外星也难民

你好啊 小东西
Oh, hello, little one.
想来点生锈罐头里的过期饼干吗
Would you like a stale cookie from a rusty tin?
我这是在哪 我死了吗
Where am I? Are we dead?
下午好 洛瑞妮
Good afternoon, Lorraine.
我知道这些年里你失去了很多
I know that you've lost many things over the years.
你的子女搬走了 你的丈夫离世了
Your children moved away. Your husband is gone.
甚至你的朋友们也离开了人间
Even your friends have died.
如今你只剩下自身的记忆
All you have left are your memories.
你的机会来了 洛瑞妮
This is your chance, Lorraine.
我能进入你的大脑 为你展示过去的经历
I can access your mind and show you anything you've ever seen.
有哪些事情 是已经离你远去的
Is there something you've lost that you can't remember
需要我来帮你回忆起来的呢
which I can give you?
我记不起来我母亲的长相了
I can't remember the face of my mother.
我就希望我能再见她最后一面
I just wish I could see her one last time.
大家都好放松 即便他们知道之后会爆♥炸♥
Everyone is so relaxed even though they're about to explode.
真是高等社会的标志 除了恐慌区里的人
Truly the mark of an advanced society. Except for the panic zones.
我决定听天由命了
I have resigned myself to death,
但我走了之后仍会怀念我的朋友和家人
although I will miss my friends and family when I'm gone.
这种家伙可太丢人了
Oof, that guy's embarrassing himself.
我们就快到太空港了
Hey, we're almost at the space port.
我们只需要把它敲进舱门 就大功告成了
We just need to smack this bad boy into the hatch and we'll be done.
你能行的
You got this, boy!
该死
Damn it!
任务完成 我们快回去吧
Hey, mission accomplished. Now let's get back.
我要接着在Hulu Vizu上看剧了
I gotta watch some more Hulu Vizu.
总算有了点关于噗噗的答案 好吧
Finally, some answers about the Pupa. All right,
如果你的噗噗变成了橘色
If your Pupa turns orange,
那是因为它吃掉了什么橘色的东西
it means it ate something orange.
我确实喂过一袋混合版的多力多滋与奇多
Well, I did feed it a bag of Doritos Cheetos party blast.
你还记得吗 去年有一次
You know, the same stuff that turned me orange
我也吃完它也变成橘色的了
when I ate it last year.
这下放心了 我们不会被噗噗给吞噬掉
This is a relief. We aren't going to get consumed by the Pupa,
至少今天不会了 并且我们改变了历史
at least not today, and we changed the past without creating
也没导致任何的蝴蝶效应 真是一记暴扣
a single unintended butterfly effect. So we really slam dunked it.
-瞧瞧我们 简直是球星了 -篮球明星
- Look at us, we're ballers. - We are ballers, ho ho.
嘿 基佬们
Hey, futtbuckers!
时代啤酒喝完了
We're outta Stella.
你们打算谁去 补充下库存
Is somebody gonna go, uh, replenish?
等等 什么 你♥他♥妈♥的是谁啊
Wait, what? Who the fuck are you?
我的妈呀 家里有个外星人
Holy shit, there's an alien in our house!
少开玩笑了 你们俩还有家务要做
Quit jerking around. You two have chores to do.
快帮我把背心和无指手套都整理好
Help me organize all my vests and fingerless gloves.
你不是说所有人都炸死了吗
I thought you said everyone got exploded.
你到底是哪根葱 在我们家里干什么
Who are you and what are you doing in our house?
你们说什么呢 我是凡波
What are you talking about? I'm Vanbo.
我们一起从什洛普星逃出来的呀 记得吗
We escaped Shlorp together, remember?
凡波 我念得对吗 凡波
Vanbo? Am I saying that right? Vanbo?
科尔沃
Whoa, Korvo!
你胖了好多啊
You really put on the pounds, pal.
你看着像蓝色史瑞克似的
You're lookin' like a blue Shrek.
你的驴子去哪了 蓝史瑞克
Where's your donkey at, blue Shrek?
对了特里 我把你的PS4弄坏了
Oh, and Terry, I broke your PS4
因为我试着用它做披萨来着
because I tried to cook a little pizza in it.
那可是我刚跟女巫那换来的 你这个混
Hey, I just got that from a witch. You son of a-- aah!
这到底是什么情况
Okay, what the shit is going on?
我们肯定是无意间改变了过去的某件事
We must have inadvertently changed something in the past,
导致现在来到了一个黑暗 异常的时间线
resulting in us now being in a dark, deviant time stream.
显然其中一个结果就是
One of the results being that
凡波加入了我们的任务
Vanbo apparently joined us on our mission
然后就一直跟我们在这住下去了
and has been living with us this whole time.
我可受不了跟这种一眼便知的人住在一起
Hey, man, I-I-I can't live with a dude this basic.
我打赌他有个犯罪播客 他就是罪犯
I bet he has a true crime podcast. Like he does one.
收听犯罪播客 没问题 亲自动手那就...
Listening, cool. Doing one, yee-hee.
