外星也难民

吃我一枪 大变智障
Get dumb, motherfucker.
分子生物学 圣经
特里 这只能在应急的时候用
Terry, we're only supposed to use that in emergencies,
以防我们想得太多了
when we're overthinking things.
现在就是这种情况
That's what's happening right now.
求你了 别让我变傻
Please don't make me dumb.
这样我的播客就会变得毫无逻辑
None of my podcasts are gonna make any sense.
你傻我也傻 我们就是葫芦藤上的两个瓜
If you're dumb and I'm dumb, then we can be dumb together.
这个计划太蠢了
But that plan is dumb.
我天 科尔沃 你还好吗
Oh my gosh, Korvo. Are you okay?
老兄 感觉怎么样
Hey, bud, how you feeling?
你变傻了吗
Are you dumb now?
我想看《飞越童真》三部曲
I wanna watch the "Look Who's Talking" trilogy
就着番茄酱吃热狗
and eat hot dogs with ketchup.
万岁 搞定
Yeah! Dab it!
我喜欢尽我所能 狂灌啤酒
I love getting beer in my body as fast as I can.
英雄所见略同 兄弟
Preaching to the choir, bro.
你想不想和我一起把麦当劳餐全入
Do you wanna buy everything on the McDonald's menu
把它们搓成一个大球
and smoosh it together into a big ball
然后用刀叉吃掉
and then eat it with a knife and fork with me?
我愿意 打心底里愿意
Yes, a million times, yes.
图派克像氧气
2Pac is like oxygen
图派克 西斯科
氧气 钚
非裔美国西岸嘻哈音乐人 诗人 演员
离了他我们没法活
because we need him to live,
而西斯科更像是钚
while Sisqo is more like plutonium
美国R＆B歌♥手 歌♥曲作者 唱片制♥作♥人 舞蹈演员和演员
只是在我们眼中
because he was kinda just a one-hit wonder
一闪而过而已
that we've forgotten about.
我从来都不知道学校的课其实都是说唱
Wow, I never realized that every school subject is basically rap.
这是你一整天说得最像说唱的话了
That's the most rap thing you've said all day.
A+
A plus.
老天 快没时间了 该我了 教教我
Oh crap. We're running out of time. It's my turn. Teach me now.
欢迎来到英语初级班
Well, welcome to English 101.
所有人拿起课本
Everyone, pick up your textbook.
扔出去
Now throw it out!
我们不需要课本 我用心授课
We won't be needing it. I teach from the heart.
等等 把它从垃圾桶里捡回来
Wait. Actually, go grab it from the trash.
没错 我们要紧随文本
Yeah, we're gonna rely heavily on the text.
-现在把它扔了 -搞错没有
- Now throw it out! - Oh, come on!
来我们家狂欢吧
Rager at our place.
派对从???点开始 凌晨2点结束
Party starts at triple question marks and goes till 2:00 a.m.
必须在那之前结束
We have a hard out.
扶住这里 抓紧这里
Grab onto here. Hold here.
蜘蛛 都别动
Spider! Nobody move.
去你♥妈♥的♥ 蜘蛛
Fuck you, spider.
我们为什么要说派对从???点开始
Ugh, why did we start the party at triple question mark?
一整天都有人涌进来
People have been rolling in all day.
谁想看我把这个瓶子砸烂
Who wants to see me smash this bottle.
摸摸我的袍子 快来个人摸摸我的袍子
Touch my robes. Someone touch my fucking robes.
我得了95 你得了33
Okay, I got a 95, you got a 33.
我们及格了 我们还每天都来学校
Ah, we passed, and we were at school every single day.
-我们成功了 -耶
- Yeah, we did it! - Yay!
我说了我们每天都来这儿
I said we were here every day!
我们成功了 你们可以出来了
Hey, we did it. You can come out now.
你们在等什么
What are you waiting for?
按常理 他们应该兴奋地跑出来
Huh. You'd think they'd be raring to get out here.
除非根本没人盯着我们
Unless nobody's been watching us
他们说的我们不能再旷课了
and when they said we couldn't miss a day of school,
是指大家都来学校上课的时候
they meant when everyone else was here too.
所以我们就平白无故地耗了这么长时间
So we got along this whole time for no reason?
我猜是的 那么 现在做什么好呢
I guess so. So, now what?
你想用科幻道具破坏下校园吗
You wanna trash the school with sci-fi stuff?
当然
Fuck yeah.
当心
Hey, watch out!
我们当中必须有个人把这个装到门上
All right, one of us has to attach this to the door
并在它引爆之前离开
and get away before it detonates.
