无能为力（2017）

Well, I wouldn't bring Teddy
因为他太瘦小了 抓住或吃掉都不行
because he's too frail to catch or be food.
我绝不会带上你的 温蒂
Well, I would never bring you, Wendy.
顺带说一句 我最近在练股四头肌
And by the way, I have been blasting my quads lately,
它们充满了精益蛋白质
and they are a healthy dose of lean protein.
-杰姬 摸摸大腿 -不要
- Jackie, feel my thigh. - No.
-摸大腿 -不要
- Feel the thigh! - No!
我说过了 你们这群傻瓜我谁也不想吃
I told you, I don't want to eat any of you idiots.
我只想一个人死
I just want to die alone.
幸运的是 这肯定会发...
Well, luckily for you, that is definitely going to hap...
如果你还想活 别说完那句话
Don't finish that sentence if you want to live.
好了 大家
Okay, guys,
我认为我们偏离了游戏的重点
I think we're missing the point of the game.
你们应该说些正面[确信]的东西
You're supposed to say something positive.
我很确信泰迪没法叉鱼
Well, I'm positive that Teddy couldn't spear a fish
救活自己
to save his life.
我当然不行
The hell I can't.
我赌50块你力气不够把这只提基火炬
I bet you 50 bucks you can't throw this tiki torch
砸倒那个垃圾桶
hard enough to knock over that trash can.
再说一遍 游戏不是这么玩的
Again, not the game.
-来吧 -好
- You're on. - Yeah!
我要加入这局
Oh, I'm going in on this action.
我的老天爷
Oh, God.
好 给我点空间 给我点空间
All right, give me some room. Give me some room, give me some room.
好了好了
All right, all right, all right.
来了
Here we go.
于是就这样了
So, that happened...
气体泄漏
Gas breach.
跟我来
Follow me!
气体泄漏
Gas breach.
气体泄漏
Gas breach.
气体泄漏
Gas breach.
好主意 温蒂
Good thinking, Wendy.
好了 我们所有人都应该戴上防毒面具
Okay, we should all get the gas masks.
它们在外面
Oh, they're out there.
什么 在哪
What? Where?
那你为什么带我们进来这里
Why did you bring us in here, then?
因为这里有所有我们需要的东西
Uh, because it has everything we need.
一台粒子加速器 一台量子场合成器
A particle accelerator, a quantum field synthesizer,
还有一个可以用来上厕所的桶
and a bucket where we can go to the bathroom.
但没有食物或水
But there's no food or water.
有你超爱的唱K机器
Well, there's that karaoke machine you love so much.
-好棒 -它坏了
- Oh, goody! - Ah, it's broken.
不 它就在...
No, it's right...
我改主意了
I changed my mind.
荒岛游戏我会选泰迪
I'm picking Teddy for that desert island thing.
看看 可能杰姬是我的好兄弟
Oh, look at that! Maybe Jackie's my boy.
你怎么敢这么说 叛徒
How dare you! Traitor!
好了好了 我们有些紧张
Okay, okay, we are a little stressed.
如果我们能拿到防毒面具
Now, if we can get the gas masks,
拿到补给 去一个安全的地方 然后...
we can get supplies, and somewhere safe, and...
谁往桶里尿尿了
Who went in the bucket?
你给我喝了四杯火山 我只是个常人
You gave me four volcanoes. I'm only a man.
好吧
All right.
没什么大不了的
It's not a big deal.
我们有一个人去拿防护衣
One of us will go get the hazmat suit,
拿上防毒面具 然后回来
grab the gas masks, and come back.
防护衣去哪了
Where are the hazmat suits?
出游第一晚你计划了一个换装派对
Well, you planned a costume party the first night of the retreat,
所以多萝西和兰迪扮演了沃尔特·怀特和杰西·平客曼
so Dorothy and Randy went as Walter White and Jesse Pinkman.
《绝命毒师》主角
我们能关注重点吗
Can we focus?
我们只需要有个人屏住呼吸
We just need someone to hold their breath,
出去那里 拿回面具
and go out there, and get the masks.