我们必须回到过去 撤销对钱包的变动
We have to go back to the past and undo the wallet change,
那样应该能让我们回到正确的实现线上
which should return us to the correct time stream.
就能甩掉凡波了
And that'll get rid of Vanbo?
在之前的时间线 凡波肯定死在什洛普了
In the previous time stream, Vanbo surely died on Shlorp.
所以说 是的 但完全不是为了摆脱凡波
So yes, but this isn't about Vanbo.
只是为了修正时间线
This is about fixing the time stream.
对对 时间线是重点
Yeah, yeah, the time stream is the priority,
但你确定凡波会死吧
but you're sure Vanbo will die?
是的 尸体都会被小行星撞得气化了
Yes, his body will be vaporized by the asteroid.
-我们简直是英雄 -特里 到厨房♥来
- We're-we're heroes. - Terry, get in the kitchen
给我做个瘦猪肉三明治
and make me a lean pork sandwich!
快点 我们走
Quick, come on, go, let's go.
那是我们的溯物杖
There's our stick.
现在我们只需要再把钱包打出去
Now all we have to do is hit the wallet back out.
这应该能抵消对时间线的影响了
That should undo the changes to the time stream.
-我们是英雄 -完完全全是英雄
- We're heroes. - Total heroes.
杰茜 跟我讲讲你今天的事 或者任何事
So, Jesse, tell me about your day, or something?
-真的吗 -嗯
- Really? - Mm, yes.
-好吧 我发现劳伦斯开始 -谁在乎啊
- Well, I found out Lawrence started-- - Who cares?
我的天 你这是来姨妈了还是怎么了
Jeez Louise, are you on your zeriod or something?
是的 但跟那没关系
Yeah, but it has nothing to do with it.
我只想不刻意争取也能让你喜欢我
I just want you to like me without earning it.
我想要无条件的喜欢
I want unconditional like.
等下 你在乎我是否喜欢你 这可真暖心
Wait, you care if I like you? That is so sweet.
不 我只是 只是想确保你不会
No, I just, I just, I don't want to worry about you
在我惹你讨厌时 从背后用科幻枪射我
zapping me in the back with a crazy sci-fi gun when I piss you off.
你在说什么啊
What are you even talking about?
我不知道 去你的
Ah, I don't know! Fuck you!
你可真是戏精
Uh, phone call for drama queen!
凡波 这里有叫凡波的吗
Vanbo? Is there anyone named Vanbo here?
-我在找凡波 -啥 没有
- Looking for a Vanbo. - What? No.
-好好好 -太好了
- Yes, yes, yes, all right. - Yeah! Yeah-yee!
他出去跑腿了
He's out running an errand.
凡波回来喽
Hey-o, Vanbo's back!
好消息 我用制金机换来了
Great news. I traded the gold-making machine
这些超贵的老鼠
for these expensive rats.
看见没 它们这就爱上你们了
See? They love you already.
看看 亲亲它们
Check it out. Give 'em a little kiss.
滚蛋
Fuck you.
我们只有弄明白凡波是怎么躲过星球毁灭的
We can't go back to the present until we figure out
才能回到现在
how the hell Vanbo keeps surviving planetary destruction.
我都不记得和这人一起生活过
I, I don't even remember living with the guy.
谁知道时间旅行这么复杂
Man, who thought time travel would be so convoluted?
时间旅行应该是简洁和线性的 这不是我的错
Time travel should be clear and linear. This isn't my fault.
也不是我的错
Well, it's not my fault.
你看 是过去的我们的第一次见面
Oh, look, hey, it's the past us meeting for the first time.
瞧瞧
Aw, look at that.
很高兴能与你一起执行本次任务
I am pleased to embark on this mission with you.
我猜你热爱科学并且信奉逻辑
I assume you love science and worship at the altar of logic.
那是 科学最牛逼
Hell yeah. Science rules.
我超爱科学 我是一个噗噗专家
I love that stuff and I'm a Pupa expert.
我对噗噗了如指掌
I know everything about the Pupa.
特里 你跟着过去的我 我跟着过去的你
Terry, you follow past me, and I will follow past you.
不行 我想跟着过去的我
No, I wanna follow past me.
特里 因为我们两个都不记得见到过凡波
Terry, since neither of us remember meeting Vanbo,
我们都必须成为彼此的外界观测者
we must both be outside observers for the other.
-我们在太空港见 -好
- I will see you at the space port. - All right, sounds good.
我又变年轻了
I'm young again.
宝贝 你能帮我拿一下这些从小猪扭扭超♥市♥买♥♥的杂货吗
Honey, can you help me unload these groceries from the Piggly Wiggly?
妈妈 你太美了
Mama, you're so beautiful.
你嘴真甜
Aw, that's a nice thing to say.
我好想你
I've missed you so much.
来 和我一起奔跑
Come, run with me.
我亲爱的妈妈 现在我记起来她的样子了
Oh, my sweet mother. Now that I remember her face,
我在天堂里就能找到她了
I'll be able to find her when I'm in heaven.
我现在就算死也可以瞑目了
I can die now knowing that everything will be okay.
谢谢你 我一定有什么办法能报答你
Oh, thank you. There has to be some way I can repay you for this.