外星也难民

跟《空中大灌篮》里的小怪物们比赛
for a game against the Monstars from Space Jam ?
我们或许没有选择彼此 特里
You know, we may not have chosen each other, Terry,
但我们建设了美好生活
but we've built a good life.
-我不想将它抛弃 -我也不想 科尔沃
- I don't want to throw that away. - Neither do I, Korvo.
-我去 -嘿
- Holy shit! - Hey.
你看了我发给你的我的小土墩的照片吗
Did you peep that photo of my mound I sent you?
很酷吧
Pretty tight, right?
你讨厌它 什么意思
What do you mean you hated it?
你不想看我微小无毛土墩的照片
You don't want a photo of my tiny, hairless mound?
你没看到硬皮吗
Didn't you see the crust?
是凡波 我们该怎么办
There's Vanbo! What-what-what do we do?
这是我们拨乱反正的机会 用时间杖打他
This is our chance to set things right. Hit him with the time stick!
-什么 -溯物杖
- The what now? - The Retouch-Your-Stuff-Alizer.
对哦
Oh, duh, yeah, right.
住手
Stop it!
等等 这就是你想带我去的地方
Wait, this is where you wanna take me?
你不是说冻酸奶是缉毒侦探的冰淇淋吗
I thought you said frozen yogurt was ice cream for narcs.
没错 但现在我对你好 意味着
Ooh, it is, but now I'm nice to you, which means
即使味道像尘土也要吃恶心的冰泥
eating disgusting cold slime even if it tastes like dust.
你感觉还好吗 雅姆莱克
Are you feeling okay, Yumyulack?
是的 排我前面吧
Oh, yeah, please, go ahead of me in line.
我很乐意在你品尝的时候帮你拿包
I would be happy to hold your purse while you sample some flavors.
-你要帮我拿包 -没错
- You're offering to hold my purse? - Correct.
-还让我排前面 -当然
- While I go first? - Of course.
好吧 听上去很棒
Well, okay, that sounds great.
让我找找 就在这里
Let me just, uh, here, it's in here...
天呐 你什么毛病
Oh, my God. What's wrong with you?
别担心 这不是我哥哥
Don't worry, that's not my brother.
是模拟舱把他的意识转到了
It's a Pretend-O-Deck simulation that's transferred his consciousness
3D打印的身体里 想要替代他
to a 3D printed body and is trying to take his place.
杰茜 为什么 我对你那么好
Jesse, why? I was... nice.
我要报♥警♥了 不准动
I'm calling the police. Don't move.
你把他变成了一个游戏盒子
You turned him into a Game Boy cartridge.
-忘了你所看到的 先生 -我做不到
- Just forget what you saw here, sir. - I can't!
太具体了
It's so specific!
拜托醒醒 我很抱歉我创造了趣姆莱克
Uh, please wake up. I'm so sorry I created Funyulack.
你有时虽然很渣
You can be kind of a jerk sometimes
但你是我哥哥 我爱你
but you're my brother and I love you.
嗨 杰茜
Hi, Jesse.
你想要继续我们的对话吗
Would you like to continue our discussion
关于皮塔和盖尔谁更性感
of who is hotter, Peeta or Gale?
或者我们可以玩疯狂商场 练习我们的舞步
Or we could play Mall Madness and practice our dance moves.
你不是雅姆莱克 你是趣姆莱克
You're not Yumyulack. You're Funyulack!
谢谢你甜蜜的吻
Thank you for those sweet, sweet kisses.
冻结程序 冻结程序 天 不要 我杀了雅姆莱克
Freeze program, freeze program. Oh, God, no, I killed Yumyulack.
我杀了雅姆莱克 把他变成了游戏盒子
I killed Yumyulack and turned his body into a Game Boy cartridge!
就像幸运饼预测的那样
Just like that fortune cookie said I would!
现在谁是蓝色史莱克啊 贱♥人♥
Who's a blue Shrek now, bitch?
我们得除掉他的尸体
We gotta get rid of this body, man.
你有能把他变成游戏盒子的东西吗
Do you have the thing that turns them into Game Boy cartridges?
没有 我每次需要的时候就没带
Ah, no, I never bring it when I end up needing it.
记得 特里 我们是英雄
Remember, Terry, we're heroes.
-我们做到了 凡波不在了 -我们修好了时间线
- We did it, Vanbo's gone. - We repaired the time stream.
耶
Hey, yeah!
非常好
This is very good.
我们似乎微微地改变了时间线
It appears we may have slightly altered the time stream.
还不算太糟
Um, well, it's not so bad.
只要凡波不在 我就能忍♥
I mean, I can live with this as long as Vanbo's not around.
你们好啊 奸鸡者
Hello, futtbuckers.
凡波 你怎么在这
Vanbo? What are you doing here?
你应该死透了的
Your ass should be dead as hell!
应该死透 但我被一个特别之人
Should be dead as hell. But I was rescued
拯救并恢复了健康
and nursed back to health by a very special person.
特里
Hey, Terry.
特瑞 你特么怎么在这儿
Teri with an "I"? What the heck are you doing here?
我现在是凡波的科学合作伙伴
I'm Vanbo's science partner now.
而且我已经不叫特瑞了
And my name's not Teri with an "I" anymore.
