外星也难民

不许搞任何《外星界限》那套东西
or any of that Outer Limits bullshit.
你们要表现得像普通孩子那样
You act like regular kids,
否则就开除你们
or you will be expelled.
现在给我滚出去
Now get the fuck outta here!
你早该把他们赶到大街上去了
Oh, you should have their asses on the street already.
你得赚钱 库克
You need to sack up, Cooke.
我们很快就会逮到他们了 弗朗基女士
We'll get them soon enough, Ms. Frankie.
然后你就会看到我有多厉害
And then you'll see how powerful I am.
过来
Come here.
他们要是像对待普通孩子那样对待我们就好了
I wish they would just treat us like regular kids.
是啊 有缩小射线枪的普通孩子
Yeah, regular kids with a shrink ray.
我要揍扁你 让我出去
I'm gonna kick your ass. Let me out of here!
真不敢相信我们真的要去见芬巴奇了
I cannot believe we are actually going to meet Funbucket.
我的礼袍看上去怎么样 特里
Do my robes look okay, Terry?
天 我要问他他能否在水下呼吸
Oh, man, I'm gonna ask him if he can breathe underwater.
他...他肯定能 坦白说 也许不该问
I-I-I bet he can. Honestly, I just-- maybe I shouldn't.
不 我还是要跟他问清楚
No, I'm gonna ask him just to make sure.
特里 他得知这个星球上还有其他
Terry, I believe he's gonna be overjoyed
非人类物种一定会欣喜若狂的
to learn there are other non-humans on this planet.
他再也不会沮丧和孤单了
He will no longer feel frustrated and alone.
我要请他来玩任天堂 你说他是任天堂迷吗
I'm gonna invite him over for Nintendo. You think he's a Nintendo guy?
-如果他是世嘉迷呢 -你觉得他会不会也有个任务
- Oh, what if he's a Sega man? - Do you think he has a mission, too?
他肯定有
Oh, oh, I bet he does.
你觉得他的毛是又粗又硬还是又软又滑
Do you think his fur is coarse and hard or soft and silky?
-奇怪 -什么 什么
- Hm, odd. - What, what?
芬巴奇比电视上看起来大
Funbucket is larger than he appears on TV.
确实 等等 他的皮是用布做的吗
Yeah, he is. Hold on, is his skin made of cloth?
-恶心 -怎么回事
- Ew! - What the fuck is going on?
那有线 你们必须退回线后 先生
There's a line. You need to get back in line, sir-- ah!
是个小孩 你对芬巴奇做了什么
It's just some kid. What did you do with Funbucket?
我要求见芬巴奇
I demand to see Funbucket.
芬巴奇不是真实的 你们这些白♥痴♥
Funbucket isn't real, you idiots.
他是真实的 我们在电视上看到他了
Yes he is. We watch him on TV.
-那是个儿童节目 -儿童节目
- It's a kids' show. - A kids' show?
滚开 滚
Get out of here, go!
芬巴奇不是真实的
Funbucket isn't real?
芬巴奇一定是真实的 一定是
Funbucket has to be real. He has to be.
-电视骗了我们 它说谎了 -不可能
- TV lied to us. It lied. - That's impossible.
人类的全部历史都记录在电视上
All of human history is recorded on the TV.
我甚至再也分不清什么是真实的了
I don't even know what's real anymore.
潜艇是真实的吗
Are submarines real?
-企鹅是真实的吗 -不知道 也许不是
- Are penguins real? - I don't know, probably not.
等等 量子注射器
Wait, the quantum injector.
《老友记》是真实的吗
Is Friends real?
《欢乐一家亲》是真实的吗
Is Frasier real?
如果连《欢乐一家亲》都不是真实的
If Frasier isn't real,
我就不活了
I'm going to kill myself!
-你怎么还有心思工作 -量子注射器
- How can you even think of work right now? - The quantum injector.
主要用于修复物质传输数据中的
Primarily used for repairing organic emitters
有机发射体 但只需稍加调整
in the matter transfer array, but with a few small adjustments--
我们就能把芬巴奇变成真实的
We can make Funbucket real.
我们需要芬巴奇
We need Funbucket.
他能帮助我们完成任务 特里
He could help us with the mission, Terry.
他是个科学咖
He's a man of science.
你看到他和那个小孩在地下室的实验室了
You saw the lab he had with that child in the kid's basement.
你看到他那一集搞的东西了
You saw the shit he was doing in that one episode.
我们需要他越真实越好
We need him to be as real as possible.
每一丝每一毫调整都至关重要
Every single little tiny smidgen of adjustments will matter.
宾果邦果 我是芬巴奇
Bingo bango, I'm Funbucket.
芬巴奇 我是科尔沃 这是特里
Funbucket, I'm Korvo and this is Terry,
我们是你的新死党
and we are your new best friends.
你们不会是想上[耍]我吧
You guys aren't gonna try to fuck me, are you?
不 不 不 不
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
宾果邦果
Bingo bango!
你真是个购物狂 芬巴奇
You are such a shopaholic, Funbucket.
买♥♥治百病 亲
Retail therapy, baby.
这可不是你的宣传语 说宾果邦果
Hey, that's not your catchphrase. Say bingo bango.
