外星也难民

回见 傻货
Later, dickholes.
什么情况 科尔沃 什么情况
What the hell, Korvo? What the hell?
-那两个人到底是谁 -看看我
- Who the hell were those guys? - Look at me.
我在起疙瘩 我在造疙瘩小人
I'm gooblering. I'm making gooblers.
我们的身体只有在极端苦恼时才会冒疙瘩小人
Our bodies only make gooblers during extreme distress.
我天 上次这样
Oh, my God, I haven't goobled
还是在学校他们逼我们一起洗澡的时候
since they made us shower together at the academy.
根据《市井词典》 我们被"挤压"了
According to the Urban Dictionary, we've been "squinched."
-这意味着我们被摆脱了 -我天
- It means we've been cut loose. - Oh, man.
为什么我会有这种感觉 真疼
Why do I feel like this? It hurts.
我们的身体承受不了如此剧烈的感情
Our bodies are not designed for this emotional overload.
我们可能会过热然后死掉
There is a chance that we will overheat and die.
不 我不能死 我还有好多事没做呢
No, I-I can't die. I've got a bucket list.
我还没摸过海豚 没上过《就是这价》
I haven't touched a dolphin or been on The Price Is Right.
猜商品定价的美国电视游戏节目
我还想在印度的一辆火车上坠入爱河
I'm supposed to fall in love on a train in India
那个女人的年纪或许比我大一点
and maybe the woman's a little bit older than me.
我们得搞清楚他们有什么我们没有的东西
We have to figure out what those bros have that we don't.
他们只是一起打发时间
They're just hanging out.
这不可能 我们也是这么做的
That can't be right. I mean, we do that, too.
他妈的
Oh, fuck!
搞什么 你们是在跟踪我吗
What the hell? Are you stalking me?
我的天 看看他们的穿着打扮
Oh, my God. Look at what they're wearing.
妈的 他们在模仿我们的打扮
Oh, shit, they tried to copy our outfits.
这得多悲催啊
How pathetic is that?
-我们一直都是这么打扮的 -老兄 醒醒
- We wear things like this all the time. - Bro, get a clue.
-芬巴奇不想理你们 -别哭了 软蛋
- Funbucket's done with you. - Will you stop crying, you babies?
你才是软蛋 蠢货
You're a baby, idiot!
去你的 芬巴奇
Fuck you, Funbucket!
坏噗噗 吐出来 吐出来
Bad Pupa. Drop it, drop it.
说真的 里面好臭
Seriously, it smells really bad in there.
感觉它吃了烂海棠果什么的
I think it ate, like, an old crabapple or something.
事情为什么不能一直是原来的样子
Why can't things just be the way they used to be?
电视里演的都是真的 芬巴奇喜欢我们 也不讨人厌
TV was real and Funbucket liked us and wasn't a dick.
芬巴奇太真实了 但芬巴奇二号♥会更好
Funbucket was too real. Funbucket 2 is gonna be better.
对对对对对
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
让它喜爱我们 把它弄得活泼可爱点
Make him love us, Korvo. Give him all the bells and whistles.
让它永远不会离开我们
Make it so he never leaves us.
谁想要一起去野营
Who wants to go camping?!
-不 我们要去夜店 -我会承受你的罪过
- No, we're going to the club. - Put your sin in me.
-它的宣传语还需要改进 -没问题
- His catchphrases need work. - They're fine.
准备好喝浓汤了吗 大家晚安
Y'all ready for bisque? Good night, everybody.
芬巴奇二号♥ 你的舞跳得真棒
Ha ha ha, oh, Funbucket 2, you sure are an amazing dancer.
我来这里要做两件事
I've come here to do two things.
-准备好喝浓汤了吗 -那边的
- Y'all ready for bisque? - Hello.
没人在乎你们那个劣质的山寨芬巴奇
Nobody cares about your janky knock-off Funbucket.
你这是嫉妒 改良版芬巴奇比你高级多了
You are just jealous. Our revised Funbucket is vastly superior.
这玩意是个怪胎 你们这是在自找没趣
Uh, this thing is a freak. You're seriously embarrassing yourselves.
什么情况 天啊
What's happening? Oh, God.
-看不见的力量在拉拢我们 -快停下
- Unseen forces pulling us together. - Whoa, whoa, hey, stop that.
离我们的芬巴奇远点
Get away from our Funbucket.
-量子注射器 -救命 救命
- The quantum injector. Oh. - Help! Help!
也许 它们的身体矩阵正在整合为一体
Maybe the-- I think their flesh matrixes are attempting to reconcile.
准备好喝浓汤了吗
Y'all ready for bisque?
不 不 不
No, no, no!
你们卖♥♥可外带的酒水吗
Hey, uh, you guys do to-go cups?
太好了 我要打包几杯在路上喝 谢谢
Great, could I get uh, just a couple to-go cups for the road? Thanks.
你说人们不会因此而怪罪我们吧
You don't think people are gonna get mad at us for this, right?
别担心特里 谁都可能造出来变异体
Terry, relax. That could be anyone's mutant.
特里 科尔沃
Terry! Korvo!
我们得做点什么
We should do something.
你为什么要有这么多娃娃
Why do you need so many dolls?
你又为什么要有那么多把射线枪
Why do you need so many ray guns?
-因为我们是外星人 -那也有些多余了
- Because we're aliens. - It just seems excessive.
