! I'm armed!
致命武力 用破骨枪打他
Lethal force! Zap him with the bone zapper.
完了 这下没电了
Crap, now it's out of charge!
用你的毒牙咬他
Bite down on your poison teeth!
特里
Terry?
戈登
Gordon?
等等 你...你在这工作
Wait, you-you work here?
是啊 哥们 这是我的第三份工作
Yup, yeah, man, it's my third job.
我有三份工作 一二三
I got three jobs, one, two, three.
-三份超棒的工作 -那真是太好了
- Got the three banger jobs, you know. - Oh, man, well, that's good news.
你们是想跳进水池里玩水吗
You guys just here to jump in and splash around the water pools?
废话 但我们也想把微型机器人
Yeah, duh, but we also want to dump microscopic robots
倒入城市供水系统 弄清人们是否喜欢我们
in the town water supply so we can find out if people like us.
-等等 什么 -不 不是你想的那样
- Wait, what? - No, it's not what you think.
所有人会不知不觉喝下
Everyone will unknowingly drink water
被我们的纳米机器人污染的水
contaminated with our nanobots,
纳米机器人会收集他们的记忆
which will harvest all their memories,
然后被他们尿出来 最终回到我们这
and then they'll pee them out and they'll end up back here.
我觉得这听上去十分有趣 伙计们
I think that sounds like a lot of fun, guys.
装着所有人饮用水的大水池
Hey, the room with the big pool of water
就在这边的房♥间里 来吧
that everyone drinks from is right over here. Come on.
-你怎么...认识这家伙的 -他卖♥♥给我一把枪
- How do you, uh, know this guy? - He sold me a gun.
一定要把他们打散 否则他们会产生感知
Be sure to break up the clumps or they might become sentient.
老兄 你确定这管用吗
Hey, man, are you sure this is gonna work?
最好管用 每个机器人花了我24美分呢
Well, it better, each one of these nanobot cost me 24 cents.
每一部《格斗之王》电影都比上一部好
Each Mortal Kombat movie is better than the last.
他们应该重新启动开拍
I mean, they should reboot them.
老实说 你能相信票房♥会有多火爆吗
Honestly, can you imagine how boffo the box office would be?
我们把纳米机器人忘了
We forgot to check the nanobots!
社区娱乐中心
今晚业主协会选举
明晚 大都会舞会
等等 等等
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it.
你们怎么确定能捞出所有机器人
How can you be sure you're gonna get all of those things out of there?
我开玩笑的 我才不管呢
I'm just kidding, I don't care.
我在净水厂工作 我又不是警♥察♥
I work at the water treatment plant, I'm not a cop.
对了 我有些海♥洛♥因♥ 你们想来点吗
Oh, hey, by the way, I got some heroin. You guys wanna do heroin?
起作用了 我们拥有附近每个人的尿液数据
It worked. We have pee-data on everyone in the neighborhood!
我终于可以把人们简化成统计数据了
I can finally reduce people to statistics!
血型 他们最喜欢的歌♥
Blood type, what their favorite song is,
他们有多大♥比♥例是弯的
what percentage gay they are--
这就是人们有多么喜欢我们的程度
Ooh! This is how much people like us!
什么情况 街区的特伦特
What the hell? Trent from around the block doesn't like
不喜欢我让噗噗在他家草坪上大便
that I let Pupa go number two on his lawn?
那他得上哪拉啊
Where the heck is he supposed to go?
布鲁克和黛安都觉得
Brooke and Diane both think
我在杂货店问题太多
I ask too many questions at the grocery store.
我是外太空来的
I'm from outer space!
我不清楚你们为什么要烤两次面包
It's not clear to me why you have to cook bread twice.
米切尔觉得我太吵了
Mitchell thinks I'm too loud!
我就知道 大家不喜欢我们 对吗
I knew it! We're unlikable, aren't we?
是因为高科技吗 还是我身上臭 到底为什么
Is it the sci-fi stuff? Do I smell bad? What is it?
看来大家就是不喜欢我们
Looks like people just generally don't like us!
有一个人很讨厌你
One guy hates you.
-谁 -一个叫泰勒的家伙
- Who? - This, uh-some dude Tyler.
我都不认识叫泰勒的人
I don't even know anyone named Tyler.
感觉就像被蜜蜂围着蛰一样
Ugh, it feels like I'm covered in bees!
去他的泰勒 我对他怎么了
Fuck this Tyler guy. What did I ever do to him?
我们可以做些改变 科尔沃
We-we-we can act different, Korvo.
我们可以让大家喜欢上我们
I mean, we can make people like us.
我得把这艘飞船修好
I need to repair this godforsaken ship.
如果人们不喜欢我们 这项任务
And if people don't like us, that will make that job
就会困难很多了