不知道毒气会对我的皮肤有什么影响
We don't know what that gas will do to my skin,
或是我的白色亚麻西装
or my white linen suit.
我不能去
Well, I shouldn't go.
我有点野路子
I'm a bit of a wildcard.
你们不能相信我会在外面做出什么事
You can't trust what I'll do out there.
对 我们都同意
Yeah, and we've already established
我在求生情境下一无是处 所以...
that I'm totally useless in a survival situation, so...
好吧 没关系 因为对我来说
Okay, well, that's fine because I am perfectly happy
待在这里孤独地死去完全没问题
staying here and dying alone.
请结账
Check, please.
于是这就发生了
So that happened.
等等 我已经说过"于是这就发生了"
Wait, I already said, "So that happened."
诺亚是负责搞笑的
Uh, Noah's more of the joke guy...
我写走心部分
I write the heart moments.
不管怎样 他陷在外面的毒气里了
Anyway, he got stuck out in the gas.
搞笑男死了
The joke guy's dead?
哟哟哟
Ah, well, well, well.
看来搞笑司机凡没油了
Looks like the joke van's running on empty.
完了蛋了
Ruh-roh.
该死
Damn it.
惨了
Ruh-roh?
伙计们
Guys...
艾米丽哪去了
where's Emily?
我还需要一顶头盔
I just need a helmet.
我戴的这不是尿桶吧
This isn't the bathroom bucket, is it?
不 是另一个桶
No, it's another bucket.
干得好
Good save.
我要怎么把这些面罩拿下来
How do I get these masks down?
等一下 泰迪在看说明书
Hold on. Teddy's checking the manual.
好吧 这本说明书乱七八糟
Okay, this manual is a mess.
这鬼东西谁写的 约翰·格里沙姆
Who wrote this abomination? John Grisham?
你连约翰·格里沙姆都骂了啊
Oh, not even John Grisham is safe from your wrath, now?
这就是为什么我不选你一起上荒岛
This is why you're not on my desert island.
告诉你 我根本不想和你呆在一座岛上
You know what, I wouldn't wanna be on a island with you,
简直是《鹅塘暗♥杀♥令》
"The Pelican Brief",
还有你假惺惺的乐观态度
and your phony positive attitude.
你们能不能别吵了 专心点
Guys, can you stop bickering for one second and focus?
我要缺氧了
I'm running out of oxygen,
而且我很确定这是尿桶
and I'm pretty sure this is the bathroom bucket.
是的 完毕
It is. Over.
你们真心帮不上忙
You guys are useless.
我拿到它们了
I got 'em!
棒
Yes!
我是负责搞笑的
I'm the funny one!
我会跟那家伙搭档的唯一原因
I'm only partners with that hack
是他让我住在他妈妈的地下室里
because he lets me live in his mother's basement.
她做的三明治好好吃
Her sandwiches are delicious.
艾米丽 艾米丽 无论如何都别...
Emily, Emily! Okay, whatever you do, don't...
...吸气
...breathe in.
艾米丽 亲爱的
Emily, honey?
你还好吗 亲爱的
Are you okay, sweetie?
我还好吗
Am I okay?
你真好心啊
How nice of you to ask.
她没事了
Oh, she's fine, guys.
我在这工作了这么久
Because in all the time I've worked here,
你们这些自私鬼
not one of you selfish bastards
从没关心过我的感受
have expressed any interest in how I feel.
我就像个鸟妈妈 往你们嘴里吐吃的
I am like the mother bird who vomits into your mouths
让你们活下去 可我得到了什么
to keep you alive, and what do I get back?
抱怨 牢骚 不满
Bitching, whining, moaning.
我只想唱一小会儿卡拉OK
When all I wanted was to sing a little karaoke,
穿那些可爱的 写着你们想法的T恤
and to wear cute and thoughtful matching t-shirts!
如果你们就是那么傲气不想配合
Well, if you're too cool to match,
那也就别戴防毒面具
then you're too cool for matching gas masks.
-不 -别别别
- No! - No, no, no, no!
我收回我之前的判断
I'd like to recant my earlier assessment.
这可能是某种愤怒毒气
I feel like it's some kind of anger gas.