莉迪亚·约翰逊于本周一失踪
Lidia Johnson was last seen Monday.
如有任何与之相关的目击线索
Her parents are pleading for any information
请告知其父母
that leads to her safe return.
能有就怪了
Good luck with that.
莉迪亚 我是兰迪 别闹了 赶紧给我回家
Lidia, it's Randy. Stop fucking around and come home.
该死 这对我来说太难了
God damn it, this is hard on me.
我都不知道我会如此想念你
I didn't think I'd miss you this much.
我的继父居然真的在乎我
Wow, my stepdad actually does care.
我会被奖励吗 怎么操作的
Do we get a reward too, or how does that work?
突发新闻 据报道芬巴奇真实存在
Breaking news, I am being told Funbucket is real--
-该死 你在冒疙瘩 -不
- Dang, girl, you gooblering. - Uh, oh, no.
因为警♥察♥在抓我们
Yeah, 'cause the police are after us.
人类和他们的子女到底是怎么一回事
Yeah, well, what is it with humans and their kids?
-他们不是喜欢造小孩吗 -我们该怎么办
- I thought they liked making them. - What are we gonna do?
现在的状况是典型的"在维加斯杀了妓♥女♥"
This is a classic "killed a hooker in Vegas" situation.
越拖延后果严重
Stalling is only gonna make it worse.
放我走 我会让他们把你们关到一座好的监狱
Let me go and I'll tell them to put you in a good prison.
-我们可以把她溶解掉 -我去拿酸
- We could dissolve her. - I'll get the acid.
-你在做错事 -她说得对
- This is wrong. - She's right.
你应该像敲番茄酱瓶子那样敲侧面
You should hit the side like ketchup.
你们不能杀了我
You can't just kill me.
别担心 我们会把溶剩下的部分种到地里
Don't worry, we'll plant your pieces
你再长出来就是个漂亮的姑娘了
and you'll grow into a beautiful new girl.
那根本就说不通 就不能给我洗个脑吗
It doesn't work like that! Can you just wipe my brain?
什么是大脑
What's a brain?
等等 不能把车停在这 明天有道路清理
Wait, we can't park here. There's street cleaning tomorrow.
缩小射线枪在你们这吗
Have you guys seen the shrink ray?
一般跟没人用的冰激凌机一起放在橱柜里的
It's usually in the cupboard with the ice cream maker we never use.
我用它做冻酸奶吃的好吗
Hey, I use it to freeze and eat yogurt.
-这太尴尬了 -你们为什么在解剖同学
- This is so embarrassing. - Why are you dissecting your classmate?
即便被无数科学家研究了
Despite having been examined by countless scientists
上百年
over hundreds of years,
人类的大脑至今仍保持着神秘
the human brain is still a mystery.
而且她在学校对我们很刻薄
Plus, she was mean to us at school.
所有人都这样 又不是我挑起的
Everyone is mean to them. I didn't invent it.
上学太烂了 我们不喜欢
School sucks, okay? We don't like it.
喜不喜欢不重要 我们是有任务的
It doesn't matter if you like it. We're on a mission.
事情不如意的时候 你不能任凭情绪左右
When things don't go your way, you can't just give in to emotion
肆意妄为 比如造一个芬巴奇出来
and do whatever you want like make a new Funbucket.
-什么 -你们不能随便缩小人类
- What? - Uh, you can't shrink people.
我们没打算杀了她 只是重新编码一下
We weren't gonna kill her. We were just reprogramming her a little.
我们惹上麻烦了吗
Are we in trouble?
回来再商量怎么禁你们足
We will discuss your grounding later.
把她缝好放她回去
Sew her up and let her go.
你们的禁足就是后半生都将在牢里度过
Your grounding is going to be prison for the rest of your lives.
跟你们讲 在牢里做一个奇怪的外星人
And let me tell you, being a weird alien in jail
下场可不会很好看
is not going to be pretty.
我刚才打算揍谁来着
Whose ass was I gonna kick again?
一直浇到她冷静下来
Just keep doing that until she's cool.
有人要进监狱了
Someone's going to prison.
有人 我是一朵向日葵
Someone's-- I'm a sunflower.
这真的能让她变傻
Wow, it really is making her dumber.
简直不敢相信人类会喝这种东西
I can't believe humans drink this stuff.
浇激浪的话效率会高得多
This would be going a lot faster if we had some Mountain Dew.
你能开直线吗
Uh, will you drive straight?
我已经很努力了 特里
The effort is already being made, Terry.
我认为我们应该 了结它的痛苦
I guess we should, uh, put it out of its misery.
不 应该是我来
No, I should.
你知道吗 特里 我今天学了重要的一课
You know, Terry, I've learned an important lesson today.
你不应该把自己的欲望强加给别的生物
You can't project your own wants and desires on other creatures--
-糟糕 抓住它 抓住它 -糟糕 糟糕
- Oh, crap, catch it, catch it, catch it. - Oh, crap, oh, crap, oh crap.
这不是你的错 合体芬巴奇
This isn't your fault, Combo Funbucket.
我们不该被自己的情绪左右
We shouldn't have been guided by emotions.
没事的 我们最后再来一次好玩的冒险
It's gonna be okay. We're gonna have one last great adventure
-然后你就到商场去住了 -商场
- before you go live at the mall. - The mall?
什么 我以为我们要杀了他呢
What? I thought we were gonna kill him.
我以为我们要把他从这里扔下去