我在空闲时间一直在练习躲避爆♥炸♥
I've been practicing avoiding explosions in my free time,
-所以我应该能顺利完成 -不
- so I think I can pull it off. - No.
在被缩小小之前 我曾是个7-11便利店员
In the before-fore, I was a 7-Eleven employee.
一个差劲的店员
A really bad one.
待人刻薄 还常往思乐冰机器里小便
I was mean to everyone, and I used to piss in the Slurpee machine.
这里不同 在这我可以像一个英雄般牺牲
But things are different in here. In here, I can die a hero.
布莱森 我刚说完
Bryson, I just told you.
没人需要牺牲 我感觉我完全可以躲开
Nobody has to die, because I think I can jump away
-炸♥弹♥炸不着我 -我即荣光
- well before the explosion-- - Blaze of glory!
完了
Oh shit.
-快跑 布莱森 -布莱森 快离开那
- Run! Run, Bryson! - Bryson, run!
不 没有时间了
No! There's no time.
好吧 实际上可能时间是够
Oh, okay. Actually, there may--
布莱森
Bryson!
我的天
Holy shit!
我还活着
Ah. I'm alive.
但我瞎了
But I'm blind.
你可以跑开的 你为什么不跑
You should have run. Why didn't you run?
不 我的屌♥被炸飞了
Oh no, my dick got blown off.
我看不见了 屌♥也没了
I'm blind and I have no dick.
求求你们 走吧
Please, just leave.
我是个没有屌♥的瞎子
I'm blind and I have no dick.
我摸到小♥弟♥弟♥了
Hey, I found it.
它一直都在 只是比我想的位置低一些
It was there all along. Just lower than I thought.
看看这个 特里 看好了
Check this out, Terry. Watch.
停停停 你不是总跟我说
Wait, wait, wait. Don't you always tell me
乱按飞船上的按钮会很危险吗
that pressing buttons on the ship can be dangerous?
别小题大做了
Don't be a little beeyatch.
-你看 啥事没有 -我爱智障科尔沃
- See, it's fine. - Man, I love dumb Korvo.
老兄 科尔沃 快来跟我们一起吸这个来
Dude, Korvo, get over here and snort this with us.
欧克 欧克 吸他妈的
Oink-oink, mother-fuckah!
冰冻岩浆
Ice lava.
好冷
It's freezing.
老天 之后又好烫
Oh my God and then it burns.
快住手
Ha ha, stop.
别用镭射枪射我了 好痒
Stop lasering me. That tickles.
抓到你了
Oh, I got you now.
这我们弄出来的冰岩浆吗
Did we make ice lava?
不知道 可能是吧
I don't know. Maybe.
到你抓我了
You're it.
不公平 我刚才分神了
No fair. I was distracted.
科尔沃 我们该怎么办
Korvo, what do we do?
给飞船供能的冷热岩浆流得到处都是
The hot cold lava that powers the ship is getting on everyone.
别担心 我知道该做什么
Don't worry, I know what to do.
我在操外星人呢 老兄
I'm boning an alien, bro.
别再智障了
Stop being dumb.
你是唯一了解冰岩浆的人
You're the only one who knows about ice lava.
特里 我知道怎么处理它
Terry, I know how to fix it.
我们放松看点电影三部曲就好了
We just kick back and watch some movie trilogies.
这状况不用管它自己会恢复的
Th-this whole thing will sort itself out on its own.
我们一个三部曲都看不完
We don't have time for even one trilogy.
谁能想到图省事投机取巧
Ugh. Who would have thought cutting corners
让你变成智障会有这种下场
and making you dumb would blow up like this.
也许看看第二部《黑客帝国》会有帮助
Maybe the second "Matrix" movie will help.
不按顺序观看更好看
They're better out of order.
也许我想办法修好智慧射线枪的话
Maybe if I can learn how to fix the smart gun,
我就能让你变回去来修理飞船了
I can zap you back into fixing the ship.
你在这里不要走动 我去让你再变聪明
Stay here. I will make you smart again.
我现在不聪明不代表我是聋子
Hey, just 'cause I'm dumb doesn't mean that I'm deaf.
快点 快点
Come on. Come on.
找到了 这说明书也不是很厚嘛
Ah, yes. Hey, the manual isn't too big.
妈的
Aah! Ah, crap.
好的 特里 你能做到的
Okay, Terry, you can do this.
专注 学习 聪明点
Focus. Learn. Be smart.
我去 墨菲斯 你是从哪搞来的牛逼墨镜