-宾果邦果 -这就对了
- Uh, bingo bango. - Oh, there it is.
看看这是谁从电视上下来了
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Check out who's real.
让我过去成吗 你停一停
Just let me past, will you? Stop it.
我想你或许该向我们货真价实的朋友道歉
I think you might maybe owe our very real friend an apology.
-抱歉我以为你只是虚拟人物 -没关系
- I'm sorry I thought you weren't real. - Yeah, it's... okay.
我们去布鲁明黛百货的化妆品专柜吧
Ooh, let's go to the makeup counter at Bloomie's.
让你今晚漂漂亮亮地去夜店
We can get you all done up for the club tonight.
我喜欢我的模样
I like how I look.
芬巴奇 没有商量的余地
Funbucket, this is not gonna be a discussion.
我们希望你打扮得光鲜亮丽的
We want you to be dolled up and spruced up
这样大家就会想 我天
so that the people are like, oh, damn.
和芬巴奇一起来夜店的美男子是谁啊
Who are these cool guys at the club with a Funbucket?
听着 马上把我变回原样
Look, make me big right now.
我要往死里打你 但我保证留你一口气
I'm gonna beat you up really bad but I promise I won't kill you.
快走迷宫 你要把我的数据搞砸了
Just do the maze. You're screwing up my metrics.
这太蠢了 你确定这不会让我们
This is stupid. Are you sure we aren't gonna
惹下天大的麻烦吗
get like, super duper crazy trouble for this?
人类一直都拿低阶生物做实验
Humans test lower species all the time.
我们把她放到野地里和动物一起生活吧
Let's just let her go in a field so she can live with the animals.
然后数据泡汤 见鬼 你到底想不想研究人类
And lose this data? Damn it. Do you even want to study humans?
不想 我想和朋友吃午餐 和男孩子看电影
No! I want to eat lunch with friends and see movies with boys.
-搞定 -我忘给你计时了
- Done! - I forgot to time you.
-再来一遍 -老天 这蠢到家了
- Do it again. - Man, this is fuckin' stupid.
我都快不知道你是谁了
I don't even know who you are anymore.
以前的你科学理性 现在你就是个混♥蛋♥
You used to be so scientific. Now you're just a jerk.
后续实验会揭示每个人都讨厌我们的原因
Continued experimentation could reveal why everyone is mean to us.
我只想逛逛商场
I just want to chill at the mall.
不好 她要打小报告了
Oh, shit, she's going to tattle.
特里姆城
我天 瞧瞧这个地方
A-ha, damn. Look at this place.
是特里姆城
It's Trim City!
还有查宁·塔图姆伏特加
Ooh, they have Channing Tatum's vodka.
老兄 老兄 老兄 我们应该带芬巴奇
Oh, dude, dude, dude, we should take Funbucket
自驾游 去纽约
on a road trip and go to New York City
在路上听播客和加菲根的唱片
and listen to podcasts and Gaffigan albums the whole way.
美国单口喜剧演员
他是美国之父
He's America's dad!
这一定会令人非常愉快
Oh, that would be quite the enjoyable experience.
或许我们可以一起
Perhaps we could all
参观沿途有趣的景点
stop at some fun roadside attractions along the way.
棒 科尔沃
Yes! Hey, Korv.
你觉不觉得你开始有点喜欢地球了
You think you're starting to warm up to Earth a little?
我得承认 有了芬巴奇的陪伴
I must admit, with Funbucket around,
修理飞船不像从前那样要紧了
repairing the ship has lost a little bit of urgency.
老天 我快被你弄哭了
Oh, my God, you're gonna make me cry.
芬巴奇 我们给你买♥♥了杯酒
Funbucket, we got your drink.
我们应该绕过人群
We should circumnavigate the crowd.
你们好 我是特里 他是科尔沃
What up, my dudes? Hey, I'm Terry, this is Korvo.
-我们是外星人 -劳驾你们腾腾地方
- We're aliens. - Make room at the table
-我们好坐下 -你认识这些傻货吗 朋友
- so we may join you. - You know these dipshits, fam?
-不认识 -他在开玩笑罢了
- No. - Oh, he's just kidding around.
-给你买♥♥了酒 芬巴奇 -别傻了 老兄
- Hey, we got you a drink, Funbucket. - Take a hint, bro.
-芬巴奇现在和我们一起了 -我不明白
- Funbucket's with us now. - I-- wait, wait, I don't understand.
和你们一起 什么意思
With? What do you mean?
他的意思是让你滚犊子 老兄
He means go fuck yourself, bro.
是我用量子注射器把芬巴奇造出来的
I made Funbucket with a quantum injector.
他属于我们
Okay, he belongs to us.
我不属于任何人 我是真实存在的
Uh, I don't belong to anyone. I'm real.
那去泰国的冲浪之旅呢
Oh, but-but surfing, Thailand.
崔维斯和艾弗里现在是我的朋友了
Travis and Avery are my friends now.
他们不把我看作智障的电视剧配角
They don't treat me like some dumb TV sidekick.
还有 我们不♥穿♥愚蠢的巫师袍
Plus, we don't wear stupid wizard robes.
这是礼服
This is ceremonial garb.
够了 把他们给我拖出去
That's it. Get 'em the fuck out of here.