无能为力（2017）

So those are just a couple of the products
给亚特兰蒂斯提供安全保障的产品
we think could really help make Atlantis safe,
你们就不用一直依赖海王的保护了
so you don't always have to rely on Aquaman to protect you.
确实有很多值得考虑的
You've given us a lot to think about.
我们会在几周后给你们答复
We'll give you an answer in a couple of weeks.
我们要回去准备"沉海日"了
We need to head home for Sinking Day.
好的 真的很高兴见到你们
Well, it has been an absolute pleasure meeting you.
如果你们有任何疑问
If you have any questions at all,
可以直接给我发邮件
you can email me directly.
我喜欢"沉海日"
I love Sinking Day.
我每年都庆祝 沉海各种嗨
I celebrate it every year. I got to get my sink on.
你也庆祝"沉海日"
You celebrate Sinking Day?
对的 我会举办盛大的派对
Yes! I throw a huge party.
我的派对很出名 海王也会来
I'm famous for it. Aquaman drops by.
-总之 这有些材料 -你认识海王
- Anyways, here are some mater-- - You know Aquaman?
我们是关系很近的朋友
We are very close personal friends.
他总会带海带沙拉来
He always brings the seaweed salad.
我喜欢和海王一起玩 我想说...
I love to chill with A-to-the-Q. Now as I was saying--
我们很愿意和海王见一见
Uh, we would love to chill with A-to-the-Q.
我们明天能和你一起庆祝吗
Could, uh, we celebrate with you tomorrow?
-好啊 -还能见到海王
- Yes! - And meet Aquaman?
好啊 可以
yeah. Yeah.
笑一笑很好
Laughing's fun.
所以他们都叫我谈判能手
And that's why they call me the closer.
凯拉·塞吉维克靠边站吧
Move over, Kyra Sedgwick.
杰姬 送我个礼物篮
Jackie! Send me a gift basket.
你给你自己送礼物篮
You're sending yourself a gift basket?
是的 这叫自我关怀 艾米丽
Yes, it's called self-care, Emily.
凡 听我说
Van, follow my logic.
你根本不认识海王
You don't know Aquaman.
等亚特兰蒂斯人过来时 海王不在
When the Atlantians show up, and Aquaman's not there,
我们的买♥♥卖♥♥就吹了
we're going to lose the deal.
这笔买♥♥卖♥♥本来就要吹了 艾米丽
We were already going to lose the deal, Emily.
做生意的第一守则就是
That's the first rule of business.
客户没谈妥 不能让他们走
Never let them leave without a yes.
我很确定做生意的第二守则是
Well, I'm pretty sure the second rule of business
不要做无法实现的承诺
is don't make promises you can't deliver.
这是守则的话
If that was a rule,
那就没有做生意这一说了
there would be no such thing as business.
艾米丽 我们晚些再想办法
Emily! We'll figure it out later,
先用这个派对给他们惊喜
after we wow them with this party.
我们都不知道"沉海日"是什么
How am I supposed to wow them with a party tomorrow
怎么在明天办派对给他们惊喜
when we don't even know what Sinking Day is?
我提供想法
I provided the vision,
你负责去实现
which is for you to make it happen.
你向我寻求帮助
You asked me to help,
然后让我做所有的工作
and then you made me do all the work
你却在写歌♥
while you wrote a song.
我每到暑假就会给我爸打工
You know, I worked every summer for my dad.
天啊 花店的故事
Oh, God, tales from the flower shop.
是的 没错
Yeah, that's right.
我就是在那里学会了勤奋
That's where I learned hard work.
我一直希望可以为一个
And I was hoping I would end up working
像我爸爸那样的人工作
for someone like my father--
鼓舞人心的人 一位导师
someone inspiring, a mentor--
结果我摊上了你
yet I ended up with you.
我开始明白你♥爸♥爸的意义了
I'm starting to get where your dad's coming from.
我也开始明白你♥爸♥爸的意义了
and I'm starting to get where your dad is coming from!
就是一家花店
Which is a flower shop,
因为你满嘴都离不开它
because you won't shut the hell up about it!
没错 祝贺你取得了成功
That's right. Congratulations on a good job
收♥货♥人和寄送人都是凡
both to and from Van.
我知道
I know.
-过来 -神呐
- Come here! - Oh, my God.
我一直在紧密追踪调查亚历克斯的如厕时间表
Guys, I've been tracking Alex's bathroom habits very closely.