我叫凡碧 也带有"王"字
Mm-mm, it's Vanbi, also spelled with an "I."
操 真酷
Fuck, that's so cool.
我们为了找你们俩搜遍了整个银河系
We've been searching the galaxy for you two.
我知道你们用时间杖在什洛普星上攻击了我
I know you guys attacked me with your time stick on Shlorp.
我们 我们不知道你在说什么
We, uh, we-we don't know what you're talking about.
我有重要消息告诉你们
I have some important news to tell you.
什洛普从来没爆♥炸♥
Shlorp never blew up!
什么
What?
我是来带你们回去的 好让你们接受审判
And I've come to take both of you back so you can be tried
然后因为在没有执照的情况下使用溯物杖
and executed for using a Retouch-Your-Stuff-Alizer
而被处决
without a license!
-什么 -特里 科尔沃
- What? - Terry, Korvo.
我杀了雅姆莱克 把他的身体变成了游戏盒子
I killed Yumyulack and turned his body into a Game Boy cartridge.
-他永远地走了 -什么
- He's gone forever. - What?
还有件事 在我们都离开后
Oh, and one more thing. After we all leave,
我要炸了这个傻♥逼♥地球
I'm gonna blow up this stupid fucking Earth planet
因为这是凡波的作风
just because that's how Vanbo do.
这不可能是真的
This can't be happening!
为什么 为什么会这样
Why, why is this happening.
等等 她说得对
Wait! She's right.
-这不可能是真的 -可是是真的
- This can't be happening. - But it is.
难道你不觉得有太多疯狂事件同时发生吗
Doesn't it seem like too many big crazy events all at once?
生活不是那样的
I mean, that-that's not how life works, man.
不不不 这感觉不真实
No, no, no. This doesn't feel real.
这家伙疯了 大家集♥合♥
Ooh, this guy's lost it. Everybody gather around.
-我们来欣赏他屁滚尿流 -你还不明白吗
- Let's watch him shit his pants. - Don't you see?
时间旅行 死亡雅姆莱克 什洛普星没有爆♥炸♥
The time travelling, dead Yumyulack, Shlorp didn't explode.
拜托 这太多事了
I mean, come on. That's like-- it's so much stuff.
好好想想 这实在太多了
Think about it. That's, like, way too much.
如果你有份清单的话 这太多了
If you had a list, it's too much!
-确实有点不自然 -对吧
- It is sort of contrived. - Right?
我们要怎么确定我们不在《黑客帝国》里
I mean, how are we sure that we're not in a The Matrix?
或者《黑客帝国2：重装上阵》里
or a Matrix Reloaded?
因为如果在的话 就会有绿色数字漂浮在空中
Because there would be green numbers floating around
-以及皮制墨镜 -肯定有原因
- and leather sunglasses. - Well, it's gotta be something.
我能搞清楚
Okay, and I can figure this out.
我们可能处于的情况《感官游戏》
I mean, we could be in an eXistenZ-type sitch.
够了 上周你就认为我们是处于《感官游戏》的情况
Stop it! Last week, you thought we were in an eXistenZ
因为汽车餐厅多给了我们一份薯条
because the drive-thru gave us an extra order of fries.
不可能你每次惊慌失措我们就是在《感官游戏》里
We can't be in an eXistenZ every time you're freaking out.
是吗 你懂完了 你是说
Oh, really, smart guy? You're telling me
我们有可以随时使用的时间旅行鞋子
we have time travelling shoes that we can use whenever we want?
你总是想了解噗噗
You're always wanting to know stuff about the Pupa.
你为什么没用那些鞋呢
Why haven't you been using those shoes, man?
你为什么没用那些鞋
Why haven't you been using the shoes?
肯定有合理的解释
I-I-I'm sure there's a logical explanation for that.
并没有 好吗 闭嘴
No, there isn't, okay? Shut the fuck up.
我们肯定是在一个操蛋的
We've gotta be in some fucked up
《末世纪暴潮》《变形博士》《割草者》
Strange Days Altered States Lawnmower Man
《霍顿与无名氏》情境里
Horton Hears a Who thing.
-也许我们在《电子世界争霸战》里 -别怂恿他
- Maybe we're in a Tron. - Don't egg him on.
-这不是《电子世界争霸战》 -也许我们是在梦里
- This isn't a Tron. - Ooh, maybe we're in a dream.
你终于醒悟了
Now you're talking.
我敢打赌我们都在某个疯狂的《魔域煞星》风的
I mean, I-I-I-I bet we're all in some kind of crazy Dreamscape style
《盗梦空间》《美梦成真》
Inception What Dreams May Come
《约瑟夫的神奇彩衣》的梦里
Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat dream.
不可能 没人能把科尔沃困在梦里
That's impossible. Nobody traps Korvo in a dream.
我们在谁的梦里 醒醒 醒醒
Whose dream are we in, huh? Wake up, wake up.
住手 停下
Stop that, cut it out!
-你必须醒来 -别碰我 凡波
- You have to wake up. - Don't touch me, Vanbo.
-住手 -醒醒
- Stop it. - Wake up.
醒醒 科尔沃 快 你能做到
Wake up, Korvo, come on. You can do it.
别说了 科尔沃 醒醒
Stop sleeping, Korvo. Wake up!