外星也难民

You just can't be the kicker because we already went
让最高法庭通过 狗能做踢球手
to the state supreme court so a dog could be kicker.
漂亮 丹佛 好样的 好样的
Damn, Denver! Good boy, good boy.
你可以做首发四分卫 怎么样
You can be our starting quarterback. How about that?
迪伦 这个我没见过她上场的女孩要替你的位置
Hey, Dylan! This girl who I haven't seen play yet is taking your place.
没问题 胜负没什么的
I'm fine with that. It's not about winning. Woo!
找女性遇到的麻烦才是真的麻烦
Ugh, finding a new struggle for women is gonna be a real struggle.
你有没有感受到"南银窝"的洪大幸福啊
Hm, has the awesomeness of the "manc ave" washed over you yet?
我觉得没有
Um, I don't think so.
可能幸福已经降临了 但我们无知无觉
Maybe it happened and we just didn't notice yet?
不 这不对劲 缺了点什么 特里
No, this is wrong. Something's missing, Terry.
肯定有点凯文的"窝"里的东西我们没有
There has to be something Kevin had in his "ave" that we don't have.
不不 我知道 我们有男人至上的电影海报
No, no, I know. I mean, we have very man-centric movie posters
有像《男孩不哭》《潇洒有情天》《十日拍拖手册》
with man themes like Boys Don't Cry, Boys On The Side,
这种男性主题
How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days.
特里 来一个凯文"南银窝"的全息实时监控
Terry, pull up a live hologram feed of Kevin's "manc ave."
我不懂 这完全一模一样啊
See, I don't get it. It's exactly the same.
计算机 分♥析♥氮气水平和
Computer, analyze nitrogen levels and--
你能不能过来看着你儿子吹蜡烛
Can you please come watch your son blow out his candles?
大家都在等着呢
Everyone's waiting.
他有整整一年都是三岁呢
Oh, he'll be three for like a whole year.
-凯文 -哪种蛋糕啊
- Kevin. - What kind of cake?
-凯文 -好吧
- Kevin! - All right!
老天 我真讨厌这个男人窝
God, I hate this man cave.
电脑 只保留安吉拉
Computer, strip everything but Angela.
他把时间都花在这个堆满玩具的蠢窝里
He spends all of his time in his stupid room full of toys
不陪陪家人
instead of with his family.
我该嫁给欧姆瑞的
I should have married Omry.
特里 我们完全没抓住"南银窝"的重点
Terry, we were totally missing the point of "manc aves."
是需要开更多的生日派对吗
Oh, that we need to throw way more birthday parties?
"南银窝"最妙的一点是 特里
The best part of being in a "manc ave," Terry,
有人讨厌你待在"南银窝"里
is someone being irritated that you're in a "manc ave."
-但我不想轮着干这事 -我也不想
- But I don't wanna take turns in here. - Neither do I.
这意味着我们得
Which means we'll have to
造一个机器人来讨厌我们在"南银窝"里待着
build a robot that hates us being in the "manc ave."
-万岁 -特里
- Yeah! - Terry!
那个"我们"指的是你自己 对吧
By "we," you mean you, right?
是 都包在我身上
Yes, I'm going to be doing all the work.
我只是想听起来友善些
I was just trying to be nice.
看 我们的新机器人
Behold, our new robot.
-动作真快 -我用了很多
- Wow, that was fast. - I used a lot of parts
上个机器人的零件
from the last robot I made.
那个用来杀掉
The one that was supposed to
向你扔了杯尿的小孩的机器人吗
kill those kids who threw a cup of pee at you?
-你翻篇了 -暂时翻篇了
- You got over that? - For the moment,
先不取他们的小命
they may keep their lives.
我得说 听我说一句
Well, I tell you what, here's the headline.
看起来棒极了 你用没用我给你的标准
It looks great. Now did you use the specs I gave you
让她成为所有电视节目里妻子和母亲的完美综合体
to make her the perfect combo of every TV wife/mom?
是 她有百分之二十是雷蒙德着恼的妻子
Yes, she's 20 percent annoyed wife from Raymond,
《人人都爱雷蒙德》 美国CBS的一部情景喜剧
百分之二十是《摩登家庭》里溺爱孩子的性感母亲
twenty percent doting hot mom from Modern Family,
百分之十五是《奇异果女孩》里语速很快的妈妈
fifteen percent fast-talking Gilmore Girls mom
百分之十是马姬·辛普森 因为她有蓝色头发
and ten percent Marge Simpson because she's got blue hair.
-是不是超过百分百了 -不 其实还不到
- Is that too many percents? - No, it's, it's under actually.
剩下的都是填充码
The rest is just filler code,
除了还有一点点《黄金女郎》里的索菲亚
except for a pinch of Sophia from Golden Girls.
那是个厚颜无♥耻♥的老太婆 我抵抗不了这种魅力
That was one sassy old lady, you know? I couldn't resist.
二十五 八十三
Twenty-five, eignty-three...
你在向三岁小孩一样用突触数数吗
Are you using your abaca-dactals like a baby?
-怎么 你八十岁了吗 -我得从头再来了
- What, what are you, 80? - Ah, now I have to start over.
我称她为 帕 秋 莎
I call her P-A-T-R-I-C-I-A.
是帕秋莎自动化电视角色改装
It stands for Patricia Automated Television Retro-fitted
智能伴侣在行动的简称
Intelligent Companion In Action.
你猜怎么着 即使这是编出来的也没关系
You know what, it's okay if you made that up to fit.
你选了一个有两个I和两个A的名字 太难编了
You chose a name with two I's and two A's. That's already hard.