听起来像人资的活 你继续说
That feels like an HR issue, but continue.
认为亚历克斯就是在厕所变身奥林匹亚的
I believe that's where Alex changes into his Olympian costume.
举例来说 中午12点06
For instance, at 12:06 p.M.,
奥林匹亚阻止了一场抢劫
the Olympian stopped a mugging.
而在12点05 亚历克斯去了厕所整好两分钟
Now, at 12:05, Alex went to the bathroom for exactly two minutes,
这个时间小号♥太长
which is too long for a number one,
大号♥又太短
yet too short for a number two,
-也就是说 -你是个疯子
- which means-- - You're a crazy person.
是吗
Am I?
想到你会怀疑我了
Well, I thought you might be skeptical,
所以我准备执行 女士被打劫假案
which is why I'm putting Operation Fake Lady Getting Mugged
行动
into effect.
什么叫女士被打劫假案行动
What the hell is Operation Fake Lady Getting--
哎呦我的天
Oh, my God!
下面真有一位女士被打劫了
There's a real lady getting mugged down there!
好吧
Okay.
好 现在往厕所里装个摄像头
Okay, now put a camera into the bathroom,
就能看到亚历克斯变身了 走
so we can watch Alex change. Let's go.
-罗恩 -听他说完
- Ron... - Let him finish.
不不不 这样下去就失控了
No-no-no-no, this is getting out of hand.
他不是超级英雄 好吗
He is not a superhero, okay?
不希望你的愚蠢形象更加生动可信了
And I don't want you to look more foolish than you already have.
-干嘛 -亚历克斯去哪儿了
- What? - Where'd Alex go?
不代表...
It doesn't mean--
我信了 但要再确定一下
I'm sold. Just to be sure,
我们去看一下亚历克斯
I think we should probably take a look
变装的视频
at that footage of Alex changing.
有道理
You're right.
韦恩安全公♥司♥庆祝沉海日
-看 -好
- Look. - Okay.
欢迎来到我们一年一度的沉海日庆祝会
Welcome to our annual Sinking Day celebration!
你们觉得怎么样
What do you think?
我没参加过这种沉海日派对
This is nothing like any Sinking Day party I've ever been to.
-那个... -这种才叫派对嘛
- Oh, well, uh-- - It's way better!
看还有奥林王的雕塑
Look at that sculpture of King Orin!
包皮也是切一半 跟我们一样
He's even half circumcised, which is our way.
你们喜欢就好
Uh, so glad you like it.
我们还准备了金枪鱼
Wait until we bring out the tuna!
好 尊贵的金枪鱼
Yes! The noble tuna,
我们最宝贵的同盟 值得信赖的朋友
our most valuable ally, and trusted friend.
你真是准备到我们心坎里了
You have touched our hearts.
现在我唯一的问题就是 海王在哪呢
I guess the only question now is, where's Aquaman?
对 你知道 海王就是...
Yes. Well, you know, Aquaman is like--
朋友们
Aha, friends!
欢迎
Welcome.
美中不足的是
A little fly in the ointment.
海王来不了了
A-to-the-Q can't make it.
但他送来了这瓶法国马皮大香槟白兰地
But he sends this Cognac Grande Champagne du LaCoursiere.
拉尔斯 这方面你是行家
Lars, I believe you are a connoisseur.
全世界只有四瓶
There are only four bottles of this in the world.
还有艾伯特
And Albert,
我知道你喜欢电影
I understand you're somewhat of a film buff.
送你的 布兰登·弗雷泽全集
For you, the complete works of Brendan Fraser.
大♥师♥
The master.
布兰登·弗雷泽
Brendan Fraser?
不知道为啥 他在亚特兰蒂斯那边特火
He's revered in Atlantis for some reason.
还有安东尼
And for Anthony,
送你妻子一瓶香水
perfume for your wife,
还有瓶一模一样的 送给某位佳人
and a second bottle of the same perfume for whoever.
贴心
Oh, yeah!
跟你说实话 上次我们开完会
I have to be honest with you, when we left that meeting,
本来已经准备找当地的公♥司♥了
we were gonna go with a local company.
真的吗 你能相信吗 艾米丽
Really? Can you believe that, Emily?
我也是第一次听说 凡
I'm just as surprised as you, Van.
这样吧 先生们
Ah! You know what, gentlemen,
我们何不把这瓶马皮打开
why don't we crack open that bottle of LaCoursiere