外星也难民

Solar Opposites S01E04

Part 4 July 8, 2020, 12:05 p.m.

because of the sci-fi goo the blades emit.
无聊
Lame.
但就安全来说用飞镖什么的不是更好吗
But wouldn't it be safer to use, like, a dart or something?
你想用飞镖好呀
You want to use a dart? Okay, yeah.
那你去用飞镖吧这可比飞镖酷多了
Go ahead, use a dart. This is way cooler than a dart.
让我们去捅些小孩来救他们的命吧
Let's go stab some kids and save some lives.
谢谢你
Thank you.
吃我一招
Oh, eat it!
-爽 -谢了老兄
- Yes! - Thanks, man.
抱歉我在救你们不用谢我我爱你们
I'm sorry, I'm healing you. You're welcome, I love you.
谢谢
Wow, thanks.
别担心他们什么都不会记得
Don't worry, they won't remember any of this.
但他们会记住我这么酷炫的对吗
But they're gonna remember I'm cool, right?
不他们能记起你原来不酷就不错了
No, at best, they'll remember that you aren't.
-谢了兄弟 -不客气
- Oh, thanks, man. - Yeah, no problem.
-你来干什么 -来和我的兄弟坐在一起
- Whoa, dude, what are you doing? - Sitting with my party buds.
-昨晚可太疯狂了对吧 -老弟
- Last night was crazy, right? - Bro.
这桌是苹果无线耳机用户专用
This table's for air podders only.
我也能换成蓝牙耳机
I could turn into a pod.
没用的这个位置已经被耳机占了
No way, man. Pod save this seat for someone else.
抱歉美味小熊斯塔茜们也这么对我
Sorry, Yummy Bear. Same thing happened to me with the Stacis.
她们让平胸的我滚回墨西哥星去
They told me to take my flat ass back to Planet Mexico.
每个又棒又酷的人都是那么的混♥蛋♥
Everyone who's awesome and cool is such a jerk.
我也一直挺混♥蛋♥的但我怎么混得这么差
I'm a jerk all the time, but it never gets me anywhere.
我们听说你们昨晚去了那个疯狂的派对
Hey, uh, we heard you guys were at that crazy party last night.
你听谁说的疯狂没有人被刀捅啊
Who said it was crazy? No one got stabbed.
不不不不我们从没去过那种派对
Oh, no, no, no. We haven't been to any of those parties.
我们只想听你们说说
We just want to hear about it.
一开始我们都在巴恩的家里
So first, we were all hanging out at Barn's house.
-在谷仓里吗 -不是是库珀·巴恩的家里
- Was it in a real barn? - No, it was Cooper Barn's house.
显然酷小孩们互相以姓氏称呼
Apparently, cool kids call each other by their last name.
寄往非洲肯尼亚
起床了小贱♥人♥ 我们是时候来谈谈了
Wake up, you little slut. It's time me and you had it out.
什么
What the?
不不不不不不不
No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
这就是个普通的疙瘩
This is a regular goob--
特里你看到我的网球拍了吗
Terry, have you seen my tennis racket?
我注意到那些
I've noticed that women
打网球的女性都比较强势
who play tennis are particularly dominant.
我可能有机会找到一位更独断的伴侣
I have a better chance of finding an assertive mate while--
-红色疙瘩小人哪去了 -我把他杀了
- What, where is the red goobler? - I killed him.
-我去特里真够冷血的 -嗯
- Damn, Terry, that's cold. - Yeah.
我只是我知道他只要活着
I just, um, I knew as long as he was alive,
你就总会担心他有没有逃跑
you would always worry about him escaping,
我想让你过得没那么多压力
and I wanted you to have, just, less stress in your life.
我太在乎你了所以我就把他给剁了
I care about you, man. So I chopped up his body
拿去喂了猪然后把猪射向了太空
and I fed it to the pigs, and I shot the pigs into space.
所以不用担心那些猪很安全并没有
So don't worry, those pigs are safe. No, they're not.
这真是别人对我做过最好的事情了
That is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
谢谢你特里
Thank you, Terry.
我感觉好放松我洗了个澡
Oh, I feel so relaxed. I took a bath.
单纯泡着屌♥都没有洗
Just a soak. Didn't even wash my junk.
没人再追杀我了这感觉太好了特里
Nobody's hunting me anymore and it feels good, Terry.
-这才像话 -对感觉不错晚安
- It feels right. - Uh, yep, feels great. Good night.
现在我可以享受安全无忧的优质睡眠了
Ah, I will now enjoy the stress-free sleep of safety,
知道外面没人在谋划取我性命
knowing that no one out there is playing the long game
等待着我放下防备这些都没有了
waiting for me to drop my guard, or-or anything like that.
科尔沃死亡计划