重要的不是帕秋莎代表了什么
The important thing is not what PATRICIA stands for
而是她的设定是厌恶"南银窝"
but that she's programmed to hate the "manc ave."
科尔沃 特里
Korvo, Terry.
噗噗 希望你不打算在你们糟心又恶心的
Pupa! I hope you don't plan to spend all day
"南银窝"里泡一天 我们有家务要做
in your awful, disgusting "manc ave." We have chores to do.
-迪吉里杜管为什么这么贵 -什么
- Why are didgeridoos so expensive? - What, what?
五千美元 就是根管子 我还是要买♥♥
Five thousand dollars. It's a tube! Still buying it.
你们是造了个女机器人吗
Did you guys make a woman robot?
是啊 棒极了 对吧
Oh, yeah, awesome, right?
我们造她来厌恶"南银窝"
Yeah, we built her to hate the "manc ave".
看看她多棒 看看她 看看她啊
I mean, look at how awesome she is. Look at her, look at her go.
-她厌恶得如此完美 -不 不 不
- She's hatin' it perfect. - No, no, no.
你们涉及性别歧视了
You guys are wading into a whole gender thing.
我告诉你们 这对谁都没好处
I'm telling you, this can't end well for anybody.
我要走了 祝好
I'm outta here. G'day.
-这不是性别歧视 -我说了祝好
- This isn't a gender thing-- - I said g'day!
不管是什么问题
No matter what the problem is,
她找到责怪"南银窝"的理由了
she finds a way to blame the "manc ave."
就像个真正的老婆那样
Just, just like a real wife.
我他妈恨死这个"南银窝"了
I fucking hate this "manc ave".
她搞得我好想进去啊
Oh, she makes me wanna go in there so bad!
太好了 成功了
Ah, yeah! Oh, ho, ho, it worked!
大家好 我 一个女孩
Hi, guys. I, a girl,
想加入你们男子曲棍球队
would like to be on your men's lacrosse team.
并且我对曲棍球一无所知
I also know nothing about lacrosse.
-你听到她说的了吗 -我听到了 哥们
- Ha ha, did you hear that? - Oh, I heard it, Chad.
但我不敢相信 你再说一遍 姑娘
But I don't believe it. Say it again, girl.
曲棍球不再是法语里"约会强♥暴♥"的意思了
Lacrosse is French for "date rape" no longer.
我要求加入你们男队 有问题吗
I demand to be on your boys' team. What's the problem?
无法容忍♥一个女孩涉足你们"男孩独享"领域吗
Can't stand a girl trying to step on your "boys only" field?
不 我们请求女孩加入我们队很多年了
No, we've been asking for a girl to join our team for years.
这下橄榄球队的家伙们终于不会再嘲笑我们了
Oh, the football guys will finally stop mocking us.
别啊 拜托 这得是一次挣扎
No, come on, I need this to be a struggle.
兄弟们 我们队有女孩了
Chads, we got a girl on the team!
住手
Hey, stop.
全体注意 电竞队 我知道游戏玩家仇女
Attention, esports team. I know that gamers are misogynistic,
因此游戏里所有女性身材比例失实
and that's why all female bodies in games have unrealistic proportions
被设计与玩家进行荒淫无度的眼神接触
and are programmed to give the gamer an unhealthy amount of eye contact.
-让我加入 -耶 又一个女孩
- Let me in. - Yeah, another girl!
等等 我是这里唯一一个男的吗 不是吧
Wait, am I the only guy in here? Oh, no.
我一直在用一些非常隐晦的语言
I've been using some very coded language.
澳大利亚音乐真棒 简直自成流派
Australian music is so good. It's like a whole genre.
《工作男乐队 南方大♥陆♥ 街头音乐》
你们眼前的是镇上第一位女消防队员
You're looking at this town's first female firefighter.
我找到了我的玻璃屋顶 把它打碎了
I found my glass ceiling and fucking shattered it,
救了将近一家人
and saved most of a family.
我是第一个直男式指导爵士乐的女人
Well, I'm the first woman to mansplain jazz.
不过就是切分音罢了
It's, like, all about syncopation.
还好吧 我可是救了将近一家人
That's great and all, but I saved most of a family.
你为什么一直说"将近一家人"
Why do you keep saying "most of a family"?
因为这听上去比只救了两条狗好些
Because it sounds better than just the two dogs.
雅姆莱克 过来
Oh, Yumyulack, come here.
如果我不能尽快找到一个玻璃屋顶打碎
If I can't find a glass ceiling to break soon,
它们就都要被别人打碎了 那到时我就会失败
they're all gonna get broken without me, and then I'm gonna fail,
他们就会把我放进B教室的傻孩子班
and then they're gonna put me in the dumb kid's class in room B.
B教室多棒啊 我们可以整天画画
Room B is awesome. We get to do art all day.
别再告诉我这些了
And stop telling me things.
我已经说了我不会再碰性别话题了
I already said I wasn't touching gender stuff.
我只是没主意了
I'm just out of ideas.
你知道我没主意时会做什么吗
You know what I do when I'm out of ideas?
可♥卡♥因♥ 然后成千上万的主意就会涌出来
Cocaine. And then I get like, a million ideas at once.
有了 会飞的内♥裤♥也是狗
Ooh, ooh, I got it. Pants that fly but are also dogs.
我也爱吃可♥卡♥因♥ 不过这不是违法的吗
Well, I do love cocaine, but isn't it illegal?
所有有趣的事都违法
Everything cool is illegal!
再说我们吃可♥卡♥因♥不会出事
Besides, cocaine is okay for us to eat
因为我们外星人的身体处理方式不一样